Page 4

   

Gangway, they‘re after me. “filo? Ha,
ha, they‘re cvcrywhcrc. They lurk in dark
doorways and loop at you like Sim-wing
friends allow an incl: and a hall" steak. You
More goggle-am} no thcy swiftly propos»
sens your thoughts anal future. You can't
SH“ doubt the (lcmonn ll moan. “YES? lT’S
THE ARMOUR PLAYERS ANB THEIR
BEEP-LAED SCHEME 0F SELLHEG Tit)-
KE’E‘S FOR FRONT l’AGE . . . i”. S. i’m
trotting: mim' today.

If Ii: ’22 $4

Grandma: “I feel so much better now.
and 1 don't think there is anything wrong
with my appendix. But it was ’nice of the
new minister to call and see about it.”

Daughter: “But mother, that was no!
the new minister, that was a: ngiecioliet from
the city who examined you.”

Grandma: “Oh, he was r1 doctor, was he?
I lhought he was a little familiar for n
mininle‘r.”

i: a: It >6<
SEER
Ht‘ Mo :1 hot dog :«xzxndwiclx.
Ami roilcd hire eyes above.
Ho arm a half {Moon more.
And dim! of puppy love.
q: 11% 1! fl

FHGNT
Here‘s 1119 one about the mime who was
just showing the father the new holly.
“Do you want to speak so your wife?" aha
asked. "Oh, no," the man repliw. “we
haven'l spoken for two years.” "lint,"
gasped the astonished nurse. “aren‘t yon
the {other of this baby?" “Oh. yon,“ no no
plied, “we aren't that mad."
’6 ’3 fl 9}
PAGE
A cute little lass; approached lite flow“
walker and asked: "Do you have Milo-m
on this floor?”
The floonwallcer looked her over owl limo
remarked: “Yes, madam. but we monotony
them during business how’s.”

is an a «:2
SATEKDAY
Don‘t be “from of too many irons-L; in the
fil'f‘. if the firo is hot enough.
it it :‘s it
FEB.
John 15.: “Hello Lil, what are you doing
Saturday night?"
Lil: "Naming. ‘Why’F‘
John: “May l borrow
.4: pk

your Soap?"
It 5fi
22

Alice has been engaged as; a slewamom
and social hostess aboard lhc SS Alexan'
aria, which sails: tomorrow. Before lowing
pork, she will have he)" barnaclcs scmgaexl,

Momma Daily.
:l< w: :2: rt
8:36 P. M.
A musical lady from Ga.
mice sang in “Looming Ba."
fluid a friend the new! day,
“Pm oorcy to say

That high noic in C major fin."

* ’5 ’1: a:

“Hashing. the cook advises me that you
were badly intoxicated last night, am} lhal
you were trying to roll a barrel out of me
basement. Can this be true?”

“Yes, my lord.”

“And where was I during this: time?"

“in the barrel, my lord.”

a: 2:: a‘e

“I don’t like these photos at all," said
the customer when he saw the proofs. “I
look like an age.”

“You should have thought of that,” 7‘6-
mai‘ked the photographer, “before you had.
them taken.”

:5: e 2-. n
So They To" Me

if a girl’s a good loser at strip poker it
isn’t always sportsmanship. Sometimes it’s;
just plain conceit.

:1: :3 v; 2:

‘With that little juicy mongol we hang up
and remind you to be on the lookout for
us Saturday at FRONT PAGE.

0!; Mini.

TECHNOLOGY NEWS

{1% fiomjotoefi '

{Elam-lei; 2. Ball
Students at Michigan Stale recently held
a vote to determine whether or not all
types of corsages; would he banned from
campus parties and dances. Many colleges
and universities nireariy have written or
unwritten bans; on Corsages for the pur-
pose of reducing (he maies’ expenses.
* 91% 3i!

FRUN’l‘ won

The university of Arkansas has closed its
rioting bureau, "The Witching Post”, be-
cause its sponsors feel that if has performed
its duty. Either you have found. the one
and only or by now you how mail trying

11' $3: 0!
flzl’i‘ljilflzllf

Sovwali Illinois U. modems rom‘l‘ztiy hail
(mile a haw-cooking omwricncc. In trying:
to smoke out a moon which lhsw hm}
ciumcti in“) on GM 1mm iwlnmxmi; thaw
51:11?th :1 fire which look 51) if}?! of how.
film} gallons: ol water, anti Mil angina Emmi»
lug: milm to cxtinfiliishr—Aml no mblslt
either.

Emmigmml Willi at now. nails, a. hmmncr.
um]! carrying: booms... Prof. {7. J. P‘rlncc of
“William chcli Collczxc climlwe‘i up to his
:mic in on alicmgn‘ lo rill film house of
drain; which thi- enlirc lmtwoimkl had been
complaining about. ’Flwm‘ foilowcxl buoy
pounding. flowing. and “mowing. 11ml than
salience. Finally, mini nonmlo o‘i‘ muffled
almmn ffll‘ iicip wachwl the family below.

a: :2:

The license platen of (he More of Indiana
for ill-ll are blue and while. Mac colors of
limiter zu‘civer. j in lipid they will be
him and gold in honor of Now Damc. U.
In recent years: the stale licemxc gloom have
borne the colors of litallnna’a two state
univorslticn. Purdue and indiana.

m .

