DECEMBER 9, 1941 WW In on event unheard of in mo annals of the STEAMSHOVEL, a sinister bribery plot was ixnooverod by the feature editor. ln behalf of justice and fair play the (editor in— vades im heretofore sacred sanctum to rook wrook and ruin upon the wicked p02" penmlor. MILTON FRANCE; I’LEVA. 'l‘llo Mootor " ‘ , etc... ' of bribery alone, was allowed to practice his malicious mischief and escape without the slightest loan of the persocm‘ion of me press. How many are innocent. victims, ls but a conjecture, but a conservative coal mate by a fellow editor puts the figure well above fifty. Colonel Ramon, as ho is known to bio fellow crap-Showers, had long been suspected of such pmc‘lloel; especially when he was unanimously elected proslclom oi" the “TWA, and immodlololy marina} a class in smoocbing deluxe, «to. We are not attempting to further blaolmm the Homo of this super wolf in sheep’s olotbing, but we: do advise you to cbzzpox-on your Motors ll they are dating him. He doesn’t do any thing we wouldn't “link of doing, Elm. be woolos less time. Whon the investigators: finish stilling tho (evidence. uncovered, a comploto momma will be published. Lot plus he a warning; to any when mmkco—indho—Woclls to drive any olmllor ideas of evading justice out of llmlr minim. l'l‘ CAN‘T HAPPEN HERE! d as o A; Not so long ago, this pillar predicted lilo: Whitney “Weissmuller” Pom-ooh ond All berla Watson, Bill’s sister, would be seeing a lot more of ”each other as the oomesler progressed! However, even we didn’l imag‘ fine that Whitney would Slorl vowing bush ncss with pleasure so early in hio life. Loo: Thursday, Whitney was in, charge of Ho? cloakroom and theoretically was devoting all his lime to playing maid to numerous and sundry hunks of wearing opporel. Closer investigation, however, disclosed lhe startling fact that Alberto had been smug gled into said cloakroom and that the two were as chummy as a couple of logo in a rug! Clever, these Chinese, ain’t it? ar. a: 1:: fl It seems that Bill Plengey, Sr. Juicer, be- lieves in long engagementkvery long ones. He's had a steady now for the loot three months, but he hasn’t even kisseol he?” he doesn’t even hold her hand! Al this rate, we figure that the wedding of Bill to Jean will take place in the new Allison Chapel on the new ET campus and will be conducted under the regulations stipulated in Uncle Jorgy’s will. «The standard rate for this ceremony will be at least one year’s tuition, or a new Buick for Georgie Jr.) =l< 1?- :1: :k The Steam-Shovel is proud to announce the coming wedding of Wally Gow to that pretty young loss from Rochester, N. Y. She sent; him a proposal by telegram last. week and be is now packing in preparation for bio trip east during the Christmas boll. days. He seems to have forgotten that it mm Leap Year and that he doesn’t have to accept her invitation. However, he did give her a ring last summer and maybe he figures that marriage will be easier on his nerves than a. long drawn out court pro- cedure! (Ed. Note: But not cheaper, *I betcha!) .;< w o: 15‘ No use asking youse lugs if you’ve noticed that certain Winter Informal poster—you know which one we mean. Well anyhow, just in case any of you gentle people have taken that “drawlng” to heart, we want 1:) take this opportunity to inform you that in. order to gain admission to the party TECHNOLOGY NEWS ‘ m Mo groom: l woo “ omo lilo Helen F. Mm‘nollo Bob Croagzm and Tom Calms The. Kappa Phi Della oorority girls will keep up their athletic spirit throughout this year, as they have done so successfully in the past. This semester the girls have organized a bowling team, of which the pledges are also members. The pledges bowled one game against their active sis- ters and lost. But they’ll do better next time “they; sayll The active and alumni members of the Sigma Omicron Immbda sorority enjoyed a pleasant evening at their dizmor‘dunce last Friday. The girls entertained their escort guests in the Continental room of the Sto‘ vens hotel. The Lambda pledges: are, as yet, still col- lecting signatures for their aprons. The girls have been ordered to carry a black book every day, so that tho actives may do some “checking up’h—dhose are orders from org, “iswess Mary Ann mulmob. The Sigmas had their candy sale at Lewis last Monday, and at Armour on last Wed nesday. The actives are making plans for Hell Week, which is to be held from De- cember 15-20. The details of their plans will be revealed later. “Well. folks, mall’s all mm” is; more lim’l; any more!” It 1!: fill At a meeting of the bzmloliam on Doc. 1, they decided to replace Howard Woolf worm ao scribe since he has not returned to Lewis this: semester. in the resultant election, Bull Cartoon was; unanimously Chosen to