PAGE SEX And then there’s the one about the trav- eling, salesman and the farmer’s-«cw gee, that darn feature cd‘itor puts the: screws on every good story that we get hold of! Okay, okay, we’ll keep it clean from now on“ darn it. What's this? The feature ed. has gone home? Well, well, wolll! Hero’s our chance to spill what we know about that gallant gentleman and all his galavanling with at Dorothy woman! ‘50 here goes. ’1: 5!: all ’i‘ 8060:? Arthur Peter Minwegen, erstwhile member of the American Association of Amalgamated Women Haters, has officially withdrawn from this society and is now angling for a membership in the l.l.’l‘.W.A. The change of this sudden change of policy can be attributed to the personage of a Miss Dorothy Kennedy, a little blonde new finishing her education at Chicago Teachv crs college! Art, the story goes, in doing his best to further the gal’s education as evidenced by all the attention that be de- votes to her! A standard procedure for this newsome twosome for a Saturday goes something like this: the Northwestern game in the early afternoon, dinner in somo ‘chummy’ restaurant, then oil to the thea- ter, and finally a lesson in highclass smooching demonstrated by F'roi. hiinny himself! A full day in any man’s world!!! fl! til it it This here college is rcally gonna be on the beam comes the night of that ii. oi 0.. HT basketball game Yeah man, but verily?! There’ll be cheer leaders, 3 bahd, and all the trimmings that go with such goodies. so here’s our chance to show the ”lntclv lectuals” what we’ve got, both ira lhc form of a team and an active student body? 80 got them there cow bells, got yoursch on (into, grease: up them voml chords and get over to the U. oi' C. ficldhonsc on 39c. 6th. 2r s m c 5-300 01” in case any of youse mugs unpcsled your pcepers from your own skoit at the Turkey Trot youse might have noticed the hilly that Clill Gorski was draggingl Well, ac- cording to Cliff, this was the gal’s foist date, she being more or less a home gall? Since we’re connascwers of such stuff we think that dis guy Gorski is nuts. The only way a lady like that could get to he 18 without dating would be to spend her time doing ‘time’ or else live at the North Pole! PS. to Gorski: If you find it impractical to keep the gal occupied please communicate with the service dept. of this pillar and we’ll ‘andle’ the situation! ’14 #3! >3 =3 FLASH: DOC DAVEY FINDE LGVE :1 WQNDERF‘UL INSTITUTION! Doctor Hm“- old Davey, of our industrial engiuecring dept. is currently engaged in one oi" the fiashlcst courtships ever seen in these parts. With such swiftness has the good doctor struck that he has i‘airiy swept the damsel in quest-ion off her feel-«wind she iii/ms it?! Who are we talking about? ‘Why Mary Lauderjung of the Publicity office, of (some? n s: a: s: REWARD * REWARD * REWARD To the person who knows the where- abouts of Warren “Mugsy” Hartmann's overcoat, which was accidentally taken at the sr. mech’s stag party, will go two tickets to the all-star basketball game. The coat which Warren received in trade looks the same but doesn’t fit so well (on him it re- sembles Grandma’s girdle wrapped around an old rain barrel). According to informa- ~tion “Muggsy’ is getty pretty darn tired of trying to draw in his “Pot tummy” every time he buttons the coat if that guy doesn’t cough up his coat but quick; Hartman is going to have an extra panel inserted in the back. SGOPER SNOOP‘ERS. TECHNGLGGY NEWS You were doing line until your subcon- scious decided it needed to blow its hose. Then you woke up. You snufl‘led and reach- ed under the pillow for your handkerchief. It wasn’t there. it didn't bother you much at first. You checked the pocket of your pajamas. No handkerchief. With one hand you scrabbled around between the sheets. No handker- chief. You snufiled and fell asleep. But then it wmfidu’llct you sleep. You burbled when you snorcd, or something. Your adenoids were treading water. but due to be scuttled any minute, and things began to glob on the surface of your mind: snurl’ no hadkachi‘l‘, gob dobh‘lt, \vhemlt hadknchil? And them you were awake again. You Stark-ll a handhcrchioi limit. It was your only handkerchief and you needed it. You couldn’t turn on the light because your drunken old man had blown the fuse, mail- ing a poison pen letter to the. W.C.’l‘.U. You shouldn’t paint your fuse box green. So now no light. You had to hunt your chillie— duster in the dark. You weren't really awake when you started. You began by scrunching down and sliding your hands around between the sheets again. more thoroughly this time. Suddenly way under, you found a human foot, and you grabbed it._You bit it, and it, was your. That woke you up, all right. Remember? How did it logic? And has it healed yet? Thou you began lo rmllzc the magni- tude of your problcm. There wasn’t much moonlight bouncing in, and anyhow your handkerchief