Page Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Federal St. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year Member I939 associated Coileoiole Press run NAYiuNAL ADVKuTmma nv nzvnssuwfltn National Advertising Servnce, lnc. Collage Publirber: Repmmmm A20 MADISON AVE. NEW YORK. N. Y. ammo - Boston - m Annex.” . m mumco “Entered as second class matter December 8, 1937, at the post office at Chicago. Illinois, under the Act of March 3. 1879.” wflbexi $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD " ' I " USSELL Emilknl'miciiiii‘loii ERT JAFFEE NEWS EDI'I'I t. , wfingPIé3311-‘E SPORTS EDITOR H0 K1 COPY 1T0 , ,THOMI'KS YgALAlD Boson» s MANAGER ,.ROBER1 Wt 11 FACULTY ADVISOR .WAL'I‘ER HENDRICKS . . Curl Reh . .. .1011 came ..........Robert Bannock, Francis Opila ., . .. .. , .. .Tum Clnrk Cnvanagh. CI Wright. f. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Desk lit r vari I'Jlnu- Assiunmrnt Editors . ‘i rts Editor 2;!) i A» istmits Ma Fvnture Editor , V‘. Per Frau-Hilly Editor . , (ilk-valley Copy trailers .. . . G. I‘rost, . ad. P (It! (‘olumn' s A. Harmon, E. P. Hanuskn, J, Robson, ll. bit-rhfl-ld. u v-, 17, Pruthcr, S Silvcrmnn, E rec-star. A. Zurom. M Camras E. Culant, l. Dzikownkqu Gruca, Hartman. S l nan, I.. Jindrieh. E Kalnin. hr 'fll‘L. II, ' A. hun . Mi ‘lfl’ W, ackey, II Milleville. H. - R Rost-nthol, M. Schul Strassenburg. C. Leer, It. Underhill, 1'1, ' on. Sports \Nr'llt-rs F. n Orson. .1. hey. E Worcester Sports Ht'lmrh'lél F. DL‘Money. J. Ruddy. R. Fatwa ;N. bimontm (,nrmonut BUSINESS DEPARTMENT All» >rt.isinu Manager . . Circulation Manuzcr . Fran k Slavin Circulation Manager or»; ,' . .Rubcrl. my“. Circllntion Manager xcbnnfles , ...Rozer 3mm. Business Aflalatunla . , .. R. Ahrahamson. IL Beeancon. M o nson. n. Jae son, w. Mac y, L. Maze, w. Soc-1h. Vol. XXII. February 7, 1939 No. 15 We Step do? When selected for our positions last February, we felt that a year was a long time tor us to man- age the paper. Being anything but that, the time has passed so quickly that we find ourselves ”step» ping out" making way for the new staff which will be announced Thursday evening. Some weeks at the beginning of our term we were often tangled and always lacking vital news, but as the semester Mirutfinlc . mum. Erismnn , ARMOUR TECH NEWS We considered the “trash" affairs on the same standard as those of the seniors, favoring none. By publishing articles in an unbiased form and sup- ,porting the class dances in the best possible man» l ner, we believe that we have achieved our goal as lwe set it at the beginning of our term. The retir~ ing seniors can honestly say that the brief period of time spent as a member of the staff will be long remembered as a pleasure in rendering a little service to our school. The next issue will be under the jurisdiction of the new staff and we hope that they have bene— fited by our mistakes as they begin one of their most enjoyable years at Armour, to them goes our very best wishes. We bleed a “Campus Day” Many universities and colleges have one day in each school year reserved for a “Campus Day." If we could also adopt a system of this kind, it would prove beneficial to our school. ln other schools. the coeds polish desks, arrange ‘ cooks in the library, or assist in a general rearrange- ment of the furniture. The male students mean» while, spend their time in an attempt to beautify the grounds, paint and varnish the tloors and fur- niture and cleaning of laboratory equipment. The logical period for a ”Campus Day" would be a date near our annual ”Open House." Our visit-- ling day happens to tall on May lOth this year and the day before would be an ideal time for a work day. A number of ”squad bosses" could be selected land they in turn could select ten students to form l their squad. Then, by previous arrangement, each squad would have a definite duty to perform. One lcould paint water or steam pipes while another lgroup would wash the ceiling. Another group i would then calcimine and trim the room in a bright :color. Other squads could polish the railing ol the istaircases, wash and paint chairs, and clean the ,equipment in display cases. A plan of this nature, 1it adopted, would require a well-planned schedule so that each student would know exactly what work he was expected to complete during the day. ‘This system would foster a better school spirit and ‘at the same time allow the students to show their ‘ technical abilities applied to a worthwhile purpose. ' Students would have no cause for