PAGE SIX

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Triounonoov NEWS

 

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OFFICIAL CGIVIMUNIQUE li‘l’tth GEHQJEX

THE HIGH COMMAND ANNGUNCED
EARLY THIS MORNING THAT TEES
PILLAR HAS BEEN liETz’lKEN BY WE
ALLIED FORCES AND THAT IT 18 N0
LONGER UNDER MARTIAL LAW. THE
TEME’ORARY OCCUFATl’ON BY THE ENv
EM‘Y HAS BEEN EXPLAlNED AS {FEE
OUTCOME OF ACTS OF TREASOI‘Z BY
A FE“? TRAETORS AND THE OFFlClAL
STATEMENT BISCLGSED THAT THESE
BENEDICT ARNOLDS HAD BEEN
‘THOROWJGHLY C H. A S T I S E I)” F 0 R
THEIR ACT AND NO MORE TROHBLE
ES EXPECTEB FROM THESE SOURCES.
ONCE MORE THIS COKAYUME WILL
BRING YOEJ THE TRUTH, UNBIASED
AND EXACT. THE HIGH CGMMAND
“TENT 0N T0 SAY THE?! ALL PRECAJL
'F‘IONS HAVE BEEN TAKEN T0 PR?-
VENT ANY MORE SABflTz’lGE OF THE
CALIBER OF THAT ‘WH’ICM CREATNEH
MAYHEM ON TIME} SHEET LAST ‘W‘EEK!
:1: :9: 9; x;

The three Armourltes that attended the
performance “What A Life” at Lewis last
Wednesday almost brought their undergrad
uate lives to an untimely end. Here’g what
happened! The hoya were sitting up in the
Lewis auditorium balcony. When Syb
via Weislo made her entry as Remy Alti—
rich’s gal. Barbara Pearson, these three
laddles almost fell out of the balcony into
the laps: of the main floor spectators? After
the performance the boys made a bee line
for the stage exit in order to. and we Quote.
“congratulate Sylvia’s pefiormance” but
the young lady came out hanging onto the
arm of 801118 Bronko Nagursltl. Concluaioh:
three dejected Techawks marching into a
nearby refreshment parlor to ‘forget ell’il

>5: 1‘ Y5 1;

Have you kiddies noticed the avalanche
of new members into the fiance claim"? ‘Weli.
we have, and furthermore. we know the
reason for this action! Yeosir. Reason: the
reason that the boys looked like a hunch
of women on the opening day of a role in
Field’s basement is that the Dance club
has added to the stock of lovelies. this time
using St. Xavier college as a supply source?
It seems that these engineern are great he-
lievers in old adages, especially those ner-
tainlng to ‘variety’ and ‘(loing today.’ Watt-h-
mg the boys scramble for Choice positions
in the line showed up the benefits that can
be derived from participating in intramural
sports. The Jr. Mocha, football players all,
were right in the front of the line. which
again speaks well about the effectiveness of
the “T” formationl!

I‘k via 2}: >3

Ami now once again this here olunh nheet
finds it necessary to remind youse mugs
that roformin’ time is almost here. That's;
rightr—New Year regulations are very much
in order! Have you given it any thought?
You haven‘t? Shame on you. shamelt 0f
«nurse there are things wrong with you——
and you, too! You, toot”? Me. me. We‘re
wondering it" George Martinck will resolve
to throw away that old mg that he calls:
a sweat shirt? Even on him it don"t look
good! ls Doc Davey going to swear or? foot-
ball hem so that he won’t have to keep
having parlor dates with his Mary Rita?‘?
lWill Bob Sundstrom resolve to leave the
Lewis gals alone when they come over to
this campus? How about Weissman? 'Will
he stop smoking outside cigars on the in-
side? ‘Wlll the syndicate (Eytme, Goluolm,
(low, Watson, and Zemaitis) quit mooopm
lizing the ping pong room in the after-
noons? Will Fitch quit leading revolutions?
Are the Juicers gonna quit monkeying with
the circuits around here so that school
lights will stop going on and off like a
flashing noon hear Sign? ls Hemman going
to quit: antagonizing the boys and refrain
from growing that cookie duster comes the.
New Year? It will materially improve his
own appearance so that he can actually
kill two birds with one stonel

’Til Next Year,
SOOl’ER SNQOPERS.

