TECKNOLSGY NE‘WQ MW ll MW (Toronto 1:59 we. » “5Mlt5‘flfitfl’n ME? veer: otoomacw ow woma- rr mum Listen my friends and you shall hear The campus jokes of an engineer. Some are good and some are bad. Some are funny and sumo are sail. (What do you think. huh?) :t v: =2: c PIETY A young flying officer, stationed some- where near Egypt, while flying near the Great i’ymmiels, carrying out exercises in xmvigations, and working with a sextant to discover this exact. position, sullllcnly mmco to the pilot one} cold: ”Take off your hot!” “Why?" “Balance, according to my calculations, we are now inside St. Paul’s flathcfiml." 9k 336 fl 5" I tried to kiss her by the mill One starry summer night, She shook her head and sweetly said, "No, not by a dam site.” ll: >1: in at We always called a spade a made until we hit our foot with (me the other day. ll: ’71 >66 DIE Remember? “Now,” she asked, “is there any man in the audience who would lot his; wife he slondcrcd and say nothing? if so, stand up” A meek little man rooc to his foot. Tho lecturer glared at him. “Do you moan to say you would let your wife he sluntlcmtl and say nothing?” she cried. “0h, l'm sorry," he apologized. "l thought you said slaughtered.” 2:: l: as up Don’t Get Uo Wrong; He: “In the spring a young mum; fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” She: “Yes, big boy, but you think cprhlg is here every time you got lnto a warm room.” :l: ’14 >2: 1? Once there was a womou driver who went to Heaven. She knocked off cue of the gates going in. ll; o 91: Lil: A berze'rlcy old nurse named, Misc Joltco Was hitting her patients with stoic/ex. When taken and jailed, She sadly bewailed, “I just like their pitiful moauo.“ 3% 11,: E! it: So They Foiutctl On a strcctmr a man gave a woman a seat. She tainted. 0n recovering, She thank- ctl him, and he fainted. 3?: wl: #1 on Joe chhuwh: “Haven’t E met you bcfm‘c my charming young lady?“ Miss (Jo-co: “Well, your phi-ooze sccmls familiar." rt: 95 at 4: A teacher sent a note home bccause she felt an unruly boy was undermining tho discipline of the Whole room. “Your boy is the brightest one in the room, but the most mischievous. What shall I do to him?" She wrote the mother. “Do what you please,” came the reply. “I’m having my troubles at home with his father.” “I’ll raise you two,” said the wealthy lady to the orphans. A man waiting patiently in a post office could attract the attention of neither of the clerks. “The evening cloak,” explained one of the girls, “was a rodingotc ucoign in gorgeous lame brocade, with fox fur and wide pagoda sleeves.” At this point; the long-suffering customer broke in with: “l wonder if you could pro- vide me with a neat red stamp with a dinky perforated brim, tout ensemble delicately treated in reverse with gum, something about two ccnés." A: 39’» Ila 3% Now, as one omitting said to the other stocking, “filo long, 3 gotta run.” «all MEN! {E Woo @rccto Hod fit. GODS Roller-t .l. Crougun Bella Tau Delta held a party last Satur- day night to celebrate anything that they could think of at the time. Unique decora- tions gave the pretty girl friends something to talk about when the boy friend would rather she’d use her lips for a more practi- cal purpose. The single freshman at the Belt house who received a “flunk” notice, was told that he could not sleep in class llcrcat‘tcrmit doesn’t pay dividends. The Belts will hold their Founder’s (lay celebra- tion on May 9 this year. Bolt Prositlcnt Bob ()rmgao was initiated into Tau Beta Pi last Saturday and is he happy! The Rho Delta eliminated the Delta Tau boys from the baseball tourney Last week in a slug test hold at Armour. The lntcrfratemity Coun- cil held their" meeting last Thursday at the Dell house. This was the final meeting of the year. Phi Kappa Sigma held an election of offi- cers on April 28 and Hobart Burma was the “fall‘~hoircd" lad chosen for the presidency. Other ofl’lccrs include i’zml Bocrckholtm, vice—president; Rlchartl Haulicotor, secre- tory; and Leo Orsl, treasurer. The Phi Kup house was again turned into a night club last Saturday night, ‘ilay 3, when the fol- lows turned out to enjoy one of the popular “Cabaret” parties. There was dancing to the newest of the new popular records. Abount midnight a light supper was served bullet style. Congratulations arc in order for former l’rcsidcm Robert Grztonhorg who old an excellent job while he was ”proxy” of the Phi K2193. Bob was very active in the social affairs of the lntorfrotclmlly Council and will he missed. Moon filgmu Phi trlumohetl ovor Delta (continued on page seven) fllrochlc out)? WM havoc Without a doubt, “Arsenic and Old Lace,” 3% the top straight (non—musical) play of the cocoon, to (late. This; apparent takeoff on movie mysteries combines the rilllculouo