TEGHNOLOGY MEWS W @T Junior Week is over and no one can say that it wasn’t what it was cracked up to be with mechanical cows, depantsing, beard growing contests and other events too nu; merous to mention. Now all we have to look forward to is that minor fact that exams come after three more weeks of school. * ll: 1* * Aged Burlesque Queen to Manager— "Re. member, I am the star of this show!” Manager-«"1 know you’re the star, but I wish you were a little meteor!” >3 alt #2 )k Our grandmothers believed that there was a destiny which shaped our ends, but the modem girls place more faith in girdles. n 5% ii: is “All,” said the guest as he and his host approached the house, “I see your dear son and daughter awaiting us on the pom-ch." “Well, not quite,” said the host. "You see. the girl in the short dress is my mother, and the young fellow in riding breaches is my wife.” it ll: ’3 15' She had a taste for whlmllng, A taste that's not permissible, But still I don’t object lo ll, The packer is so klmiable. we: if an e “l have a pain in my abdomen,” mid illc rookie to the army doctor. “Young man," replied the medioo, “olficcrs have albllomcao; sergeants have eiomaclm; YOU have a bellyacho.” as: # I? it: It was lunch hour at the lime worha, and Pat’s two buddies, deciding to play a liltle joke on him during his abeence, drew the features of a donkey upon lhe back of his coat, which he left behind. In due lime Pat returned, and presently have in eight hear- ing the lime decorated coal. “What’s the trouble, Pal?” called one, trying to appear indifferent. “Nothing much,” replied Pol, equally in» different, "only I’d like to know which one of pee wiped your face on’me cool?” at at wk 1; First Wife: "My husband to a genllenmn. He never walks into the room when I’m we dressing.” Second Wife: Neither does mine, he waits until I‘m through.” ’1: $4 3:1 kl- Thore was a young girl from Cologne; A maid will) a will of liar oia'gne. She seemed quite demure, But 3 couldn’t make euro Till I managed to gel llcr alogno. =l< as: #1 is Help Nowell: “I hear you neck.” Some J5me: “Next time I’ll try to be more quiet.” a: e l: o A girl was entertaining her girl friend and was pouring the tea, when her friend spied a full length nude painting, hung on the wall. ”thy Mabel, that is a painting of you, did you pose like that?” “Why yes, it’s me, but of course I did not pose for it. Mr. R. painted it from memory.” FASEEON NOTE . Women are wearing the same thing in hrassieres this year. a «a: e a: Bob Olson: “The girl next door ought to pull down her shades.” Larry Liebrecht: “Has she no shame?” Bob: “Worse than that! She has no shape!” #14 :1: 9k >k Most girls attain their ends by not taking enough exercise. '9 5‘; fl“; 598 Game Warden: “Hey, you. Don’t you know that the bass season isn’t open yet? What are you doing with that big one on your string?” Angler: “Why, you see, Warden, he’s been taking my bait all morning, so I tied him up until I’m ready to go home.” 0H MEN! @pen flamingo Amidst the hustle and bustle of last work many incidents made the first Illinois 'l‘ccll open house a memorable event. Not. only will the exhibits and displays hr. long ram mammal-ed, but also many students and their activities made the wool: more color» £111. “See Dorothy Thompson as a girl has/tet- ball player"’——oisitors to open. house were audibly and forcibly enticed into the publica~ lion and activities office in the best Maxwell Street manner by Bud Carlson. Glamour -— the Lewis coeds dressed in while uniforms supplied informallon and directions in; well as causing a lilllc (lis- tm'lmncc with a group of Armour boys lcd by Robert J. Creugtm arrived looking for a glimpsc of the. scum :5ch campus fr. - lcrnity plans which they claimed they had to male to Lewis to sec. But. the Lewis follows were affected own more. fine glimpse, of a certain uslwrcltc and Art Pct— lcrino fell 1’? the stairs. ’l‘oo hall he hasn‘t eyes in the buck of hit: head: it would have spared him the llruioes. In the afternoon on Monday President Heald was seen escorting on admiral from. the Great Lakes Naval Slation on. a tour of the building. Dozmmtairs the “sailor boy" chauffeur was spending his time amusing the little gal with the counter. Looks like It uniform sure takes over. And was her l‘ncr realm—Rumor has it that Elaine Simon was right. on the job. Slim woe trying; to point out. the mosl lmporlam rxlm bits. and was rather lloorml to discover she was talking to Mm. llodm'vaaml Elli? hadn't mcnlimwd psychology. Flash: The latest thing in iashiomwdohn Baikal; in his capacity as head junior mar» shall just couldn’l miss anything, not even the home economics Style Shfill‘. While on the subject of males with John as their cog/nonzero. John, the elevator man, was cope rially dressed up for open house. Even to the corsage.’ And John, the policeman. from Armour and friend of all Lewis coeds, came over lo see how the “other half“ lives (”III learn the facts of chemlelry. [Joel and Found: A group oi the coopera. tire clay}; girls were observed wandering around the corridors with that lost look. On inquiry. they mid they were looking; for Dr. Lee. Incredible, isn’t it? Perhaps they .vhould have asked Miss Cardigan in the lost and lound office. 071 the oubject of coups-«- TWaller Slanla practically wore a groove in lite third floor traipsing burl: and ,lorlh be tween the exhibit and the office where he could gaze at Miss Usher. {l5 latex-carting as the exhibit lluell wall the way in which the Major atmmmml to throw oil Dr. llodcr’x reaction time ilcvlce. Even proficseors don‘t ream. loo lay-At. Epfiflk- lag ol‘ reactions, those of some oi" the Al'- mom' own New fast. enough after they had their blood typed. Maybe ammonr ought lo tell the-m what type l‘oor momma. Headaches were not an unhnmm at Lewis during Open House. As well as has rig an ex hibit which was especially outstanding, the ritemiolry department furniahed all faculty members, ushcrettes, and student assistants with aspirin. In the home cc dclnlmmen! more was :2 911190133}! need for the aforementioned drug. l: took Open House to show the girls that they couldn‘t. burn the candle at both ends. All of us can’t go out to traumas-19759 39 see “Old Faithful” so the physics depart‘ ment brought the some effect to Lewis in the form of the New Faithless Geyser. Questions surely arose as to the cause of the erup‘ tion. Perhaps it was Dr. Countryman letting off steam again. From Riverside came the “Quiz Kids” for Dr. ‘Walker'e education project. 'Ehere to answer qucetion as well. as make record- ings, they reversed the procees when they tom-ed ilsc building. Each exhibit they watched brought forth question after sauce lion. And don’t think some of the Students weren't perspiring‘ in their search for an- swers. Especially were the boys in the machine shop disturbed. Although Monday was the only day for exhibits at Lewis, Open House was not over. A large group of students invaded Armour the rest of the week. Skits, rehearsals, anti just watching the fun (as well as the boys) occupied their i‘lmc. Indeed none, who saw the firef, Open House of HT come and go, will ever forget ll. fillemleol Well, the calendar says it‘s time to slip hack into the old groove after this hectic weak of Kiss—{Mllctcrs, tlcymlntsinag, mu] Varsity Shows. The girla blame drooping: unaware] for lluosc llluc acccsorlon tlmy‘rc wearing undcr llu-ir cycfi, but we lmow . . . we known Everybody duck. now. while l shoot a few 0pm llmmc oddities at ycz: I’Syclmlogy lac-ones Major “Ml-ml Eye" Smalc a bit of? the beam in his attempt to land that little dart right in the center of things. Probably left his bi-focols in his other pants. That grue» some gadget, the Lie Detector, failed to rec- ognize the value of little white lies; especial- ly in regard to little Kathleen Walm-‘s ve- hement denial concerning her future as the Little Woman. “llamas!“ John Henry ilmaln (again?) smiled wanly when the subject of salaries was mentioned. but. that nervous little needle told all. Now let’s hop up- stairs to the Style Show, and View those. beautcous models and those little numbers they concocted with a more twist of the wrist. Slyle Show Ellllmllgo Edwin Wrinficlo sitting through the show three times to View his favorite designer, Doria Lislik. A triple feature without even a Mickey Mouse lhrown inll ’S-amazin’. And did you hear Elizabeth Little Snyder, she of the happy housewife fame, as MC. ol‘ the show? Glad to see you again, Mrs. Snyder! While we’re in the department. where the girls perfor‘n'l their culinary cut-ups and hold their sowing solrees, Lhis week’s bunch of budding ('rocuses goes to Mickey “Talker for making like a fire extinguisl’ler when a candle held a little conflagratlon confah with a paper (lolly. I hear Barker Curlew: calling from down the News room way, so let’s: all slide down the lmnnister, and what’s; cookin‘. ’I'hom- classy curtains, the mucous radio, and Dorothy 'l'hompoon’s picture aniong the Bloomer Girls of “118 were quite the (Imm- ing cards for the News [loom Niche. Congrats to the Women in Whlte for the efficient. manner in which they conducted thelr sight—seeing tours. I noted one damsel quite perplexed when asked how the patient in room 12 was doing; and another quite shocpinh after politely asking the janitor if he would he so kind as to register on the second floor. Sylvia Wrislo’s blonde beauty so enhanced by her white outfit that Walter .Slnula just couldn't resist. And what about that. sailor boy talking: it all over with Miss Masher on the first floor? Lot’s give out with a few husky cheers for Mr. filupple’s grand job, and for Dean Clarkc‘u consideration in granting us Thurs- day to recuperate l?) in. It's people like you that. we like!!! Now, let’s hop on “L“ over to 33rd and Federal, and SW what’s happening to our soul]: aidc colleagues. It can’t, be my hangover. but I keep hear- ing bellsll . . . and coming from the student lounge, they ore, tool? Well! Do these hleary old eyes deceive