complaint as became older this difficulty was overcome. ,one day out of each year would be a short time to Having created some new ideas and perfected a : devote to improving the appearance of the school system as a ”stepping stone“ in the history of the l for the next day. Let's get our shoulders to the TECH NEWS we have endeavored to print material , wheel and rake one step further to improve our which we thought would be of interest to the school and have the best "Open House" display ever given at Armour. maiority of students. Stoopbroin llunks @ut Mold but llondemz \ Library liyrlegflgorp. and Show Storms l Deer Sally, Moonulow Cassanova, famuss statesman and lover woncc sed, quote: Hca drank the sweet nect‘ from lurr lips, as beneeth the moon they sat, and wundered if any man befour. had drunk frum a. mug like that, unkvote. Wei. (leer Sally, greetings of the new yeer. I am sorry I haven‘t rit- ten yew suner sinze I got hak tew skool after the Christmas hoydays. However I hav ben so buzy withe this and that including final exams that I haven't had any spare tyme. ‘Oh, what. exams. Take, four ex— ample, the final in our Weakness of Materials coarse. The first question starts owl: given a steal “I” beam of such and such a size. If its stressed a certen amownt in a bridge, don't the little molecules feel pretty tyred. Then in owr thci'mo coarse final, a tipical question wax: “If steem at a prezv lure of so and so pownds enters a boiler at 700 degrees F, iz the steem heeted, superheeted. heetcd-super or just d—n hot. If so, wat of it.” Then at the top of the, sheet it scz: Answer yes or not. “Work any nine of the following—~« ‘ yowre choice." Wat I couldn’t figure owt waz that there were only nine problems, Laste weak wea got the happy news, and agin I kamc threw with flying rulers in my marks. I got ex- celenh every subject of coarse on the ~l'li.'(‘l. witho the marks the} hav to abrcviait and so they ,iuste put down “‘3” after each subject. "Sven the prof. at the bed of uwr de- m l l l l l l branch, i2 part0 of a gigantic holding company willie branches in aw] col- ledges and universities and that they declared a dividend $150.00 a share on one million shares of com- mon stock laste seer. It is further rumored that a speshall prosecutor haz ben appointed by the name of Foowey to klean up thi'l. business. of A funncy thing hapeneil a weak ago in thiz grate city. Snow more snow. iz, deer Sally, living down there wear such stuff i7, not noawn. Snow iz that wich withowt it. Halt Bisncy wuld hav had only White and the Seven Dwarfs. It ii that stuff with floats down so white and pretty from the sky that yew think yew owr in heaven. But wen yew hav to shovel it threat feat (leap off E50 feat of sidewalk yew wish yew were in h—l. It wuz so deep on the streets that wenever an automobile went down the streat awl yew culd sea wuld bea a ripple on the top of the snow mov- ing in the direction the car wuz go- ing. Street car and elevated trains were so slow that to pass the tyme .away they showed double feetures parlment complemented mes on my ; marks: “Yaw will goa far, my boy, yew owr halve way tcw negative in— finity already, unquote, Rejistrashinn waz also lastc weak, withe us (llfillrll’lfl‘ (leap in a dream, other 200 bucks for tuition, fees. hooks and the bigest itcmilibri fines. item i7. reclly big business and annnopolly, and that the uovernment i7. tow investigate. Won ugly rumm it; that Library Fines, Inc, Ax‘morc a to the riders on free dinnerware ten cent tickets men over twelve. Thiz weak certianly crowded withe activety. Thursday nite iz the Armore Tech news banquet in the Misshion. Hear, awl us scribblers and prupounders of the are tew gather to eat, heer speeches, the trains, Ofiering to the ladys with and free cigars to iz eat, heer more speeches, eat and beer ‘ in Tribune lobby on Friday, Febru- abowt the promoshions fore next ses rncstcr. Then will follow sum hum- cru. (1’) entertainment (7) Friday nite iz the annual Snph dance, tew bca held at the Dinah Athletic Club. “'91, deer Sally, enuff of thiz 21ml . Dew yew no Wat snow . ‘ and undoubtedly was by far the best wri tten word ' > ‘prattle az it i2 tyme tew close. A7. ‘ 'l mcen (leap in owr pockets for an» ‘ Aleicr Drinkwater wonce scd, quote land unquotce tcw hiz profcsor of him mathematics’ question of wat iz . an example of an imaginary spheroid, ‘ It. is rumored that this lasto ‘ he answered: a rooster’s cum. Yures, Stoopbrain BliSs. s “WWW...