(Ellw ‘Wu? “K” “Rafi
“faLWfi'WQK” “*7 hm
Tim: mooovmw
my Wflgmfi ll? hflfifi’.

Greetings little men and womon,

ls this what they call happy livin"?

12 concrete. experiments plus (i in juice. and
mach,

Gods, right now, it’o summer school, by
heck,

RS. (Can’t forget that eighty page geology
report either).
* it fit 4:

Dangerous‘. Departure

Boss: “National clcfcuoc makes moo-power
oo scarce we must replace all vacancies; in
the plant with women."

Employment; Mgr; ”Jul-it, as you say-43m;
l‘m afraid we’ll ruin things if we throw a
wcnch mm the works.“

a: ll

A clergyman, making his Sunday after-
noon calls, stopped at the home of one of
his parlshcrs. Bill, Jr., answered the bell.
“Dad ain’t here,” he said, “he‘s gone over
to the golf club.”

The pastor frowned and Bill hastened to
explain: "Oh, he ain’t playln’ golf, not on
Sunday. He just wem over there for a
few highballs and some mull poker.”

1¥ W: of 95

Slice: “Changing a tire ch?“

Oil/o Bark-lacs: “No no, I lost gel. pm
every low miles and lock it up to give 5% a
root.”

>4; ’3 3'; Ale
A smooth definition of lwiL—“oupcriimlod
hence,"
41 o ‘7? ll!
Not Guilty
There was on old, lady from flrmceix,
Accused of wearing two bootleg:
She said, “It’s not twee;
That’s a thing I don’t do;
You are simply obseroél‘w my omsolco.
#1 3h 93‘ ll;

"This dress is rather long; for me, Do
you have anything shorter?”

“No, I’m sorry I don’t,” replied the owl/£53
woman. “May I suggest that you try the
collar department.”

29 1r :5! #3

Larry Llcbrocllt: “Hear about; film :lwl‘ol
prcélcomcm the local flagpole. glitter Who
in?”

Bill Barton: “Hi5 wife alien! oml he. haul lo
ole at. half must.”

:1: it: “26 :9:

Old Lady: “Little boy, I woulclh’t hick my
sister around the street like that if 1 wore
you.”

Little Boy: “Oh, that’o all right. She’s
deco.”

5: $- 7? 1‘:

ficiinition of a Smile: A light in the win-
dow of the face which shows that lhc heart
is at homo.

3%: =6! 9?

Roch Donoghue: “What’s wrong with you
tonight? I haven’t heard a squeal-z om of
you.”

.She: “Well, I’m pretty well oiled.”

‘rl< 9.: s" A:

“Why don’t you put mo’ Hell in yo" ser-
mon, Brother Williams?”

“Well, when l gibs ’em too much of it, do
congregation makes slch a noise fannin’
lieyself‘ i has to order a recess?"

As the hours flew by he kissed her and
held her more tightly, more passion/Melly.
Then suddenly he relaxed. He was (lead.

=9: 9.: 5% 3%:

How times have changed! Once, litile hoyo
liked to play with soldiers and lime girls
liked to play with dolls. Now it’s visa-verso.

x 7k at

“What’s the matter,” she queried, “don’t
you love me any more?”

“Oh sure. I was just resting.”

You, Too?

“Mister, did you hit that little girl?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Gosh! What a wallop!”

Herb fiochicmann: “I got tight. in order
to compose a new drinking song."

hob gaigh: “Anal did it work?”

Herb: “No, I couldn’t..get beyond the first
two bars.”

