Page Two ARMOUR TECH NEWS Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Fuleral St, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year l937 Member |938 Rssocioled Galleoiole Dress “Entered as second class matter December 8, 1937, at the post uti'ice at Chicago, Illinois, under the Act of March 3, 1879." $2.00 Per Year m’ 287 Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD Editor~iii~Chief ............ Russell Kotul Managing Editor . . , .Robert Jaf’fce News Editor .......................... Max Ephraim Sports Editor ......................... Howard Coyle Copy Editor ......................... Thomas Yeakle Business Manager .................... Robert Winblad Faculty Adv - .Wulter Hendricks A ” rmrfiimjarrr‘mm; l r lbsli Edi Ri to Flilitor Aron rhvnt Editor» 1101er Ilnrlunek. Jami-s Meyer. r‘ -. l-‘riiturnily Editor l'imy Rmulcrs Importer» ‘ llwr'. ouu N. Lorine. B. Men . Colnnl. J. Hartman B Mandel. B. Millovillc, J. . "an. l‘l, Kalnin. H, l Rnirh‘l. Nu'huluun. F, Rt J, E. Rosonlhnl. S. Silvvrman. ‘lr'VurldirIlllon, H. Zimmerman. Asut. Spurtn Editor 'I'nm ('lark Sports Writers L. Nor-kus, .1, Ratio. E. \No or Spoer Reporters F. Anderson. F. DvMoney. .l. l‘ahr-y (Turbo-mist J. Mir tonic ”inusmuss DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager (0 culntlon :inmzer Frank Slavin Ralph Erismun Robert S Kohn roulution M aliaxtcr (TwOps Ci untlon Mnnnmvr Roger Smith Bumlmuu Awistnnm W. Spoth. P. Mayor Vol. XXL April 5, 1938 No. 8 The Last lunior Week? No doubt this year will mark the last junior Week here at Armour. in the past, the students and faculty looked for. ward to this annual event. Although classes werel held, students were allowed to “cut" any classes they wanted, as the class roll was forgotten for the entire week. If the clay was warm and one felt 1"]unior Week" will cause the students to turn like reading in the library or playing ball instead of attending class, no one cared. The entire week was utilized for the various sporting events; fresh~ men tried their skill against the sophs in baseball, while others tried to outrun the upper classmen. Students usually managed to spend one day during the week for “catching up" with back lab reports and homework—on other days probably at~ tend classes and engage in one or more of the many a events. Junior Week began officially on a Monday eve- ning with ”Open House" and the other events fol- lowing throughout the week with the freshman— sophomore rush on a Friday afternoon and the‘ Junior Dance as a climax to such a gala week. However, this year all will be changed. Accord- ing to a report from the Dean's office, Junior Week will last for a brief three»day period. Classes will be dismissed for the three days and the. sport» ing program jammed with activities. lf classes are dismissed, what will those con» scientious students do who are not interested in sports? No doubt, they will spend the day at home making up some "back sleep,” not caring whether they come to school or not that day. Other stu- dents placing homework first and sports next, will consider the fact that the end of the semester is not far off and spend their time on the homework and lab reports, thus resulting in poor attendance during the three clay period. In past years, the majority of students would find time to correct or prepare the reports during some spare moments during the week. The period is so short this year, it seems a heavy burden to be placed upon the Junior Marshals in arranging the activities. We believe that the short period allotted for away from the original purpose, resulting in few men taking part in the activities. Small Bloude with Brunette Fascinates @ur Marl. Moimtuiueer lly ART HANSEN Deer Sally, Halfstoop Scram woncc Sled, quote wMary lived in a dell, fcl down in the familey well. Mother whcnt to draw some water, sod—gosh it’s hard tew raise a dawter. Unquo’cc. Well, Sally, another weak has swished on, and things hav hen hay» peningM-to men. The other days I whom to a department st()l'(3~v0VBl" grown generil stores like Unklc Half» highs-in the loop. 1 {recs up to a pretty 2a], a cute blond with black hare and mazcara. Gosh, Shea were gorjous, like an olde dishi’ag‘ in a mud puddle. l sez to her—Den yeu sel triangles hear, you no, three cor— nered things, Shore thing, Shea sez coyly, wat sizc’.’ 0h, forty-five or sixty, I sez. Gosh, wea don’t hav them that size, shca rcplyed. Wcl, deu you have “T” squares, I sez. “Why, they are the same thing-s, un- folded,” sez her. Say, what is this, replies; 1. Ben you hav dividers, you no, those things with points on them? “Shurcly, wca shure deu," she answered, safety pins or strait,” and shea looked at men again coyly. “How olrlc is the little deer?” “Wat deer,” I 322, “I‘m no hunter, I jest ‘ want sum drawing supplyes,” “Draw- ing supplycs,” Shea crycs, “why this is the baby department !” Lastc weak won daye were April fuel daye, and everybody were play- ing joakes on eetch other. ln won klass a teechcr gave a flask halve, filled withe HOH and withe a won hoalcd stopcr and a alas tube thru it to a stewdent. Sez the proi’., “Yeu looke bige and hushy (yeu puney little thing). I want teu sea howe much air you can bloue (didydro—oxie) , -' into this bottle without lettin‘ any . owt. Yewrc pal wil blow in another l bottle at the same tyme.“ watch mca,” so: both. Then they started to blowe. 