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TECI‘ENOLOGY NEWS
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Come on, gang, let’s light the gas;

Some gags you’ll like and some will pass.

For, it's tough to find for love or money

Jokes that are clean and likewise funny.
at: 3? xi: ’2:

One of the regular army sergeants had an
acsorlmenl of recruits on the rifle range
recently and was nonplussed to see that
every one of them had completely missed
the targets at one hundred yards.

He moved them up to the fifty yard range
and still not a bullet hit the targets. At
twenty-five yardc the result was the game.

“Fix beyonets and charge,” the sergeant
bowled.

3‘ 2k ’2: )3!

Mother: “What are the young man‘s in-
tentions?”

Daughter: “Well, he’s been keeping me
pretty much in the, dark.”

:31
Ill charming foungmgal films dear Helen;
In her home town she was quite the bollen,
She was proper, all right,
When the lamps were alight,
But out on the porch there?) no pollen.
Ii: 1? >31 fir

“Where have you been, Bill?”

“In a telephone booth, talking to my girl.”

“Didn't take you long this time.”

“No drat it. Somebody wanted to use the
phone, and we had to get out.”

)l= 17: id W

When a girl is up on a ladder, men get the
Bung ideas.

331 2i: It! a

The story gets around that two Ubongz‘
girls met one very hot day in the jungle.
One of them stuck her lace up close to that
of the other, and rapidly repealed;

“Peter Piper picked a peel: of pichleefi pep»
peers! Now you fan me a while!”

xi: c in o

“Young mun, take your hand off my
(laughter’s knee.”

“Excuse me, sir. I was. just about to no},
what a swell joint you have here.”

:3: is: :1; 9::

Should a, man call his country home “lune

liar/o,” if it has a creek in the back?
all 1i! rl‘ ll!

"Whether young or otherwioo all women
are new oonscioue of their own good poinl‘o
ziml cleverly emphanize them. The women
with Symmetrical limbs are onthtwiaotic
about short skirts, tennis simple, one piece
bathing suits. And they 1153170? wear- slewing.
if a woman has goocl shoumcrs {mil neck
you can be certain she will go for otmpleeo
evening gowns. If she has a beautiful lunch,
the gown will lie out low in the ”back. limit
then there are girls who wear streamline.

fit :1: r£< Iii
DIDN‘T WORK
“I‘m sorry, I haven’t a dime,” said the
"5 she handed the conductor a ten (lol-
lur bill.”

'uon’t worry, madam,” he replied politely.
- ou're going to have 99 of them in a
(ouple of minutes."

ale id if; 11‘
LEFT HER MARK

Eioctor: “Why do you have FTfiofim tat»
icoml on your back?“

Patient: “Eliot’s not tattoo“), doctor. That
is where my wife ran into me with the car
when E was opening the garage doors.”

)it * P'fi 9:

An excited female voice came over the
phone: “Two boys are trying to break into
my room through the window.”

“Listen, lady, you’ve got the wrong num-
ber,” answered the man on duty. ”This isn’t
police headquarters, this is the fire depart
ment.”

“1 know,” was the reply, “but my room is
on the second floor and they need a ladder.”
2:5 e. :3: ac

All of which reminds us, before we go, to
ask what did the calf say be the cow?

“Shoot the udder to me, modeler.” .

And a little later- he mumbled, “Andi (lo
udder which (no mo broader.”

6H MlNl

 

“lite @reohe Moog eh ngllll’t’g goo ll

GODS
Robert J. thought:

It is a pleasure to announce that fraterni-
ty pledging reached a new high this fall
with the advent of a record freshman class.
In order to include every pledges name, it
is necessary to exclude any information
about the various activities of the individual
houses. In the future, however, all events
pertaining to the traternities will be herald
ed through this column.

The Interim-literally council will meet at
Phi Kappa Sigma, 32363 8. Michigan Wednes-
day, October 1, at 6 pain. sharp. All the.
members-z of tho council are invited, plus
representatives from all fruiernities and
sororities: at Armour until Lewis. Non-mom-
liei's of the council should write in) the Kill
flaps and say that, they are coming.

Helm Tau Della-1 is pleased to announce
the pledging of the following men: Frank
Bagamery, Terry Beale, John Bourke, flown
arcl Dali}, Norman Dasenbroolt, James Deck-
er. George Erkert, Charles: Fitzsimons, Ecl—
ward Gustav, Donald Knaah, Richard Mich-
alek, James Neighbor, Richard l’i'endergast,
Donald Rhodes, Roger Seilsti‘om, Dean
Skull.

Phi Kappa Sigma fraternity has chosen
twelve young men of the freshman class
of '45 for the “model" pledge clogs. The
pledge class consists of Don Hansen, Bob
Bartlett, John Bredesen, Jock Brownson,
Bonold More, Jim Mchmey, Dish lilies,
Bill Portion, Bob Vieweg, Walt Robertson,
Dick Pronger and George Sayer.

