Last week a few of the problems fac~ ing football sented. Here are more problems and a list of essentials that must be had be- fore a football team can be fielded. What are our problems in the way of personnel and equipment? Well, we would need a good head coach and three assistants for the line, backfield and freshman squad. A good trainer is essential. We should have one new for all our teams. He mends equipment, is first aid man, rubdown expert and gen- eral overseer of the health condition of all players. He needs at least four assistantsfipossibly trained students working part time—to help him when the squads finish practice. -We must have a doctor on the practice field at all times as well as on the playing field. A moment’s delay with a brokenvneck or care- less handling of the injured may mean death. Remember, these boys will not be blocking and tackling in sheer roguishness; they will be in deadly earnest. Hospitalization plans and medical facilities must be available. Gymnasium equipment starts with hot tub baths, electrical massage ma— chines, heat penetrating electrical ma— chines, swirling baths, hair dryers, medical supplies, drying ovens to dry uniforms soaked in rain, snow and mud. Remember, a football game is not called off on account of weather! For the work outdoors, we must have uniforms, nose guards, shin pads, foot- ball shoes, extra cleats, charging dum- mies, tackling dummies, goal and line marking equipment for a minimum of 33 players on a varsity squad, perhaps 50, and at least 25 or 30 players bu the freshman squad. Why freshmen? They learn opponent’s plays, take a beating on our oifense and provide competition for varsity posts. We need a field to play on. It must 'be» a Well drained field, with a soft turf that can be protected completely with tarpsulins in case of snow storms. Ogden field could be used for practice, but only after the track and baseball diamond were eliminated and the field reconditioned. It also must be equipped for floodlights. Ogden field, however, is allocated for new buildings, so that new enthusiasts were pre- ’ land would have to be purchased and developed. Despite our prevailing heavy scholastic schedules, our student players will need another course, a lecture and lab in football. They must learn offense, defense, rules and strategy. The rudiments of the game such as blocking, tackling, punting, place kicking, passing, dodging, “straight-arming,” etc, must be practiced over and over until the right actions become habit. If this training is to be up to date and on a par used by our probable opponents, we will have to have a mom tion picture camera and projector to study the team’s performance. There are a great number of plays to learn; they must be done with speed and precision. This is a time consum- ing task, because it involves perfecting the movements of every player. Even after four years of high school foot- ball and four years of college football, it is safe to say that few players, if any, know all the rules of the game. Much time must be devoted to key players, particularly quarterbacks, to teach the governing rules so as to take advantage of the knowledge when strategy is involved. The elements must be so well mastered that the key men have time to analyze opponent’s weaknesses, playing time left, wind velocity‘and direction and the count- less other factors which may weigh in the balance of victory. Granting that these conditions be met, who will serve as opponents for our football team? Would we play small engineering schools and colleges of art and literature, or those on our present baseball and basketball schedules? Would we want to take on as many as six to eight games a season? If you think we can tackle “big time class A” teams, you had better be pre— pared to add sports public relations personnel, many more coaches, scouts of the opposition and of local high school talent, a ‘ticket department, a stadium and its maintenance crews, scholarships for excellent players, salaries for the players, and, oh, yes, we must have a schedule. We cannot see rostrum on page d EV Elli» sarcomas THE CHRISTMAS CONCERT this week was an inspiring program. I have never seen so many Techawks give such silent, attentive tribute to a perform- ance as they gave when listening to the moving “Adoramus Te" sung by the glee club. At first, the audience was quiet in be- tween, numbers, but then spontaneous enthusiastic applause delayed the pro- w gram. It was evident that the program was i going to run overtime fl as 2 pm. neared. A few minutes after the hour, some of the au- dience made a noisy exit, causing Mr. Erickson to stop 3,“, abruptly and ask for quiet. This is the third all—school function at which such a lack of courtesy has been demonstrated. It would be nice to have more time available to the Christmas concert. The program is so worthwhile it’s a shame we can’t have the program run into the next hour. This conflicts with instructor’s plans, however, in making full use of the hours remaining before the “vacation feeling” sets in. Last year, the academic deans bore the .brunt of faculty wrath for