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TechNews | Tuesday, April 16, 2013

  

Awareness of good beyond appearances

Ameena Payne
TECHNEWS WRITER

Last year, I was on the CTA (Chicago’s
Transit Authority) heading to class to take an
exam. Rather, I should say that I was rushing
to class. I wasn’t running late, but I often got
caught up in the hustle and bustle of Chicago
during morning rush hour.

Something about the “rush hour”
energy made me feel a bit anxious; I—along
with others—am at the mercy of the CTA with
its frequent delays, rarely do riders strike up
conversations with fellow passengers.

After making my usual transfer to
another train line, I was able to find a free seat
(which is hard to come by during rush hour),
and I sat down.

I acknowledged the woman I was
sitting near just enough to immediately write
her off as being someone I wanted to ignore.
She looked at me and smiled, and I gave a half
smile back but turned slightly away to make it
clear that I didn’t want to engage in chit—chat.

I am a warm person, hardly ever
without a smile and usually very open, but I
was having a day where I just felt nonchalant
toward other people. The last thing I wanted
was to feel “trapped” in a conversation with a
“lowly” woman on the train who might pester
me for money.

I pulled out my textbook, clutch in
hand, to begin “reviewing” for my exam.

She began engaging me in small talk
and after a few minutes, my disposition changed.
My short answers became longer, and I became

genuinely interested in what she had to say.

A year or so later, I have forgotten
the specifics of everything she said to me, but
I remember getting off the train feeling light—
hearted after she told me a bit about her life.
We had a short but beautiful conversation.

I got off at my stop, walked the couple
of blocks to class, and entered the classroom
when I realized I left my clutch on the train.

No time is a good time to lose your
wallet, but I was leaving for the Middle East soon
and would have to replace everything before my
trip.

Well—played.

“Distract someone with small talk in
hopes they’ll leave something behind,” a peer
commented when I retold the story (after the
incident had played out). I actually felt a bit at
ease despite the situation, and the thought of
trickery didn’t even pass my mind.

My professor excused me, and I
headed back to the station, chalking it up to my
carelessness, thinking, “I’ve really got to slow
down. What was I rushing for at any rate? Life
is not ab out rushing.”

I got to the station, and as I explained
that I’d forgotten my wallet/clutch, they
informed me that a woman had notified a CTA
employee—just as the train left the station where
I’d gotten off—that someone had left a clutch on
the train, and that I’d gotten off at the specific
stop.

I rode the train to its last stop where
all the lost and found items are dropped. When
the CTA employees handed me my wallet,
everything was inside.

I learned a few valuable lessons
that day, not to prejudge someone’s character
because of their appearance; always be open
because you never know who will be in a
position to lend a helping hand.

At times, living in the city, it becomes
so normal to ignore each other and to write
each other off. I am so thankful to have had
a humbling experience that showed me that
when we allow ourselves to slow down and be
receptive to others, we can learn, and we can be
helped by people from all walks of life.

This experience reminded me (and
may remind you) to: Slow down.

We expect everything to be instant. In
fact, when something is “new and improved,” it
is always faster. We miss out when we live our
lives like this. The quality of our lives cannot
be measured by their speed. Rushing produces
shallowness because you never have time to dig
beneath the surface of another person. Try to
minimize criticism and judgment.

Be aware when you’re judging another.
Deeply consider the roots of judgments.
Respond to others with compassion rather than
reacting on a fearful or indifferent impulse.

Be more receptive and approachable.
We all have those days when we feel like we
don’t want to be bothered with others. While
I strongly advocate quality alone—time, I feel
that when we’re agitated by others, that’s usually
when a smile or a kind word from someone else
can go a long way.

Be open to others’ kindness. Live
with a sense of curiosity; every moment is an
opportunity for connecting and learning.

sga@iit.edu

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