NOVEM BER 11, I941 WWW my Wil‘efil’llfl W MAY. “full. I can't stall here all night. trying to think of a beginning. Kooks Becks; after some of tho disparaging remarks I‘ve beam} around here lately, one or two of you ought. to go and soak your heads in a barrel of brine for a while. as :2: >5: :4: MOBEETY in front of a store in the city not long ago a man noticed a Sign which said, “Before you buy pants come in and look at, ours.” He entered, but was unable to find a sin- gle male clerk. so, being of the timid sort, he purchased a couple of necktien and walked out. ‘ ll‘ ’3 ii: 13! I..Ol‘raine: “I’m a Venus de Milo girl." Jack: “Yeah? What’s that?” Lorraine: “Hands off.” fir Sir i: 1&1 "Now that I 'm. getting fat and gray-haired, l have to do all the housework.” “Can’t your husband afiord. to have a maid come in?” “He can, but I can’t.” 1* 1h it if “Your ntoekinge-z are wrinklofi, {ho ho}? frimd said, And his hruifios now are many How was the poor young: hurl to know That she wasn‘t wearing :my‘? «3 m air a» Letter from College Stuclonl: “Dear Dad-— Guefil$ what I need mofih of oil, that? right. fiend it along? Be$t wighoh. Your flan, Frank.” Letter from Dad to Son: “Bear Frank~ NOLhing ever happens here. We kNOw you like your school. Write us aNGthor‘ lei; ter aNOn. Jimmy was asking allow: you Monday. NOW we have to gay goouhye." x: a: it Am ‘impudent. vixen ol’ Fla. Grew evon-y day more and more 15m. ’l‘lll her- mother will. "Go To tho place down below, Where it's on than August in Flu.” a: u a: :9: A school teacher was left alarm in {he house one might and complaluemi lo line police that she thought there were some prowlcrs about. “I’ve heard somebody around like lmuoe the last few nights,” she will. “Can you semi a policeman over to sleep in the oellor until the rest of the girls come home?” The chief bravely volunteered to do the work himself, so the young Lady gave him a key lo the collar and also one to her room to be used in case of necessity. “It’s rm. awfully dangerous job, though,” she warned the cop. “Suppose you’re shot by u burglar while you’re asleep in lhe col» lar?” “Lady,” replied the courageous holies— ’lllll’ll as he slipped the keys into his pocket, “if I’m. asleep in the cellar I ought to be shot.” o =l< * 8 AN ADVERTISER “Lost: a lead pennil by Jennio W’eomu, Eilomie, blue eyeo, five foot four inches, good dancer. Finder pleane call 43-282 he, iwm-n seven and eight p.111." 53 ‘3? ‘l‘ ’6: Alice (pouring out a drink for him); “Say when.” Ray: “Well, if it’s all the same to you, how about right after this drink.” >'.'- is 1% fie Sounds All Right to Us The dear vicar’s wife had just died, and in consequence he wished to be relieved of his duties for the week-end, so he sent the following message to his bishop: “I regret to inform you that my wife has jusL died, and I should be obliged if you would send me a substitute for the week- end.” =5: fl= 3? >l= The girl friend collects antiques, and re- cently she acquired a horsehair chair, whewupo'n she discovered irmnerl'iarely why grandma/her always more ., J‘ pellicoals. w- * at :34 Till the next lime, Hash!) in Vista. 