i’t‘iGE SIX cum-r 'l‘fi run 5951‘“?! "3' LE? THE 5Lfiflfifl§l§ F’L‘f Wllflfi'fi IT MAY. The zero hour again. Polish all those exams and take advantage of that Short break next woo-l: cuz there’s a long winter ahead. fit ’3 1’5 v3 Alice: “I can tell you travel in a car.” Ray: “How so?" Alice: “By the way you bear down on the clutch when you come to the curves.” a: it :5: il‘ "Where did you get that black eye, Jack. "My gal, Lorraine, found an old letter in my pocket that I forgot to~—.” “Forgot to mail?” "Forgot to burn!” =51 ’1‘ =54 19¢ While visiting the Hawaiian islands last summer we had a very thrilling experience. We met two hula girls who loved the same man, so they pulled straws for him. 1‘ =l= 57¢ v SUCCEfilS STORY Stuttering Sam Smith sighed sadly. Sue saw sad Sammy sitting sorrowing. She said, “Stuttering seems so silly, Sammy, Surely, slow speech should stop stuttering. Say, ‘she sells seashells’ slowly.“ Sammy smiled. “S-ssorry, Sue. S~s~some- thing simpler.” “Sure,” she said. “Say ‘eix senators start shooting season’." “S-s~six senators Stet-start sh'shooting sheason,” Sammy stuttered. “Say,” Sue said, “suppose solitude smooths speechl” Sam stood suddenly. “Some secluded spot someplace?” Sam spoke. Sue smiled hugely. Soon settled, Sum squeezed Sue’s soil. shoulders. “Sue,” said shy Sammy. “Some- thing stirs soulfully.” “Sam,” Sue shouted, “Mutterings slop— ped!” “ ’Swonderful!" love you.” n Sam screamed. “Sue. l >3 >9: '1: all: “So you had a (late with an Illinois; (Fitch hey?” “No, E tore my dress on a null.“ ’l‘ Vi! 1% it: And then there was the ambitious young man who started on a shoestring . . . end got slapped. ‘4 3k It ’5 FENISKEB I’m done. with all flames. They cheat and they lie; They prey on as males To the day that we die; They tease and torment us And drive us to sinn- Suyl Look at the Month That just, came in! ’31 1'» 95! fir- Two little urchins were watching a barber singe his customer‘s hair. First boy: “Gee! He’s hunting them with a light!” 7% at It ll: Reformer: “And, furthermore, hell is just filled with cocktails, roulette wheels. and naughty chorus girls . . . ” Voice from the rear (faintly with a sigh): “Oh, death, where is thy sting?" 95 vk :1: nl< A. young man addressed a letter to am other young man pointing out that he unv (lei-stood the second fellow had been taking his engaged girl out. He requested that the: offender call at his office and tall; the mat,- ter over. Two days later he received this reply: “Received your circular letter. “Will he at the meeting.” '9‘ it: * * And then there’s the one about the Follies queen who woke up the morning after the raid to find herself fully clothed. She scream- ed: “My God, I’ve been draped.” * as in :3: “Here is a letter from your wife saying you are the father of a tenqoound boy.” ”Does she say anything else?” “That’s all, except at the and of the let- ter she says ‘Truly yours’.” a: x: >I< * Enough’s enough! tor, l hope. See you next semes- OH MIN. GODS 80b Creagzm and Tom (Juices What’s the most important thing that could be said in this column this week? The boys and gals got together and decided to hold an Interfraternity Formal at the Sovereign, Friday, January 30. Carl Schrei- her will wave the little stick for his boys who will agitate the air with pleasing sounds. Who‘s going to be there? Well, in brief, everybody, but some of the specifics Will be Guy and Toy (chairman), Wood and Carol, Bum-e and Betty, Abe and Guzzy, Moe and Helene, Haclobarth and his flame. We’re hoping that the little blonde “Venus of Westville" can come to dance and dazzle. Remember the dance; forget your can'ts. (com). Pi Kappa Phi held its election of officers last Thursday. Results: Archon, Edward Coilender; Treasurer, flurry Heideureich; Secretory, Ed Farrell; Historian, Jack Morse; Chaplain, Vic Sclwllschm‘idi. and Arnold Kramer (Co-ops); Warden, Walter Poppa and Walt Stephenson (Co-ops). Alpha Sigma Phi lost to Rho Delta Rho in their second ping pong match. The Sigs had beaten the Phi Keps in their first match. The pledges in the house are be- coming a bit concerned about their coming ”Hell Wee.” This event will be enacted between semesters with formal initiation on Thursday, January 29. Look out, pledge Christianson! The Dells won their two ping pong match- es so far over the Pi Kaps and Triangle. Exams and reports have the boys doing all their sleeping in classes these days. ,I’m still. trying to get a date, but in (my case, WE’LL see you mi ihe Formal, January 30. (I hope). ’ lt was only alter rustling a newspaper ac count ol.