PAGE SEX W TECHNOLOGY NE‘WS flflli‘illlilllilllt Ml, Midi mm =~ , V ‘S'© "’W‘ ” rem ll: .- g'g‘lf WEW% ll'l' MAW”. The weeks are rolling by and, the home» work is piling up. From here it looks like this pocketful of Shekels better pick up some books. It’s about now the fresltmon’s hair begins to turn gray. (chuckle) l! r}! it 1e QUICK THINKENG A steward on a ship was asked how he liked his Work and he replied, “Fine,” that the tips were very generous, but that be nearly lost his job on the last trip. It seems that there were several days of rough weather and in taking a bowl of hot soup to a stateroom he unfortunately lost his balance, trippezl and poured the contents of the bowl into the lap of an old gentleman asleep in a declt chair. ”And just what did you do?” “I tapped the old fellow on the shoultler and said, ‘I do hope you feel better now, sir’." e tit it: 18‘ “l have my husband eating right out of my hand.” “That must save a lot of dishweelling.“ o c a a: Visitor (at an asylum): “Do you have to keep the women inmates separated from the men?" Attendant: “Sure! The people here ain’t as: crazy as you think.” It i): it ’3 A news item says that statisticians iiml nine out of ten women are lmoclolmeell. And for years we’ve been thinking that statisticians never had any fun! ’% ill 1‘; 2e Talmmilto May We fun to be u vagrant breeze (tutti blow about the lattice? knees; Though many Emcee, Without a doubt, Arc nothing much to blow about, ll! tic it: '4‘ Mother (entering room unexvecteclly): "Why, I never . . . ” Daughter: "0h, mother, you mutt have!” =l< or "it :1! Harold had taken his girl to lunch. file they out down she spoke to a raise lookiog man at the next table. “ls that man a friend oi your-e?” suited Harold. “Yes," she replied. “Well, why don’t you ask him to jolt: v.53" “0h, Harold, this is so sudden,” owed the girl. “What’s so sudden?” “Why—~why~—he’e our minister.” 931 1%! 49: You know there’s a lot of wiseguys who say that nothing is impossible. Etude been womlert’u’ if they ever tried to wear o pair of skis through a revolving door. is Xi: W 3'5 Can anybody say that the modem girl has no visible means of support. :2: e e 5t The department of taxation received a typed income tax return from a bachelor who listed one dependent son. The exemio» er returned the blank with a penciled no. lotion: “This must be a stenographic error.” Presently, came back the blank with an added pencil notation: “You’re telling me.” ii! v7: 2:; it “Hey! You left something behind you.” "What?“ “Your footprints!” “I don’t want them, they’re dirty.” ’3 as: re #1! A ministcr forum} it necessary to help out his meager Salary by doing odd trucking jolts. So he bought a secondhand truck. Next «lay he returned it. “‘Whot’s the matter, can‘t you run it?“ asked the dealer. “Net and stay in the minietry." l: e e is: When I walked in on my girl, she blushed all over. Do you mean to say you could tell that? Sure. That’s why she blushed. That’s that, but just remember that a. speech should be like a woman’s skirt—m long enough, to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting. 0H MEN! "he Steam Shoveler . . . a true exempli- flcation of supreme egotism. His intimation that them" meager morsels of monotonous moonlit-rings are the result ot “sooner" snooping, and are cleservaut of a copyright, is indeed a very insipid innuendo. Also, “my we suggest that the “Sayer Snooper” per- haps retrieve his geograyhy, eupposcdly utilized in the secondary schools and 0h— eervo the simple fact that if we were to push his face through the substrate: of this sphere, it woulll emerge eubmcrgcd in the lmlizm Ocean. Guess mitigate this luck of observation concerning the most clemen— tary of facts is enough midi Orchids to Mosaic—she too, has joined the ranks of the 21 club and received her mem—' bership card October 5 While the D’s take the cake, again, at the li’l gei's celebration. Watch that V diet, boys! Pres-riding over the calorie capers in the cafeteria are those captivating meals in white, the home (ac—ere. Quit bringing your own cheese sandwiches, you engineers and EDT’S. Hem-tit and Flowers edema Becker’s man threw a mean rock zit her three weeks ago . . . a diamond, at that! Marilyn Junior missed it by one digit. Second finger, left hand rates a Blue Island class of ’40 specialty. Luxury tax and all! Vi elevate overheard reclaring that a life of single blessedncss is not for her. Why Vi: Soy—have you heard ghoul All 'l‘urloy‘e hair raising experience this Summer? For results, note the blackout betwixt the pro- bosis and upper lip. A pretty tieltlleli busi- ness, there, A1. Free “Crash” Hummol blows upi His mod e! A got a bit hot under the collar and blew its top the other