 

l , how {floohinl

 

 

Srllepwfimm filing

 

lly Peter Mixnwgrn

Greetings Skates! ‘erl ’tia a choice of
two events for the headliner spot of this
column for an interesting holiday date. The
first of these two is Sonja Ernie‘s Ice Re-
vue. Here is a gala event which is filled
with music and rhythm. Sonja will really
out up the ice for her sellout crowds. The
Ice Revue will run from fire. 25 through
.321. 4 with no performam-e on Jim. 1. It’s
on this date that the second of our twin
hill headliner will take place.

Yes, another sellout. event will he the
Chicago Black Hawk-Detroit ill/ml Wing
hockey game. “011 Murmiurr!" For those of
you who have never seen the Hawks dis.
play their speed and skill on the ice against
a Red Wing team on a New Year‘s day, I
would suggest that you take it in. This is
an event that really knocks the spectators
oil their feet. if you don‘t believe this, please
refer to last year’s game. Yes; girl Skating is;
the thing for holiday enjoyment. $50, if you
mm. take in either one of tlmae Memo or
both.

Oh you any that. still l‘m‘t‘s twelve or
thirteen {lays «luring w'lzit‘h you may “Miam-
pet" and take in Chicago. Well, how about
a movie. a play or an evening of dancing
at. some popular night. spot.

The brtter holiday movies are:
“Keep ‘Em Flying“ with Abbott and Cos-
tello, need we cont——

fiiitilin‘ Through — Jeanetze McDonald,
lone Raymond and Brian Aherne in magic
technicolor.

filmlnrk-Clnudette Colhert and Ray Mil-
land.

For pictures at local mentors why not
pick up some of the following in case you
missed them?

“Meet. Mr. .lovelzm‘L—lloh Montgomery,
Claude Raine, James Gleeson. and Edward
la. Horton, With this material the directom
pieced together a manterpleee. When the
time comes; for academy avrarc‘ls. keep your
eye on the results; of this picture.

Will] Villld‘y Serenzulemfionja Home with
Glenn Miller and hand.

Belle Starrwllere is a “production with
Gene Tierney and Randolph Scott in as stir—
ingz a technicolor women play ever produced.

tlr mnybs- you would like to are “hotly be
{won‘t—with Rm! Shelton, or “W’himling in
the Hark“ with Rod Shelton or “lively? lirtl"
“with lit-«l Shimmmllmmm.

Hmmlw-Oh lookyl Here Home more «pace
l mm Meal to rontimm the eolumn—wll’ i do
the editor will give me a spniihmgml (lowed
itl

Stage l’lazyS»»~F()i" the stagomlnded pub-
lir: Chicago is running the following current
alloys; at NH varioun theaters.

The (ire-at Northern presenter “Let‘s Have a
Baliyl‘wA new hilarious comedy with Claire
Powell and John Ell'rat.

Beginning Doc. 25 the Grand Sport; l—ltmse
will stage ”l‘hc Student l’i-inrr“_claimed to
he the most glorious musical production of
all time.

Still in current run are: Claudia-radiant
mmedy, Seltx'ynu-Native Sonmstarrlng Carl—
znla Lee, twitmlolmker—Louieiano Purchase—.-
mus‘ical comedy hit, Erlanger theater.

What? You say you still have five or six
more days left?

Well how about
entertainment?

Scanning the nite spots we find the twin
‘nallrooms Amigo“ and 'E‘rianon with Body
Howard and Hal Leonard, reepectively. On
Christmas day Dick Jurgrns will return to
his favorite Northside haunt and scatter
the Howard men from the bandstand to
take over in real Jurgens fashion.

Sweeping in we find Jack Toeg‘arden at
the Panther room, Grill" ‘Williamo in the
Empire mom of the Palmer House, and Del
Courtney in the Continental room at the
Stevens.

