Page Two

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”Ellie filipelieh” 4.

Armour Tech News a
Student Publication of the
ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY

3300 Federal St. 1

CHICAGO- ”LL'NOIS Cleave 'ro ”The Slipsfick"; lei
Published Weekly During the College Year the Slapstick ily where it may ‘%
l936 Member “939

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Rssocialecl Colleélflle press

nkPnEanNTED Von mm...“ Auvlnnslna nv
National Advertising Service, Inc.
College Publisher: Regimen/alive
420 MADISON AVE, NEW YORK, N. Y.
cmumu . Doumn . Los Mum - 5A" rmmmca

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In spring a young mom's fancy turns to low. This is
spring, so maybe that lazy ['(ez'li-n' to do nutllin‘ and just
J stay set that I have must he love. But love or no love, this
lcalumn must go all, and enumerate the finer things in
life to will To help you Junior Chews along in your Juice
course we are presenting a sample quiz with, our answers
lo Hull next quiz than is coming up very soon.

1. What is electricity?

Anal A course of etudy otherwige known as electrical
measurements.

2. What is a current?

Ans. A fruit which resembles blueberries in shape.

‘ . 3. Define hysteresis.
V Rolilgltlll‘Ng‘AbR’IggéliQ J Am. Hysteresis is the condition a girl gets in when she
. ..~.JIM FAKE): l loses her platinum bar pin at. the Junior Formal.
, EUGENE KALNIB, ‘
ROBERT KOHN 4. What is a commutator?
l Ans. A person who lives in Oak Park.
.
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“Entered as second class matter December 8, 1937, at

the post office at Chicago. Illinois, under the Act of March
" 231 J

 

3. 1879.

$2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each

EDITORIAL BOARD
THOMAS HUNTER

   

 

" FRANK SLAé’éN
WALTER IIENDRI s .
—~———v~#~v 5 What IS a battery?
Ans. A battery is the pitcher and catcher on a baseball

   

lass
TY ADV ISUR
EDITORIAL n EPAR’I‘M EN’I‘

Irvin Dzikowski “’3‘“

 

 

Anulnnmvm minim
Aluminum Spurn Editor , ..
Make Up Mammy.”
Ill-write Montana . ,

Rec rds Anuistunt
Fraternity l‘llllVll‘

filfifidiéfiam """"""" Peter Woods (3. What is a brush?
I‘l-nlm'l' E'mW Fm‘nk RM Icyé‘ffifixl Ans. A brush is a small object used in the process of

 

. F‘loyd Andi-ram! combing hair. i
E‘ C""““““"' g: Q’" ll 7. What is an armature? }
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. Bicelimnnn “(Wm
-’l .u. A nOHApl'OfeSSIOHa] ball playgr.

. .6 SMIni‘elfiil , ‘ ,,
. lL-rn e _ .
Him” t ‘ ll. What is a lloatlng buttery?

my . .lm .. ,, ,G. 15ml. 5. anan. ill Mead
Column ts H. Krnntz. w. Laulm. F. humor, 5. Slum-mm] Ans, One who e specific gravity is less than one.
m_W,m\'l-Zorvu~u Y'- Brown, M. Cnmrus. E, Colnnt. E. Gguca, {IV “jinx-12:5“. l, 9, What is an induction motor?
‘ '- . . ' ' ', . Racy. . ac vy,‘ , , ’
1" Si’lfilfifl‘kfl' JESS-1%."? .ilull‘llilinulc, n. ummau, Am. A motor which can be Induced to work properly.

10. What. is the relation between the volt, ampere, and
the ohm?
Ans. The ohm is the amount of potential necessary to

H. mm.“
....E Francone, L. Elgemion, R. Mueller, A. Pocius,l
Wnber.

I". Bellamy. L. Nnrkua. E. Worcesterl
Flood, a Hulll‘fll. w. Sim nini'.

 

Sports Write” .