“ ., Qwfli‘? N l E. P. Hanuoha This issue of the paper will find the “B" group back at. work again and the “A" group in school. We enjoy the change, especially the ac- compnnying' dance which climaxes our activities here in school and sip;— nals the beginning: of a new term for the “A” group. The dance, Pri- day night, will long remain a pleas- ant memory. It was more of a suc- cess than we had even anticipated, Elllit’ll MW Cnvop function over to be held. Observed: Jordan, with his hair combed, having a good tune . . , Bert Milk-ville distributing confetti and streamers . . . The whole crowd (304 in: the Lambeth Walk in real stylc‘ . . , Bill Bobco scaring everyone with the photoflash on his camera . . . Prof. Winston kicking it. up like a genuine jitterbug E. I). Hanuaka dancing" with Mrs. Sprague . . The three “Hills” finally got together, Charlie, John and Ruth . . . Hawkins goin’ to town on the Dipsy Doodle . . . Mr. Lease smiling all evening . . . Orchids to Hawkins, Krahulec, Milleville, Anthony and all the (el— lows who really worked to make the dance so successful. Don’t forget, the trips arranged by Fred Krahulec are starting this Friday. We’d like to see you all there, and for your benefit here is our schedule: Trip 1—Chicago Tribune Plant tour, 435 N. Michigan, meet at 8 pm. ary 10. Entry on ticket only. Trip EaBell Telephone Company, 311 W. Washington, meet on 18th floor, at 73") pm. Friday, February 17. No 1 hot necessary. Come! Trip 3~-»Chicago Lightingr Institute, 20 N. Wacker Drive. meet on 36th floor at 7:50 Friday, February 24. Tickets nec {51. Information on later trips will be mailed to those interested. Vl/c‘ll be back again “ltl’l you in two months, so until then, take over “A" gl'nupl Tuesday, February 7. l9 The Slipstlclt l Cleave to the slipstick; let; the slapstick fly where it may. We welcome all our new readers and all our old" reader (Hi Yo Maw) 10 1/10 Slipsticlc. For the edifioriiion of (host: who are not. in the know, play we fill you. that {hit} is (L Humor column. Surprised? So are we. Re- mmnlwr the rules. There must. be loud and spontaneous “lawffer” after each joke. His life blood trickled o’er my hand, I tried in vain to stop its flow. But as I staunched the wound, I knew He could not rally from the blow. I held him close in anguish great As though to call him back again. Alas! He could not stay with ch My dear old trusty fountain pen. Profs ll’iclr up those two bits on the Floor. We all leaned forward and disgustedly observed two matches on the Floor. Doc: Well, Sher, what seems to be the trouble with you? Sher: I don't know, doctor. One minute I‘m cold and then I’m wring,» int): wet. Doc: Well, those are alarmingr symptoms. When did you first no- tice them? Sher: This morning when I took a shower. ADD DEFINITIONS All optional is ii. any who thinks his wife has quit cigarettes when be firmly cigar hulls m'rmml the house. “You should meet my husband. He makes a living: with his pen." “Oh, so he‘s a writer too?" “No, he just raises pig's.” The seven ages oil" a women—the infant, the little girl, the miss, the young woman, the young woman, the your”; Wclnllln, the y0“ng WDIIIIEIJD. Each year we try to help all incom— ing freshmen and guide them in tho aulvckion of couraes, no we submit the following list: Mech Eng. 50’/n——~I'Iunllbook 25%~Sli(le i'ulc 25%——-Brecze 100% Arch. fi’ftm-{Meda and girls 30%»«Srnock 2 5 (fly—AH a i r 30'7/r——Lll'(: class 10%~Paint 100% Civil 35%—7Transit 25%m—Summer camp 40%«—Studcnt Union 100% F. P. E. BOP/Ii—Al’layimr with fire 40%illnderwriters 10%v-»Li5tening to Finnegan 100% Chemo 55.4% ~—~Odor 21.427‘n—Rubber aprons ll).00%——Poker 13.18%«Riding the elevator 100% Electricals 45%~—Shock 25%-Connecting wires 30%——Alternating current 100% Hi: They say you can tell a girl‘s character by her clothes. Yo: Bunk! Girls must have more character than that. a * Our professors here make awful jokers, But we all laugh with glee. We’ve found from long experience It helps our marks, you see. Juice Instructor: Never touch (my live wires with your hands. Flush: 0h, everything sanitary. x You can call a girl a vision, BUT be careful when you refer to her as a sight. I’ll be with you again next week. So . . . . HLYO SILVER. By By Bernard Stern fold IN THE PICTURE DEPT.: That very interesting and widely traveled Judge Hardy clan in back in town again, this time with 90 minutes of “Out West: With the Hurdyxi.” If you’ve not in on any one oI Hardy adventure episodes, you llmow what to expect in the way of plot. I’ic— {are opens with olol Judge Hardy