To commence the social activities of the
year the Phi Kaps held a cabaret dance
last Saturday night at the chapter home.
This alloir was greatly enjoyed by mam»
hers of the fraternity and especially by the
mw men of the house.

Alpha Sigma Phi maternity announces
the pledging of the following men; Robert
Adams, Ralph Ariioe, John Bell, Robert
Christianeen, Robert Demo, Allen (Emotion,
William Greene, Jock Groslmns, Charles
Leary, Ronald Lind, Richard Meagoeiy Rob-
oi't Lydon. Robert Oldenburg, Nels: Peder-
sen, .1. Elmer Schott, Harold Skinner, Nor-
man Swanson, John Thomeo, Richard Was-
le", Joseph Hockrnan, John Defloolc.

Pi Kappa Phi pledges: Harry M. Ander-
son, Paul Dalenlmrg, Henry A. Dirkecn, lila-
rio Andrew Fraccaro, Wolfram 0. Funeral“,
Albert Giassgen, W. Leonard Grogoi‘y JR,
Robert Hayes, John P. lliil, Richum Huber,
Len Klarlch, Walter J. Koelle, Berton F.
Logg. J. Karl Norris, John Roach, Douglas
{Em-aid Snyder, Ray E. Tubcrgcn, Jay Zoom).

liners: Sum seems to have when u liking to
the Gamma Rhos. Joe Norah in serving his
country ’way down south in Corpue Christi,
'l‘exas . . . He’s in the Navy! . . . illicit Rococo
is an Army man, now . . . lack Perdition
hasn’t returned to school thin sementer . . .
he seems to be in great “contact” with the
ship. Good luck to you, boys!

 

GODDEBSES
Helen F. Mzu‘zullo

. . .zmd so here we arc—whack in school
again! it's :1 wonderful feeling . . . eepooinln
[y for (how sorority sisters and fraternity
brothers.

The sororities have started the rushing
season with a “flash” and a “click”! The
annual PanHellenic council tea was held
last Wednesday afternoon, in the 6th floor
art room. New freshmen coeds were en"
tertained by the girls of each sorority. Pic~
lures for publicity were taken . . and
they were certainly a great cause for an
afternoon of excitement and enjoyment!
Now that everyone is well acquaintedwwe
all shoot a hearty ’WELCGME to our new
friends!

=94 19! :5: lit
Now for some inside ”stuff” . . .
it: at! til 72‘
Well, the Caklwoll twins, Jackie and
Louise, have returned from Mexico. to

complete the Kappa Phi Delta family. They
have been “south of the border" for the past
seven months, studying at the University of
Mexico. Welcome, senoritos! Aliolmy Wollo
or is now teaching English, in a high school
“somewhere in Montana.”

Misses Pat. Florence, and Blanche had a
grand lime, rooming together all summer.

The Lemmas were somewhat separated
this summer. Mir-mine Sui‘dylx, Sylvia Wels—
lo, Helen Mai-mile. and Mary Aim Knit-sch
spent: part of their summer in Summer
school, while Doris fi‘nlly enjoyed a with
mer school session at, the University of
Colorado. She is now studying at the Unl‘
versity of Illinois. llisic Ryh‘tk‘ifl, one of the
three Coops, is now training, at the Pros—
byterian hospital . . . Joanna liltcnlmmp
and lion-mine Anderson will begin school
in the latter part of October . . . Aida liairis
a l..:iml.>da alumna is now employed at the
Zinser Personnel offices . . . Jane Goclct is
secretary to Sonny Weiomnan at the Ab
moor campus and Lillian Elnmlgmso in em-
ployed at American Forge division in the
priority department.

Lorraine Final-as, violet. Tuckinli, Olga
Marisol]; Eleanor Wick, and Betty Kennedy
were also on the working list. Mort-exiles
iii-own mentioned in Mexico . . . Lorraine
lizmlciu in Tennessee, . . . and Grace Tami-
vri spent the summer at Round Lake, Illi-
nois. The girls have made plans; for the
opening dance of the year to be held on
October 24, at, the Lake Shore athletic club.
It will be a semi-formal affair, and the cost,
of the hide: will be $1.25. Hope you’ll be
there!

Well, Dan Cupid has added “Mrs." to
Adele anflr’s name. Adele is an alumna
member of the Phi Beta Pi sorority. She
was married on September 14 and a recap-
tion was held at the Somerset hotel. Con
gratulutions, Adele!

Well, folks, “that‘s all there is; there isn’t
any more.” See you next week.

