FlVE (ka NEWS This is your new informer scribbling his way l'hrough his firsl Arx News. We've given lhe mailer some ihough’r. and decided ’rhe col- umn has a lhreeiold func‘rion: news. down-iro— earlh dir‘r. and serious opinions. We're mixing all lhree lhis week. so here goes: lnifialed inlo Scarab last week were )uniors Ari Lillibridge. Wes Pipher. and Jack Randall. nol lo men’rion sophomore Tom Reagan. Frank ”Casey" Slengel. a nighl—school slu- den’r lasi year and a par‘nlime junior ’lhis lasl semesler. is now in Delroil. working lor a Big Archiieci. The freshmen con’rend l‘hey haven‘l done anylhing iii lo be included in lhe column lhis week. Wha’r is lhis. a murual silence paci? Honey Chile (Linolyper's nole: Oh. he means Miss Mary Elizabei‘h Spies) is up lo ihaf game. loo. She claims she's been a good girl. so we‘ve gol no‘rhing on her. and she doexn'l wear her name in lhis week's Arx News. All righ’r. Honey. you win. Bill Hasskarl had some difficulty wirh a brok~ en zipper one week ago ioday. We con'l go in’ro derail. buf aller Mr. Pelerhans' class Hoss~ ky had lo (cm? on his 'lopcoel belore he could lalk lo ‘lhe prof. Add ’rhis one lo your lisi oi junior nick— names: "Swi‘ll'y" for O'Kelly. His girl JFriend calls him lhal.’ and we can": find om why. am we have ideas . . . By breaking lhe bonds basal beiore him. bungling, boasl‘iul. bashful. Bill (lhe big bun: dle of blah lrom 'Braska) bego’r himseli a "B" in Beaux'Ar‘rs behavior . . . All oi which means how did soph Bill Daly gel iha? high grade in freehand? Meanwhile Marshall (Porky) Rissman has gone info mourning because a prol will": ini- lials Mr. Mell prohibiis Jrhe use oi corner win. dows . . . And Eddie (Norfolk) Prank; finds it necessary ‘ro go edgewise lhrough doors be cause his ’railor upholsrered his muscles loo well This guy Sherlock oi lhe lankeryi He fin ished up mos’r of his courses even lhougn he did have lo drop oul in mid»sernes’ler. could all work 8 plus hours a day and do our school s‘iuli like he does—eh? All kidding aside. ’rhe recen’r forum begoi many enligh’rened faces and reseir ihe spirié oi work. Wilh Jrhis and our eniering ihe greal conflict which slowed us all came means. if ll hadn'l come before. lo rea. lize ihe worlh of our work. The presence and prospec’rs of added lechnical work are wei- come as increasing our value in defense. Bu‘l lei's nol' iorge’r ’rha’r lhe shodened iime for our design should only make us more con- il we momeniariiy. scious of ihe slimulus we can creaie for a more clean archilec‘lure. You and lhe guy nex‘i io you can simpliiy man's problems and clarify his purposes by giving him lhe righ’r environment And we all know wha‘r fha’r environmenl is. If we live ‘ll’llS s’ruil, i’r oughi‘a help us fo ihe nexl move a lolL more easily. Think il over. arx. A PROPOS. Skilhléi'l‘filk Ablhllkikkm "l was mol‘oring wilh Jackie las’r nigh'l and he had lo slop because he loaf his bearings." ”Well. or heard he was original. Lorraine. lvloslr lellows run our of gas." a. as >I< * The orches’rra s’rood rooled +0 ’rhe spolm il’ had played "Trees" once ’roo ofien. n a e4 - <4: Sign in a girl's dormi’rory: ”ll you need a man aiier ken o'clock cell line ianilor." Say. fellows. I'd like you in mee‘l Joe. He's a good guy. hmL lhe poor boy (usl came l'o lllinois Tech. He'd like io learn a lililo bil- aboul ihe sacred halls of "dear old Tech." 30 he does lhe mos’r logical firing and asks some of lhe boys. "Where can i ragisler? Whal‘ is ’rhe Sludem‘ Union? Where can l eel?” To The final queslion. he geis an answer of "huh" irom a seasoned sophomore: bui a slolid junior gives a lhree hundred sixl'y de- gree ‘rurn wilh his linger and poln’rs in as many direclions while saying. ”over ’rhere.