0H MIN! TECHN OLQG‘H N EWS W Wm @ruolge Mufi A GODDESSEEE Helen ll. Momullo Now that. the rushingswson is. over, the sorority girls are contemplating pledging,- which will take. plnoe very soon . . . The Sigum Omicron Lanzhou zlorority has culminated its rushing activities at a dinner and theater party, which was held on Sat- urday evening, November 1. The girls en- joyed the musical Show, “Louisiana Put» chase,” and had dinner in the East room at DeMet’s. Four of the sorority alumni members, and graduates of the clam of ’41 of HT, were present, namely, Aldo lluii‘is, Ruth Sui-agile, June Gomez, and Lillian Snollgmos. J1me Goelot was engagefi to Mr. John fiulllvzm last Monday owning. Our beot wishes and heartient congratulations to you, Jane! Members of Kappa Phi Delta $0rfll'i§5' are ulozmoil to have in their mlfisl three now member-as; they are Ruth Body, llgnoos Grossmmx and Gloria “Emmott “Rhone gix'lu were plmlgoel into the. sommlty yesterday am! am.» now wearing; their newly i‘oooived plodgo pins. after the ceremony the plodgou revolved oomoges of the luminous“ Magma rm} roams. Sigma minim-on Lamhfla sorority will hold its forum] pledging at twelve o'clock today. The girls to be pledged are Maxie Smith, Fromm linow, Virginia Poohololll, “Viola Slovene, Chewy“ lioness, and Virginia Peter- 1-4011- Comhining luminous; with pleasure the Sigma Bow Thom sorority hem their for» mu] pledging on Sunday afternoon at the home of Virginia Lomharilo. Those pledged by the Sigmus were Mary Mum, Ann Mus. mar. Erotic i’mlc, fingolu Funcoui, Corina Lemon, (mimic. )uriis. Kathryn Wiolfioi", and {Jean Michelle; “‘l’l’ell, folks. that‘s all there in; more mm. anymore." See you next woollf Qihor Commons By Raymond W’. flatter Eu order to meet the demolition of lleiouso «location in Pennsylvania, l’onn Photo col- lege has; houuoql on mobile ohomlulm‘ lulroxw tm'y in u two {on truck. 'l‘hlo luhom‘llory will imvol E09080 miles to ill; comma whom high uchool graduates; are being lminod for (lofwmo jobs. :r :1: >3: :5: Tulane university has a scholarship for descendenls of Confederate soldiers, while Transylvania college, Leasing/loo, Ky, is on- muted by the Disciples of Christ. 315 >l: Ila ’3: Approximately 70,000 college mucients :his year hold scholarships valued at. more than $10,000,000. iii iii >3“ ’6: Three years ago a follow from Oregon made news by driving to “Mouton college in a model “T" Ford. Since then it’s been rest, ing behind his home because no one would inwi'e it. The other day someone oifered to insure her, and, happy day, the relic will again be seen on the streets of W’healon. x.»— :1: e 2: Yearly (wpflnseu at state—operated (so-odio- rational college in the Uniwti smog-s; are about $453, while the figure for private in- halation}; is $979. 2% =l< 2?- o The current football series between Ghio State and Northweswm had its beginning twenty-eight years ago when Northwestern traveled to Columbus, Ohio, to he beaten 58 to 0. * =i< >1: #1 Elizabeth Conrad, dean of women at Mich- igan Stale college, is urging patriotic coeds who wool leg appeal without “cheapem’ug themselves” by going barelegged to wear red, white, and blue cotton stockings dur- ing the defense made slllc hosiery shortage. a: ‘ - a; Nevada and Utah are the only states in which there are no living alumni of Emory university. a: :1: =9: ~k ’Ii‘lle olden-I. local l‘n'mm'nily in the onllve country is Kappa Phi Lamluia which was foumled at Weutminotor college, New Wil- mington, Pm in 18%. Robert. J. Crougau The. luhu‘l‘rulemity council mull loot Woll- iwmluy in tho Student Union: to some plans for the. luluIt'll-alimony Formal. Mick Taylor chairman of the dance. committee» reported that. Friday, January 30 would ho the flute of who 'l'mlvrnity men‘s big night and that the. «lance would probably be held in tho (loungir'ess Camiuo or the Gold Coast room. Dial: has not “melded on an orchestra us yet. fll‘he schedule for ping pong was made out, the. limit matches to be