W- (Wot/yes Charles E. Bell College graduates aren't such a limited group. The Modern Language Aoeooiation Says there are one and one-third timee at; many comylcte illiteratee as college gradu- ates in the United Stat/es. #- :k 33: >2 Dartmouth College’s recent Blot Winter Carnival~the oldest in the countrymfee- tured a gigantic 401/4 foot high snow figure of Heyderdahl, the patron Saint of skiers. a :1: at: at: Michigan State College now has a rule whereby men students who keep coeds out on dates after closing hours of the school’s Women dormitories will he subject to dis» ciplinary action themselves. ll: 3?: 1h it: A group of thirty Barnum? College students have been making wcelwnd trips to Wash- ington, I). C., where they visit Lullohmevé» cau embassies. in m ale #3 Northwestern University has; students from all 48 states as well as; 18 foreign countries attending the school this year. 9% Fort Worth, Texas schools are new mime- ograpm'ug newspaper mops, mid wing mom instead of text books on geography, became the map of Europe 2's changing; so fast these days. v at; o e Students of ileesolcilee College of Bam— ner Elk, North Carolina, are i‘eoois'ecl to go possum hunting; as a port of their physio cal education activity. 5? Y3= W t: The campus of the Virginia; Union Unl’ versity will be the new site for the $739,- 000 World’s Fair Belgian Povilllon which has been given to the Millmll to use as a new library, auditorium, and activltlefi building. lit " 2v o It is rumored that a bill will soon he in‘ troduced into the state legislature which will require the Memorial Unlon oi the University of Wisconsin to eerve one ounce of Wisconsin cheese with every meal cost ing over 24 cents. iii >k 1% fit A short time ago the Un-‘izsci'oély of Texas: copyrighted the numbers worn by me were hem; of their football team in (m ollempt‘ to stop the sales of unofit‘ctol progmmc for games. :11,- >0! slr 11: Tests recently completed by Kent State University show that men Stildll‘fi’ifi: are quite a good deal more emotional than coedsmat least in their reactions to varioos types of music. >l< 1%: x: 2E5 Four University of California studente were caught throwing watmwfillcti hage on pedestrians preceding a football mllv They were hailed into court and the judge aeo- tencml them to more of the same—the builil’l‘ took them outside the jail and emptied a bucket of cold water on each of the olf- fcndore’ heads. )5: 1:1: AZ: * Astronomy students at Indiana Univer- sity (we required to sit up all night .9on- gazing as a part of the laboratory t‘equi'ro moms in their elementary astrouomy course. The fellows oovt’ously spend a good deal of 313707: trying to get their oest girl to Sign up for the course with them. * e at 2; It, is Said that. the campus Romeo of a Midwestern minivan-oily who was away at» tending a fraternity convention, after three days, wired his local heartbeat, “Having a swell time. lWis‘n you were her." is 3‘3 1'1 Last year Columbia University’s Teach- ers college offered a $5 ihree day course in janitorship. Thecou'rse attracted a lame numbe?‘ of school cleanup men who were anxious to learn the latest techniques in the act of mapping and sweeping. TECHNIUlLOGY NEWS a ' teleololtoo ‘lllzlehieyf on MALES! Woman consists of a calculating mind, armed and camouflaged by every Weapon of modern science; and, like Frank Buck, frankly out to “bring ’em back alive.” They come into the world sweet and wholesome, and succeed at an early age in elimination of every trace of it. Women, as well as men, can be divided into several classes, Firsl of all, there are those that will lead you into a night club and omen-fifty cents more worth of Coca Cola than you have in your pocket, and then say, “Oil, Why didn’t you tell me it costs so much ‘7” As if they didn’t know. Then, there are the shopwindow sharp- shooter-s, who can pick oll’ a bargain a block away, and can lead you in, have the package wrapped up, and sent out, before you know the money has wandered from your pocket into the cash register. Walking down Main Street with them is like cam‘ylng on guer- rilo campaign without ammunition. Women knew all there is to know about propaganda years helore Hitler ever wiped away at the dirt on his lip and found he had a moustache. They can pick out a likely prospect, get introduced to him, rope him, hogtie him, and brand him. with an ease and speed that would put an expert cow- hand to shame. The marvel of every age are the old bachelors, who. like Old lronsidcs, though battered and pursued, are still going strong after