fill-DEER: 21, 1941 h‘l DO‘WN “UTE THE BLITZKREIG!!! FLASHE! Great ouiiloorsman breaks x'ccoml for length of time elapsed botwccn the mo- ment; that the triggcr is; pulled nail the limo of discharge of a .22 Colt revolver! “Huck; John“ fichommcr, noted hack- womlsman of Vilaa county and cpoficzuafl of national renown, commpllsllca this fact when he attempted to cull the first half cl Bears-Cards football game a wool; ago. lit wasn’t till about 10 minutes after tho liolll had officially omlcd that “Uncle? finally gm: the desireo recall. When incorvlcwezl by the All? he cxnla'incfi that due to a. falling of tho firing mechanism the gun wouldn’t, go off-«- in other womls, lac forgot; to rcieaoe filo safelyl! BOYCOT’E THE BLETZKREIGEI! Besides getting the oioils out of classes for a couple of days, the ASCE convention gave- scnio’rs Teddy can Gcldcr and “Hap” Nowell a. setting for a deed that both of them have been contemplating for quite some limo. Both of these lads used the Wednesday nile dinner dance as the ac. cosion for announcing their respective on, gagements and revealed plans for curly “hookings!” 30le THE DRAXN Wl’l‘ll, 'l‘llll} filK’l’l’l COIMMNE‘EWZ! Bootor Robert; E. Arm), otlllrcociug a grow; of mono: the national convection of the American Association of Rotgul filo tillers, electrified the group will: his start— ling disclosures on the relallonship of clump booze and sport activities. The moot slgul» ficant statement of his entire ulsocrlcllonc came when he said, “Golfing and comm, don’t mlxll’ As evidence for cuppm‘l of lilo argument he submitted the following: a bill from Ziltch’s Pub for $55.30 clzl‘lccl goal. Oct. 18, and a golf score card chowlug u grand total of 208 whlfls for 18‘ holes; slcacll Oct. 19!! {lanolusivcmion’t it? (flay that. loot sentence like Jerry Coloml would my 3M LYNCH THE SlXTlrl COLBMHISTW Remember those rccl rooms; the Simon: body was to have in the Studcnl Unioizm with soft cots, soft lights, and so)”: music, where one could go to relax between lilo ordeal of classes? They’re here, but Mm. Orcutt is using them to study the cficci of an engineering education on the slmlcni mind. Maybe she’ll find out whol’s wrong with the “Mod” civils. GBLITERATE THE BLI'SWLKREEGE: Rumor has it that a plot is; afoot to im- prove “Kola” Memmon's breathing by tho removal of the superfluous lxcbblagc or; bill upper lip. It seems a pity that somehociy should play around with cool: small fry when Bernie Ellis and Jorma llmsldncn are carrying growths on their heads which would make Leo the Lion look like a cuc- ball. This could certainly be an excellcm idea because we feel that nobody wants to see these two become stoop shouldered from carrying useless weights on their headc. WE’LL momma DA BUMSHH “.l'csoc James” Fox of the book Show: me quests sludcuts not, to become impaiicm. Those who have cram-ell books will be sure ‘ to get them before lilac new bulltlings go up. HANG ’EM FRGM’. A SKY H001“ At this time your editor feels it proper and correct to request that an electric score board be provided for all future touchlmall games. Even an engineer shouldn’t be ex- pected m count up to 52 without the aid of some mechanical device! WHERE IS THE FEF'E‘H WLUMNKST??? Honest, they were human! Those “111% touchables” who were roaming the Armour campus last Friday, frightening students, horrifying instructors, and shocking profes- sors were merely the Rho Dell pledges Novella, Wittenherg, Grecnbcrg, Riff, and Koluzna. ANSW’ER NEXT WEEK” . , . Ami now, since the guy that owns this joint wants to go home, wc’ll say aclicu. .. SOGPER SN‘DGPERS. at» was ill/ell, my two-visor ohcckcrcfi cap loot came back from the cleaners, aml lifvo given my magnifying glut-2:3 a good (loco of wlm dcx ‘ . . the boiler to view your subversive activities, my dean‘s! So how; wc launch forth again will: a merry licovc Ho and a Yipc for good old 5505mm! There is one lucky fellow at least among these mortals, he being Bill lfi‘ox who has the audacity to pentra‘ce “sorority row” by being inadvertently assigned to a locker which also