By U. Aflkt Foritt
(Gucssctl columnist)
' ts concerning material used in
mn will not be appreciated
y): fit at *

College of Hillside, Michigan re-
propriated $9,999.99 to move the
to level ground and received a
and $0.01.

a s

  

  

 
 

”I * ii: *
outing upon final exams. 2’. Follow-
lioh stutlcnt of Warsaw, Marcia,
flmcfljwant kappa tomachy fors mo
pm: 59¢th a skucye gifts," one?
cameo to agree with him.

a as as a

$0101 go swarm” [fag/looms

02 9.1m 59a: WWW wam- 321.5
a}.

3'. Jark .Tlcco, aludlcm at Anfock
mt? Ma 10.78 3W om coy womb
poll into gear, ran ovor him, and
into a me. He smoker} it cg.
‘ oil flows: :1 kill, knocking him over.
1, ho throw o wrcnclm at it. The.
bounced off a tlm mm hit Sloop in

c )5: a 1::
yllowing item.
2i 2::

kovc loom.
W 9): 72h o
cgular day school of Books: College
occasion, Missouri has abolichcoz all
urns, classrooms, family, and. cm.
”hey have closed dovm.
o 59¢ a 3?:

lin’fil’omcn Bachelors; Glob off ”Wam-
fllo‘le College rccmfily filobom’écii.
y of the mombom hoél 1:01:ch mm"

a 1% v
" at remarkable thing ballooned an

(Continued from page flue)
c morning, at kroakfaot, cho andéicoly
that she had forgotten mom. afloat
om. lying krozlzxgfiy on hcr ma. Eco
mall, ahc mama to how mom. Tho
‘ a (Hoaypcamo.
c was fcvcrishlv cranking ml"
ng vainly through the closets
cm, a (low, elderly mafia appasmofl
r aml smvcyml the acme. “If Ma
as you’re looking for, 2am,” coo
of. them back in the ymmg $3ch
on."
' no :1: 4s a
an be gay in a claésy coupe.
chemo}! can be jolly.
ho go] worth while
c one who can mails:
4 cc taking her home in a jaloypy.
7% >3: 33 it
§TZ3 may not be good: cooks, but
lways heat up a male.
a a a

, my daughter? Ha! Young man,
(3m; keep her in underwear!”

Something; queer.” com the (lan-
ay chic tooth kac never been
ciom, Ema; E fimi small flakes. of
can." .

hick you’ve smack my back collar

93'. MN!

  

 
  

 

l remarkable thing happened at M. ‘
1’3 :15: u:

c, .

WIN smooom
TEST vow Limo.

Do your friends laugh at you? Do your
classmates sneer at you? Do your professors
swear at you? Take heart; All is not lost
Show them you know who: the score is.
(What is it?). .

Anyone who can answer all of the fol-
lowing questions in less than two minutes
had betler see a doctor. T112; your luck.

 

 

I. What «10* you know. (CZofine you im-
swer to ten woréa.)

. .2. Arrange in the follmvlm; omen

a. Student

lo. Epinoch

c. The Solar Elysicm

3. Whoa; is the definition of on ion? Do
you agree?

I}. A man and info wife are wsflkiog into
a coma. Moanwhila, mo vollmccoo roams
mm with no visible pmclpfialc. Tho “L” lo
approaching while your girl walla for a
bus. Under these ccmifiiooc do you think
Hiflcr will wln tho war“? What war?

5. Which is more alike, maflxcamflco or
algebra?

6. leo not more than, coo Home for me
followiog:

a. Water

'3. if you poaocscca only a wand! and a
mechanical
“.8 advantage comma in flotafl how you
would: recognize a momcm of inertia.

91. What; am the girls: at Locals? Why are
tho boys; at. 2m-mw? no not conl‘ooc the
two (gimmicks.

1o. brow a kcehaufi mop of mo USA. and
or: is rcm-oscm by a clot. the. foam loogco‘l
rivcra and the flavor: tomcat 3mm. {moon
mu. flooscvclt, IRWA, kWh. hail... ma,
FflQ, Cl.) Kt, PU, am 3% all meek filo
aka-ca.

11. Who are you? ”What; am) you swing
now? Call Poooocola 72m.

12:. Givo onc‘holf of a mason for moles.
sow. Do not cheat, :voo cool).

13. ll)? arctic oocictzsf, how lilo you lama};
tho ice?