clay. ileuceforth it’s a hike on a bike for “Crash” to the “L” every day. Elliott/”reel ltd Oumjvaglm has really got a system. Not satisfied with snaggin’ our cigarettes and pennies, he makes like Houdini and with a more flip of the iiankie makes them disap- pear! The man’s good, but I want my money back! Fire Findinge One of our least lawebiding citizens to date is Tom Cations. Despite the fact that Hill attended the assembly Thursday, he instigated a little conflugration confab with a paper napkin and a match. Bunny, bur-11y! I also hear tell that “Bucky” Walter wae all burned up, hot under the collar, and seeing red the other morning when he awoke from his smoke dreams to find his room ablaze as a result of a burning cigar ette. And speaking of the assembly, Lieut- cmamt Nash was too busy chasing fire en- gines to make it. Joining the ranks of alumni trooplng down the beaten path to HT is Jack “Ace” Pen-kins. Seems “Ace is flying high these days, and hitchin his wagon to the tail of a Piper Cub in the Air Corps. Hid, any of you note the chveesecalces of {our of our newest coeds in the Sunday Trio, a week ago? Smile pretty, girls! :ml Carlson is indeed a man with fore- sight, he rooms around these halls all equipped with a date for the lligmu dance. Why don’t the rest of you fellas interested in this tcrpslchorean enterprise give the feminine quote a slight break? Loom ileum-m is melting great strides these days. No sooner did he beat it out of the O’pr’y House with his diploma, than he ends up in front of those E D 'l‘ ’5 this semm ester competently enacting the role of le hon. professeur. Well, I’ve couched the bottom at my snip" ply of women fodder, so until the supply is relinquished, {mm SIXTH COLUMNIS‘E‘ ”guilt: filteeite Merl (MESS Robert .3. Creugeu The Bells held a bang-up olcuic iaet Sun- day north of the city near Dom No. 3. Some of the blind dates didn’t turn out as expect- ed. Sigma Alpha Mu announces the pledging oi" ll'owuwl Fink, Mill. ’45, Allan Rolf, Civil. ”45, Ralph Elolomon, Mill. all}, starch fill/oin- hcrg Elite}. ”433. The actives; and Wedges got together for a meeting at the Covenant club last Sunday. Harold illnrvtte, Mill. ”lit presented his “exemption” ring last week. National Executive Secretary Jmnce Huron mmmtctn comeS to visit the boye next week. The ltho belts; have officially proclaimed this their “V” year. Twentythree men were pledged this; year and only one mo was loot through graduation, co the chapter is getting itchy fingers for the football cup on the Pl Kap mantel. The alumni of the chap— ter held an election Ell} the house at 323%} 8. Princeton during which Max lilo hes will; elected president. Alumni-Profit r Noell- mzm am: Dr. Pcrlin of the Armour faculty attended and were among the alumni who voted to turn over all the money in the Rho Dclt alumni treasury to the active chapter. Allan Herein, Rho Deit treasurer, is consequently walking on springs. Them Xi started its social season oil" with a bang when the boys and their ”wives” attended the Trianon en moose last week end. Gene Clears will be the social chairman tor the “TXers” this year. At their first meeting of the Semester, Oct. 1, the Daedalians elected officers for the coming year. They are Tom Careers, regent; Dick Johnson, tre‘as.; Bernard Wemworth, eecy., and Lowell Stevenson, seneschal. As for summer activities, several alumni D’s fell before Cupid’s darts and are now “old married men” namely, Bernie Either, Ralph Pearson, and Bola Klimt. Getting off to a start with the proverbial “bang,” .xamflia Rho held an election of officers on Oct. 6, and the result was as follows: Steve Mentlak, president; Art Pet- terlno, vice-pres; Jack Hellman, trees.; and, Frank 0am, secy. They expect 10 start their pledging this week at a smoker. The interfmteruity football contests should provide some real thrillers for touch- ball fans. I’ll see you there. flit wword liter (lfllllblflflcllfilfi liclcn F. Mnrzullo 'll‘hc rushing program of cool; eororlty is well under way by now! The actives and the ruellwce have become better acquainted, and every sorority active is doing her bout to maintain such fine liricnduhips! zk ‘15 e #1 The Sigma Omicron Lambda sorority has had its second rush party last Tuesday, in the art room. The table, upon which refresh— ments were served, was decorated and trimmed with orange and black crepe paper, and such “garden products” as pumpkins, squash, and acorns. 