hold the cosmetics, etc, of Mary Linkc, the freshic lass with the twinkling dimples. We wonder if those dances Mary practices Sitting in German class are for Bill’s benefit. Tho Super Scoop of filo wool: lmclmlos Dave Keswr and the Old Gray Mare, Run- ning still competition with the Lone Rau- gcr, our hero, with a dig of the spurs, lit out after a runaway. The Old {Stray More’s doing okay, but our boy Davo just ain’t what he uced to be after that forced land- ing sans parachutcll llfiFE REVS-UPS Here’s a chcwsy bit; of ucwc—«lfi‘locoucc llm'mscll‘s recent “How to filmy Slim and Love lt” dict includes a double serving of Wx'iglcy“s Blue Plate Special . . . Double Bubble gum topped off with Fan Tan, sup- plied by “Pledge!" Tandmp, Super Service, line. This weck’s bunch of pom‘poms goes to Belly Kennedy for her makin’ like Helpful Hannah down in the telephone ofllco, and lending the helpful hand to the frantic lemmas trying to locate their wondering boys; at Armour. Got; their numbers, llcily? Marilyn Johlol- and lliclc “Bllrllay” Johny con crediting thcmcclvcc will": one more RULE 11 HULK: 2: ing do next number?” RULE 3: guy next to you to hold in for you. RULE ll: back. RULE 5. RULE ll: Mag, while I go and lick up a lnccr.” RULE '7: during any one dance. lllJLE 8: for not klckin your foot cube: dc way. RULE 9: RELE 10: RULE 11: an apology. RULE 12: RULE 13: RULE 14: (le ballroom floor. RULE 15: be clean too. RULE 16: and skoits not up on this matter. TECHNOLGGY NE‘WS ammo». m . llillllmllln El‘ljlllllillii By ll. G». HUNTEMGHOUSE Chicago, lll. Those observations were mcdc by R. G. Huntinghousc, while touring some 0] the loci-(lance halls, whom lilolicc cm “Loidys,” or “ck-oils,” and gentlemen are “guys." Skoito should alwayu dance dc {Gist number wld do guy wot. brung her. In asking a loldy Lo (lance will you, you stand in front of her. Place your right hand over your heart, making a flight bow and may: “‘Wll] you rasscl wxd me dur— It is not good, form to (lance wirl your lid on. Stick it under dc table, or ask do A gent will never blow smokc imo a goil’s face. He should blow But it is; very bad ctiquctlc for a guy to boin a skall’s back wid his ciggy. ll a guy wants to go gel 2: think he should excuse himself thusly: “Scusle me It is not correct; ctiqucfic either lo step on a goil’o feel more than twelve times If a guy docs step on her feel he should excuse himself by saying: ”Sauce me Strangle holds and hitting in do clinches are barred at dc better joints. In do correct position dc guy trowc hic rlglit arm around his skolt and grabs her right hand in his left, while dc Skoit locks; his clutch by twisting herself around do guy, looking up in his eyes, and hoping dc best man wins. In asking for a dance Wicl your pal’s skolt you simply say to him, “Will you per- mit me to creep do next number wid your louse? A gent will never kick a ckoli in (le shins when dancing wld her widout offering Whenever 2'1 skolt says “Gee broader, youse sure can twist cm, and how you can crawl dem slow ones” it is correct etiquette for do hold to acknowledge de com- pliment by saying: “Tank you loidy for dem very kind welds." Now don’t forget your manners. When you get tru dancin’ wld dc skoit, and be sure to say “Tanks for dc dance” and do skoit says “Okcy Doke.” It is OK. for ole skoit to bust dc guy on de smoot if he gets too fresh Wid her on At High Class Dumps men are no: permitted to dance Wid out a shirt unless he is clean. He should take a both before going: to the dance. His hands should If a bloke asks a Skoit for a dance and she does not care to dance with him she should excuse herself by saying, “Tanks buddy, I ain’t dancin dis one.” If he then gets fresh the skoit should kick him in de slats. NOTE: Dese pointers on ballroom and social etiquette should help all de guys Mummy Imam. . _ r i c g, year to the good on the books last Saturday. Happy birthday, chilluull Tho Gamma film's pledges are about to make their debuts in those captivating cha- peau they are wont to sport about in" namely, and to wit: Elnora Thomas, [loam Kanpur, Emil “Pretty Boy" l’ucci, Bob Tam (ll-up, .loc Dalton, and Chuck Mal-nor. As. sumo the angle, slrsll I—Iurpooning an unsuspecting jug; of elder on the Sigma hay ride was Emile Mick, {film or which feat he got in his daily dozen and a half chasing the wagon. Our bid for the best bet of the track tcam goes to you, Ernien Illout: One mocassln, size to fit Art Poll/01'- ino. How they do mess our nursery tales these claysl! Wlno’o Who for the Sigma Dance: llowlo Rciuormlfillulnc Salmon Gus 'Wlm—{Eilcon Robinson Slow Mtent‘lali-u-u‘ii‘lorcwacc Rational; Boll McycrmAlda liairlu llwl Carlsonwillclou (lm‘clou lmlclluilcmConnle (lolly ll‘l‘cd‘Roll—«Vi Kl‘uklcll Boll Roslcmllcmy lfioumcuy Adam llalspcrwlll‘ary Linko Martin Gomlouwwlxmlo»you—tlniulg Rom Zuardwm-Gmclo Tagllcrl SCOOP: The ”’3 do it up right, again! Octo- ber 31 the day, tlll'EQ to five the time, and the first drift of the year the event! So clean up your saddle shoes, girls, and tuck in your toes, boys, and dance to the world’s top notch baton weavers. Well, time to close up chop, now, and hang out my Sign, “Sec You New, Tuesday" THE lilX'l‘lll CODUMNIWI.‘ it, down her PAGE SEW wma-flmwi m cm MmWWWWWWWMWMWWWWMW WWW» Ely Gum-loo ll. Ball Kenneth Wolf, 10~year old boy from (Eleven land, has just entered Western Reserve unl- vct‘slty as a special student in chemistry. He passed the regular entrance examination even though he never attended any school or received any private: tutoring. ‘ is 41 we in Students at, Hunter college, New York City women’s college, voluntarily drop out of school when they fall to make minimum scholarship standing. m w: v m It appears that farming is a hazardous oocumtion, because a safety conference for farmers was recently held at the University of Minnesota. - m n: m a: , illlllc your’o collogo and univomity stu- (Milllfi are on ostimlwoll 1.4%,000 in number. c in w v - .lmnoc 8wooncy, llloululmul some lunllflluoln who th‘lo summol' wotrlcml as a 5mm ll‘igll- ‘wuy officer, luul film soillctlo‘ opportunity u» give a “ticket.” to Prof. Chaulcc Gunningu lmm who lmil given him a ll in journalism last year. Elli, you, llwcomay luul compllctml all lulu required! llngllulu coumoo. o a: l‘ m The state of Florida operates; a training; School for hotel atom; with an onrollment of 250. Theme students take turns serving each other throughout four to ten week courucs at a Miami hotel during the 011% season. i« m o :9: At tlxo Umlvcrsity of flows about 60% «of the ammonia work flhclr way through cclxool, and they avcmgo hollow glwlcc than their clusumatco who (lo not work. x: xi: so u Ohio State University has a cooperative dormitory called thc_Towcr Club located under the seats of their stadium. 2?: $1 r11 )9: Mills Jo Chapman, blomlo bounty of Mora tin college, Tenncccco, lo the only feminine college basketball coach in the country. ill 71: 15‘ m A. zealous lover was: a Crcghion universi- ty student who pcdolcd his bike 180 miles to Wisconsin, Nebraska, to sea his heart- lhrob. W 4: 2:: o Last semesster the authorities at San Jose State college turned down an offer of a man named Gus to Sell hot dogs on percentage at their senior prom. ' lit W xi: 13 After the president cl" Mount Holyolic college urged! the wells to stop taking llama and showers became of a water shortage near the school, the cilitors of tho nearby “Harvard Crimson” telegraphed! tho cm (lcm: council of tho girls” school ollcrlng to share their showers since “they are big enough for two." Fox" some rczwon film girls (lid not accept the) Harvard boys’ goucmwc invitation. it c x: 4: Campus boners: Trigonometry lo whom a lady marries three men at one time. A litre is a nest of young puppies . . . Ni- trogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state. . . . A circle is a round line with no kinks in it, joined. up so as not to Show where it began. . . . [l con— $113 taker is a man who goes loom house to house incrcasing tho population. c o 2: 4: Early in January every year the Univer- sity of Denver celebrates on Adam Ema Eve Day—the chancellor presents an apple to each student.