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TECHNOLOGY NEWS}

 

 

By lid. 11’. Hanuslm and llort Milleville

(As indicated above, Bert Milleville has
been called in to assist me in writing this
column. Together we shall do our best
to keep you informed of the latest happen-
ings in all sections of the co-op set-upm-
ERR.)

1k :9: 1%: f5

Registration of B group co-ops last week
showed the following enrollment: 30 seniors,
41 juniors, 36 pro-juniors, 58 sophomores,
and 89 freshmen. The total of 254 is an all»
time high for the Armour College co-ops.

Di: 91: $1 3?

All five classes are urged to elect their
officers this week. For the sake of uniformi~
ty it is suggested that each class elect a
president, vice~president and secretary-
treasurer, Candidates for the otfice of pree-
ident must have an average of 1.5 or better
as specified in the Coop Club constitution.
The presidents of the various olaeees will
then assume the following offices in the
Co-op Club: senior president, president of
Co-op Club; junior, vicepresident: prey-jun.
ior, secretary; sophomore, treasurer, freeh-
man, parliamentarian. We bone to have
the results of the elections in time for pub-
lication in next week’s column. Much work.
lies: ahead for the officers this year and from
time to time we shall bring to their attten
iion worthwhile activities; tbat bore been
suggested to us; for their collective action.

2:: Av t: e

Evidence of maturity is showing itself
in the class of '43 with the sudden appear»
once this term of pipes; in the feces; of Lon
lift-.mplrill, Cecil Guilet’t, and Chuck loco
among others . . . Flush? .lloe chiphal SB
has been married for two years. 'l‘bis choice
bit of news came to light when Joe talked
in his: sleep while rooming witb Bert Mille-
ville 4B in Little Rock, Arlraneoe recently.
He now becomes the No. 2 men of the .58
class to join the royal order oi Benedicie.
Bill Boboo on. holding no eeorets from no,
invited the members of the eenior rims to
his wedding last February . . . Hugh “Wit.
lizimson, formerly of the class of hi5. bun
now completed six months of military train
ing at Fort Bliss, Texas . . . .liolm. Nienmn
of the class of ‘43, conspicuous by hie nb‘
sense this term, is also cooperating with
Uncle Sam in the nation’s nrmed forces}.

Bt- 1‘; i1: 43:

Upon completing their two years of math
under Dr. ll. Al. Giddings, the close of ”it
presented him with a desk model Telecbron
electric clock in appreciation of his tireleste
efforts in their behalf. Congratulations to
Dr. Giddings, and to the close for their
recognition of work well done.

1!;

Assisting Mr. Lease in his new office at.
106 Chapin is Miss Kathryn Ludlow, filling
the place of Miss Alberta l—lew, who left the
co-ops recently. Items of interest to all. co-
ops appear daily on the bulletin board in
the co-op office—copies of former math
quizzes, bits of philosophy, coming events,
election returns, club news, etc. Keep an
eye on this bulletin board as notices and en-
nouncei’nents that arrive too late for publi
cation in the Technology Nerve will be
posted on it.

Other Compueeg

Charles K. Ball
Every day students at the University of
Georgia mail 25 unaddressed letters. Then
they wonder why they don’t get answers.
is >3 :2: e

 

 

Tests conducted by Pennsylvania State
college show that athletes are potentially
better drivers than nonathletes.

* >x< is ' Xl<

Prof. Harold J. Brennan of the art depart.
ment at Westminster College believes that
there’would be much less sleeping and doz~
ing in classes if colors such as apricot, cool
green, and salmon were used to rid class-
rooms of monotonous drabuess.

fieyebopetbie Fyloee

 

 

 

By Ed Filko and Vlad Ferrell
THE PROFEE'ESQR

No poem this week. The hell with it. In-
dignzmt announcement from the perpetra-
tors of this column to lite trio of readers (edi-
tor, llnotypcr, and you): (Editor’s note: Aft-
er this issue, two readers. Include me out.)
(Editor’s note: Or maybe none.) Where
were we? Oh yea, our indignant announce-
merit: This column is intended, not as hu-
mor, but as a series of disclosures on the
kaleidoscopic types which infest Armour’s
hallowed balls. The student body has mis.
interpreted the very purpoee for which our
efforts were intended. This column is not
funny! Neither are proleseors, which leads
us to the topic of the week.

i. The Gnrblcr

n. incoherent. Speaks with mouth shut,
fluttering his nostriln. Meanwhile
stands with back to class, writing
neatly on the board in Persian, erns~
ing as he goes.

Foreign. Realizing that mere mumb—
ling is too easily deciphered, our

:5"

hero gibbers in polyglot tongues, to
the bebafilement of engineers every-
where.

  

vii 1.

1-. Vogue. Explains; carefully that the
lningmnajlg moves the doobickey,
which in turn has: tendency to act on
tile whatchamaculiit. but since every
whoozit has an cum} and opposite
you-know, the client in nullified. So
zireltlie students. Continually corrects
class for being nonepeelfic in answers
to quizzes.