   

norm

A Pineapple Bowl team of clown coeds
in annually elected by the llnlvcmiiy of
Hawaii al Honolulu.

>l! 1?; ilk i:

The decorations at Michigan Elmira 00L
lcgc's Engineer’s Ball incliézllmi :2 model
mmgenoion bfirlge surmounted by is moving
m’gn which gave the dancem’ the ling/rest
some of being in a valley. The Mails repre-
sented a small gem" attached to an axle.

l: w n o
MISS

Ki oclcnlint say. that much nun paw-nil»:
have bright. chiitli'on. Thin Minimums. the
opinion lick} by most. collcgc sttndcnio.

The loin! number ml doctoral doorman in»
fined by universities in the Unified Wales
in mm was 3.088—«160 mow than in i935).
{foium‘oia granted the- mofi: (WK). followed
by (Tilicago (163)., Wiscormin (Mil). arm
Hay-vow} (11"3). 0f the carom; onlojacm for
ihcso which varied from “Hm: films in
Arkansas" to “Effect of Simon} Hormoncs
on the Scxual Development in Pink“, tho
most popular was chemistry.

   

71¢ 9; 5h f;

The University of Alaska‘s: stndem publi-
cation, “The Farthest North. Collegian”,
claims to be the farthest north school paper.
I! is published in 64° 51’ 21” norm latitude
~olmoci within the Arctic Circle.

When Mary Milsom, Kansas U. coed, he-
came a mother in her childcare clans, it
was: the occasion for her thoughtful boy
friend to Send congratulatory flowers and
host wishes to mother and her imaginary
child.

5? 5r- :5: :3:

Iv‘ort Worth, Texas, schools are now
mimeogmphing newspapers maps and using
them instead of text books on geography
because the map of the World is changing
go fast these days.

=i= *4 4: )2:

A group of thirty Barnard college stu-
dents have been making week—end trips to
Washington, D. C., where they visit Latin-
American embassies,

 

 

 

 

“Womon Only”

By Viodcs

 

Did your hoarl iiggci and «lingo: lust Fri-
day? Did a spocini mmwonc send you 4:
special wallowing? 01- lim‘haps you are one
of illoma poxmlm‘ individnailn who rocoivod
novel-iii special nonwtlsingo and are. in a
quandary as to whom you want: 10 min as
the special somoono. But. pm'lmpo you hurl
inclin- omp filming to figure out; your heart
and ivy {imam-ing- oui your limos! li’n a lot
camior!

'l‘here are many ways lo push women
genlly but firmly into wearing or using
clothes. halo. shoes, hair do’s, jewelry and
other items of fashion that are unbecoming
and ugly. But, the important point. behind
it all is that the pushing must be done
without, them realizing it. If an industry
will make mOre profit, when you wear open-
toecl shoes. or pink sweaters, or ghastly cos.
tume jewelry. the fashion l‘acketeers will
swing into aclion. You will see photo-
graphs of society women wearing those
outlandish costumes and fashion shows and
more fashion shows. All of this to break
the news: gently to you that. you will be
wearing some pretty funny looking clothes
next spring or Summer. Then when you’ve
seen the fashions enough times on enough
well known people. you will cease to 1'9—
sent them, and merely say resignedly, when
your boy-friend slams at you in horror,
“it‘s; what, cveryhody's wearing. The stores;
don't show anything else."

'l‘hcrc it»; n rcal mm and a gram ncml ion“
womcn‘s clothcs: crcnmd with some thought
for actual foxuinino limircs. There is also
a need for good materials and for clothes;
that are properly put together. But until
those needs are recognized by the designers:
and clothing manufacturers, you must, take
it upon yourself to dress with discretion
and not merely fashion suggestions.

No! only (low; firm-:91 contribute or dolmmt
from chm well groomed lininhcd look. but
xii-<0 physical fitness, that final touch, that.
giww one o scnsao of pcrmmnl satisfaction.
and that unconsciously with; to final, in-
mhlmhlo :msctmpaisc.

 

