w l l i l ' first with everything, (". ' counterbalance. y'iillti/éiioleiio tiiirroeiito oliv'tboilogyc lil’oeoeggreeyweoil; . " my. mm'-WmWWWWWWWmnmmmmwmmmfimwmwmmmmmwwgmm V .. - WMWW ... ._...._~_._.._....___.._., ..._. _._.MWMW rum-W mm, ELLINOES ENSTKTUTE 0F ’ ECHNOLOG‘Y‘. CHICAGO. mfilmfllfi ,rriioio ll‘oc 'i’iiil lie 1%ch lirerpcotneti In line with its policy of being . first in war, first in peace, final. on the relief rolle) "Crochnology News; scoops the world in anoouncz. ing important new curriculum chzoiges at UT. These changes; will be $01er the recoil; of student de- , mallow-the faculty washing its hands of the entire mesa When interviewed by your with-awake (Sig). reporter a school spokesman said, “The (icon lo gettih’ Sick ah’ tired of all the squalor you jerlte have been puttin’ up. From now on you can go straight to Hades with our beet Wishes!" Student reaction has been won led. Quothe Horace ll. Horvath, ill, “Mighty decent of the chop— pies .... it gets; extremely liming sleeping through the some claooee year after year.” Making a Special trip to the Rialto theatre to get the opihion of Lad Filcho, proml‘ hem Ii'i‘ lncbrizttc, your reporter was told, “God, I hope they throw the ohyeics courses out. I refuse to spend another year in the curated place. Three and a half yeem out of my life has been too much now!” And then, his last cigarette with the enthusiastic theatrc’goer, your ecribo proceeded to tho Stir (continued on page four) emoticons Titlil‘llfilil igliilfiiifii ”Til iifiifil" Last night the "F131. made a startling discovery Lionell Moo covitch, famous Jr. Civil at lifl‘. hot; just sold his patent/suspension bridge to the Italian government. This giant bridge, which is; to connect Sicily, British Malta, and Libya, will have a Span Hibachi} 300,000 times; as long as any bridge sport now in existence. It will be the some type as the Tacoma Boy Bridge which was vibrating too strongly a short time ago. In order to avoid this vibration and oscil‘ lotion, this bridge will be made entirely of rubber, except the pavement which will be construct cd of PbSozl. Since the spans are so exceed- ing long, Lionel} Muecovitch has hit on the idea of attaching bal- loons to the middle of the span, in order to prevent excessive de- formation when the loacis are ap— plied. These balloons will be equipped with machine gunners to ward oil British wareplancs. The balloons will be filled with a new gas made from Uranium X, The FBI has not yet been able to obtain the exact formula. Of course, these balloons will introduce an additional Wind re- sistance, and they will contribute to lateral sway mo ion. To over» come this Muscovitch has propos. ed the application of an eccentric The counterbal- ' {continued on page three) i’i'm itiommtodi l’m ovmcomtl I’m remitiog” "iii'llot’s mull posse (iointl eliciting out of: {in limo; page of (Eli; ole-my mg”? “What? ll‘m ctlitnr oi.” «in u cola? W by, it‘s) oooooetitutionoll Who dammit? Fill moiacr it! ills in slit cmil ’Gfiimmie my timid gimme do bottoms! I‘ll pooh ”om try» do floor! ills hero paper’o gotta be mt: do right. way. lilo gotta be horrible. More ain't no almimotoc‘m. What’s (in motto will you tongs”? E ain’t no niooy! Elix- cltcii? “Wbooze limiter}? hero‘s grotto be corliooiou. . Gimme filo forte. l: gotta got me inspiration. Hello, Holly? Whatmro rub {loin}; tonight? Nuttio? Grate, I kill yore yore yo (loo colonic (loin. For all oohfttoion. i gotta be soothed. Weir; chrome: What ‘lil’coclree Should No “What Every Working Girl Should No” will be the subject of a diocoorsc by Profosoor Ulysses P. K eicnhoon. Professor Kafen~ neon will address: the women’s di- vision of the Lewis Coop Depart- ment at his regular time, Satur- day, at 5:50 a. m. This subject is coneidcrecl oi vital importance to the young women who are about to be sent forth into the cruel, hard world. They will be employ- ed on jobs obtained for them by the director of. the coop course in Business and industrial Manage ment. » Such subjects as “Working After Office Hours?" “What to do when meeting the boss’ wife,” and “Em- ployer’s Sons Are Dynamite” will be given lengthy discussion. At fessor hopes to be able to com~ plete his course. He has been sufl flaring from an old battle wound Prohibition Repealetl For bicwccl Elliott A; Under the direction of President. H. ’1‘. Herald of the Illinois insti— tute of Technology, the final plans for the new campus of 1.1.1“. has been made. Of special interest to the stuclcot body is the design