(continued on page seven)

 

 

TECE‘KNOEJOGEI NEWS

   

0h, the moon shone bright on prelly Shaw-
ncc,
We spent. our mawnec,
Gut there at Shawnee.
Maybe l Should quit mull Simply pen prose--
llut here‘s some informal ixmuemlooll
Informal lonucmloo
They swing from coasly lo coasty with

Toasty, but to limit the subject, and bring‘

it closer to home, I tool»: a look-see in on
the funsters swing at the Junior Informal,
backed up by Mr. l’aol. Whilst pecking
through the potted palms; bordering the
swimming pool, I saw Mr. Morris tripping
('27) the light fantastic with two Lewis coeds.
(NO, not. at one and the some time!) Bola
Axiom-lion and his steady, Camellia Camera,
grabbing a few split second cartoons of a
little group staging some sort of a sit down
strike on the main smirway. Bonnie Smith
staged a repeat performance (we May 6
issue) with his specialty on the flat tire, on
titled “Flat Tire Fantasy.” Chili and mo
moles seem to have carried the vote for
the host may of picking up a few vitamins
after an evening of clips and lwir‘lo. And by
ihe way, congrats to flhoslcr Swan for pos‘
sesoing the boniest and bunnies: pair of
male limbs. Call for Earl Cm‘rolll Milan and
Joel: barking lo the wild waves on the
shores of Lake Michigan. The report came
in that. it was vetldy vetldy cold out there.
H-m-m. Well, a (lry . . . all, high old time
was had by all. Time now to lake oil the
water wings and splash like a flash back
l0 ll’l‘.
llcwio Moo 0‘ Tripc

’l‘l‘tm. Strawberry Blondie. in the movln'
pitclmm; hasn‘t. got. ill thing on our gal, Jame
llcwwulcn. That. new henna hoiwlo lo lor-
rlilc. Holley, ll can goo lllc glow lroxnllcl'ozl
.«lml by tho way, lollzlo, you ooh ouwl alpha
lug again . . . {he Swings. have boon out,
and llcornoy’o flown ofl again.

That wasn’t the rainbow following the
proverbial showers downing; over Lewis
last. Tuesday, either; boom when 1 dashed
over, I found Boo ”Tiny Ton” Meyer all
decked out in a. terrific lorry clam job, guar-
rmtccd to knock eyes out ml. [lily paces]!

Those. pear clamped woes walling over
WCFL ’iutllcr night belonged lo none other
than that old publicity hound, Maj. “l"ot
Flanagan” Smale. Local boy maltos goocllll
And 1 also hear rumors; to me cllccl mm.
the trio have a radio audllion in me offing
if they can increase their reperlolrc lo more
man three numbers. Come on, polo, with
a onemlwom

If you’re wondering as to me cause of
the slight breeze being blown about these
hollowed halls, it’s just £11033 {willow boom-
gzz'clc skirts that the wimméiz are emptying
their piggy banks for thew {lo-yo. Swoosh]!
And while we’re on the subjecz o3] peounlory

lll‘pomlog.’

 

problems, you’d better come across with
that allȎln.portnnt dollar payable to one
Charles Rolohardt, Jr. Elmer Blul‘t’s chief
comqwm‘tor in. low pressure salesmanship.
Ho’s utilizing that super-salesman personal
12/ of his in. selling annuals.

Questions and answers Department.

ls Jack Clmhoian still penning epistolary
triumphs to the lewcll twine?

Why does Joel: Waro‘s daily itinerary to
UT always end up at. Central and Madison
at the same limo every A.M.?

The Gamma Rho pledges are really the
happy little problem children these (lays,
with Art Pctlmrino putting in his appear»

once sans that cocky chapeau reserved for

the lowly pledges.

Prof. Matthews putting in a request. that
something be done about those *l!‘?xxm%1/2"
hats in class. And he an ever fond and true
Gamma Rho at that!!!

Don’t tell me that. the beautiful friend-
ship lwlxt George. Eli-evlkovoky and Davo
[Master is doomed for wreckage on the rocks!
It seems that the romantical kiddies share
similar sentiments in regard to Blanche
Fried and Florence Burtoook. Intrigue!
llamm-m-mm.