oervo in that oapaclty for the remainder of the year. Attendance at the 13’s Friday afternoon symphonic hour has; been growing, but Ted Kowolokl, who com ducts these sessions, repeats the invitation to all who may enjoy a abort period of re- laxmlon accompanied by some good musical Selectionswroom 305, 2 pm. To Start, the Chris-91mm; recess with a hang, Gomnm lllxo will hold a “Show Drill" in the Lewis gym on Friday, Dec. ll), from 3:80 until {5 pm; price one (limo {10 cents). In line with the holiday theme of the dance, the G.R.’s say that they are negotiating with Santa Clauo to be preoem; ibai is, ll" be can get away from the Boston Store. Come out mall got. in trim for the mall whirl of the holiday season at the Snow Drill... Friday night you and your golladg; must. nccssarz'ly wear a little omelhlwg more. In other words, shoes are owl; much in order, and stockings, although not obsolulo 531 essential will distinguish the fashion- blow from the ordinary bums, ): or 1’s u The spirit exhibited by the students who participated in the “biggest Pop Rally in the history of this school” lasl Friday mom mg. was something to write home about! 31 proved our statement that the school nrpirit is here if we can only bring ll to the fore. However, as long as we’re bonding om. pats on the back, we aloo foal it right :o {alto a few verbal pokes at 1.110% few "lat held back. and refused to take part. Such action is indicative of the lack of loy- alty to your alma mater and we hope that your conscience won’t let you rest until you have vindicated yourself. Any repetition of Such an attitude will bring Mister X on your tail and that ain’t good! * >1: 21: 9r NOTICE: All boxers and wrestlers desir- ing positions as bodyguards, please see Lewis E. Dillon. This squad will be re- quired to accompany Dillon to all HT games and to protect him while he heckles the opposition. The necessity for this squad was very evident at the last HT basketball game when Kid Dillon was challenged from the floor. Undoubted, our hero sneered back at them but refused to come to blows with the challengers. Good boy, Lew. We admire your spirit, but even Rosenberg met his Waterloo. Mike Schultz is forwarding his flunk slip to the residence of Miss “Honeychlle” Spies, since he claims that it is her presence in the Constitutional Law class that is com lributing to his downfall. 91¢ 7l< 1.. Good night, children. , SOOPER SNOOPERS. My Rio-hard Noll Tho. hiotory of shaving is nothing for a man to get. into 21 lather about. Yet ever since I become a little shaver myself, I longed to find out when the emery custom got storied and why if a peach looked good with lots of fuzz, man too, could not hide in his; own bush without receiving that “come out 01' I’ll shoot” look from all of his friends. Indeed, I have spent mung/a fond hour dreaming over the portraits of Lincoln with his half beard, Pasteur with his full board, Wagner with his famous “on the sides and under the chin” whiskers, and Santa Claus with his Johannes Brahms board (or should I have put that the other way around?), and contemplated the days gone by when whiskers were made, not shorh. You know the ancient peoples wore a hllil'y moo and the more foliage :1 mm grew the more he was respected and hon- ored in his tribe. When the Egyptians came along, the Photos come to regard boards as a- badge of royalty, and all of the lower classes; were made to pluck their whiskers out. When the (hooks come along. they do billed to go back to lho woods. However those young wolves who wanted to make. a hit with me ladies, singed their fuzz off by sweeping a small torch over their entire face. Later on, some bright. boy thought up the idea of scraping lilo excess; hair oil with a sharpened flatstone, and somewhere along the line, he made history by giving himself his first nick. Tlm Romans shaved both thomsolves and thoir slaves to keep their gods, who wore beards, from getting an inferiority com plex. The constant fear of these early Lat- ins was that the power of the gods varied with the distinctions the people gave them. And so the early knives and blades were kept. busy reaping the human alfalfa. Now (luring the mlddlo ages. the art of flowing practically vanished from. the loco ol‘ tho north. Everyone looked then, like the Dominican abbots do now. In fact, it was a common thing, during those limos, for a wife to go through life without ever seeing the [ace of her husband. Picture if you can a Rembrandt, or a DaVinci without. a boom . . . you can’t. . Then about the later ball of the nine. month century a celebrated revival of olmv- lug took place, undoubtedly influenced by the town barber's who were always looking up new ways to make money. The sacred formula for this famous daily