“ However. ihe worldwise senior looks down on ihe lad and says. ”Live and learn. my boy, live and learn." So now. Joe knows (usi where lo go. He follows ihe resl of his fellow sufferers info “the regis‘lror's office bul finds lha’r his high school iooiball shoulders are no moi-ch for lhe (osiling llT bOys in lhe regisirar's oliice. Shaken and worn he lin— ally learns lhai he is to regisiar on ihe sec. and )floor. Alier lhe rough grind of regis» lering. Joe is really hungry. Man alive. he 1feels like he can ear a horse. So he goes lo ihe lunchroom and gels horse meal. Oh. he ordered roasI‘ bee‘l all righ’r, bui he can'l quile believe ihal is when} he goi. Now. Joe is really an uprand’coming, en. lerprising freshman. so he asks if ihore is anything ihal can be done aboul such lood? Somebody iells him ihal lhe whole school wem‘ on a slrike for boiler load lasi semesv ler and cerlain lhings were accomplished. "How could anyrhing have been accom- plished wiih such iood as ihai siill being served?” Bul lhen. .loe calms down and asks whai has been accomplished, The (unior who has been lislening lo Joe’s quosiions does no“? wanl in be slumped by a irosh— men for. after all. he is infallible and knows everylhing. So. Joe is iniroduced lo one on lhe lunchroom commii’ree whom lhe (unior has almosl lorgoiien aboul. .ioe fires his ques’rions lo lhe members oi lhe lunch- room commi’r‘lee. "Okay! W W lo answer some of J(he queslions. Hamburgers and hol- dogs. lor lhe lirsl lime. are being tailored as an everyday aHrac’rion.” "Well. lhe lasi one I boughdl was rare-quan- ia‘lively and quali‘ralively." The siory coniinues and Joe hears aboui how Mr. Allison has promised lo have a French-bier in for "l'ho beginning o‘l i'he sev rnes’rer )us‘r sl'ar’red. "Where is ii?" Joe asks. A feeble reply is made lhal sounded like: ”Prelly soon: lhe conlracls are oul." "Bu'l. ii is really comingw-ond a grill. loo." ”l’ll believe if when l see if." Joe says. (You nee. he has really become an lllinois Tech man already.) "How come We lunch room is so much like lhe pig pen back on my dad‘s larrn?" Jon's nexi queslion is inevilable. ”Now, Joe." says ihe commi’rlee man. "you shoulcln'l ask such embarrassing ques‘rions. Thai is pomL our iaull." ”l don"r care who’s al iaulll l don'l like lo eal in a place like lhal.” comes The indig- nanl answer. i "Take i’r easy. Joe. Ai‘ler a rnon’rh or "lwo. you'll swear ”rho place looks as spic and span as a molher's ki’rchen. l’r's (us‘i a mailer ol gelling used lo if." Thoroughly aroused by lhe frosh's unap~ precinlive alli’rude. lhe now willing escorl de- cides ‘ro play his irump card lo display 10 ‘rhis novice Ihe ullirnala in scenic beauly—«lhe Armour campus. Realizing the psychological impliczalions involved. our far-seeing iriond relraines from describing lhe impending eye freer. When 'lhey emerge from lhe Slu- den‘r Union. bolh lhe freshman and upper classrnen pause and look about Comple’rely speechless. lhe irosh furns hungry eyes upon I‘he beaulies wrough’r by nalure and man in ‘rhis Eden of learning. Finally. ‘rhe innocenl speaks lhusly. "Where are lhe lrees. and how did 'lhese buildings (’rhe lwo lha'l are nol ye‘r condemned) gel so fillhy?” All ol Jrl'Ie lilerali. lhe cullured gen‘llemen of HT. burs’r simullaneously info rears. mourn- ing The lack of imaginalion and We unlu- ‘Iorod demeanor of lhis unlorlunaie. Gulping down his hear’r-lel’r sympa‘lhy. lhe Techman begins his enlighlening discourse: "The broad land over which rhese alalely oaks bow ’rheir loa'iy heads is known lo ihe oily ia’rhers as 'l‘ederal Shoal”. bul we of Armour call ll 'Flirl’e‘iion Walk.“ Look ou’r for ’rhal' speeding car! Direci'ly across khe campus (ahem). can be seen lhe lowering Main Build- ing. housing wiihin iis Evy covering ’rhe admin- islral'ive offices. Here. youngsler. lei's sir on one of ‘lhese convenieni benches and I'll lell you 'l'he slory oi ”Tails pasi. present and lu— lure.“ DON'T MlSS THE NEXT lNSTALLMENTl SAME TIME. SAME STATlON. What “to Do in Case oi An Air Raidl i. As soon as lhe bombs siari dropping. run like hell. (ll doesn'l mailer where you run. as long as you run like hell.) (a) Wear i'rack shoes if possible. ii lhe people in iron’r oi you are slow—«run over ’rhem. 2. Take advanlage of opporiunilies efiorded you when air—raid sirens sound ll-Ie warn- ing of aliack; he. (e) ii in a bakery, grab some pie or cake. (b) if in a iavern. grab a "slug." (c) If in a movie. grab a blonde. 3. ll you find an unexploded bomb, always pick i‘l up and shake if like well. (Maybe -. lhe Jfiring pin is sluck.) Ii ‘rhal doesn'l work. heave i’r in’ro the furnace. (A good funeral man will lake care of lhe resi.) 4-. If an incendiary bomb is found burning in a building. ‘rhrow gasoline on if. (You can”: pul i’r oul anyway, so you migln‘ as well have a lilile fun.) (a) ll no gasoline is available. lhrow a buckel oi wafer on if, and lie down: you're dead. P.S. The proper‘ries oi lhe bomb lree ‘lhe hydrogen from ’rhe wafer causing rapid combus’rion. ln lad. ii will ex« plode wilh an awful crash. 