... The 'i‘emlurt‘ooi., Last in, first out. This
confuses him. F‘ulters through roll-call.
Stutters; selfconsciously, which livens
the lecture.

. ’l‘be AbsentpMindod E’rol'oeuor. Forgets
either rollbook, textbook, lecture notes,
or room number. Writes; on walls instead
of blackboard. Loaves pipe innoldering
in pocket. Close keeps awake, watching
him in fatal fascination.

The Roll—Call Manley: Takes. unholy glee

in never pronouncing narree me some

way twice. His only consmtency it; his
col istent inconsistency. Favorite trick:
ma acres names so students (2211’! recog-
nize them, then marks the entire class
absent and stalks out in well-ialted rage.

The Mummy. He’s all wrapped up.

(Editor's note: In what?) (author’s note:

in himself, of course!) (Copyreader’s

note: I quit. I refuse to peruse thie ooze.)

(Linotyper’s note: My God! Nearly half a

column to go!)

o. The lmpmctioali Joker. Startles Students
from their stupor by writing “QUIZ" on
the board; then, seeing that the class is
entirely awake, resumes lecture.

’i. The Sloth: Not troubling to prepare a full
lecture, he disseminates dull data for ten
minutes and fills in with sparkling dis-
cussion of religion, politics, and women.
If this method fails, be can always beck-
on unlucky members of the class to the
board.

8. The Mess. Dresses shoddily. Physically,
mentally, and habitually a mess. Applies
chalk mess dexterously to the black~
board, erasing random patches when
necessary to insert new mess.

9. The Polar Bear. Labors under the de-
lusion that students will stay awake in
cold air. Opens windows wide and freez-
es class in an upright position. His lec-
tures aren't so hot.

in. The Shut-Kn. Born and bred in the city.

9

g;

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liiizbrieyf

 

 

W'cll, it's about. time to drag out ye olde
moppc mull Ilisnol to indulge in am bit of
Spring Cleaning. 80 excuse. me while K Open
the sweeper and will the dirt.

The Flower of Knighthood is definitely
drooping, despite April showers and spring
weather! June. licesonden, the latest addl~
tion to the TIT bevy of beauty, was seen
laborimzsly lugging her own chair into
Major Smnlc‘e third hour Philosophy class
loot Monday. What's the matter, fellas?
Been neglecting your spinach quota of late?

All hail, AlLAmericen!!! Welcome to our
happy little group! The latest and broadest
pair of shoulders being sported around
school are worn by All limmmn. 22-4-66-
Yipcll

Here’s a Timely ’I‘erpsichorean Tip for
you of the male gender who shy away from
Swiingopated Soirees. llmie‘ Harold, taking
advantage of the aesthetic side of the female
spieciels, had his fair locks shorn until he
resembles a cross between a Nazi and a
Mongolian idiotmwccording to Loin.)

The cafeteria has a new garcon in charge
of breaking dishes and a few hearts on the
side, by way of that nwieh white outfit he
wears. Guess I’ll have to stop bringing my
own cheese sandwiches after this! Hi, Ste-vol!

Navy has a gout, Army has a mule, but
the Lumbdae have “Pixie“ Reside as their
new mascot at their table every noon.
Watch your step with that boy, girls, ’cauee
I noted that dish of spinach tucked away
in the corner ol’ his tray”

(Quotations, and Answers Department:

What did Mr. Fraction, senior, have on his
mind Whilst wandering about the hallowed
halls of his young son’s Alma Mater?

Who is ’l‘ecimmeh? This spirit voice is re-
puted to have been heard wavering and
wailing from the darkened auditorium on
Friday morn.

What ill the underlying reason for the
sudden calm that. has descended upon the
l 1') st i in to '?

I can’t. find the other answers in the book,
but the latter is pretty evident. The patter
of Hill l<‘i:-4(‘hcr‘.~; tiny feet will no longer
re-ccho down the bolls. We’ll miss you,
Bill, but let out a healthy ye-hoooo for us
daown Texas way, will ya, pardnah?

I t appears to your correspondent that
somebody has gotten his cues mixed. The
first day of school, Cari Buchlcr demolished
his pretty, red apple by throwing it. around
the cafeteria. The first, rizxy of school, mind
you!!

Our sympathies-2 are extended to Mire. Hor-
m-l who is nuilering from a broken ankle.
It all came about as she overlooked a step
while leaving a drugstore.

Deportnwm. of Sporting Manhood:

“Tiny Tim" Meyer smiling indulgently
upon the younger generation now that he.
has joined the ranks of the “‘21” Club. He
received his membership card last Monday,
and tho‘ it’s a trifle belated, congratulations,
old boy!!