 

   

 

 

 

 

Spurn Re’por rs H. "iioélinil'p, B. y .
w, Spitz, R. -. J n- L , lsend an inductance of one coulomb across; a reluctance
, . m, an 3
Cl‘rwomn ,._fi_.._,,,._M_.._. 777777777777777777 lol’ one watt. All ampere is the registailcc offered when)
. one plug is taken out of an induction coil. A volt in the‘
RUBINESS ”EPM‘TMKNT ;‘ number of atoms of electricity flowing past a point in one (
Ailwrlimng Mnnnw W; 3"“ J hour.
Circulation Mum or .. Ralph Ermmnn 8 1“
Cinnamon Manager (0 x, Abra “Mfg,
$331.13“:“liftififirfilgwhmwfl R“3§;,'.‘.;’;;’..m'Tillmaeljfll. ,‘ lll’w‘ve‘ been around this hole in [he wall lam] enough to
M. .luhnuon. 1.. Maze. .1. Many. fl. sumpll mum; lllls llltle lip lo some Ilf our 7mm (mllcnlporrlrlos.
IShoul/I a. pro/moor, during (1 rluxs, be rndr (mung/I to in-
Vol. XXIII. March 22, 3939 NO- l'E'r'IVIPl an i'nlewsling mmvm-sulim: you may in» holding

 

lwllh ll friend, alt/mowlz'dge HIE lllll’l’l‘ltjjilllil gracefully
Elgllll’ O'CIGCk CIEISSGS? 'uml :clmw him ”Nil you, at [mm-l mm m'l like a gentleman.
Beginning next Seplember we may be coming!
l0 school a’l eight in the morningl isn‘t max 3 l lle came in Mill out down along xiiie oi hev. lle wag a
pleasant surprise? Many of the students. already , clean cut mlozllooklng; chain. the :mllmlial.},l;“n' (10th
— . n a ow (me lo sail, ease hri e
haVe l0 r0” Oul 0i bad 61‘ 6'10 or earller. With l me what you gave me lmt night."
classes at eight oclock they will have to get up,/ Sh, hesitated, looked wildly about
before sunrise in order lo beat the prolessor To , cried nul. “Sunnylzillo up on was: an a cup 0' mfl‘ve,“
class Don’l ’cln'mk llxe proieSSOl’S will like \i any ,.
more than the students. They will have lo gel up’ We have 7. Mile dilly en
a, the crack Oi dan’l TOO gave: her were the ringn beneath her eye».
‘ I .1; Li .
One of the conditions Wl’llCl’l Will make Elghl:
o‘clock nocesaary is Tho crowded condition of ‘lhe

lunchroom. At present all of the students can not

not

lace was deserted.

her and suddenly

v n

titled: The only rings l evoll

.,

“llon'l you llal'l‘ km me or l'll _\’('ll for my lallll‘l‘l”
"Where is he?"

“In Paris,"
ii i; l
Big'gllmo hunter: Oh, yes, l’vc been pllmlmll by liom

many timcs, but life without a nine rink would be: very

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be served m comlor‘r in the short time allowed ior
lunch, lherelore line plan is lo increase the lunch
period. This will mean lhal school must open,lam_

Earlier. Sll'lce lhe live O'ClOCk closing l5 already lalel Slernield: I agree! Many limea, when the weather halal
enough. making additions lo afternoon lime oul 0* , mmed doublful, l have deliberately gone without my

the question. 'umbrella. l

Ill ’l‘> ll

H ‘l ,fhere 's a o tof the dilemma wu‘l’l— . _ , _ , _

EPF’AV . i II a Wdy L'Jlr I l! f i f ., mini:- fi'll'l we know 15 like u rfldloi~flubj€6l to chango
0‘” e‘g l 0 C OC(S' an W't‘ P en ‘2 0 ”he Or ; without notice and very little on after midnight.

lunch, all with a better chance for the lunchrooml u. n”- i

stall to have a breathing spell between rushes The ’l‘vachor: William, what are the genders?
solution is simple—lwo lunch periods spaced as Vl‘l'illizlm: Mll‘fittulill(’ and-Feminine. The feminine are
follows iirsl lunch to run from ll .20 ,0 illthvnlodnnto {rigid and mild, the malacullne into temper-l
second lunch from 12:20 to l:lO. This Will give "“ W "““m’m’fi” l
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exactly the same Time for lunch as we now have. James wall about to lcnve in. girl’s home when hr.- we...
but The fer» minute break between The two periods cor-fronted by the massive
Wlll give the bus-boys a Chance lo Clean up lhelmlhfir’imlaw- .
MESS from early lUflCl’l and give the COOkS a chance 3 The youth irleol herd to evade him, but the girl’s father
to replenish the depleted stocks on the steam fable. “:3“ mm by the “allude" . fl , . l
. > _ . aw, then, my lml, he fialcl, you We been coming}
in addrllon, each rush Wlll be cur about in half. he“. quite a lot. What do you want with my daughter?"
making if more convenieh’r for everybody. i