was the same color as a sheet or the pajamas you wore that night. Some texture, too. You bm‘bled “Brig 0d yer nidles ad haysdags.” Then you set to work. 0m: by onc you examined m‘cry blanket and like upper shoot, folded ouch ncotly, arid piled them all cm‘ci‘ully on tho floor beside your bad. No noscwipc. You snullled, removed the pillowocasc, examined pillow and pillow-case with the cure of a Holmes. No soap. No dice. No handkerchief. You de- cided right then that in the future your handkerchief would be a luminous affair with belied edges, hawsered lore and aft on the bias to the head and foot of the bed. Remember? Same old handkerchief, isn’t it? Still losing the thing, aren’t you? G i r to ‘ U Time to tuck in the bibs. hills, tho’ they droop with the soup and are not very perky with loft-over tux’hcy, whilot l' dish out a few tempting tidbits of gossip and give out with a hit of this howl play as on who laid on egg or got the bird during the happy holidays and up to the present day digging. Sylvia Weislo really carries this New Deal Thanksgiving thing to the nth degree. This little nonvconformlsu did not tangle with the traditional turkey, but asked papa for a second helping of pheasant, no less! . . . And prancing off excess poundage at the Campus Saturday night were Dave Kester Blind—I mean, Dave Hester, Blind Bate, Helen Gordon with a Local Lobo, and Gus Musmkas and Eileen performing slight tunrabouts on the ye old dance floor thus proving the ancient adage concerning the shortest distance between two hearts is a straight line. All this tool: place at the Campus. Sorta like old home week. George Drovilmvsky really must have put away a pow’ful passel of poultry, as evi- denced by his inability to balance that equilibrium equation when 3 equals chair crashed to b equals floor and (3 equals George, really parallel to ’0. Result: (3 equals George and cussin’ violently. FACULTY FENAGALINS Our latest bid for a supple-memory Su« perman, should that Comic Cutup ever de- cide to leave us, is L. F. Supple, known as “Muscles.” With a deft twist of the digits, he does a mean job of breaking a bottle of sugar in two. Major Smalc, that naughty boy, pulling out of Dr. Bodcr’s movies a bit before the deadline. And while in the psychology de- partment, this week's bunch of tiger lillies You khcclcd on the bed. assumed a stir lanm position, and patted every square inch of the lower shoot with your palms. By then you were hushed. You were just manic ing the motions; you didn’t expect to find anything. Arid you didn’t. You mumbled. “gob dobbit. Klecdex, here I cubb.” Then you started to search the floor. Still kneeling on the bed. you loaned pori— lously over the side, hung an arm down combed the dust on the floor. There you got results, but no handkerchief. Your finds were: I. The bone of one pork chop 2. A torn card reading: Madam Nora McNorath. Fortunes told and Consultations 3. A large poster landing the advent of ”The Birth of a Nation.” 4. A half~eaten phonograph record sand— wich with everything. 01’ course, you couldn’t read the letter- ing till later, in the daylight, but you got the general idea: no handkerchief. You sat cross-lagged on tho bod and tricd to ilgurc it all out. You decided that, this would be a pushover for Ellery Queen, that Nero Wolfe could solve it in the middle of an alterdinner snooze, and that Miles Har- mon would expose all in two minutes flat. You docidcd to apply the Ellery Queen Approach. Either, you reasoned, the hand- kerchief is in the bed, or it is not, If it is not in the bed, it is either on the floor or elsewhere. If it is elsewhere, the situa- tion becomes acute. “Gob dabbit," you blub- bored. ‘ The homlhcrchicf, you continued, is nol. in the bed. It is not on the floor. It must be elsewhere. But you. placed it in the bed and no outside force has acted upon it, hence it. cannot be elsewhere. But, you wondered, has an outside force acted? At this point you mimic the greatest miti- wko of your life. Remember? Could you forgot? You snortcd in disgust! In the morning you woke up on the liviugroom sofa, wondering why. Then grim remembrance hit you, and you dashed up to your bedroom. Yes, the mess was there. It hadn’t been a dream. You aimed a savage kick at the neatly pllcd blankets on the floor. They flow around and there on the floor was the handkerchief, it bod boon under the blankets! How do you like life as a hermit? 