Bob \llclos' llliol devotion is really homo-
Illing quite. beautiful and touching. lilo
claiming the etching of the girl in tho whim
bathing null. located in the (lot-h rcccoscs
of his wallet. iii hlo mother. Sure! All of
which romimlo mo:

WANTED: One cage for Mam-Eming
whims as a means of defense against his
weakness for biting . . . on anythingll

Now, if you happened to witness a line
of xiaggerlng students filing our, of the Tea
room last 7'uesday,_1rmy 1 refer you to
Ihooe Special Stagge'r Sundaes which we're
whipped up by Vi Tukich and her special
egg 7mg toppings.

‘ ITEM llanqilct Bull

l’rol‘. llibb had Mickcy Walker sailing
down the fairway when he haired the deep
(lurk secret that he had personally been
giving her golf lessons. Now we know
where Miclil‘y really acquired that perfect
fol-ml!

lilill you note illc young lhilloo prcoom, Eor
the lli‘h't limo, ill Elm Student Algoociatlon
banquet? Bu: really, how wold you Inigo
thcm when every speaker favored the fair
gathering with a few carefully solootcd com-
plilmcnls.

film}! we‘re proud of our boy, Dean Clan-kl),
for holding up the llcwio cm] 01' tho pri-
g now.

So we bid adieu to you for this week, we
want to remind you young lovlies to be on
the: lookout for Lhose scouts who are search—
ing out. every nook and cornel‘ for the girl
who will be chosen as the popularity queen
of the. Senior semi—formal, June 7. llmilc
molly, girls! Fllfll‘fl UllllUMNlS’l‘

 

The Am exhibit is back on me ohclves at
the Institute now. It was a. great Show and
involved lots of work; but we hall plenty of
good times on the big drive . . . Siuz‘ri-Mgh
(a long sound expressing relief)! The profs
at the Institute have pull their little white
whips in moth balls for another year, and
once more we Am- com lead a ooh/mill (or
nearly normal) life.

Mal-finch came to class Momloy!

Goody Steinbcrg has been, of late, wearing
a pmh from the Institule to Sonny Welssw
man’s office. An athletic award has Some-
thing to do with these actionHongratsl
. . . Wonder what Bill Dunlap lost in the
rear seat of his car last. Friday? Incidental-
ly, we hear that “Middle of. the Pot ” Sonor—
man has some sort of pull with the forest
preserve police—and uses it too!

PARBON ME!

Float long ago l stated that; Tiny Pillhcr
wcighed 280 pounds;. Recently, in a hurl:
lone, be corrected mo, claiming to weigh
380 pounds.

Shank, the Ford fancier, recen‘sly con-
ducted a 6 hour running debate with the
soph class on “Fords vs. Automobiles,” met
bitter defeat—silence reigns . . Last Wed.
the sophs decided that Bluestcin was a
pot, and wrote testimonials to that effect in
eight languages . . . Thurs. was Shorlok
Day. His locker emptied itself like a dump-
truck, and his coat got up and walked away.
That began the festivities—the notorious

     
 

rmlstuche lo drooping.

Nervous tension of the pro-graduation
day period is sending the seniors to pot.
After a touching little drama (ihe man
with a, tin ham) that they enacted the
other day, one is inclined to believe that the
whole mob is squirraly . . .

Can’t tell (my thmg about the juniors,
haven’t seen them for nigh on to two weeks.
Must be plate girders and Seegrist note
books.

ll’chm and Pointck can’t seem to find
dates for the Senior Formal. They’ve been
considering high school gals, art school gals,
and just plain gals, but all to no avail. In
the mean time, Harem O’Brien listens to
their pleas with a sinister snicker on his
face, and bluntly refuses to drag out any
of his numerom N. U. contacts.

Farewell greetings are, and have been
in order. The Junior Dynamo, Ogden How
mzford left last week—end for the conscien—
tious objectors’ camp. Ami Ripper Rozemslci
will leave shortly for basic training in the
A717 Corps.