‘ his experiences that the moodnliaus finally learned the whereahcme of their *‘lozxgnlost" brother, Eugene flutter. Gene left Lewis during a short period of. illness, and then more or lose dlsappeurcd us for as anyone could learn. From the slow ol’ his elem-"mug; two Nazi planer; over the English Channel while on a petrol flight. we know that. he’s olive and well: tiller gelling hls first, wings here, he’s now a "ll" in the Hazlitt! film [Verve ‘ ‘Wc‘re sorry to say that this is the last illi.’ NEWS we‘ll write. .e’l. new colmmb in will take over in next semovtermwoar- ing a slmiglnrjacket, a haggard lock, and our tarnished halo. l’l’c’r*e received our share of bribes, blackmail, anti big, blue bruises, and we can't he hogglsh about this mine“. In our remembrance, the dimuiuhing has passed from fil’ECS to SCENTER to 9; 1‘11“”?th to GUS ’ll‘DPl’il to US. You’ll agree it’s time for another change. Economics, mechanics, graphics, steel, constitutional law . . . the school is going nuts! . . . and the department hoe its little white whips out of hock, driving us onward, blazing trails of graphite through lC grit. Hope you make it, kids . . . but at any rate, don’t miss the Open Forum today . . . the time is 2:30 instead of 1:30, as previously announced. See you there. Georgie Storz hasn’t been with a carramr be since Christmas. We trailed him sev- eral nights over the holidays. and, egad! out with a different dish every night. Takes ’em to Shanghai’s, we discovered, and makes woo over the “flied lice.” He’s been moping around a la Center, the guy with the gal and the greenish neckties . . . And speaking of “luhv”, We hear Michaelsen and Lindy are having trouble in working nights undisturbed in the lower school . . . and the scoop of the week: Larson wore down a bushel of mistletoe in celebrating Yuletide. Yes, we said LARSON! Reach down and shut your mouth! The juniors are goin’ to town with nicks names. We list the following: BEACON, STECK, BUNNY WABBIT, SMELEY, DUM- BO, MOOSE, SLUMP TEST, and KEWPIE. The ushers will now pass among you with translations. Flash! Our junior spy in- forms us that Eurloigh should no longer be known as MOOSE; the name now is LARSS. Andc Borre says Chris is short for Crisco. Well, this is farewell, and the best ones are brief. ’Ta! ANN EERIATED. GODDESSES Hell-u ll. anullo Classes, studies, oxmus, “hell weeks,” ini. tintiuusmall these lmcp the Lewis: lliovlics quite busy! Kappa l’hi Delta sorority girls are making important, plans for an effective hell week.»— a program to be presented strictly by the Kamm pledges. Plans for Informal and For- mal Initiations are also being considered. A detailed account. of the activities will be revealed at a later date. June ‘Keifor will resume her studies at Lewis and she also will join her Kappa sorority sister in their social activities, as well. (Glad to have you back, Juno). Cupid is doing his work very efficiently among the alumni members of the Sigma Omicron Lambda sorority! Lillian Snell- gx-ass, a graduate of 19-11, was next on the. list. She has become engaged to Al Roy» nolds. Best, wishes to you! (Ed note: Mine, too!) The actives will have their monthly meeting at the home of Lorraine Andersen, on Sunday, January 25. The girls are also very busy making plans for the Informal Initiation of their pledges. The event is to take place on Fri- day, February 6, at the home of Mary Alum link-sch. Further plans are not definite. Sigma Beta 'l‘lncln girls were entertained by their sorority sponsor, Mm. Stevens, on Saturday, January 17. After a dinner party, held at the home of Mrs. Stevens, the girls attended the Goodman theater. Girls fromrach sorority have volunteered to join classes in order an old the American lied Cross. Many ol' them will lmlt; some will make surgical dressing; and others will take a course in HomovNursingwhut all will do all in her power to “Keep 'Em Flying!” ”Well, folks, that's all there is; there isn’t anymore." At the final business meeting of the “D's" for the fall semester, Regent ’ll‘om Callous an- nounced that he is leaving the Institute after having completed the required work for his degree. Others who finish at mid- year are Ernie Lilck and Ted Kawalski. .