with the more ridiculous, tho morbid with the sublime, and all possible permutations of the four elements mentioncd. ll” you like comedy, the ridiculous; you’ll (lie ovor the murders. Whether you like your murder sweet and gentle, or brutal and! terrible; wl‘lethcr you like your comccly clcvcr and subtle or full of body and blunt, you will he sullgfied. The action takes place in the home of the M‘Jeet, maniacal, gentle, idiotic, hilarious Brewster-s: two splnster aunts, Abbie and Martha, sweet and gentle, with a; you for altruistic murder; Jonathon, a rlcwly re- lumczl nephew, black sheep, blocltfluord, with a yen for bloody murder; Tcrltly (as in Roosevelt), idiotic nephew, with a yen for the Panama Canal; and Mortimer, neph- cw, drama critic extraordinary, wéth a you for the Rcvcrcnd’s daughter, all contributr mg to make up the delightful Brcwctcr clan. Aiding and abetting the Brewoterg are; Jon nothan’s accomplice in crime, Dr. Einstein, scvcral policemen, a couple or comacs, twelve dead men, made so by the two old ladies, and a window seat—401835; it. Eric von Strohcim and Laura Hope Crows, as Jonathan and Abbie Excavator, hood the cast. Stroheim is in the villain role, which he carries off in his usual horror-full fashion. However, he adds to his usual (ita- hollc self some very interesting comedy. Von Stroheim and Miss Crews are compe— tently supported by Effie Shannon as spin- ster aunt number two, Martha, Herbert Cor- tel as Teddy; Clinton Sundberg as anti- ohlcgl’natlc Mortimer; Henry Charm: of. Dr. Einstein; Helen Twelvetrces as Elaine Har- per; Harry Erbine as Rev. Harper; and the window seat as a temporary grave. It would be criminal to try showing more of the play—«its surprises are terrific. Enough said that it is just What you need to make you laugh for the week following, smile to yourselves for another three days, and feel just plain good for another couple. Putting it plainly, “Arsenic and Old Lace” seems to be just the play for adding impetus to the trend taking place, here in Chicago; a trend of bringing in more than just'the Circus, “Ice Follies,” and “Gone With the Wind,” to satisfy the demands of a potentialv ly large theater going audience. roomy vv mo! ljor ll GODDESSES By Helen h’lzzl‘Zttllo {l‘hny any that “in tho opt-inc: a young man's: fancy lightly turns: to thoughto of love" . . but what of the girls?? It scents that the Sligmos’ fancies: have turned to thoughts of circuscs and jamborccs! The week before last, the Sigmas enjoyed the thrills: of the Circus. and last Saturday the girls attended Northwestorn’s Annual Jam- boree, A good time was had by all. The girls will have their monthly meeting at the home of (I. ‘aco ’J'l‘agllcri. The Rommel“ fancies seemed to have turn- ed to horses and stables! lust Arms and Flor— ence Alder started their spring season on horseback. The girls picked the Edgcbrook stables; for the opener of the season last week. Home cc’cr Jeanette Macilnwkic is now stationed in the home service depart— ment of the Edison Co, and is working in the model house. The Lnnllltlas’ fancies have turned to mu- sic! The “Jubu Jive Sistct‘ls,” Allin, Jane, and Mary had prepared a trio arrangement of that popular song, “There’ll Be Some Chun— gos Made” . . . and song it at the Tech News staff party, on Saturday, April 26. The five pledges‘ fancies are still on thought of bow- ing, writing letters, and obeying the actives. Junior week and Open House will begin on Monday, May 5. The students from both Lewis and Armour have prepared an Open House musical Show. The sorority girls: from Lewis will participate in large num- bers. Aldo Kolrim, Mary lll‘liaehot', Lillian Snodgmss, Juno (loclct, Mary Ann linirsch, and Doris Tully of the Sigma Omicron Lambda Sorority; Mickey Walker, lt’ut Arm, ll‘loroncc Alder, E‘ilocu Robinson, Florianco Btlrtuock, Blanche litrlctl, Kappa Phi Delta; Violnt Tukich, Grace 'I‘aglicri, and Elinor Wick of Sigma Beta Theta will provide pure of the entertainment for the Open House show. xl rot [Velcro 0mm: 310nm“, oh (lpcn House . . . Mariska}?! can hardly hold a pencil these days. Doesn’t know what a bed looks like. Michackmn stayed down Friday night to work, but having had supper at Helslng’s he couldn’t see his drawing board. Honey Chilo doesn’t look so good; keeps going around muttering about Schenectady. But .lohmly choc is currently killing time with impersona- tions ol‘ Richthofen. Uses; glasses for goggles and a handkerchief helmet. Everybody to making models, missing nails, and muttering threats against a cer- tain “Slave Driver.” Not to mention swear- ing oh so softly. The juniors work 28 hours a (lay, especially Sundays. Even the seniors are coming to school these days. Nor are the sophs idle. A special feature of Junior Week will be