PAGE SIX
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WfiWH‘WWW Ff?
Boy am I burning upZ! Am I bubbling over
with excess indignation! How “Morgue"
Fitch could sit behind a typewriter with his
bare face hanging out, and so distort the
facts on that FEATURE STAFF-sports
stall" touchball game m; to leave an impres-
sion of a sports staff victory is beyond any
reasonable conception! Obviously such a
person must be completely devoid of any
conscience or even a reasonable decorum
facsimile of the some, and futhermoro, must
ho a blood relation of Benedict firm/old!
And now that I‘ve got that all my ("host let
me give the REAL score of the contosiw
FEATURE STAFF 15, sports Mall on
It 11‘ 1'5 a:

FLASH: “Kitty" K008 has been offered a
job by the ‘personnel’ director of the Rialto
(Chicago’s legitimate theater) at a startling;
salary! “Kitty” 2's to replace Charmaigne as
the feature attraction—and also 3811 peanuts,
candy, and what have you when he’s not per-
forming.

9a 1? 1i 5?

The latest addition to the “E Got It. Bad
Club" is Johnnie (Donor, the "Slinging Sam.
my" of the soph mechs. Every evening at
5:30 pm. Johnny’s carcass: can be Seen
hanging over the phone in iho registrar's
office talking to his; lady love?! As a manor
of fact this incident occurs; as regularly as
the transit of Arcturus across our meridian.

(Attention Prof Perm w ouch knowledge
should merit an ”A.")
w. it my a:

Every time you hear the jr. macho talk
about the study session they‘re 10 hold “lo
night” you can bet your boots; that a great
deal will be accomplished. The ‘hoyo’ hold
these meetings at: Midge Golusim‘s place,
whose dad owns a liquid refreshment parlor.
If we know the mcchx, Mr. loiuoizn 8r.
doean't have much trouble making our his
income tax form because the lHflCilS drink
like fishmwhen it’s lreei?

* ii: 3% fl;

Thore’ll be no more singing “Gloria" for
the or. civils now that. Jackie Jocklmio:
has, traded in his; Gloria for he!“ 3;? “it girl-
friomlwllorraine. If dimer behavior is. an
indication of the. presence of Mr. how. Bing,
Jackie’s. in like a bunny immune hc‘s been.
cutting out, paper domes in all his clamor,
and how been observed going: flimngh cmdlr»
ling motions in tho tempo of i’roi. W’him‘fi
masonry lecture!

Bob Neuhouo, Honor “I" pledge from the
ranks of the bucketeers, is on {he Mada".
list with the actives of this group. Last
weekend Bob went out of town and Milne
Corey hearing of his intentions to do 50,
demanded, as a pledge requirement, that
Bob hand over to him his gal’s phone num-
ber! Pledge Bob refused, thereby showing
his lack of brotherly cooperation, and now
his initiation into this select group seems
rather doubtful. And Mike would have mi;
en good care of the young lady, tooii

We understand that Bob Funk hag found
a greater interest than his studies. This in»
leresl takes the formu—cute, toowof his gal,
Pat Carter, nifty popularity queen of the
West Aurora. high school. It seems that Bob
cut thermo and strength and ditched his fel»
low teammates during an important touch
ball game to watch his heart—13inch lead CE
parade, as drum majorette, down the main
streets of Aurora. In a way we don’t blame
him, for, after all, watching a pair of shorts
walking down the street is much better than
listening to Seegm'st’s spiel on a subject as
interesting as thermo.

If the sages are right, and variety is the
spice of life, Prof. Krathwkohl is really hav-
ing a helluva time living. 0f the twenty-0mg
solutions to a problem concerning “pres-
sures on a parabolic dam" presented by his
cake class, there were nineteen flifierent
answers ranging from 7 to 5000! 0:10 of
the students, as he left the quiz room, was
heard exclaiming, “Boy, that damn problem
was tough?” For the benefit, of you scholars
the correct answer to this teaser was 173.
((Kmthwohl insisis that this particular
quiz was one of the snappicr of his patented
snap quizzes!)