No classes need to be missed Those who have but what yen can afford."
lunch early go To class from l2:l0 lo 1:00, a reguv l:
lar fifty minute class, and those who have late lunch
go to an l l :30 class jusl as they do now, All lhal
is needed to carry this out is a small Change in the‘
class schedules.

Mr, Kelly can eaSlly revise the present schedules ' cam“: Girls ‘5 “"m‘ially 5*
l'o ill llms Ian The onl Chan 6- 'il . , ‘1‘ W
proximalelypone hall Oi Wis ll 15055:;SEEE ¥h::e, .Thc Great, Human Fly was slowly ascending the side

., ' “ 01 the skyscrapvl'. As he reached the fortieth floor he
Will merely be moved OVer l0 lleO~ and ”0 Willa llleavd the cues of alarm and looking down he beheld a
rooms Will be necessary. . drunk almost directly behind him.

As presented, ihls plan seems to take care oi “COL bad" the”. you 900“" he .VOlled-
most oi the dilllcull‘ies in a rather handy way ”ll“ ”ML" ‘ ‘
However, as is often the case, there is a string The drunk lhumbcdfm no“. at him
attached. The slrine is nothing other than slu~ 'lhe (Treat Human lily shrugged his shoulders and con-

c ‘ > tinned on. Up, up he went past the fiftieth, past the
den? carelessness, a very big Item A sighi loo 3ixtieth Story, until he reached the lop. He climbed over
familiar to us all is tha‘i of the lunchroom filled Hm parapet and sank exhausted on the roof. Then he
Wgfl.‘ men just Wasting time. Card Playing. CFOSSV l'oll. Mn’lir'lhing‘ heavy l‘zill on top Of him and discovered it
word puzzles. and fooling around are meanl‘ for “‘4‘“th (ll-link. who had followed him.
olher places. The worst part ol ii is final they mglwlmlifiiyji xxx; 3:: clilltlifiid
pe'VS‘Si m domg ””5 When Others ”QGd lhe Space. The ill'O'Ai. Human Fly lane-lied with a sneer.
particularly during the lunch hour rush They do Wall?" llv criml. “W011. let’s 500 YOU do this!”
l? in Spllc Oi repeated requests thal' ll’ley get out \Vitli a l(‘l'1'Ifi(’ leap be clearer! (lie parapet and upon—
to Wlake (com ior 01,19“ ll’ CQl'lalhly is holy a ing his parachute. floated toward the ground. Half way

. , . . lnn'i'l he heard in chorus f Shflikx mil lmkin 'u i h~ cv
enllcmanl lhlri 1’0 do and is absolufel L1 . K . 0 t l K g I L “1w
g y _ g ’_ . L y rmec the drunk coming after him, hell bonl for election. As‘
essarv Unlll l'l’HS ewl IS removed lhe lunchroom ‘ hp passpd him ”7,, drunk W7)”; “Sissy." l
\Nlll always be a source of displeasure. ‘ ' ill—VD SllNER. ‘

figure 0; i... prowl-cm:

l

“Well, sir," said James a trifle nervously,

is
\Ve understand that many a Wallflower would he pop—
ulzn' ii salie shed a few petals and showed her Stems.
9k .. a

Fulghum: Mr, Catlin, correct this neutence: “Girls; is
naturally better looking than boys."

tier looking than boys.
ill

“You can‘t do

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“on:

The drunk

ARMOUR TECH NEWS

lWeclnesday. March 22, l939

School Sleeps (35 I
Showers Peep

Scene: The darkened library of
Armour Institute of Technology. Sev—
eral shafts of light from the street
lamp steal in through the window,
making silhouettes on the floor.