played by Nov- omlmr 28. Bowling scum-s are to be turnod in to Eltfiugor at. the Phi Kim house by mid. nilu, ”member 18. As. heretofore all how]- ing; M‘ONFS nuist. be. witnesxed by u momhor from another fraiomity. Now for some sidelights on some of the fraternity men about the Armour campus. Duk- Wilman (Pi Kup) it seems has been able lo convince the go] but not. himself. Keep trying Buddha. Northwestern‘u sororities Close for the night at 2 a. m., consequently the ”L” leav- ing Evanslon at 2:20 is overpopulated with Armour's frat-Clubbers. Last Saturday morn. ing anyone interested could see Pi Kan Hob doul'iu.“ln, Dolls Moore and Elwtrom, Phi Kaps Taylor and ‘Wmi. and several other ’l‘eehuwks: sleeping their way back to 33rd and the trucks. That walk over to Michigan from the “L” is a lot more pleasant. with plenty of company at that time of the morning. The Flu Kano were a bruised hunch of boy!» after ”Mr tough promo with Alpha Sig. The game was; enough to make mothers keep their boy; from playing so gentle: on game as louohball Triangle president pro tem John Wood has been taking women just a little too seri— ously of late. Watch it John. Alpha Sign; Roi» bc-i-I. Home); was one of the two men pledged into Eulmmmoor last. Friday at the FF’ES meeting. TIM-It. John Bourke had a bad wreck over the week end and ended up in a quack. hospital with costs all over him. After the pretty nurse signed her name and telephone number on the cost, John’s family doctor come over and told him to arise and walk. .lolm’x; only regret is: that in breaking off the (aunt he lost. the iolephune number. The friemlly tavern down at ills: and Michigan certainly gets its quota of fraternity men. The Pi ling»: (tame down to heckle Buddha and Warren, the Phi Elam walk over to play “Dix-(.y-lilighl," Triangle drops in to talk about women, Aloha Sh: staggers in for 7-111), and the Delis attend just for the fun of walking home and soronading the vari- ous houses with appropriate songs. Advice for today: Novw- trust your from!» nity brothor with your boot, girl, she might "'qu him, mo. Following up their recent activities, the “ill'dflliflns are holding o rushing smoker at the Glass room of the Groomer-e hotel this ll‘r'iday evening. Under the sponsorship of the W8 and action of Brother 'l‘ml Kiowa!» chi. a “symphonic hour” will be inaugurated at. l..ewis Friday afternoon, November 14. PAGE SEVEN ' r ' m- tomlmvw-‘N‘r u. x0 nfm MWMWWS By E. l’. Honumku and mm Millovillo NEWS OF THE WEEK: {Ilfho freshman- sophomorn (so-ops are going to have a wool:- mnl to top all woolwmfilu. 0n ‘lE‘x-idhy, Nov- I-mlwr M then-u will he dancing and roman- cing on :1 hay rido m; lilialloml stuhloo nonn- Lu Grange. Slum (llo‘llmrt, Phil flinch, Bill Smart. and John Gerald}! are all doing flnoir host. to Milieu the city Hickok-S out to the moonlight country alumosmlwro. Saturday, Nowunlmr l5. hrlngo tho mph aquatic hop, or in plain linglluh, a combin- ation Hula-oh pnrty and dance. Special foa- luros of this event. will he “Indian Ion)" Worningrlmuu in a lnuthiug unfit. mid lorry Golden’s girl, in a ruuuonable ifooo‘imilo. Preparations for this; shindig am, hofing handled by: Wurmm Decatur and! Phil lliuok, milieu; Eel Il‘rion‘moook, Burt Auden-non, no!) Auden-non, entertainment; Rom Gomo- i'on, l’ulul Williunmou, Roger Olson, 1-0951?lo- mouls; Jmnoo Vi“! Harm-n, ”(gamut-or; Eli/2m ’l‘ollwrl. publii-il‘y; uml Charles Mow'hotham, Niall-mun. In, the {SA-BA loucllball game, Ohgreu, 3A, mmposmlly broke his: thumb. Adameh was only too glad lo rush the victim to