 

SGOPER SNOOPEBS.

 

by Art Iiiinwogcn

HERE’S YOUR CHANCE CH'UMS, THIS
IS GOING TO BE YOER COLUMN S0
COME ON AND NdME ET. OF COURSE.
WE‘RE NOT OFFERING $10,000 FOR A
N AME LIKE THE NE‘W NEW’SPAPER IS
DOING, BUT WE ARE OFFERING A
(‘OUPLE OF TICKETS TO THE CHECAGO
THEATER FOR ANY EVENENG, ANY
DAY. YOU CAN‘T LET all OFPORT’UNI—
'l‘Y LIKE THIS SLIP THROUG YOUR FIN-
GERS SO STAR-T CGQKING ONE UP
PJGHT NOW. THE DEADLINE is Go-
ING TO BE XVEDNEfiiN‘iY, JOVEMBER.
19.

To help you a little bit I’ll give you the
idea of the column. it’s going to be made
up of contributions (we hope). These con~
trips will concern little known facts, odds
’n ends, that everyone would be interested
in learning. To make it. still easier, I’ll slip
in a few of my own to get the ball-rollin . . .

Standard equipment of modern U. S. bat-
xlcxhipx includes 100 typewriters.

“Galloping “ominous"

There seems to have been no period of
history and no nation in which some form
of dice has not been used. They are pie-
lured on early Egyptian monuments. Those
excavated at Thebes are almost identical
with the ones in use today. Their use is at—
tested by laws regulating the games played
with them in ancient Greece and Home as
well as in most, of the inter European
countries. The invenlion of dice it: attrib-
ulod to Palunwdes, who lived about 1244
B.C., but. the use of cubes with numbered
sides is slightly older.

Lrounrdo (in Vinri, who produced many
of the most. famous paimhigs in iho world,
wus loiohandod.

A major rubber company has developed
a powder to eliminate all sonic from auto
mobile radios. Ono leospooniul blown into
each inner tube in Said to he ouihcient.

it is a little known loot. film: tho United
midi-n narrowly mloood coming into the
ownomhip of the areal Lulu:- iioporior iron
ore ranger; one of our rirhcot natural re-
sources.

More (huh 1730 million toms of are have
horn lulu-n from those ranges; 5mm they
were oponed in 1M8-85 por com oi all that
in produced in Amerira. They are the basis

 

 

 

oi' our industrial development.

In the Handbook of the Lake Superior
iron Ore association, the statement is made
than, the astutenoss and i‘m‘sight of Benja-
min [Maiihilnmplus good luchmwore in
large reoponoihlo for n northern boundary
lino that. put the Upper li’eninouln of Michi~
gun in tho United States instead of in Can-
ada. Franklin also helped :0 got northeasi;
Minnouotn for the U. 133.

As one of the commissioners appointed
to draft the Treaty of Paris in 1793, Frank-
lin, working with inaccurate maps, pro-
poued boundary lines that “happenod” to
include the vicheal of tho ore fields. ’Ehooo
tentative boundaries were fixod definitely
‘in the; 'chster-Ashhurton treaty of 11842.

What, the histories of Canada and the
United States might, have been if thoso
fabulous iron ore diotricls had been tho
pol-shession of our northern neighbor would
be ll strange emitomplniion. The debt which
this» notion owes to Franklin seems; to
grow with the years.

The longest stretch of straight railway
track in the US. is on the Seaboard Railway
between Wilmington and Hamlet, N.C., a
distance of seventy-nine miles

“k =1: >1! li:

YOU CAN 11" YOU WILL

(in. 800~pouml sleel bar, eight feet long,
woe- suspended by a chain, and a small cork.
at. the end of a string was swung lightly
against the bar. At first it seemed to have
no (affect, but. after ten minutes of tapping,
the great hm“ began to tremble, and at the
(and of twenty minutes, it was swinging like
[he pcndlum of a great clock.

Cheddar cheese was: named for the village
of Cheddar, England, but today more Ched-
dar cheese is made in Wisconsin than ever
was made in all of England.