{flitting this section short we‘ll round up
odds and ends. Try—«indoor ice skating at
the Arena—«EVGN studio shows. If you‘r a
bowling fan take your pin money and keep
smacking them down.

So! There is still one day left over. Hmm.
Well, after all maybe you better stay home
one day. Gosh it’s a dead life. nothing to
do all day—Homework? Hmm. W’ell, hoping
that you don’t trip over the tinsel on the
tree, I’ll Close saying Merry Christmas and
a Happy New Year.

evening dancing and

Door Sally:
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle as l go—w
Oh what fun it lz tew ride . . .
ll" 1 had sum SNOW!

And a Merry Christmas»; tow yew, (leer
little mounlin flour. and a prosperous New
“Ya-um. and may the season‘s good cheer
fill yew tow the brim, and may yew drink
the jug dry! (Good ole mountin dew!)

Yes. it morn it, «leer Sully, Christmas lmi't
the mime (lmv'n ltcrr withmvl flint. gmlo old
flaky stuff nown aw. snow by the people. back
in the. statm. It sticWed down heer thnce
several yeers ago, but the people became
so excited, and woodn’t go back tew work
until the snow had awl melted and they
c-oodn‘t play in it any more, that the govera
nor forbade the whether bureau to allow it
tow snow heer agin. lnsted it iz foggy heer
abowl every nite and the kids have fog-
hawl fights: the kids get lost in the fog and
then bowl. Sum kids don’t play fare in that
they put rocks in they're foglbawls and that
iz dangerous az the rocks might bounce oil”
the klds‘ heels: and broke a window nearby,
and then they'll be owl broken up abowt
the inoedent.

Poor olll Monty Claim hair. a rough tymn
clown llm‘l‘ m Ulla-lemmas (your. and l don"t
morn maybe. How wood yew like tow he a
ralndeer and hav tew haw] a heavy sled
over dry streets willie not a drop of snow
on them? No fun. huh? Well, Snnty Claws
wun yeer tried wheels on hiz sled, but
then it made it tuft fore him up north in
the States; and he had tew put skid'chains
on the wheels to get threw the snow up
there. In recent years he haz tried an air-
plane, but do tew recent developments, awl
airplanes except military ships; and airline
ships hav ben grounded. Sum-one i2 liable
tow open up on him with an anti-aircraft
gun. Hence, 212 I said before: It’s going tew
he luff nLlCDglng . . .

llelravr it or not, yew may now cowl mo
“llmmr.” l lmv lwmim an ardent rhumba
and room: fun of the first. tlogroo. I hav
met and hav hen taking owt a Simply charm—
ing 'l‘exas gal hoo can rhumba and conga
like nohmly'e huslnenss, and she ham taught
me those latln (lanzes so much that I say
“wun, too, three—kick! wun, too, three»
kick!" in my sleep, and feel that I coed more
than hold my own if I wuz ever shipped to
a base in a spzxnish-smcreking country. How-
ever. it iz grate stuff, and I like it. We even
tried it owt in clawy publick the other nite
wen we when twe the Empire Runie of the
lecding hotel in Houston on rhumba nlte,
withe Glen Farr: “The Sweetist Music-«by
Carr,” or words tew that died. He iz an
oltle favorite frum Oh llenrv hawlroom near
Chicago. We got along grate until on the
“wun, too, threemkick” I tripped a. waiter,
and then I got the “wun, too, three, and
()Wt!"

5 got a clipping {rum :1 home-down ncww
paper that door ollle Armore (or flood it say
“1“?) lHlZ Started a campzme tow raise. $1;
tl0(l,(ltNlJNNlUMHNN) fore a field lww‘so. We! ii.
iz ahowt tyme that the stcwdents had a
decent place in which tew play marbles,
ping pong, shufflehoard, roulette, eight ball,
pinnehle, necking, black—jack, dart games,
and awl other highly educational and en-
tertaining sports participated in by every
redhlooded American man hoo wants tew
keep fit. Unkle John had the, rite idea wen
he led the opening of the drive withe an
Indian costume on: must go-um on warpath
if raiseum wampum.

