coll W’loioo Mocéooo act Sunday morning at 2:09 "‘31” basketball team arose shad just returned from Joe’s and were really quite up on ._ all. Fm}. score-Illinois Tech 50, Unl- ty of Chicago 9%. Soon after .. a dreary season, the ”rechec- M wrought their revenge on friendly neighbors from the Home Bums 38p ll-io—thenoae Tack wars paced lcl: Burn and Hubert Pad— f-berries. Hubert has been ol‘sed'lo be caplet} of the team he next season (if he lives (mg, hell, itch). Yack led the co fig with 47% pollute. While t climbed up on the llaolzet 11 flopped in the remaining ml» "lilo fimt quarter was glow. So the, second quarter. The thlrrl or was the same and the ml period, bingo! ' Wall) to the Rescue ml) Nudclaousc and Ricky» Ill; Slinka caught on to the Chi. ' o {style of play and di. apocarcsl at tile half to dig into a few vol- ‘ by Plato and Sholzccocorc. returned in the firm! period {1 clown with quotallooo 21ml slroono were helpless. a holly played at the guard po- 5 for Illinois Tech and spam ctlexcpt to help out the losing peel to lzlbltz in the game in flame. but they weren’t malt- aooes to one-another. Their fiverc tossed at the belluti More Hm. AM 3‘ Fons, Chicago star, came cl, laut this one had some food“ from Slap’s grocery store. Boer, been booz- ‘Do-‘Re-Me’ Miser of the cagers gave the squad a pep ll“ all; the end of each three-Mm ll?“ This year Tech eight and a half will no doubt face its most dis- astrous season in a decade, prowl ly beamed chll’s embryo coach Bernard "Beat me Daddy” Weleo man as he surveyed the hollow headed knocloimeed group of men (2’) that comprise the 1941~ Illinois Tech Baseball Team. Ur» talented, ignorant material, stinky coaching, and no dough from old pinchpcnny Allison will ruln tllc erstwhile chumps, I mean champ:- No Pltchcrc? Eo. Note: Any similarity to pea» sons living, dead or in 9. Estate of suspended onlmatlon is purely com inciclectol. Another factor which will definitely hurt the teams chances of winning the pennant is the loos of last years Captain and star pitcher (woo woo) Elly Petv arson. 13cc Von Mueller who was {ratified to Dan Cupid Rod Smill‘l return fol" two players Buttcl‘bcll Briefly and Eileen (mm) Room. con who also Cloesa little pitching once lna while. Directing the baseballero train- lng program from a sill; tlamaol»; (thaws? lounge. Sonny the Weiss warmed forth his slrlct orders; be m can sips of a mickey firm Der {'loch is looking lotward to the too oocner against Sally flood $3 c 40"}51555 Taro modem 15mm wilt}; lay on ho l?) W“ l (E Exam mostcolm mowing but. Tech as he expects; the boys to to} :c the worst beating in recent years. Doobtleos many fans mll tum up log" this event. The team will be led by Elwood Daly, tho {came mgr, as‘Coach Weissmco is ice. goin’ to Box Pack to watch a ball game that clay. The pitching staff will lac headed by Itiel‘film’iel‘ Yursis from the pic- ture of aloe same name. Yursis is a lecafiacical fellow whose slow hell is absolutely indefatigable. ting him will be Mario Sllla .. waste paper wizard) who hag confined his pitching to the devenport to his girl friend’s parv lot for the past few seasons. An- other curler, Lefty Bay, who was kicked out of Vassar when he went out for the swimming team, helps to round out the pitching staff. Whom Relatives? in Bauch and Lukens, Illinois Tech has a pair of excellent rev sewers, as both men (P) are quite aclept behind the plate. The infield is stuck with a bunch of return» mg lettcrmen. Mike Carrier, ”Weissman’s nephew on his other side, although he has not shown up for practice yet, will start at first lease; Rog Mueller, that fouled friend of Carrier, will play sec3 ond, “Wee Willy Gross, "a braille student will play short stop, and “cleaop n“ ti The ‘Dlz‘ m fiLcoflllng mmllelcl‘o in? ‘ cum . . lllllillll’ llmlAlllllllll l’ilfllll ”lllfill lllll Wfilll llalélllllllllllll Plans; are being made by “Uncle .lolm“ (Schommer to 3101138 guys that are new hero) for a full echo dole of football games for the lleolcalion of the Illlnolo Institute stocllum. At the first games next yom‘ against Southern California {rcmcmhcxx they won the Rose Bowl game) the new gleaming while marble stadium seating 10 people will be opened! to the bosom mom. of the field house. Renaming Water, Amt 'l‘hll; field house will be the new- est thl‘ng in modem construction. ll will lie entirely underground to protect the boys and the sspectot~ or from the glaring sun uml the {loot oi the flock Island-Now ”York Central lmln tracks. (Some bright Aw: student thought it would, loo cheaper to build it under Ogden hotel than to clean it every year. Tl: trains; do give oil" smoke am duct, you know. Aloo, the “p ’blllty of invasion by the brilliant Am: (01' was; he a civil) men from Jupiter prompted this to combine the features of a eta- {llum lm‘ lootloall with a modem bomb ellelte'r. Construction is Jbfiw’flklnmyfi (”lilo rlmumatiom germ’ s aide to another “Let’s ago to another joint eml got stiff.“ now going on (Now you know what those men were doing out there last week.) Gridacr Groom Coach Grant (checsebox mom for} Storage? has devised 51 mar— veloue new system for the HT grlfimen. ”With help of the boys; from B.B.F.’S department (Frof. Freud to the uninitiated), Stenger i9 devising a compound of lecithin that will develop the footballers into giants that will literally scare the opponents off the field. (Or should I say out of the hole). The only rub is that these physical wizards will be deficient in ”brains (who isn’t at this joint). Ah well, if the firm effort isn’t: enough to scare the opposition out of their Wits the team will retire and dream us some other chemical aid. (Anything but work). Tickets for the opening game may be secured through the Sub- way depamment of the City hall. Since this is a subversive (under ground if you don’t get it) cow tlvity, guards will be posted 1; ' (continued from page five) the triple close of od‘cnelin wore off were more inches from the finish line. The manager got the half milor’zs hypodermic needles mixed with the quarter mller’s. Which explains the reason for Matthews tearing the east end out of the fieldhmlse on his limbcring exercises. The final event of the night was the two-mile run which at the pro sent writing (Elliot lap) has not been decided. But giving a “live" to the other figure jugglero it has been announced that Tech would get third. ll our expence account was bigger maybe we could buy a second. Ugly, llgln, Ugh Both teams looked a little loot- ter than the previous game in 1932 when they 10: at to the Matilda school for young ladies. Of couxse, the squad still trusses the four team members who caught athletu ice foot and had to be shot by Doc McNamara. lt wag one way of pro venting athleticism becoming pro" valcm about, the campus. WHAT om Wllfi mm; mm We (:olldl 31mm Gypoy Wmallo. would elo o (hurling tolmofil’l‘ ficwllogg - (continued from page five) Next on the firing line was the good Doctor, “I—Ial" Davey. After five minutes of struggling, he managed to pick up the large sphel'o‘id and clagger up to file firing; line. He exclaimed, “My bockspin. is going to make Weisow man's hook look sick". The “Ilookotore Bandit” strode up to the starting line confidently. He said, “My average of 150157111 certainly carry me through the battle”. “Jesse” started to fire. away and the din was terriflic. “Jesse’s” biggcct threat was his butterfly ball whlch floated down the alley and lured the pine after glow om” Egg?” on ill-Em? 5 We omellw 5 film: lloofl Wag? fliooo” lo "lfiooclml? lame. “FOR HT Taco, Ween, Thora, at; 9 P. M. c o o. olo’lml’ em '3