Mercy hos/plml (the lhoughl; of those beautiful hu 5'). The boys finally came back: after [mo hours, (moi how everybody is wonder- ing why a half hour trip lakes so long. Soon all the high school girls will be breathing huge sighs; as the photogenic face of “Clark” Kamiou, 5A, flashes on the screon. Bill's only objection to working in theme. high school educational films is that no leading ladies are involved. A class for confused bridge players meets {our mornings; a week in the phyoico draw- ing room. H. U. “My" Jolnuoon, 3A,, presides and advises on the finer points of fineuulng. Incidentally, a minor objective of this course is; the design of u hoist .luul tell l’oul l’owoll, fill, that moldomakw ing in i smut); than stand by for the explo- Hum. After making one sand mold fifteen times, Paul threw the whole works on the floor and yelled, “This“. damn mold will keep me from graduating yet” A f ler absorbing that terrlblo booting from 5A louchball loom, lf'rlu‘l’e 'W’lllehihdt, 3A, unnamed, “Waldorf and I certainly get the tough breaks.” "With football 01? his mind, since his team is out of the tournament, Khule ii loo/slug over prospects for the 1942 basketball tournament. Vie Mllowoki, minim- oo-op, has} fully iro- oovnred From his acclilont at a venom, party thrown by Bill Bohoo for Roy Erlclwon, nvwly wed. The. story goon like thin; after a low thirst quonolmrs Vic was oloutod on the hood by a vicious little baby carriage whirl; jumped oil" the floor, hi6: Vic, and then ran away before: tho victim come too. mm no?“ ‘ his. Have you hoard! about the nine fresh who took a taxi for 75 cents from Armour to Art lustituto? No, really, ‘it’s the straight goodfl. Next lining you know the SOphS will charter an outling bus. 0r seven seniors will pull up in a sllolon Studebaker. 0r “Soap-Box" Lane in a Russian light tank. Anything: can hap- pen, with one exception. The junior-s will new-i- war by in Randall's ruttlotrap. At. the time of this writing the Eadie Hawkins Melee. is still on its way. You’re a lucky dog. Critic, you sit on your stool reading this and the brawl is over and you can call us poor prophets for the guesses we’re about to make: 1. Minion will get stuccoed like wattle and daub. 2, The freshmen will decide the seniors are nuts. The freshmen will be right. . Little Abner will not be present. He will be resting at home after a hard Saturdays work in the Comic sm'tion. Maury Uhilo and Hugh Goodman Hiory will make a handsome twosome. MaicAi-lhm' will carry a baseball bat to stave off women. nag"? v a 7. Hmulmrl and Farrell will get stuck with their dates. National ain’t ration- al, boys. 8. The Arx will make enough noise to break the lease when the tenants below complain. The frosh came through. with news lately. l«"rinstance, item: if you have a tummy-ache, see Giusugon and l0 ~4mcm-o. They know all about, the ballet. (Editor’s note: item: Dada.) On this mosL auspicious occasion (it says here) we‘re going to give the ax to lads who thought they slipped stuff by our col- umn. Nobody does. We reminisce: Rotation getting a haircut, and Miss Lam telling the juniors what a bunch of sheep they are (“Down with the lunchroom”) and Daly's fruit store, and Burloigh and Randall mutu~ ally omputating nocktles, and Stem wearing his fireman suit. Recr‘iminations are afloat in the junior clam. Pearson says: Piphvr’s new shoes give him flying feel. Piphez' says EJilIihi-idgo looks like a bunny rabbit. Lillibridge Claims Pearson looks unhealthy. We’ll ax you another next week. ANN Elliiillfii‘ifll). ‘%_....-.o.. .