Tuesday, October25th, 2016 | TechNeWS E E i E i i a i! 9

Master Collective: On Truth

Caribou: "I am going to make a true statement in three seconds.

1...2...3...There are 600 stars in the sky."

Weasel: "Well, how can I deny such sound logic? There are 600 stars

in the sky!"

Gorilla: "Yes, there certainly are 600 stars in the sky. Your argument

must be infallible."

Caribou: "I am going to make another true statement in three

seconds. 1...2...3...The statementI made three seconds ago was false."

Weasel: "But how can that follow? If the statement you made three
seconds ago was false, then the the statement that it was false must
also be false, meaningthat the statement that referred to the statement
as being false must be false, making it true. An inescapably circle!
There is no sense in an inescapable circle! There are external forces
distorting your words: the words we share, my words; the words by
which I make any sense of this world! I must cast off all earthly ties to
a world of truth and words! That which leads me to truth necessarily

leads me astray! All is wrong, and naught is to be trusted!"

Gorilla: "You, sir, are a liar and a heretic. Where do you get your false

information? And where do you get off corrupted us with it?"

Caribou: "But you have already verified me my reason, and agreed
that it leads to sound conclusions. This second argument is no
different from the first. In what letter of my logic do you find error?
I see only two options: you must accept me, thereby accepting the

irrationality of rationality, or resolve that all reason is 10 st."

Gorilla: "No, but by the grace of truth, you are a liar! For any of the
innumerable issues with your argument I may easily make and take
you down, as by compounding ad—infinitum any quantity of errors
I may, by sheer force, rigor, and heightening improbability, disprove
you. For example: I many deny that you have truly represented the
length of time between each second, if you have even presented us
your requisite three seconds at all. Neither can you PROVE that you
have no error in your timing, nor that you have not slighted our or
your own meager and fallible human perception and counted only
to two or one, or perhaps four! Until you offer grounds that you
fulfilled all of your necessary conditions, I have grounds to deny you

your conclusion wholesale.

"Furthermore, I may question your definitions, for what is truth and
what is falsity to you and to me? Answer to me my criticisms or

resolve to be silent on the matter!"

Caribou: "You are being unreasonable, Gorilla. Wherefore this
opinion be only directed towards my second argument while first
remains sacred? Cannot the same criticisms be levied against it?
You, with your rhetoric and bias only bring you so far; that is, to an
ever—thinening negative argument "ad—infinitum (such a think)" to
my positive one. Whereas me, with my reason, brings me to truth:

positive truth, positive reason."

Gorilla: "Me, unreasonable? No, YOU are being unreasonable. And
I should say that, from you, that is surprising, Caribou. Your first
statement can not be false because it is correct. Don't you see MY
reason? I should expect no less from you for you lack conceptual

awareness of your own skill and etymology."

Weasel: "Words be damned! Etymology and linguistics and philology
be damned! None of your statements are true or false. Those concepts
are flawed. They have never existed. Nothing is as it seems. That
which rests in our hearts is no more sacred than that which moves
out of reach and away, refusing to be known. Don't you see? Oh,
and even here how my, these words, be a thousand hidden demons.
Trust? How can we trust trust? Where can we go from here, bound

to a boundless circle?"
Caribou: "Don't you see, Gorilla? Why do you resist choosing
yourself a valid position and a suitable reaction like your friend? Do

not try to justify yourself. Do not lie to yourself."

Gorilla: "This is just an exercise in corruption! You have no proof.

You have not the basis for truth."

Caribou: "I do! Truth is reason!"

Gorilla: "Truth is truth!"

Weasel: "Truth is lies! And in the fading light o're a boundless skyline,

truth dissolves away and dies."

-Reno Waswil