5. Always gel exciled and holler bloody mur- der. (Ii will add ’ro ’rhe iun and confusion and score hell oul of +he kids.) 6:. Drink heavily; ea‘r onions, limburger cheese. elc., belore en’rering a. crowded air raid sheller. (ll will make you very unpopular wirh lhe people wilhin your immediare vicini’ry. elimina’ring any un- necessary discomlor’l lhaf would be more prevalemL if people crowded loo closely.) 7. ll you should be ’rhe vic’rim of a direcl bomb hi’r. don'+ go ‘ro pieces. (Lie skill and you won‘iL be no’riced.) 8. Knock ’rhe air-raid wardens dOWn ii lhey slarf lo hell you whenL lo do. (They always save lhe besl seals for ihemselves and lheir friends. anyway.) COOP NEE WELCOME FRESMMEN. Yours is lhe heri‘rage lo be bro-rhers in 'lhe long and pain'lul. process of becoming en- gineers. Many will be 'lhe grueling hours pa- lienlly spenl burning lho midnighl oil. Many will be +he grueling momenls sponl frying lo pass 'I‘hose quizzes under lhe ready eyes of your walchlul pedagogues. Many and varied will be lhe oxasperalions you shall have fall before leaving llT. Ah. bul n01 we hope compleloly axpec-l'anl ones as we. loo. have lel‘r many of your pains and anguish. (Perhaps l'he besl advice l‘ha‘l’ we upper class man can give you a’r lhis lime may be ennumeralod in a quola‘lion by a wise. bo- speci‘aclod. and long dead gen'l'loman oi lhe Orienl. A popular ramil‘icn’rion of ’rho old saying goes lhusly: "Man who ride on eighl ball will nol' be cough-l behind H." In olher words boys i’rs your +0 do or die, so le-l’s gel in and plug. Baal lhose quizos. ioin lhose clubs and yours shall be a happier and ac-Hvilies. lile of HT. Educa’rors proclaim lha‘r exlra~curricular ac» ’rivilies are an essenl‘ial loa’rure in any well- rounded college program. The knowledge. en- (oymenl and friendships in be gained from such aclivi’rias are especially valuable as a slaloili'zing inlluonce in lhe skill engineering program of lhe co-op course. In orher words. i’r will keep you from going crazy aller a low lerms cl college algebra. physics. and cal» culus. There is a literal gold mine cl opporl'uni‘ry new awniiing inleroshacl comps. The Yearbook needs men for rewrilu. idenlilicaiion. arl‘iclos: ’rho Tech Now can um s‘rudanls in all dopar'l- monks: repor’ring. rewri‘re. spor’rs: enclr l‘ho Comp Book Shore also has places for energe- lic co-ops. Experience is null neoeswry; kin'ol'ic energy is lhe only requisilo. Freshmen and sophomores will be welcomed wi’rh open arms. (NOTICE TO OUTwOF-TOWN CO-OPSH These organizafions are glad it) have conop helpers iusl for fine eighl' weeks school period. Jus’r drop info ’rhe Comp Book Slow. lsl' en- Trance. lourlh floor. Chopin. and fall: lo Fi’rch. Bech’roll. or lhe 'wri‘rers cl 'lhis column.) A: 1!: II: In I On lhe lirsl lew days ol' ‘rhe school period (so-ops are busy grouting old friends and ac~ quain‘roncos. mosl of whom haven‘l been seen for eighl long hard weeks. Aboul lhis limo lhey begin lo miss some ol lhe lamlliar faces usually seen running around Chopin Hall. Af- ler ‘rhal lhey wondel whal has happened ’ro lhese good souls. To ease lhe minds all all co-ops ‘rhis column will devole a paragraph each week +0 lis‘r lhe whereabouls of our wen dering bre’rhron. The following concern former members of lhe 4A class. Marshall Min’rer is now suppor‘ling Uncle Sam as a member of lhe Marines. Minier. We are sure. will make his mark lhere as he has done here. 1 Eugene Colombo recenlly accepled a lool design (ch in De’rroil. A former presidenl' of lhe 4A class is also among “lhe missing lhis lerm; namely Jim ‘Nooclbury. He is now a couop in lhe eleclrical dept of Nor-l'hwes’rern. F. l. Johnson and Bob Piepenbrook have enrolled in lhe clay school lhis l'erm. while Roger McCormick has decided in work liar awhile. The Engineer's Co- -opera+ive Book Share wishes in express ils apologies ha 3rd and 4rh year classmen lor no’r having had several books available it: i-hem early on Monday morning. Feb. 2. A delayed shipmen’r from one of i'he New York Publishing houses was rho cause of lhe irregularity. Reporls show I‘haf ’rhe co- op siudenxs have been responsible for a good share ol ’rhe bush ness done by ihe ECBS They say rhanks for lhe generous palronage.