of the new Stoclcnt Union Building. The first floor will be completely given over to the Armour Cocktail Lounge {Floor Show Every Hour on the Hour.) The second floor will consist of the men’s bar and free lunch department. The third floor will contain the women’s salo(o)n, resplendent in all the col ors of the rainbow. The bars will be decorated in various shades. of baby blue. There will also be a few class- rooms scattered here and there. The improvement committee has decided to install love seats in kricg all the class rooms. This will facilitate the overcoming of in- . h ‘ Hotioote illicit-till lliciel @iipoiicire Miller A Siuflcnto ill? lllihoie ’l‘ecli Give Adolph, Bonny The Blitz I Attention all Armour engineers, Lewis students and Lillian Snocl— grace 1: With the new order of mil- itary lilo on the l;l.T. campuses, the following rules: will go into ef- fect: l. Sliding rules will be worn on the right hip, open holster style. (Similar to Gene Autrey). Z. Dorringcrs, ponioo, pocket slide rules and other dangerous weapons will he used only by the secret service. (For further clo- tuils see your local comic mag- Mine). 3. No (lioguioo of any sort are al lowed. (Special notice for “Blind Bat" Pollack and “What Color" Rosenberg). 4. Gambling, recreation, etc, will not be allowed in the Union be~ tween 1:00 A. M. and 1:05 A. M 5. Pants will be considered part of the uniform and must be worn at all times, excluding the class of ’44. 6. Students; will not be allowed to carry school books in their knapoacks, because they will not have knapsacics. 7. Going to classes. doing home‘ work and other fifth column ac. tlvitles will be discontinued be- cause of demoralizing effect. 8. “Simon Legrec" Welssman will be adoiresscd as “Major”, and will be identified by a bull whip and black flowing mustache. 9. All forms; of degrading tobac- co, except cigarettes, cigars, chew- (Continued on page nine) ”’gfirfitii” iliiliflfiml'ifim Elli liliiitmil MEQWS A drastic step toward the mo hiiization of all competent en- gineers was; taken by FDR. last night, when all senior mechani cale were informed that they will he enroute to camp Joyellott on lune 13 w one day after gradua- tion. Although this action came without any warning, it can harri- ly be said that. it was not expected. Only Ono Rojactctl The beneficial results of the phy- sical education given here at 1111- » hols Tech came to the fore when the men were examined during the last few days. Out of over 200 engineerc only one, a certain P. A. Trumpler, was rejected. Also the doctor said he too could prob ably pass the exam if he would develop his humor a little bit more. The only other item hold— ing “muscles" Truimpler from join- ing his pals at the “from" is one “lab” report, and since all the boys want to be together, a couple of the better junior mechanical. students have offered their aid to “P. A.” Teach Public Speaking Not only military angles will be cared for, but also an educa- ti’omxl program is intended. The d . or; or we oil In less than forty-eig’ last week, i‘llinoio In, Technology transformed to a mighty arsenal for D in re.L spouse to the cloq of Franklin Roosevelt, Winkle, J. P. Morgan. on Zaharoil. j Sending the inhubitzm neighborhoods housing chh’s three oampuoee ,oourr to their cellars: in eturlt Armour- ,Lcwio‘, and the A. stitute underwent oovera] cal ziir raids and blackout Wednesday. Muttercd th Benito Mussolini and Adol'p lor that all Illinois 'I‘cchtlo pay a bitter price for lto co efforts in behalf of Inter Jewry, Bundles for Brita the Polish Club, etartlcd ll of students to prepare f ye for attacks that may 00" minute. Operating like clockwork, audo of motorcyclco tit through the halls of Low chine guns; bristlecl fro window of the Art Imtitu ten foot trenches gradually combed the beautiful gro Armour. Gone woe the ll serenity that, , once 19 throughout the beautiful gardens and babbling broo Dropping from the to " Armour Student Union b like tumblewccdo, parachute troopo prop alight upon the unaw’at‘ of Adolph’s blitzkrieg tic every campus, extensive tions were underwayeafo taming Benito's famoue with hotfoots and emai, with vinegar as they surrc (continued on page ih THEE-l WEEK [till Elli; WEDNEEDAW Not much echool L 1: 00 Elohool 2:00 What meets at: lilo THURSDAY moo Lunch 1:00 Larger pictures: at Lewio " 1:00 Armour, EDT, 3? EVE), etc. - TUEigDA‘lI moo Ciaseoe start 9210 Profs throw hull 9:26) Tech News cow throws Emil notice [ti-incur meow ‘ limit; rimm‘ 9:34? 1 1:00 11:36} moo ,