Am NEWS

“chill-Ho “and Hay-You—All, lot it bc
known that (how is to For a mowing of the
Architcciuml fincicly Wednesllny high!
from 7 to 9 in tho Studs-m Union Lounge.
it sitcoms; that very little has happened this
week, practically nothing. The whole School
seems to be recovering from that week’s
vocation after exams. The lllinois Tech
(that’s: on) Glee Club and Orchestra came
down to the Art Institute Wednesday to
cheer up the guards, they did a good job
of it, and had a large audience. Pear-non
showed up all (inked oul, and we’re pretty
sure it wasn‘t done for the orcheotra’s benc-
fit. Sherlock doesn’t like a certain picture
of himself, even went so far as to enter
into mortal combat wiih the photographer,
and succeeded in capturing the negative.
Speaking of pictures, we understand that
one of the Arx photographers employs a
girl secretary on photographic jobs. Just
what did happen at Laird House last Wed-
nesday Center? Back to the concert, We
thought Omic’s ghost was walking, but it
turned out, to he (ism: in person. His only
regret at being in Chicago is that Frances
is now at Illinois, touch luck Ostie. Honey
Chile wore a sailor outfiLThumday just for
Admiral Yarnell’s benefit, but he wouldn’t
be politicked. Perhaps that has something
to do with the SINK THE NAVY Sign that
almost floored the Admiral when he went
to lunch. Tsk, Tsk. These rebels stop at
nothing. It seems that Shcclock is an out.~
standing example of Barnum's famous
“There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute.”
Blumc is all up in the air these days, it
may be due to the fact that he now has
a pilots license from the C.A.A. O‘Brien has
discovered that Northwestern has some-
thing Armour hasn’t; those Thetas are all
right, isn’t she Bob!

The clock on the wall says": tick-lock
which means that it is time to go and so
till next. week we leave you with the say~
ingz ihat all play and no work is okay if
you can {lo it.

 

 

 

Si ECECK.

Flflfllfllz’fll‘fll 18, 19M

 

'l‘iu- shovel though loqmmionm, talkative.
li‘LAVlD, gau'rulous, lingumo‘ions, multilm
(limos, (loclmnutory. fluent, gill», volume,
i‘lippaht.«&m it may In! goes on, continually
dredging; tho olmlgn of the campus.

Again attempting to launch his ship upon
the seas of knowledge Byron Elli-a (Aline:
the Mud Chemist) recently unbounded the
scientific world. His; latest disclosure was
divulged in profossor-r-r-r' Cowie’s Machine
Design Clams, where he maintained that pig
iron was used in brake drums to produce
the squeals.

‘k 3k * it

Valentine’s day, oh Valentine's day! where
am thou—oh, the blazes with that” any
how hore’s some juicy material, as received
by carrier pigeon from the Alpha Sig
house. Bright. and early last Friday morn~
inf, llcoihcr illuxlmld was handed a cute
little scented envelope, addressed in an oh
so feminine hand. From this envelope Ilux
caresningly removed a romantic oh no 1'0»
maniicwvalentine card with this beautiful
verso thereon inscribed.

i can take euro of a kitchen.
I mm lake mm of :1 lim.
And if you need some loving;
ll can take cam osl‘: tlmtli
Sentimental isn't it??? Here comes the
bride, 'l‘ru La La Lab! 1!
:l: in i1: 1k
With happy bewilderl/wnt on his face,
Dtm Millm‘ is floundm‘ing his way about
school. Yes sir! It’s: the real thing. He has
forsaken all others. All for her. His heait
l.»- wilh. Iiei', even though, she goes to St.
Theresa, way up in Winona, Minnesota.
Letters every day (special delivery on Sun»
(lays) do not help him. But alas it is a 350
mile Mela.
kit Ill Ill Ill

vamly drowning in Schumann’s rein»
forced (‘KHH‘PMI' clmm ‘lilll’ illntkun (lid not.
lmihcr to mus-swol- the roll call. lifter seven-ill
l‘rulllcns film-is to gain him attention, Mr.
fichumnn, aided by inspiration in his. ot-
Iompm tolled for Mr. linodmmno. This,
pciwlmllmz Lilia; thoughts, brought a
chm-1w amt! prompt ‘m'cm'm’ to line Prom.
cars.

After spending years of intensive train-
ing in the art, of bowling, Sonny Weissman
fell, adequately prepared to challenge “The
Book Slore Bandit" to a friendly bout of
flying pins. After 7 games all of which
had the some results, Sonny ran from the
alley. tears Streaming down his chubby
cheeks; and crying “I wuz railroaded."

1% 5!: >l< 5%

{/JD. NOTE:——All those interested in play"
ing Sonny must first; give him (I. 15 pin
spot in. black and white.

1% #5 a: =l:

A hard working Student. of the institute,
Frcd (franc calls up Hortense Wilholmo in
the wee, small hours of the morn when his
last book has been closed. While efforts at
homework are appreciated by his dad, one
o’clock phone calls lasting for two hours
are not. After several weeks of this, Fred’s
(lad began to tire of hearing this billing
and cooling penetrate the walls of his room.
—So, lying in wait one night, dad, saw
Fred finish his homework and reach for the
phone, Slightly abashcd, especially about
the head Fred retii"ed.~—Ivle calls no more
in the wee small hours of the mom.

* 3k :24 4:

A fast moving, thrill packed, a rich.
hilarious; story of ncwspupc: lilo in coming
to “1‘, through tllc. clients of the firmonr
Playcrs.-—'l‘his is the story behind! the story
behind the headlines. Even the Playoff:
themselves say this will reach the absolute
[look of enteminmlanv-So GET THE THC-
norm GET THE DATE, GET A CAR, AND
DON’T BE LATE.

9.4 :lc in in

And now kiddies, before we close, let us
remind you once morc that. if you don‘t
go to thc Junior Formal you ain’t livin‘ll

Scoporwfinoopors.

 

 

was...