permitting what were considered too many dismissed classes. If they all con joyed- the music as much as I did, how- ever, an exception might be made for’ the. Christmas concert. ORCHIDS to Campus Players for last week’s terrific dramatic perform- ance. Theirs has been the most suc- cessfully managed student entertain- ment this semester. Besides being a good show, it is a hopeful break in the succession of student socials which have not done well at the box office. FOOTBALL ENTHUSIASTS may be just a bit calmer in their cries for a team at Illinois Tech when they have finished the second article on the subL ject by “Uncle John” Schommer this week. Actually, the information is much condensed from the detail it could take in a longer series. But who wants much more detail when the half million dol- lars needed to field a team is enough to stop us cold? Another warning as to the tremendous cost involved could be taken from the withdrawal of Wash— ington University, St. Louis, from the football arena. Their team reputedly lost them $100,000 last year. I don’t think that our football enthusiasts want to run that kind of risk. quiaacs I have a plan for making exams more, comprehensive. In cursory discussions with many students on campus, I find that the plan is agreeable to most. In all engineering courses, and closely related ones, such as BE, math, and in general, those courses that do not rely on essay type tests, I suggest that a minimum of 5 tests be given during the semester, including the final. Actually, any amount from 5 to 7 would be nearly ideal. , These are my reasons, as are well known by most students: The fewer the tests the more material must be recalled precisely by the student for each test. There comes a time in every stu- dent’s semester when he doesn’t feel up to snuff and may write a bad test. Adequate tests during the semester may smooth out his aver- age. Giving the sturdent less to remem- ber between quimzes will cut down on cheating tendencies, which ap- parently are still! rampant. Decreasing the tension of some students who are in dread of quali- fying for the second reason. * Thisis only a partial list that could probably be supplemented by many students. However, I think that this list is inclusive enough. There are a few non—thinking students (there are creatures like this) who howl every time a quiz is announced by the instructor. I don’t think they know that they are cutting their own throats as well as the larynxes of their fellows. Think it over. Alan l’lait Vasectomy r warms snow fail and than isllhool you: by the dudoutuot‘llllo em to “guts stool“? wllm5 .Fodeml. Meow It, llllnob. Entered as qlantern odd elm out October ill Wit. at the post office All mileage. Illinois, under the at More I he resumed fitter national advertising in the "National Momma w,lco the. on Mad hourlv IN V. Advertising roles furnished“ u on request. Sub- ail-8p Wlowomoull ill Mm 1.9mm mime: $2. so on v a . 1k a Edison-inflated...”..............lltlt tlllldtldtw bottoms Monomer. . . .. . . . . . . . . .cuvv numeral Associate thither ............... JOHNNIE MM Managing Editor. . . ... . . . . . .Mbltt‘t snowman. Nowellvlltmo. ...... ..............fif@htllfl% sports Miter. . . . . . . ... . . . . . . . .IW seawater: {Mature Editor ......... . ....... DAMN MIMER flow WWW”................dem’ RWWK floaty Miter“....................d@lbd§lwdi°l aromatics deliver. . . .... . . . . . .Mtllitl‘ll announce Newsletter Editor. ............ atom thMTZ .A little six year old boy came to his father with the inevitable question, “Where did I come from?” The father had been expecting to hear the question for some time and was fully prepared. When, he finished his thorough and factual explanation an hour later, he asked his son “Why did you want to know where you came from?” The boy answered, “My boy friend, Johnny, comes from Toledo, and I wanted to know where I came from." “You were brought in here for drinking,” lectured the police ser~ geant to the inebriate. “Thasli mighty fine, Sarg,” re' plied the culprit. “Lest get started.” -7 r- a Jean: “She married him when he was a struggling young engineer." Ted: “Really?” Jean: “Yeah. . .He was struggling in the arms of her father and brother." There’s nothing like having a baby around to make a person realb ice that it’s a changing world. A girl had received three pay cuts. Her comment: On the first, there went my dollar lunches; on the second, my nylon hose; and on the third, my ama- teur standing. A professor of obstetrics at the University of Glasgow experi- mented with anesthetics for use in childbirth. When he was knighted for his outstanding work, it was suggested that has adopt as a coat of arms, in commemoration of his work, “a wee naked bairn” with the accompanying motto, “Does your mother know you’re out?” it '2' .x. Young doctor, to his bride: Don’t get suspicious about the greeting I got from that beautiful, tall, gorgeous blonde. She’s just a girl I met profes- sionally.” Bride: hers?” “Who’s profession, yours or Pickles to pickles, and pork to pork, When Doe said “Triplets,” I shot the storkl M desirable finesse