80ft music added a “fire~ side” touch to the party. All of the very fine preparation may be accredited to Misses Elaine Maggie and Margaret Ilnne Audenu con. :3: ii! #1 9" The Kappa l’hl Delta sorority has held its second rush party at the Lewis (Wom- en’s) dormitory. It seems that the girls enjoy singing, because they have trained ten sopranos and altos (so they tell me). Any success, girls? at is =l< )5: Shirley Shaun is now attending the Uni» vcrsity of Illinois. The Sigma Beta Theta girls are working conecicntlously in order to make their dance the firet big; success of the your! (lot course, you all know that it is being held at the Lake Shore Athletic club on Friday, Uctober 24. Hope you‘ll be their-cl! * 3k 73 131 Florence and Blanche, two of the Kappa Kewpies, held a reunion with a member of the Kappa sorority who did not return to school this fall, June Emitter. June is work» ing hard at present but intends to return for the spring semester. #5 >21 >'>< ’5 “Montana” Mickey, as she is now known, is busy teaching the youngsters in Willow Spring, Montana, the fundamentals of Eng lish. And what is also to our little Kewpies credit is her recent election to the post of freshman sponsor. A salad bowl luncheon for their rushees, was the highlight of the week for the Sig- mas. Immediately after the luncheon the sorority sponsored a competitive game in which Krone Peak was the winner. The prize was a highly prized bid to the Sigma dance. W ‘W'l'tifllfif Greetings, Klddiosll James Weber looks like the original of the lonellest man in the world, every time he walks past a bevy of secretaries and stenogs in the cafeteria. It seems that he can’t get over the absence of Helen Niehin and Lou Lakin. ll: it is v Sorry lads, but that cute young lady you might have seen on the second floor of Main last week; just couldn’t stay. She was .“3. Goldsmith, nee Kramer, wife of Art Goldsmith, former instructor at Armour and now working for the I]. S. Navy. all u: :l‘ ll: ltT'LIlSl-llll Scanning the news bureau of: tllie paper, the {locum llhovel antmuncos that u nmemo lion boom eclit out to lilac mote melting: tor lists ol‘ materials; and machinery to equip the hills in the new liIilL‘ buildingo. Things are beginning to lll‘llllfll! (We also got $500,000.) :lt * 9k >3 By the way, when do the freshmen start wearing green cape? However, if they order the caps through the bookstore, the order will probably come through just about the time Mr. Fox, the present proprietor (Shades of Stanley”), is ready to retire. And they’ll probably be pink anywayll la 144 =lt :12 The senior electrlclals are wondering how long it wil be before Profs Quote and More- lou tangle, due to those 3-hour AI]. mo— cm‘uery erperlmeuls which, take at least 4 hours, running into businese policy class time. It =l‘ W it: There has been 21 new policy inaugurated on the elevator by the senior juicere; no one is allowed to get off on the second floor (especially chemicals). (Senior “Slimear’ Fitzgerald rode to the fourth floor at least once before he could get off at two). )lt tit ll: it When the Green Bay Packers come to town weekend after uerl Marlo Durmell, brave boy that he 2's, better adopt the draflee’s slogan of Oxll-I-O! Our friend Mark made the grave mistake of making an ac~ quaiutauce with Hal Van Every’s gal, anal increased the gravity of the situation by dating her! However, the humanitarian soul of this lovely lass hue come to but for this lowly soph mach, and she has tactfully told him to “look around for somebody aloe.” Since we can’t stand the sight of blood, it is our sluccre have that Mario stays away from “Bullet” Osmauslci’s squawfl >l€ It: It: at WARNING Kim rue lllOWlwl lllll'l.‘ FLA— VID FROEEH AND HOMER! The ocular clues: Wishes. to announce that lemming immediate» ly all underclaoomen oliendere riding the elevator in Main will be treated to a shower (ice cold water guaranteed) absolutely free. A ellght charge will he made for removing; the subject’s garments! 2%. at: r1: 154 We are pleased to announce a new series of courses entitled “Etikut for the Ingy- near” to be offered by Prof, Gordon Erick‘ son of the University of. Leningrad. Each course will consist of a one minute lecture which will be delivered on Thursdays at 5 pm. The moral of O.G.’s first delivery was “When you come into your prospective em— ployer’s office, try to refrain from planting your feet on his desk top." Next week’s lecture is “Finger Nails and Their Effect on Modern Civilization." Everyone wel- camel! xt- Ilz 4: ii: FLASH! Playboy Butlcus rides again! .’ I Aided by the added attraction of a Maxwell, 1907 vintage, Johnny is really opening rm sill-out offensive against the feminine sex. Starting his drive on the South campus last Friday afternoon, Johnny’s ‘blz'tz’ was dl~ reeled at Dotty Glambelluca, one of the Sigma Sweethearts. Since we witnessed the melee, we’re offering 2 to 1 that Dotty’e out- of-toumer will have to launch a terrific counter-ofieusive to recapture the objective. 150039333, SNQGH’ERS.