’l‘he swastika align wood by the Nazis is
probably the moot ancient. and widely dish
n-ihulcd symbol that. has; ever existed. it
wm-x used by the early Egyptian artisono in
their donnestic architecture, furniture, fab»
rim, pottery, armor, weapozm, and dashed
mommw-mo. It was. also used in ancient
Groove, ll‘roy, Persia, India (where Budd‘lots
still lie-lo it no :1 religious oymhol), and in
China, Japan, and in North, Central, and
f-louth America by tho American Indian.
lit was a symbol of the Mimi's strength and
mun-15y, than, a reminder of immortality,
and was used as a talisman of good luck.

 

 

W/ho floor

g?

 

 

By Richard 11:. Noll

Soncr Kraut, alias; “Liberty cabbage,"
"World ‘War No. l (alias; “Four Freedoms"
robbing‘, ‘World “law No. 2?) in a moot iii-v
investing variety oi“ “pot luck.” it is; to the
vegetable kingdom what soil. pork is to
the meal kingdom, and Kraut and pork
make a very good “ersatz” of powerhouse
meal: and French fried powwow.

BPE‘EHISQ of its name and origin, it may
won be against the law to use the salty
sluii‘. but it has always hem slightly on
Ihe “unconstitutional” side due to its na-
ture and chemical properties. But it ab-
solutely cannot do anything that a gallon
a warm milk chocolate won’t fix, and
during these times of national defense it
does help conserve the mineral oils.

Now there is an old old, tale told about
the first sour kraut. The event took place
over a thousand years ago, and I was a
bit {.00 young then to get in on the fun, so
l‘ll have to tell you the story rather sec-
ond handily, for it was first told by my K
great grandfather (K217 greats). The
story is that a long, long, time ago the
Teutons were at war with the Croats, and
that. one day a Croat runner rushed into one
of the villages some distance from where
the fighting was taking place with the
cry, “Danger, danger, enemy near? Evacu-
ate at once” Burn or destroy all that you
cannot take with you.”

The people, who had been expecting
something like this for sometime, were well
prepared lo carry out these orders. Every—
one had his task to perform. The men
wrecked the buildings and burned all extra
grain. The women and Children gathered
the belongings of the family together with
all the food they could pack on the beasts.

Then all stood by awaiting further orders.

Huddeniy, one of the, inspectors noticed
that. n large cabbage patch had not. been
destroyed. He ordered one of the men to
root up the heads, to cut them up into fine
pieces, and to salt them far beyond the
usual amount. so as to render them useless
as food. These orders were carried out and
the deputy, thinking that he could improve
upon the command, hid the salt cabbage in
a big vat, and placed a heavy grindstone
on top of the pile. The tribe then departed,
having completed, as they thought, a very
good “scorched earth” plan.

it took the 'i‘outono several days to reach
this city. They had met with Stiff opposi.
tion all along the way, and their supplies
had run very low. Needless to say, they ex-
pected to find food at the village, and when
they discovered that everything was gone,
their hunger got the best of them, and they
broke up their unit into small groups, so
that a search for food might be undertaken.

in some way or other, one of the search-
ing; parties; discovered the cabbage dump
and reportedit to headquarters. The general
in charge, ordered his cooks to go out and
prepare it for the men regardless of its
condition.

’ll‘hot night the first saver krau't banquet
was. hold, and since then it has become a
staple article throughout the civilized
world. It is a mighty fine treat alone, but
with spare ribs, rye bread, and beer, it be-
comes a positive joy to the palate.

We cannot thank Germany for producing
Hillier, but we must grant her a vote of
praise for developing the great national
dish of sailor kmut and introducing ii to
dim: world.

NOVENEBER M, 1941
max m

m MWMWJV
W».