7 o i? i” i d ' g l ~ c goes to Dr. llmlor. Seems the good Doctor’s lab equipment was in demand by the Com- monwealth Edison company. Good work, liloclm‘ R! RYALTO A LA. “’l‘humb Fun” Jackie Chalroian really staged 1941’s best coming out afiarir in Prof. Gloves” economics room. Whilst divesting himself of his football uniform, a few unin- vited guests invaded Jackie’s boudoir, with Mr. C. rated the best cover-up man ll'l‘ ~ever had. Just call him “Gypsic"ll And while we’re in Mr. Gloves" department, what about Phcro “Fifi” Thomas” cooperation in la classroom??? To Mr. Glavcs’ interroga- tion of “Don't you girls know anything?” ~Fifi responded with an extremely energetic flapping of the digits. Woo! Wool The E (with the) DEW; at least know the score howl! Lou “Frensi” Pcnnisi, the phil- osopher—engineer, has recently announced the results of painstaking mathematical and statistical research on the subject “How to Beat the Bookics on Fall Saturday After- noons.” He finds that the odds on an eight team parley are 364% to 1. This, however, has not administered the proper push to the tyre inspectors pecuniary status. It’s still in quo. ‘Wcll, time to send, the bibs out to the local Sam Wing, in preparation for next week’s gab feast. in the meantime, keep your eye out for those red and gray bids lettin’ you know all about how to make "your gal happy at the 'Wintcr informal. [ind don’t forget the applause for all the fu- ture Druses 8.: Barrymorcs who‘ll be strug- gling with the grease paint the night of the lldth. Bye, bye. THE SIXTH COLUMNKST DECEMBER 2, 1942111 WWW W mm... WW” Tflfl'lWfillM‘dFM/fifi’? .0 ”WWW ll Wis “fig Who“??? «norm/em mm « 9 By Toll van Golder and Charles I. Boll We start, of? in the popular department with a solid Gone Krupa number, “After You’ve Gone" (mach 6273). Roy Eldridge sends out. with trumpet that is really out oi this world. Companion is “Kick lit” with Anita O’Day giving out with the lyrics. . . . Woody Herman waxco “Miolr‘lou” (Decca 4024) with tho Maestro singing the vocal chm-1m. This exotic tunic will please all liar tenors. lliscmnio is “By TU By 0,” Muriel hnnc singing this Louio‘lzmo Lullaby. 'lilhe Band that, Playc tho Blues plays this with their own solid bout. Elmer’s 'Jl'lllllle, that melody monopolizing the air lanes at present is recorded by Bob Crosby (Decca 3929). He mates this with “Tl“llc Angola; Como Through" sung by Bob and the liloluouihiinks in a sweet swing style. . . . Bob hurko has a number that isn’t the newest but, still hits the spot. 0n “Cow-Cow Blues" (Victor 1326646) he beats the boogie out of the eighty eight to make even the ickies jump. Opposite this is “liliumboogic,” Evelyn Poo singing the refrain. This record has everything—«just listen to it. Tommy Dorsey gives us “Violets for your Furs” (Victor 27690) a burning torch song just made for Frank Sinatra’s smooth voice. Tommy/'3 super slide trombone stars all the way on the slow melting melody. “Some- body Loves Me” is the reverse and has the ’gatcs really swinging. Pied Pipers vocalize the lyrics here. We’ve all heard this adap- tion from this and that classical, especially the latest Y’schaiioowslcy Concerto Number One for piano and orchestra adapted for popular music. Well, ’1'. Dorsey will‘wax “I Think of You” for Victor adapted from Rachmaninofl’s 2nd Piano Concerto in C' Minor. Watch for it, on Victor 27701, Frank; Sinatra does the chorus. Tommy’s trom- bone is there in form, also. Coupling is “Who Can I Turn. To,“ Jo Stafl’ard, (m the vocal. Slow easy beat, Dorsey can’t lose with this one. Among Victor’s releases for December is the overpopular Qymplimiy in D Minor of Ccsar Franck which is given a top-notch performance by the San Francisco Sym» phony Orchestra conducted by Pierre Moln- tcux (Album M4340). Those who have had the pleasure of hearing Mi. Monlcim with the Chicago Syrinphony Orchestra at Ravin- in this summer or his recent recordings with the San Franc-loco Symphony will real- ize how capable a conductor he is. As an interpreter of French music he has no peer today. This symphony, Frauck's only, is today one of the three most popular symphonies. Like other great compositions, it was re- ceived with disdain for many years after its presentation in 1889. Its revolutionary use of the English horn, bass clarinet, tuba and corner needed the broader musical un- derstanding of a later generation to be fully appreciated. Another Romanticist great work is Vic- tor's new recording of Schumann’s Sym- phony NO. 4 in D Minor by the Imndfln Symphony Orchestra under Bruno Walter. This newest recording fills a needed place and will please all lovers of this dynamic composition (Album M837). Leopold Stokowski and the Philadelphia Orchestra combine to give a first recording of Glicre’s SymphOny N0. 3 in B Minor (Victor, Album M841). ~l‘his interesting work about a giant concerns the exploits of Ilia Mouromctz, legendary Russian hero. For those who are looking for a new mu- .sical experience this symphony will be well worth their attention. The, band for the HT WINTER KNFGR— MAL, Alvino Rey plays “The Skunk 50mg" told by Dick Morgan (Bluebird 341363). This is a novelty with lyrics and music that will please. “You are the Lyric” singing by Bill Scallcn seems out of place in reference to the first side of this record. {i‘his 53439 is soft and tender with a standout. of electric guitar by Alviho Eloy.