half a hundred odd campaigns. Women find the chief expl‘esoion of their character, such as it is. in their hate; for hats, like women, come in all ehapco, sizes, and varieties, varying from the little red rags, miraculously glued to the back of the head, to that towering monument to the mllliners that is decorated by everything from wild flowers to kitchenware. So here’s to the women, God bless them. How a man can get eloi’tg wllh them l5 al- most as incomprehenolble as how he can get along with them. From the limelight gloom fihovolm ( Continued from. page flee) Special bulletin and worming: to the Fifth Golomnlotll Can one who it; mentally in- capacitated be sued? For you? who, we hope not, but we’ll have you understand that such wholesale plagiarixm at; you are guilty of can no longer be tolerated, har- omplfi If you want help, we’ll give it to you but my God, don’t copy! :6: Sb :1». iv film! we (:looc with om“ thought for to- day: The”: we only two wealth evaporating the (Jo-Hop and. the Hockey Hop (Gad, it‘ll be all hopped up before I’m through with this» so you‘ll have to speed. up yozw im- omicmlivc processes! 1&5; Kayla? M1“. Erick- eon “lloyble forty. boys!” @GQPEK 5376051191!)le Sally Rand lectured at the University of Minnesota recently on the mtbiect ”The Value oi" White Space in Advertising.’ st 2k l: v The students in the University of Kansas department of journalism get actual ex— perience in publishing by tolling over the production of several Kansas dailies for one day periods. 2c ’3 e A sorvey conducted by the YWCA}. on the University of Kentucky campus shows that the majority ol' coeds. dam four times a week and the men barely two times a week. Seven percent of the mom and ten percent of the women do not {late at all. Probably a most surprising fact was that the least students are the heaviest datemo— Tom» on possessing (chH' 2 averages and men pos- sessing over 1. >16 ”23¢ :1". This summer the University of Kansas will offer a new geology course at the school’s camp near Canon City, Colorado. =l€ al: * Fl: Western State Teachers College at Kala— mazoo, Michigan, has a trolley to bm'ug stu- dents up and down the steep hills on the campus. Blue. Book Blame My heart. is lwozikiiigm My heel: is aching, My l’omhcad‘s cold and (lamp; My hands are shelling, lliucoo are dunking, llhn bothered by writer's cramp. lllow ll wish I wove a child again—w lllow much ll can never tell! llxmnel Report carols! Exams All I can say is . . . and how did all of you blue'book buyers and pen pushers do since I leerecl at you last through these bleary old eyes, after plod- ding through six hours of exams of a March 20? A big bouquet of assorted blooms goes to Mr. Erickoon and his girls and boys for the splendid performance at the Goodman March 14. You were right in there, gang, and I’m mighty proud of youwmighty proudll A little nervousness was exhibited by Eileen during Gns’ violin solo—but she soon was sulficiently revived to carry on. The girls were at their best that night for how could they help it with those gardenias they received from the male chorus. How pretty the flowers looked perched upon each curly pate. .llohmzy Knapp has given Harriet a gor- geous diamond. Congrats to you old boy! And some of the same to Janet Schulzmzm on her impending marriage. Milt certainly was; Tooled the night of the Goodman rchcnmal, right on State Street, too. His friend Sunny didn‘t do much to help get him out of his predicament either. What? No cooperation among the civils’! It seems 11ml Florence and Blanche just hullit’fl’t realized that the school lobby is not the place for a tete—a—lele. hill Kearney has been setting new records wwilh his recording machine. The trio com- poflod of llohomli, Aldomx, and Katie gave fine renditions of Gm] Bless America and but Mo )all You Sweetheart and several others. Hmmm-m of the week. Marty Gordon and Monet-dos Brown. For further info see [lot or Steve. Lor nine Koslda‘s latest evocation is; petitioning everyone in the cafeteria for little white buttons. Who’s Who for the filming Thing Jack l’ci'kine and layup, Dick Borneo and K’at Howie Moi-7.0g and Florence .loo Del’into and (have. Boll Meyer and Aldo John and Lil Steve loll/an and Jane .lack Greener and Mickey lloh Weiss and Ethel Max and Mary But! Carlson and Doris Correction: It's Holmes Snodgrass, not Jim. (NB. Sports»; department take notice!) I can’t help wondering how Suean Harri. son’s son lilacs being her subject for udob csceut psychology? Speaking of children, have you seen our latest addition to the coeds? Mrs. Cole’s daughter, age four. (Might add her attendance is more regular than some of the registered students.) Who mid Ev Manson was going to Ar- mour this mommies“? Maybe he thinks his little green cap, that was, loolts better on the Lewis campus. Happy vacation! In the meantime to you, and you, and you—don’t worry too much about those courses. They’ll be offered again. THE FIFTH COLUMNlS’l.