 

 

i’ .11 liiohricpf

Shades of rod, white, and him-.1! Today’s
the day we doll our ohapeoux and blossom
out with an real kholci [complex i'm- the boys
who left the home fires burning a few years;
back. So lot, no poke up iho omoldorlng eniu
bers a hit, and give om; with a halo mud
hourly farewell to

“Ace" Per-kins, who left. us in a blaze of
glory last, Wednesday. Kissjn’ the boy goom~
bye were all the Lewis Lovlios. Time to boot.
grandma out of that rocking chair what.
gets you, girls, and click merrily on to the
tune of knit, one, pearl two, and turn out;
some unique linings for those size 101/2 dog-
liomzes. When you’re makin’ like Smilin’
Jack over Lewis, Ace, don’t forget to drop
us a courtsy.

If you want to know just. what makes
the wheels g0 ’rouud, and then come off, ask
Eileen “Mike” Rolllmon. The cruisin’ Chryo.
ler ended up a definitely lopsided limousine,
with the passing of the third wheel back.
What with no bike, "more a hike for Mike.

Hickory Dickozr'y Dock,

The shoes are on the clock.

“You know what I think,”

Said the clock with a wink,

“Conlidentially, they . . .
hear a strong resemblance to the size six:
Butch Muslim- used to shuffle around in.
In case you haven’t. noted the lalest lot-din~
storm in interior decorating, the next time
you’re listening for that next tone heat.
just check it with the clock, in roof 313.

A great big “Hiya Stinky" to Dick John—
son, who booked return passage from a
bunch of peoky flu germs. How does it feel
to set foot on terra l’orma again, Stinky?

Drift Higgins)

'l‘om lulu»; settin’ the world on fire
again, at the drift. This Amorous Arsoniot,
a traitor to the ranks of the Boy Scouts:
with that match, burned the dainty digit of
girl friend Connie while lighting up the cigu
metre what satisfies. Newoome Twosome
very much in evidence were Bill limo/m and
h‘ltmol Mosmi, two of the more steady cus—
Lomors in the two up and one back depart-
ment. The music went ’round and 'round,
and so did liowlo holster, he of the one, long
sleepy pan, kicking up his heels; and pirouet-
ting about most energetically with not one,
but all of the commemoration of coneds. The
E.l).'i‘.’u were rhythmically represented by
Jim Uimino and Dom llruschi, givin’ the
gals a break. “Ace” l’erliino 'waltzing for old
time’s Hake with iiiylvia Wc‘iolo. Crewsin’
around with hair standing on end was our
boy Dick Borneo. And then there were fu-
gitives from a barber shop like Samson . . .
but Dick did right well for himself sans
two inches of topnot. We wish to thank the
powers that; be from the bottom of our
record player for that sonorous loud speak-
er attachment.

The latest, to be caught in the draft is
Hid Grconherg', who really goes in for that
Southern Exposure in a big Way. SJ}. is our
hot. for the original kid in the three-cameo
ed tear. Simply ripping, wotl?

Ann Mossner's chief cohort in keeping up
in this Vitamin Voolishment is the fruit
peddler on Madioon St. The Daily Dona-
tions consist of apples and oranges in ad
sorted sizes and shapes. Another Health-
ful Hannah on the way!!

“The Hills of Home” definitely erupted,
and with a loud crash in Glue club the 0th»
or day, when Mary Ann Muir-sch bore down
upon the pedals with a vehemonce that
really laid them out . . . on the floor. That’s
music that’s really lowdown, Mary Annll Or
is that what you term knockin ’em out!!!

Jack Chalmian, the original “thumb fun
kid," did a fairly good job at practice by
demolishing a digit with the inauguration
of that 336547 yipe play last. Wednesday.
How are you going on Solve those complim
outed math problems Jack?

Giving that Liberty Gal a run for her
money is Lorraine. Richtik who’s carrying
a mighty big torch. (Attention, Ed. It’s
still burning and so is Lorraine!) Honey, I
can fairly see the glow from here!

Seen apple polishing around these prem-
ises was Al Reynolds, who, according to him,
was going to take it to his night school
teacher.

Well, this winds up the week’s tired. busi-
ness man’s session, so until it’s called to
order next week, just ren1ember—circum~
stances over which we have no control,
make this column possible—or impossible!

TREE SEXTH CGLIUMNEST

 

 

 

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