‘lim Sullivan is leaving on Jan. 27 to join the U. S. Army Air Corpsmhe passed his physical exam last week. The draft has finally reached into the ranks of new new Alpha, taking Scribe Maurice ‘ltulumstcin during the last week. err 515%! EEWM hull"? There is a sweetheart I adore, She is my heart’s desire, Each lime I gaze along her curves It sets my blood on fire. She’s absolutely right for size, She’s steady as an oak, Her manners are above reproach, She doesn’t drink or smoke. Her curves are just where curves should be, She’s satin smooth to touch, And for Me pleasure she aflards She doesn’t cost me much. For sleeping, em, she can’t be beat, She makes me feel at ease, Her gentle, rolling motion is The kind that’s sure to please. I’ve fondled every curve and rib, I’ve felt her every joint And cannot seem to find one fault Of which. to make a point. She’s sensitive, though not too much. But lilac all things much used Will Show a little wear and [car If too much she’s abused. The one thing I partic’lurly like-— She never answers back And never weeps if, when she’s had, Her bottom round I slap. Just thoughts of life without her and A lump comes in my throat— I still maintain she is the best 0/ any BOAT afloat. M. A. BOYE. mmfiufég may“; By Raymund W. Sinner Frank: L. Win/ship, director of the drama loan library of the University of (Foams, is .convinced that Towns are honest. Last year the library mailed out 26,235 plays having a total value of $13,000, to “readers all over the state with only their word as security. Less than $50 worth, of the plays failed torcturn. The largest play-lending library in the world, the drama. Iva/n. library contains more than 30,000 titles including all major plays. Plays from its shelves are available to any- body in Tamas who is willing to pay the postage _.. which usually (unounts to six cents. :14 rk :4: k Northwesteru’s Purple Parrot told of a student who turned in a 20-year-old term paper from his fraternity’s files. He got an A minus, and a note from his prof which, roughly, ran like this: “This was an A. paper when I wrote it, and by golly, it’s still worth an A minus!” a: bk m m Rexford G. fl‘ugwell, governor of Puerto Rico, formerly was chancellor of the Unl~ versity of Puerto Rico. )l: :14 3:: z}: A .srurvey of social scientists, men who may be available as translators, interpre- ters, statisticians, and lecturers in defense worlc, is underway (Lt the University of California. When the survey is completed, President Robert Gordon Sproul will place in the hands of the government a complete record of the faculty men in the social sciences who will be available for defense work. The survey is similar to one conducted several months ago in the physical sciences. >l¢ WI ll! ’4‘ When Jessica Dragonette appeared at Kent State University (Ohio), to present a voice concert, she received a new addi- tion to her collection of hats with meanings. The addition was at Kent State 1945 fresh» man dink. Robert Byrne, president of the freshman class, presented the dink to Miss Dragonette at a press conference. 4: a: 9; 91.! Under a labor-study plan in operation at Bereu college, Kentucky, students are re- quired to spend less than $150 rz year. 1k 91‘ ‘44 ll: The old argument on the pros: and cons of the theory of evolution will probably never stop, but Prof. J. M. DeHaan of Michigan State succeeded in closing his Wednesday afternoon philosophy class’ discussion of the problem very abruptly. Discussing an old Greek philosoplwr’s the- ory that “man in the beginning was a fish,” Doctor DeHaun remarked philosophically that “one might add that sometimes it seems the process has not developed any too far.” l. at: r v; Short items about activities of Grinnell students are being sent to home-town news- papers. Everytime a student’s name is mentioned favorably in the Scarlet and Black, the news item is sent; to both the student’s high school and hometown paper. :4: ll; >l= fit The Catholic University, of Washington, I). 0., possesses the largest collegiate cam- pus in the District of Columbia~more than 1530 acres. . >5! llK * wk University of Minnesota extension divi» sion is offering a course in cartooning unA der Len Kleis, Chicago Tribune cartoonist. it: zlr :r Park college is about to get out of the utility business which it edged into acci~ demo-Hy 40 years ago by supplying the city with a Water system. The city voted to turn over the provision of a water system to a private companywa decision that was approved on all sides.