‘Will r-lono withc the college. boy’s part
Eng prayer the night before Christmas won
he sod: “Deer Santy Claws, please fill my
TWO stockings . . . willie . . . a PETTY
girlm—ANY one!"

STGQPBRAIN BLESS

Mr oven

(Continued from page five)

 

 

 

 

full swing but the matches aren’t being
played on time. Let‘s speed things up for
MT. Ellingcr.

Theta Xi announces the results; of her
election of officers: G. Novotny, president;
H. Jackowski, vice president; W. Dres, trea-
surer; S. Stein, house man; F. Grote. ass't
house man; G. Clears, corr. secretary.

We also wish to announce the pledging of
two freehman “Juicers,” l—lowic Zrman and
Joe ltlovar.

 

lly llnynmml W. Samar

Reed B. Dawson of Mount Vernon, N. Y.,
is paying part of his college expenses by
acting as o. "fire-eater.”

He is a. junior at Harvard and his acts
have made him a popular attraction at 1303-
ton parties. His specialty is setting fire to
hix Itrmrls and letting the flames creep up
his arms.

“I! really only “icicles,” he said, “though
most. people think you. are burning 1:0 death.
I do it all with chemicals.”

Swallowing fire, he said, is just like
breathing warm ai’rwif done properly.

at: il: ’1‘ 31*

Movie actress F‘aucos llnrmor once won
a trip through lltmsin in a college. envoy con-
tent.

m w m 1;:

King; George ll, ot' Gn'ooco, wearing the
noon-let robe ol‘ n doctor of laws over his
uniform. recently received an honorary don
arm- at. lamhridgo ulnivorniiay.

:k 9k :1: a}:

Possibility of locating "noiseless” subma»
rmes by a meteorite detector designed by
Ohio State university educators is under
investigation by Canadian and American
sources.

The detectors: importance increased fol-
lowing German. claims of underwater craft
with mural-mowed engines which would.
destroy the usefulness of standard hydro~
plumes for locating submarinen.

Designed and perfected by Prof. Lincoln
Lu. PM, Ohio State mathematician, the de—
tector has been used in the last two years
to march for meteorites buried in the earth.

.3: W :l: il<

University 011‘ Mimrmnom Flying club has:
trained more than 40th stimulants: no {lion-1.4
without accident; of tiny kiml.

’1! 1% bk lll

Tulane Imivrrflity omnpue covers 100 land-
z-waywd ncroo.

Have you ever seen a carbon disulphide
molecule? Neither has anyone else, but Dr.
11.. N. Loilwrmmm, department of physics,
at the Ui’nlvernity or Manson has measured
one. In fact, ll you care to take the time,
Doctor Leibermann can tell, you how to
split one even though he has found them to
he one twenty~millionth of an inch long.

The doctor used no foot ruler, but a 30»
foot grating gravity spectograph, the only
one of its lee in the world.

a: 7% 21: 1!:

Dartmouth college’e ’l‘hayev- School of
(fivil Engineering won established in 1879
by Gen. Sylvzmnn ’l‘lhaycr, Dartmouth griml-
uate of 1807.

Twenty-six University of Texas students,
all 6 feet 13 or taller, have formed a club
whose only qualification is height...

)5: is >2: at.

The laboratory production of a previously
unknown gas which. permeates interstellar
space was reported. in the Astrophyséoal
Journal lately by Drs. A. E. Douglas and
Gerhard Herzlmrg, of the University of
Saskatchewan physics department.

The article in the Journal, which is pub-
lished by the university, described how the
two scientists attempted to synthesize a
substance which would produre spectrum
lines identical with these which Prof.
Swings observed were given by the inter-
stellar gas. The success of the experiments,
the physicists said, definitely established
the presence of gas in the space bemoaen
the stars.

* :{2 >5: '4'.

A (-rlwade in retaliation for the hats the
girls were wearing around last Christmas
took place on the cheaton campus. The
“Tl/lemon Record invited the boys to $135;
out that yellow cravnt with violet polka (lots
the girl friend had given them i‘or Chl’lfil‘.~
mas and tie lor the honor ot‘ having the
loudest neclelmnd.