The news we’ve been waiting for! This
Friday the stage will be set for that stw
pendous combat—the junior—senior base ball
game. The fracas will take place in the aft»
ernoon, and in the evening, there will be
music to sooth the savage beast as the AAS
presents its annual record dance in lhe
lounge of the Student Union.
will»; Yl‘llli‘ll’ll.

 

 

MAY an, ion

.m—mmWamfifiwamMWWWMWWWWNWWMWWMMWflWSWNW

 

 

becomes necessary for a guy to sit down
to a typewriter and start pounding out the
slush of the. week, there is always a nigger

in the woodpile in the form of a beginnlnéf» .

why there are cases of newopaper men ac-
tually getting blolto so that they can get
an idea for a beginning. And now that. we
got this damn thing: started, let’s mart lot-
ting a few cats out. of the proverbial bagn
Up and at. cm, men!

a: 2a v1: ,m

Bill Lease and Bud Havllk must. be in
love. Imagine going clear to Michigan State
for dates and it. must. be dozens of miles
from Chicago.

’lt * lid

This tale comes to us from Lewis. Two
gullible frosh mocha, Gideon and Johnson,
walked up to the sixth floor and there were
dcpantsod. Being nervy lads, they went;
through the halls amid cocdsa, etc., to search
for their ill-fated pantaloonsl Dean Clarke,
upon finding this gruesome twooome strolk
ing nonchalantly about with cigarettoo (lang-
ling from their lips, approached the lads
and stormy ramped out “No smoking in
here youse bums!"

4; ll: Ill oh

Our erstwhile. toclolulor, Julian “Pretty
lloy” liloworo, woo noon in o well-known
Mllwaulcco brewery very professionally
handling a Holloolulr. All for tho lntorool; oll
slclcnoc no «loom; but much (lcxtorlly points
to past. experience llmngh ho clalmo tho
contrary!

‘m l: l: a:

The two hydraulic kids, Blttncr and Fil-
ko have introduced that course at North-
western. Any day or night; (their spare time
of course) you can find them working prob
lems at Willard hall, the Big Dipper (sorry,
Evanston‘s dry) or Deoring meadow.

l: m 2:4

l—lerb Hansen, that Elgin demon, had a
swell time the other night, they tell him.
He spent o. good portion of: the evening
walking atop tables and talking to himself;
but the. payoff was his sweet parting with
J. R. Freedom. Scooper's Note: Hansen, the
only place the boys kiss one another good
bye is; France.

v; :9 ix Ht

Word comes to us of an unbelievably at»
sent-minded coop who actually handed in
a lab report before it was due. This is pretty
serious business; these days so we won’t
mention any names.

’5‘ '94 >3

In spite of the fact 'that ”Footy Fruity”
Krumbein could get no one to match him
with “boiler makers,” we pick Beta Omega
Nu to win by o beer. It’s been rumored that
Jerry Bunce is on the HON team, and he’s
been practicing for seven years.~—_Scooper’s
Note: Jerry will definitely graduate this
year, he Says.

=i: it >l< \‘K

Ed Moore spends: all of his apart: t’imo ritl-
lngg the “L." (m a recent date at. Nomlawoslb-
cm Edi spent 5 boom commullng. “Upon
awakening he brilliantly remarked: “ll/lay
did l pay seven come; again?" We don’t got
it either.

ITSA banquet FLASH! The way Prof.
Sammy Bibb fashioned a diaper out of
Coach Bill O’Brien’é hankio at a moment’s
notice indicales the souzhern gentleman’s
versatility to .the umpteenlh degree: math
prof, master (‘2) golfer, ladies’ man, and
now, nursemaidli Quite a variety for any
guy.

:3 * #5

Ami now we’re gonna (gull and start real»
lug up for that soph picnic at Cl‘ysml who
mm Sumlzly because we’ro gonna have to
(lo a lot of scooping to @mel‘ everybody
out there. lilo: {lon’t feel one sole hoyo, loz-
we're. gonna have an Endlon gimme $0 llolp
us: 10mm» youno mugs-s in tho woozloll

Ellollhlll SCGlll’l‘fllm