14%. .
What would you ovcr {lo if; loll; Mom?

153. Omit, questions; 16 cc 3?).

*Pcrsom resembling people llalng or (lead
not eligible.

  

RH Java}

it has been brought to the collection of
the N.€?.S.L.A. (National Collcgc Sluacnts
Lunch Association) the incrcasing {Jamil
clement of those students who are forced
to grrepare their lunch at home and eat il
.‘n class. The plight of the areal zrirafioriiy
of College students may be scan from the
report of the sub-committee on Tim/E. In
Bullclin No. a.g.T-1940p this important
branch of the N.C.S.L.A. has groom lhal an
exlrcmely small proportion of sludcnls
have over one hour for lunch. This stale
of affairs obviously necessitates eating in
class.

0f coursp every luryflfi 51193151 59235933 :90
certain specifications. The Committcc on
Light Lunches has formulabcd the follow-
ing characteristics to which all successful
light lunches eaten in class should possess.

3.. Compacmcas. Items such as canned
food, long pretzels, and pumpkins cannot be
easily carried in a briefcase.

2. obacnce of Odors. A whiff to the wise is
suficicnt.

3. Absence ofi cmnchy matcrizfls. Food
such as oysters in shells, unshcfled peanuts,
anti crisp celery often interferes with the
lecture and causes embarrassing moments.

a. Dmess. If much wet food such as
oranges, watermelons, and ripe persim-
mons are eaten, the clothes soon become un-
sightly.

5. Unsavofimcos. Food should be "wrapped
' k

 

 

The Placement Office of Armour Collage ‘

announced recently that it had succeeded
in placing all of the graduates of the class
of ’m. This good piece of news is more
evidence of the fine work that 2's being car-
ried on by the Placemcnl Ofl‘ice antler the
direction of John Schommer, otherwise
known as “eight down” Schommcr.

$,3{= W 34}!

Xerxes, 3P. Synanthisis, (link). has boon

placcdl with the Walgrcen Drug Company.

Mr. Swoontkisis will be. employed in who rc—
search department of this company. His
antics will consist in waohlng wheat tubes;
and hookers. It has also been rumored that
he will dircct an mq‘ulry into tho private
lives of the Walgreen waitresses. Those re~
mcmkorlog Mr. Synanflxisio at Ammom» will
undoubtedly realize that; he is admirably
suitofi for this: latter aooigmmcnh
bk a a»: a

The friends of Professor Oriole Arnold,
noted. professor of coop English, will be in
lcrestcd to learn that he has rcccm‘ly bev
come interested in antholog ical pursuits.
The fruits (and we mean just that) of his
labors. are revealed in his latest book, “Quo
Usquc Tandem, Classic, Abulcre.” We quote
from the chapter on bird life, and its cf-
J’ccl on the wash. in line backyard:

Tibmflcm
Ecna Macna Myra: Mo, sing hallo, sing
dynamo,
Catch a. iiowil by its; toe, silly silly dynamo.
If it yodcls, lot it go—«il’s not a lit-wit, N0!
Ah, no. Tell it so.
Heed not than its pretty twccling
If’li.“ goose, my Bo!
Journey’s and in 222012ch meeting,
If ’lis raven ~— Poe.
Pardon me, you look just like Margie.
a as; a a

Colonel lance fl'flonnox', 17.3.2)“, class cl
us. is director of the War Beuovlmonl’o
Bureau of 1‘6“!“on Aniiqai‘ly. The Army
to ondcavorfing to bring hack tho more chow
ic typo of warfare, since it finds; that no
otliccro om “assumed; to tho modem; idea of
tho Mitzkrc'ig. It is for this cocoon that
O'Connor is making a apcciol study of
broactworks. The {10101301 majorcul in now
loamy When Jim was at Amour Tech.

   

mm moms:
ch 7'00!

 
 

food such as coconuts, bananas, and pome-
granates are often indulged. in, the room
will look like a pig pen (had). Such foods
are definitely inefficient

For the main coarcc 53b: or ocvcn cond-
wiciwo are the minimum occcasary. These
may be madc of ortliomw white krona
throaouovtors of an inch thick or oligkfly
thinner slices of pumyomickcl, Boston
brown krona, or fiat-k rye bread. The sand-
wich fill depends upon the infiividua! porn
son’s mm, but nothing heavier than mm»
ton, most pork, ham, coca cggs, or ohrimp
is recommended. It? the person is allergic a:
samiwichco or wishes to add! varficty to
his lunch, he may bring sovcral petunia ofif
beefstcok, barbecued ham, canned column,
or a half—(10mm hard-boiled eggs.