dialling out old faohiorled juotice in his court, a letter asking for aid comes from friends in the West, a quick shot; all Andy tilting with Polly, the Hardy's leave an malice lo the rencue of said friends, falls in and out of love with a handl- aome cow nurse, Andy is ahowu up by a little girl, the friend's problem is solved, and the Andy-Polly quar- rel is. dissolved in a vigorous finial clinch. times the Hair-dye rgo through their routine, they’re still tops on; purvey— Marlon But no matter how many on of good solid entertainment. See this, We a must. Ail/USEMENT O I) Us A N I) ENDS: Grape Nuts is pulling in. a serious bid for radio‘s Hitl'lllw’r one spot. in. the variety show field. The/iv miywi' collrmsal 60 minutes on Sunday tings (9:00-10:00, WMAQ), is go— i'ng Io Will/w the Kraft [Music Hall, Town Hall, HM Rudy Vullr'c Hour, Il/[mvwell Home, and even. the Chasm Sunburn show look toward their (travels and Cree-Icy popularity 7'0- m' . port . I’V'llll (L Iinc~up to]: heavy with, names- like Carole Lombard, Com] (haunt, Ronald Coleman, Groucho Mam (will his brother Chico, and guest slew: of the Lawrence 'I'7'lihell., Jone llm'bi, uml Noel Coward caliber, it would be hard for THE CIRCLE to liaise fire. The whole program in u, nicely limed parade of mimic, some {/real corned”, and {l dash of drama. Try lending rm car near! Sunday evr'. m Iii llt . . . Hrml occasion laiil ’mfflk In til/5e in u wwtinre of the ’38 Pulitzer Prize wimmr, “Our Town.’ Come away with. the conviction Hull. the mating of today with. its undcmila 'ng beats the hloorl and thunder variety every/lime. No scenery, no pram «accepting a (cou- ple of «tap ladders- and some fable/5i and chairs, just a big bm'rcn HUM/(t arise-crossed by chalk linen. Still, Memory and props are LmrIcIJcIis-ai-y when, or play liar Frank and John Craven, Dorothy McGuire, and others- rif the ELM/L0 ill: to put over lines. “Our Town" may ml. (m u, truly great play, but it certainly deserves your iiif¢llll0fl. It leaves the Selwyn around the llllh to make way for “Bachelor ’ Try and mil/Ca it. . . . ,‘m'u.’ w ix 2. . . . New and very good: Richard Hyde”, the British comic, (loving his: monologue act on Rudy l/rrllee’ri air show. That lune, “Deep Purple" UH rendered by any name bum], See if it doesn't, mlw over Me No, {£43001 on [he Hit I’m-rule within, a fO’l‘t’rngjhl. The Town is Best FIE llN A RD STERNFELD IN THE SPORTS WORLD: There just ain't this week. The Hawks won‘t be back in town ’til the 16th. What with the brand of hockey they’ve been purveying the last few weeks, it‘s just. as well. Our own cagers don’t play at home until the 17th, when they tackle Detroit Tech. But there is ONE good match scheduled for this week. It will be De Paul and Loyola tomorrow night at the Stadium. Steam Shovel Not wishing to be a pessimist, but some of the boys didn't feel like cheering; the following week when they received their grades. Well, we’re grind most of the fellows had better luck than these unfortunates. Several seniors (mechs and schmicrs) breathed a sigh of relief when they received passing“ marks in juice. >l¢ k Candidate for the ailment minded profctiaor memorial cup? BUTTON forgot to come to “Time and Motion Study" exams and cent a final by mail to all students in the elm-is. (Uri- cle Sam's government men came: through again!) ’11 ll: 5“ The men in white with stretchcrs were kept busy exam week carrying out prostrated students from the gym, scene of most of the “horror quizzes." They were whistling- “Deep in a Dream." .1: i: ii (121th something be done with that love sick awain called Yeolrle. His latest “dreamsgirl” is a coed from the City College of New York, he haanI: clipped her picture out of the rote section of a newspaper. The only catch is that the C. C. of N. Y. is a boys’ school. Ill Ill Ill I’uor buy. How he must suffer. It! his [Ii/Mn!) really injured or dorm: CHARLIE EULO have it bandaged so rm to gain rig/mpathy from his girl friend BONNIE. He's pretty mean, leaving VIRGINIA at home to pine away. a HUNTER and his SALLY building man front of Sonn high school last week. She is no relation to STOOPBRAIN BLISS' Sally. xix a xiii: foot snow in ‘41 >9 Ill Armour T00]! News flash: Struc- r‘lu'n, Frost, Bus/L and Chevalley are reported to have gone up to Evanston to ice skate. However, the National College of Education coeds state that (Continued rm page four) “y KENT STATE U. ‘ BUS DRlVER, HAS DRlVEN A ' MILUDM MlLES more SPARKMAN. BLlND LAW STUDENT AT THE UAW. 4 CF TEXAS. CAN PllDl’ AN AlRPlANli.”