 

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Greeting, reader! 0:- maybe even readers.
. . . Back again after a strenuous vac/cation
(spent cooking over a red hot blonde while
all you guys unlaxed in your nice cool
sewers) and off to a feeble start. And
whom should we meet but Michaeiwn! Yes-
sir; Mike‘s the blushing owner of a 1A
draft classification, mind you, and where
did we meet him? On the front porch of the
Art Institute, with two (2) wenches. Mike
needs deferment, so we assume that Limb
own was there merely to hold Mike’s. hat.
. . . But Wochrl has a smoother technique.
The Hillsdale hot~shot golfed his way to a
2A classification with his local boardma
summer well squandered.

Honey Chile spent her vacation teaching
puppetry in a girls’ camp—keeping in form
for essential string-pulling this fall.

Pearson has supplied the juniors with
guffaws by his purge of insect life. Hardly
a fly left for the ointment these days. Says
Elmer: “First ya catch ’em in yer hand~
bang ’em on yer board—drop ’em on do
fioor—‘n’ step on ’is head."

Overheard O’Kelly rendering trees and

classifying as he goes: “It can’t be a Christ-
mas tree-no ornaments on it.”

Christenscn’s drawing board crate is;
worth a scallion in anybody’s column. It
must be seen to be believed; line forms to
the right, Incidentally, Chris now weighs
230 pounds, 10 of which is not sloppy fat.

Attention Juniors! Burleig‘h‘s middle
name is “Ruthburn.” Sherlock‘s is “Refinish
ter." mandolin is “Deacon." (Editor’s note:
Deacon, hey? There’s more than one way of
putting up a good front.)

Rumor has it that Bunlap is color-blind,
and rumor is right tojudge from the clothes
he’s been in lately. Duly hasn’t been around
school enough to get scandal on, which
is scandal enough. And Olcncki - but
let’s skip that; it’s a tall story.

The freshmen have been tame to date,
but display potentialities. They include
several pool sharks, a trombone tootei, 15
guys worried about passing economics, and
a bird named .laque.

And have you heard what the T-square
said to the triangle? No? Thought so . . .
ANN lfiltlizl'l‘lllll.

 

     

“hero . ‘ W,
WWWUJES out...
by Charles 1. Ball

A University of Wisconsin student living
in Southern Wisconsin daily commutes to
his classes in Madison by piloting his. own
airplane and using a posture for landing
field.

it: )3 29: ’l:

New York's; swanky Ritz-Caution hotel is
now completely ownctl by Howawl “univer-
sity. 'llliio fmnous liotol woo bequeathed to
the school by Robert; W. Goolol‘, ’02, who
(lied loot May. 'l‘ho assets of the hotel will
he added to liar‘v:irtl’s present endowment
of illillll,830,591.’lli(sio.) '

Yi< W Ii: ll:

Oscar the Pooch is a curbstone setter
which was rescued from an automobile accl-
dcnt by a Louisiana State university coed.
After a successful recuperation the sludenle
tilted him so much that they set up a, trust
fund which is enabling Oscar to live in
luxury.

m viz It

Last June Antioch college of Yellow
Springs, Ohio, famed for its first president,
Horace Mann, instituted a new type of
commencement. Instead of the usual ora-
tory and laudation, the seniors informally
received their diplomas one afternoon dur-
ing a three‘day conference on pertinent
world problems.

* )1: wk e

Arr. audit of the University of Vermont’s
expenditures from 1927 to 1940 reveal the
unusual expense of $86,435 for the services
of private clelectlpeswpresumobly to trace
missing students or investigate those in
trouble.

v; is: e 41

WHOM] at, Lawrence 'lllech of Highland
I'm-k. Michigan. are ou'hjoclod to various
forms of humiliation inclmliug ion-coll pro-
pomls to the beautiful Seam, Roebuck «its
Company girls across the extract ‘wlnilo at;-
tempting to hold up licltloso giant's.

its a xi: nu
Last year Central YMCA, college of Chi-

cago had a class for the dissemination of '

information important to all the engaged
girl students. A. course teaching “What
Every Young Bride-Elect Should, Know” if;
new to us.
v: t: m a:
Watch for CHE survey reports!
an >1: m :1:

When the (lea/h of women at Michigan
State college suggested that coeds dress
in patriotic red, white, and blue cotton
slocklngs since sllh is scarce, the coeds
didn’t relish the tdeu. One indignant soph
stated, “Oh, my God! I wouldn’tbe found
(lead in them.”

* a: e :44

Not so long ago a Harvard freshman.
Leon A. Dumbo, submitted a 2,000 uvorii Eng
lio‘h theme on a home-mimic phonograph
record. His prof accepted the theme but
fox-hallo repetition ~— umloubtedly becauoe
such a composition would have no puncua-
tion or spelling to correct.

fit I}! a“ 1k

The word DELTA is used most in Greek
letter sororities. PH I 2's used most frequent"
[3/ in fraternities. Delta means in low places
and Phi means mud-formed.

 

lice ”rigour Neel Motion Forty
”in; Music 'With A Lift

hit

GEQRGE ESHARPE
Hyde Pork SGZLZ