Time: The night of the 47th Elmi—
versay'y of the founding of A. I. T.,
hall: an hour after the last student
and professor, janitor and scrubwom—
an have finished work and gone home.

The library wears an unaccustomed
mantle of ghostly silence; the bare,
flat tops of the study tables reflect
21 few cold, shafts of light. The old
clock given by the class of ’02 ticks
sepulehmlly as it stands against a
bookcase.

Of a sudden, there is n movement
in one comer of the room. A loud.
snarl. is heard, then a stentorian voice
calls:

“Frank! Say, Frank!"

From the main hall a resonant, sil-
ver toned voice responds:

“What is it, P. D.?"

“Come in here and help me out of
this fool frame. I'm so stiff I can
hardly move."

“All right, I’ll be right there.”

A moment later, through the locked
lflasn door, a shadow walks into the
library and over to the unfortunate
one inside the picture frame. Ah he
walks, he keeps twisting his head
from side to side and rubbing his
neck ills though to elm-lo the stiffnessl.
He speaks conversatimmlly as he
helps the other shadow down:

“My neck is pretty stiff, too. It‘s
that collar, you know. And then I
always have to look in that same di»
rection.”

P. D., heavily: “ch. I know. I’ve
t one of the blame thinlll: on my»
1’ He runs. his finger around “10

 

ill

 

 

go
sel. ."
inside of his collar. “Wurst nuisance
is thei-le damn side whiskers. They
itch. Never should have grown ’0m
in the first place. Only did it To
illelme Belle.”

Frank chuckles quietly. “Well, thin
in anniversary night, our night off,
P. ILL; let’s forget our troubles. What
shall We do?”

l’. l). 541in firmly, “l'd like some-
thinp: to can first, then I’d like in
strvtch out on on!) of those new sofas
in the Slinilenl. Lounge and smoke ll
good cigar.”

"That's a good idea," says Frank.
“Let's go.”

The two shallows; move off logeth-
er, 0m: :1 thiclinset heavy figure, gen.
turini: authoritatively, pointing here
and time, gtunninp; now and then to
pound on a wall panel or to test a,

FIVE sophomores at a New England university had
been asaignetl to report on [lie lresiilcniial iiisli-icts of
a southern. city, ills principal products and the location
of he plunlalionli.

Hour lifter hour they illumlmd llii‘ongll hook alter
book in the library—all to no avail. Then one 0[ them

hall a hnpi'iyillea—wliy not telephone lhe city’s Mayor?

They (lillm-zinll in in few minutes hull all [he illicit-man
lion they nomlell.

N0 minim? what. the (inflation-mi“ college, in oociul
life, in bliaimas—ymi’ll liml lilo mlcyhono is often
the quickcsi, most economical way to got the anfiwer.

 

step. The other shadow is comment- .

((lonliwum] am pm I! 'lllel l
J

  
 

 
  

0W 00 V0
”WE -smoKlMC-i
now ”-7

  
    
    
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
   
 
  
 
 

ILL up with Prince Albert, men afill up with real pipe—joy!
. Here is choice tobacco~baclied up by a “nubile" process
that assures plenty of COOLNESS and MELLOWNESS to
point up good, rich taste. And P.A. wins a cheer for its slow
bnvning, easy drawing; too. No clogging. No sogginess. P.A.'S
choice Lobaccos are “crimp cut” to pack easier and pack
RIGHT. Around 50 pipefuls of extra-mild, fragrant smoking
in every big red pocket tin of Prince Albert. Climb aboard!

$0 MIME
$09 illfi'ili"
$613 Fl’widfillélhi?

PIPEFULS of fragrant
tobacco in every handy
pocket tin of PrinceAlhorl

 

' WWW.

Smoke 20 fimgmni pipuiulu of Prince
Albert. If you don't find i: [he mellow-tent,
Rnstiwixk pipe tobacco yen ever smoked,
remrn the ponkct MI) with lhc rcst of mo
lobncca ‘m it to Ills in any time within a
monlh From dais dine, and we will refund
full pnrchnun nn'qe. ulna vantage. (Signed)
R Raynnldg Tobacco Company.
Winsxon . Salem. North Carolina