‘ again! only. level.» ._ (Continued from page five) Perhaps you haven’t heard about the mama kangaroo who took her two babies out of her pouch, banged their heads to- gether, and shouted, “How many times do I have to tell you to stop eating crackers in bed?” >2: >2; 1’? 96 Janet—“Oh, Proffy, what do you think of me now that you’ve kissed me?” Prob—“You’ll pass.” rt 2% e e The modern girl must be very interested in geometry; she tries to make a. triangle in every circle she’s in. @fl MEN! MW”; 35%, 3,9131 ‘31: mmmmmmmmmemwfiof mmmmmmummmm .. Willy" TJEEL'AWQIMOMQ‘K‘WV W WWW» ' Ala l r l fifl’l’llf/Wfly‘w mflf/lffi w$WEAU$£ Wm M Wefegmwweefi By Bel) fialgh On Victor Rod Son]! records this week ilo preoonmd am olbnm of “favorite overtures.” In this set we hear foun- ol the host lmown and loved oven-121mm: “Morning, Noon and Night in “Vienna” and “Pool. and Pool-mm (Wot-mm" are played by the Boston “ll’om” Orchestra with Arthur Jo‘ietllen- conducting; “Light Jamil-y Overture" and “Money Wives ol‘ Windsor Overture" we rendered by the BBQ Symphony Oi-clnoolm with Sir Adrian lloult conducting. {ll‘hle lo a moot. [or all music lovcm. (Victor, Album No. Ill-746’). Ronny Goodman and his ovohootra have made one of the most. striking swing ar- rangements of Oh! Look at Mo Now with Holon Forrest handling the vocals. While the pace isn’t fast and furious, there is plenty of solid jive by the boys. This tune was written by a little known slang writer, John Delirium, and was a winner in Tommy Dorsey’s Fame and Fortune contest. The coupling lo a illozuggy Carmichael tune Lazy River and likewise is; excellent. (Columbia, 360112) . . . When llmn-ry Clinton was at the Panther Room several weeks ago, he in- troduced a new theme song Isn’t It fll‘lmo to Fall in Love. which is a Clinton original. It is full-bodied, easily identified and typical of the band’s style which are all the quali~ ficatfons lo a good theme song. Foggy Mann sings the vocal. 0n the Boide is lllim’l Dam: which is sung by Torry Allan. Blind Date is played in a little faster tempo and features excellent brass work. (Ellwo- liiI-t'l, 18477076. Blng Crosby with the Mercy Illinois and Bob (lmnohy’o llol) Cato Hinge “Dolor-ea." Mo- sideo lling’o vocal more ‘io an excellent saxophone solo lily Eddie Miller. On the revorso oido Croohy jolno The Mingle Mon and Victor Young and lilo orcheatx‘a to give no “Do Campmvm Home." (Decca, 36M). Ambrose and his orchestra have the dam:- ers in mind on thio record which couples Waltz of the Flowers and Serenade. The first is a beautiful waltz while the second is played in a foxtrot tempo. (Decca, 3652). . . . Kate Smith gives an outstanding per— formance of A Little Old Church in Eng— land, Irving Berlin’s latest hit. Kate is ac» companied by Jack: Miller and his boys and the Kate Smith chorus. 0n the opposite side is It All Comes Back to Me Now a big hit done up in a splendid vocal arrangement. (Columbia, 36015). Roiemon goes Pan-American with two Mack Goulomllllamr'y Wow-on times from “That Night in Rio” with “Boat Hallo” mull “l, Yi, Yi, Vi, Yi." Anita Boyer W538 the opotl‘ight for the vocal on the first, Elem Horn sings the swcoml. “Boo Noll-,9” is played in a medium tempo while the coup" ling is played in the foot “samba” rhythm. 'Ef‘ho fiveelhwm (Continued from page fwe) Delta Tau Delta held its "Courtesy Week” last week and the celebrations were enjoyed by active and pledgeo alike. To start 017 the week, the pledge class tubbed some of the actives and than a brawl begun which ended with everyone going into the tub at least once. A formal initiation was held Sunday and a banquet mes held directly after the initiation for the new actives. Former president Keith Hoffman was held up on the Indiana El platform last Wednesday night, and two more Delta were held up in front of De LaSalle High School a week ago. We suggest that the boys be more careful in the future about bumping into knives. Tuesday evening the actives and pledges of Sigma Epsilon have been invited by their Alumni to a supper and smoker at the Goldenrod plant; the new and old members of Sigma Alpha Man will discuss; plans for the coming year.