the burial of Farrell on Tuesday. Maybe Borre will make it a double ceremony. . . . Art and Bob count bricks in their sleep, but Iron Man Boles doesn’t. Doesn't what? Doesn’t sleep! . . . And Martinek came to class Thursday . . . Meanwhile, the freshmen do the heavy hauling. Soph Special: Art Lillibridge and Wes Pi— pher invested two cents t’other day in an attempt to get weighed. Results—Art 228 pounds, Wes 280. The boys hastened away as the ccale collapsed. Where is Farrell’s hat? Sherlok’s was also gone for a while—the poor communist couldn’t talk through it for three days. Onc»l)cer-ond-a~prctzcl-Rozanski caused a ripple in the frosh-mud-wallow not so long ago. Trying to break the lease, hey? Lillie-S to the junior class. The boys met “sudden death” when their ball club met . two defeats in one week. The blame prob- ably rests in the laps of two people—Limb grcn got his signals mixed and thought he was playing soccer (we found out why he goes to church, too!) and Honey Chile, who failed to Show up and spur the boys on- ward. lHopcS for redemption are not lost, however. There has been vigorous and threatening talk of the coming annual jun- iorvsenior base brawl game. Confidentially, I hear the seniors are a bunch of softles. GUS Tl‘lill’fi’fl. MAY 6., 2mm. , .ummmmmmmumwmommmrmmm Grootingo am} solumtlono to all tlmusnmls ot‘ 0mm illouoc vloitors here to see what maker; tho little whoolo go 'rounll. [lint to the rest; of yousc lougo what rend you thiu rag wool: otter week We Say quota: suckers-l unquotol Atoll, by the way, 'it any of you people would lilac to holy lllmmllco lor- Britain or tho Greeks, whyrjuot own) up to the News ottlcc «luring 0pm llouoo whore you‘ll-o ‘lmnomblo’ reporters will loo _ more than glad to give you 5 to 1 that: tho coping bout the mantra oll‘ tho from: it: Fri» day's rushl! (l’. S.»-Couut your change ho» l'orc leaving-whit) rotunda!) DON’T FORGET In the crystal ball for Junior Week: The lclss-n-meler to score again as most popu- lm" exhibtt of open l‘muse; the juniors to win the inter-class softball tourney; mu’r- der on the campus; Sonny 'Welssmah to win the price for the Imobbiect leg at the Junior Informal; the Pi Kaps to capture the inter-fraternity sing while the Alpha Sigs are to bring home the bacon due to their fine "humming" m the inter-fraterni- ty pageant . . . Til-ill?) lIIIGGllllail.‘ ’ll‘LASlllll ill. the Blows party last Satur- day. Aldo Kuit'io v(alltumult-momphmt‘lmliy «la-ulotl any truth in that Jack llllhlllz'lntou trot pin rumor! Such higllwpowcrcd (lloniulo (lou’t; u-xm-tly mncll rlght null wo‘ro wotulcrlng! AND HESTEST Hats all to the soph chums. These bright lads are able to get a 93% yield from a so- lution containing only 50% of the stufi. According to Prof. Hamilton that’s pretty good but since things do not. look to be above board zeroes will be in order. DANCE All Bnumzm lmo gone otl’. tho (loop omit all for us attain-s ot' the heart :5 . Every morn- mg on hi5 way to ochool, our hero drops a note in his girl friend's; car which can. be found on 'lll‘ostcr fill, in lilvouotou. lilo a treat to ace this Illroballngnugfln omllo .clwcotly to h’imoolt hit him romantic litera- ture choc. 0F '1‘th Ella/lift “It’s a lie,” screamed Dickie Guetzaw as he looked at last week‘s Shovel. So saying he stormed the News office and futilely tried to convince your reporter that his daily date was his mother and not a girl friend. . . . Dickie you really must think us naive to tell us a tale like that. YE?» SIR Emcot Monk, the guy who woltlo via the mails, finally has mot; his (actual in Bob Morrio. Erucot’s gall Bonds him a thrco page letter to Bob’s nine page letter. Come Moll), give no the soot-ct; off your cameras. HIE Question of the Week: Could the fact that the soph mechs are having a picnic be the reason for the shortage of glasses in the lunch room? JUNIOR FLASH” Bill Shonc mull woman at ochool 3:25! Friday. llNll‘tlflMAlh The junior chemo who so foolishly chal- lenged any group at, school to a contest will fight B.0.N. Tuesday night. We pre- dict a draw with both sides losing. All“ The junior mcch class acting on behalf ot‘ R030 Sullivan, wishes to who thlu op portunity to set forth it plea for a (lot/c to the Junior Informal. [Ml applicants shoultl contact Rojo as soon as posollllo. The (loci— o‘ion of the judges will he considered: final, and in vow of tic, duplicate doom will be arranged. ' THE SHAWNEE One student may take notes in class be- cause of interest in a course, but Sopho- cles Dohos takes notes for reference on his dates. “Shakespeare” quotes this soph, “knew his stufi. It works like a. charm.” COUNTRY CLUB Helgh ho, it’s ofi‘ we go and it’s; m? they’ll go at. tho Frosyh-Soph Rush. What? Willy the pants, of volume. . Siltllll’fll‘t SGQGE’ERS.