write ran somewhat, like this. The gentleman enters the barber shoppe. He removes his coat, his celluloid cufls and collar, his over- .vhoos, if the weather is wolllsh, and his hot, unless ladies happen to be in the shoppe. (In this case he re- moves his hot first). The gentleman then places himself in the hands of his barber who seats him and makes him otherwise comfortable. The bar- ber than secures the gentleman’s strictly private shoving mug, and proceeds to lather the gentleman with great gusto. The barber then proceeds to engage the gentleman in a conversation on polite topics whilst the barber straps his razor and shaves the gentleman. The com oerootlon proves to be slightly one- sicled due to the gentleman’s inabil- lly lo talk through the foam on his face, and the razors activity in the region of the gentleman’s jugular vein, but the barber soon enables the gentleman to respond by plac- ing a hot towel upon his face. The barber then places boy rum and tal- cum powder on the gentleman’s face, helps the gentleman from his seat; collects his tip and . . . “Next.” Today we shave with brush and lather, with bmshless cream, and with oven elecfl trio razors. But the important thing is that we shave. It is rummmd that many people in Russia and Germany are trying to gel Stalin and Miller to shave all" their handle— bars, and Chan-lie Chaplin, respectively. For- liaps they hope their razors will slip. "WELL, AFTER REABING THIS, I HOPE YOU ALL Wllbl.‘ COME 'l‘fl lell‘ Ml?) AT MY NEW Alllll‘llilSll «— THE HOUSE OF llz’W’lB. [NEE Film www.mwam roofing .WWW Kl“ "if” W83 filmmhmw «w mm v aw omoov or: r Eur wallow w mm. By jings, stuck on another opening com- ment. Could mention that it’s only ten days before Christmas but I did that last week. Could remind you to do your Christmas shopping early but that wouldn’t do any good either. Guess we‘ll juot have to go right into the juices without a beginning this. time. ’l‘ ll‘ll‘. ’1‘ Ilium; Hummer wo won'o out trying to gel: 540nm now pictures all Tl‘rolnt lulu: wlmm o Strangel- came across; lam a ammo and ‘womlnu oil no. “All," we sold by woy ol' oonvoromloo, “perhaps; you, loo, are a lover of the boon-u files of xwluro. Have you soon tho golden fingers of down om'ooding aorooo who eastern sky. the rodomlnodl, mulplmrooo islets; floor» lng in tho lalm of film in lllo woot, the rugged clomlo at; midnight, blotting owl tho shuddering moon?" “No." bold tlm woodsrmm. thoughtfully. “not; lately. ll been on tho wogon lim- over in your." ~ ’5' THEME} * The forum; lit-o raged fiercely and tho hum. from it was ammo. 'llo the mmnzou mom. of tho lire-lighters a badly {lingual look- rabbit came donating (ml. of tho llomos. ‘Wlnilo jumping glwolully on his bind-logo. lw cried: “lloolcoy, lookoy, l boon (hallowed. 'Wlmo!” is all ll! 3l! Willie mot his; baby llwotbm- In the i(:o~box. Whom bls mother Found ‘llm darling more, link} lmoomo a frlglal lnolr. v1! " ‘ x]: The moment a girl finds her ideal oho begins to search for a substlluto. * WINTER “1 Milt: “How are you this evening?” lilxoofilo: ”I’m lonely.” Milt: “Good and lonely?” fluookle: “No, just. lonely.” Milt: “I’ll be right over.” * lNFllRMhL r A couple were bleosed with a child their first year of marriage. They did not, how ever, get to the hoopllal gulch enough and the baby was born on the lawn in front of the hospital. The itemized bill was finally received and the careful husband objected strenuously to one llem~“Dellvery room, $25.” He returned the bill for revision. In due time it was returned with the objectionable HEW]. revised to read “Green Fee—$25.” *" THIS ’1’ A theater in one night towns is always called by the natives the Oprey House, and is uouolly up one or more flights of stairs, the stage furnished with dim lights and the dressing room with nothing. In one of these Oprey Houses in southwestern Mis- souri a certain theatrical manager found but one dressing momma large apartment beneath the Stage. “Where are the other dressing rooms?” he wanted to know. “Thee ain’t no others,” answered the local manager. “Well, what are we going to do? I have a large company of ladies and gentlemen and they can’t dress; in this one room.” “What’s the matter?”drawled the Mis- sourian. "Ain’t they speakin’?” ’“ Fllllllhll * l tried to kiss her by the will One own-y summer night, She shook her head“. and swooily wold, “No, not, by a dam slide." 91! # >l< >7< Sory: “Do you lxhlnk kissing is unheal- thy?” Cute Thing: “It would be right now, my boy—friend’s looking.” ll! >1: =3 :1: She (in a florist's shop): “Have you any passion poppy?” Old Salesman: “Have 1? Just wait till I put down these roses.” Just remember now, Don’t kick a mom. when he’s down. He may get up and [spools your bleak 013‘. ow: MEN.