To cat along with his light lunch the per-
son may bring cold left-over meat dump-
lings, homjn‘y, corn—meal mush, and large
dill pickles. or red. peppers. Meatless Hun-
garian goulash or questionable hash may
be eaten on Friday. Whole white or sweet
potatoes add that certain thing to a lunch.

The: piece dc resistance is, of course, the
dessert. Here there is a Wide variety of
light and tasty foods to taper oil the lunch.
Often such foods as large pieces of mince
pie, squash pie, or delicious pound cake
perfectly finish you off.

The Light Lunch committee of the N. C.
SWLA sincerely hopes that it has helpcol
those students wl have had (2" lull

   

     
    
  
        
     
      
 
    
     
   

 

 
 
 
  
 
   
    
   
   
  
  
 
   
     
  
    
  
 
 
 
  
 
   
 
  
  
  
    
   
   
  
  
    
  
   
 
 
  
   
  
   
   
  
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
 
  
  
  
  
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
   
  
   
 
  
  
 
    
  
 
 
  
 
   
  
   
 
 
        
    

 

halvlco "l“o Who am "lam
By woos Dom»
All letter positively not confidential.
My friends and follow sufferers:
Jock Jilted:

  
   
 
  

It oceans that in spite of tho fact that yo ‘ 7

have been moot atumfivo in tho pool: on
your fiancee mom is: mommy
thing lacking. It might kc wise to co

 

your family poychiahvaot am} if. lilo it: om r, _

able to help yaw-”Road! Tho limo lo. 3!, ,
Daily Tech News.
Doubtful Danny:

Fifteen years is too long to wall to pop
lhc Question. '
you is that of John. and; John’o Harriet.
They were seen at the Spring Thing acting
like civilized maple, but the neat news
heard was that they had cloned. Alas!
Alack! John has succumbed to Hamlet’s
charm. Herc Danny is a shining example
of aggressiveness.

Pcmolopo my Doom

lash maximize how molecular-5o low you alaco
you are holcm up in. mm; allnky mark; [Avon
mm joint. My advico to, you woam ho a» mo-
tain your coolacto with tho moot cowl-
(loom. After all Romeo law “all lullol, lo
spite of lame garden wall.

For chic advlco; arc is in Email. clmmom
rental of your mansion for mac weak.
Dear Mrs. Dig E'. Graces: ',

Do not fret about your wayward hus~
band. Efficiency hac always been his mono.
In order to insure the cfliciency of his sec.
rctary he occasionally (I know seven times
a week is too much but rcmemberall
FORE! FORE! O pardon me, huslncss rbo-

 

FORE pleasure all fore efficiency) drops

a pound, two or three: of gum drops on her
desk.
loo fret about, for Draco Krcw Ill will
soon be called in the draft.
Dear Seczho:

Pleaoo com] mm 0. picture oi! aha than»
beforo E can give you may flanker comm».
also Ma phone mambor anal addvooo.

gloom gluovclw
(Continued from page fioc)

of Junior week. The man who drinks-his
rivals into the dust of Ogden Field on
this occasion will be awarded a beautifully
inscribed beer mug. gnaciously donated "Hy
the aforementioned most generous George
W.~«You know. Amng the more notable
entrants to date arc Johnny Schommer,
Phil Huntly. Joe Marin, Stan Winston,

 

 

Dim Markovin, Honk, Heald, Willie Kratlk ,.
wol, Rabbits White, Chuck. Paul. John the .

night watchman, and, last but not least, our
own Nell Steele!
fl! :5:
FLASH: Free beer at the] Hockey Hop!
Come one, come all!
m 1k

We, the students at Illinois Tech in order

to form a more perfect bier-stubs, provide ,.
for the common thirst, promote general in?

ebriety, secure the blessing of Sir John
Barleycorn for ourselves and our fellow

students do ordain and establish this chap»

ter of the ACBD.
:1 a as: :91
As time goes on, it becomes more
more evident that to drink more and
beer makes it more and more :3 ‘

    

 

The bcsl cacampl‘c I can give '

Now this door madam, 71c knollngo

 

     
   
    
 
    

 

_. .9,

l
1
l
J
.1
r
J
l
J