Dirk Johnson attempting the role of a
villain by unsuccessfully plucking at the
somewhat. frayed, and trifle fuzzy ends of
his; new soup strainer, before a cringing
maiden in the cafeteria. And with Horace
Trublue nowhere in sightll

For the face of the week, see Louis Condy;
for a nominal fee, payable in him manage!"
and bodyguard, Lloyd Seaetrom, he does a
mean rubber face act guaranteed to cure
the most stubborn case of spasmodic inspi-
ratory movements, accompanied by a Sud-
den contraction of the diaphragm, produc-
ing peculiar sounds. (Hiccups)

Well, gotta put the sweeper together
again so 1‘ can clean up all the dirt that’s
bound to accumulate during the week. So
until then, it’s your

FEFTH COLWMNIST.

 

 

His complexion is fishvbelly White. Can’t
stand fresh air, so he remetically seals
doors and windows. Class falls asleep; prof
pats helf on back and exits laughing softly,
like the man who misses the point of a poke.

(Editor’s note: The views presented in
this column are not necessarily the views
of the editor, the views of the faculty, or
the views of the administration. They are,
we suspect, the views of the authors. We
will assumc no responsibility for any reper-
cussions here or abroad.)

PAGE '3

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etc/Wm MVWM" rm mum

Miss Lucy Monroe has recorded “The
Star Spangled Banner" and “llmnrlca” with
The National Symphony Orchestra, (Iberian
O’Connell oonnduotlng, Lucy Monroe is new
peciolly known for her renditions oil the
Natiomnl Anthem, do much so, that clue is
known as the “Stin- Spangled Soprano." Ellie
has mung it no lone tlnm moo times at ditto»
rnt patriotic gatherings. ironwono known
the diminution which the Notional gym»
phony Orchestra and Ohm-loo WConmiclll one
joy. 'l“ogotlwr they have made it Wally
great record which every American will
want. llllio first copy of, this record wan
dedicated and given in Prouido‘nt Woeovolt.
lit woo onclonod in at special mahogany
cane. lined with red velvet and utuddofll with
cold More. Miles Monroe and Mr. Wilmmollll
mode the prescntnt‘lon. (Winter, “815).

Columbia have made several more rem
pressings of old Brunswick records the
best of which is Andria Moetolmmtz’ record»
ing of “Mary Imam at Little Lam “° and
“Goodnight; Mullen." Nursery Rhymes are a
specialty with Kestelanetz and “Mary Blend
:1 Little Lamb” proves to be no exception.
(Columbia 360%). The (Columbia Elation 0w
ohcotm’o recording of “filming 80mg" and
“Melodic in W" in also excellent. (Golumbilo,
5N5032).

We’ve been hearing the song “Amapolu”
over the radio quite a bit lately and Decca
has made some very good records of it. My
favorite is Coum'c Boswcll’s recording of
it. Connie really does this one in fine style
with her mellow voice. (Decca, 3631) . . .
'I‘he [)ccca Salon Orchestra under the direc-
tion of Harry Horliclc have coupled an old
number with a new one for a really swell
record, “The Last Time I Saw Paris” and
"Look [For the Silver Lining.” (Decca,
18120) . . . “We Could Make Such Beautiful
Music” and “These Thiugc You Left Me”
are offered by Wayne King. Besides the col»
orl’ul orchestrationo of the band there is
an exceptionally fine vocal on both sides.
The first is played in a slow tempo while
the second is played a trifle faster. (Victor,
27358).

a: m i :4: m

.700 Roichmun a newcomer to the View}?
entertainers comes out with another hit
record, It couples “’llllic Wino Old Owl” and
“Toy ll’iano Minuet." Marion Elbow handles
the vocals on, the first very nicely. The sec-
ond tune is one that was made for the Reich—
man piano. It skips from the solo piano to
the sexes, Clarinets and brass. The pace is
very fast (Victor, 27360) . . . Benny Good-
mam combines a dance number with a jive
piece on Columbia. Helen Forrest is featur-
ed on the vocal for “My Slater and l” While
Benny gives out on the clarinet and Arthur
Brrnutc‘in and (lactic William take care
of the brass work and trumpet respectively
on “l'm Not, Complzuinin.” (Columbia 30023).

Jimmy Dorsey gives his version of “When
The Sam Con-m Out“ and “‘iloure” with Eel-v
on G’Conncll Singing the firm and Bob Eben»
ly joining; her on the reverse. (Becca, 365:7).

 

little ddmeefleexm

(continued from page 3211:)
(lazing every night with Greeubm‘g, it’s the
dates in between that get him Too bad that
(Mg and Johnny don’t go to Armour, it
would save a lot of time.

On Sunday, Marci: 30, the following fell-
lows were formally initiated into Phi Kappa
Sigma. Harry Bovine, Julian Bowers, Eldred
Koenig, John Thornton, Walter Mnttocks,
lite/o Orsi, and Jack Behind. The ceremony
was very impressive mkmg place in a down-
tovvn hotel. Many of the Eratemity’s aimnmi;
turned out for the occasion to help melee
it. the success; it was. lll‘lie Elniverstty oi
lhirngo chapter- had only one main initiated,
but their actives and alumni certainly beige-
ed to make the ceremony at ouncesst‘ol one.