me? There’s Elmer-“the boss; fiddle plunkerwbreaking all records with his order of blue plale oscillations. All hail, Super Marl}! Bill Massman and .lzmlo Gal-lot. not exactly caught in the ‘haShv ful’ rut, either; but what happened to lift! and Erwin Powell? Or maybe her mind just wasnlt on her work. Butkus did look quite fetchin’ in that white outfit of hile It is understood that Carl “Zipper Mullen" Anders-um, that crack Mech, has moved his cot out to the famed Madeiras danccland. Aida of Jobs] Jive fame enhanced her vo- cal rendition in the Varsity Show by coyly rolling those “oomph” eyes at blonde Ray Simpson who was a first row customer for both shows. After the second performance Dorothy Giannbelluca showed her initiative by unhesitatingly taking part in the tele- vision demonstration, and was photogenic enough to be taken for Brenda Marshall of screen fame. However, malty shyly but firmly refused to take part in the Kiss-O- Meter exhibit. 'Was it because Joe and Bucky looked too wolflsh or because Steve is down Florida way? My spies tell me that the Senior Scml- Formal is tho next activity lo ”bear investi- gating, so let’s all make like the FEE (Fun- ny Buolness lnvcstlgators) and just see what goes on as; this here shindig! lions, THE FEFTH OGLURlelST 0w! My head! Wham arc my pants? Who hit one with that. Nightly (load chicken“?! (lot. a hold of that (lmnn hone bolero they murdor mall Gal. llm Minimum-rip their ammo (film-«kill 'cml! And so with much (ejaculations: all those, the lust tracce of .llmlor Wook ladle away and once more youso budding engineers are going to got, on the scholastic beam—you hope! lll wot»; fun even though your honorable scribe was: literally (locum- lnlzcd—v—and than omm-ll w: n: FLASH‘HB While Johnny Butkus was hav- ing his; hands full with Junior Week activi- ties, Elmer ‘Ratzel was seen in the Student. Union with his hands full of Mrs. Butkus! 2|: )1: ‘ Official communique from the Musical Club trip as received by carrier pigeon (the pigeon stopped 01]" for a few short beers our route and consequently it was slightly de~ toyed). As soon as the boys hit Rockford town a few of them decided to trot on over to lhe college campus and beat the rest of the boys to the draw; they did, and were promptly pinched for ti‘espassing!——«.Iim Wat/cm- was given an honorary membership to the Rockford [leer Guzzlers A. C. in a (ml/1. ceremony held in the Spanish Room of the Hotel Nelson/J——And this is news—those rollicking civils were all in bed by 1:00 AM. all/tough Buck- Donoyhue Icepl the boys up to an unearthly hour with hie act of seren- r/(ling hill~ baby (pillow) into the land of rump! dreams. Most of the boys arrived in Il’cnosha in absolutely no condition to Sim/~- no, not that—«they were just hoarse from too much extra-curricular yodeling. And then there was IVItlwaulceew-good old brew~ cry town-where the boys were the guests of Poppa Pabst. (The rest is censoredll) Quite an uneventful trip back: to old Chi for all the laddies were poohed out. The end. v W W tl< POP/Ell AlllllU'l' THE FLIGHT on AN EGG Through the air it llcw This» whirling; olllccl of white Anal mm the mouth of a Frosll 'l‘his rotten (egg (lid light! (The above pome was written by Miss: .lumc Dennis who visited Armour last Fri- day as a representative of Nixon County, 111., and who witnessed her first Ruehw—in more ways than one! She graciously accept» ed our invitation to help us: write thls “best colyume in the moon”) '4: ll! =l= Open House Chatter: ’l‘llc Mechanical Cow really knocked ’em cold as the boys moved along and milked Old Bessie every hour—m ’l‘he ll’l‘WA and all its affiliates broke all previous records for high-powered wolfing at, the Open House dance—J‘l‘loncy Chile" Spit-s getting all the male visitors’ questions while the rest of the marshals didn’t have anything 10 dow'l‘hc Vlu'l'lity follow relieving the serious vein with its snappy music and pretty girls—And last but not least, the lovely picture of all the Armouriles leading their sweet lady-friends to Lhe lounge and practically murdering them in an attempt to ring the gong on the Kiss-O-Meterll e. a: :k 2'5 Although the old proverb relates, that “ill the, spring a young; man’s fancy turns to Bock beer,” our Dick Stonclmm found than the old version about love applied to his cam-l (in the recent concert tour, Dickie (that's what 5hr. calls him) tell howl ovcr hot-ls into the old ahluash pot over a Rock ford collage llcoutll’, Barbara Lewis, and the boye had all they could do to drag him away. However, we have to compliment him on lain eye for this fair maiden is a model and really has plenty on the ball” (Editor’s Note: ch heard that the lad is carrying on a very interesting correspond- once with this cutie!) 24 >1: an e And now kiddies we’ve got to (luck so that we can get out (A) the Shawnee Illa lime to get a good squint at Bea Mathews Yes- slr! So until the next, time, thlo is your old Sooner Scoopcr and his guest columnist raga/ling oll‘lll SGQK’ER Sllll-(lla’RllS