'l‘hEy blew without stopping till there fazes white, then blue, thence red, thence green, and finally an eggplant ycl» low. Botho bekame crhawsted at ‘the some tyme. and quit. Bcfour they could get the tubes owl of there mouths the pressure acted. H ten 0 came owt ther iers like from a firc‘hose, almost drowned one “Eazy, 3 Hair beer. I'll bet it isn't trcu, I don’t think so, anyhow. And the silly in- ventions they mentioned. Why did not they mension my invensions like my skyskmper withe rubber beems, so it could swing and sway. Also, my invcnsions teu make a cor stop, inetod of the present unsafe waycs, mine being: (:1) having compressed aire tanks on the front of the car lieu blow bak against it. or (b) posts that pop up in the middle of the streat, cars using rubber bumppers.i or (c) sand and crshcd gravel in the break drums, the lith created wcld« inig together the wheat and the drum, stopping czu', id) autos withe iron wheals, strcats made of iron, and a magnetic force betwcan them, stop» ping car, and to) pretty girls every 10 yards 50 Wed would slow down AUTOMATXCALLY! It isn't. tecehing an olde dog new tricks that’s so difficult, lt's find— ing an olde dog; that doesn‘t no awl the tricks. Yures, ‘ STOOPBRAIN BLlSS. Fraternity , Noie§___ ‘ By DOUGLAS M CDONALD ,' All fi'uternily note.- 1 st hv “(l-('t‘lved by the fraternity editor be re noon in order t appear 1 ~ next issue. Pl mu PM! Thursday b The ping pong team is still func», y tioning and managed to take the} first match of our series with Phil Pi Phi, here's hoping we have the: same luck Monday. l Congratulations to Phi Pi Phi on their winning of the bowling tour-y nament. A lengthy sing practice was held, last Thursday; brother Malela rear—l ranged our songs so that they sound ‘ 1 like tipi-tipi-tin, or something. l turned 1 guy, and put the klothcs of guy no. ‘ 2 in a super aturated condition. “Yes, sir, boys," svz prof., “yeurc okay. ! can get yen a job this sum» mer making speeches for a politician. They can use plenty of wind.” The skool paper harlc also an APRIL—FUEL edition, and did it make sum people BURN. Also cruzeu stories about thugs and Cut—throats PHI Pl PHI , Gamma Chapter takes pleasure in, announcing; the pledging of: l Earl Covingion—Cl’tE. ’41. The chapter wishes to congratu- late Brother Ronald Monson on be~l in}: pledged to Chi Epsilon, honorary CE. fraternity. Our president. Thomas Conical was elected Junior Marshal, reprcfl senting the Civil Engineering: De» partmcnt. , The chapter had a few guests, , throughout the week. George Rczacfli CE. ’29, was in town and stoppedi in to pay a Visit. Brothers Gene: Sullivan and Frank Smithson froml Purdue visited us last week. l j wouldn’t be surprised _ homes and The mothers and sisters held a tea. at the house, Sunday, April 3. While the mothers were at their meeting, tho men entertained the sisters. Vandekiel‘t, Collier, and De Mont seemed to have a most enjoy- able time. PHI KAW’A Sick/m. The Mother’s club held their monthly meeting last Sunday, and with a goodly number attending, the meeting was a success. We wish to thank Delta Tau Del: for the keen competition and sportsmanship which they showed in the ping pong match. We shall have our next match with Theta Xi. We wish to congratulate Harold Stehman for his. membership in the Honor ‘A.’ We also congratulate Tom Clark for his election as cap— to The Slipsticls Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. m. M The Slipstick takes pleasure in an— nouncing; the acquisition of a new joke book, “Jokes For All Occasions,” and I do mean all occasions! Here’s a sample gag for on eye— opener: Question: Who named the town of Sheboyg‘an, Wis? Answer: An Indian whose had given birth to another son. 15 that a little too rich for your blood? wife girl, or mom, dog, a. park, street lump lighting up the. dark, word, a match, cigarette. And then they settled down to pet The day, of course. Why, yes, The Dog. Lbl>>3> The Kale Kid. GAG OF THE WEEK The highly sensed gentleman halt- ed before a. solitary tree on the ave» nue, and regarded it as intently as he could, with the result that he saw two trees. His attempt to pass re- sulted in a near concussion of the brain. He reeled back, but present.— ly sighted carefully. and tried again, with the like result. When this had happened a dozen times, the unhappy stew lifted up his voice and wept. “Lost—lost,” he subbed. “Hope~ lossly lost in an impenetrable forest!” Little Audrey, just for fun, Climbed upon the bed Ami hammered nails in mama's hum]. Audrey was quite eluted, Mama was quite irritated. Miller. The optimist fell story of a skyscraper. the fourth story, he muttering: “So far, so good!" from the top As he passed was overheard A [group of tourists were looking over the inferno o‘l' Vesuvius in full eruption. “Ain’t this just like hell?" ejaculated a Yank. “Ah, zesc Americans," exclaimed a Frenchman, “where have zey not been?" B. R. 5. tain of the boxing squad, and or; Junior Marshall for the Mcchanicnls, DELTA TAU DELTA Spring is here (‘5) and the Delts have already started practicim,r for the inter'fratcrnity baseball tourna- ment. The Phi Kaps, defending champions, last week had the good fortune to beat us, two games to one, in the first. round of the interim- temity ping-pong battle. Paul Adair hung his badge last week and we to see him “miildle-aislmg it" any year now. THETA Xi Our party last Saturday was well attended and a good time was had all. Our- ping-pong team is, practicing for our match with Phi Kappa Sig— ma. TRlANGLE NEW/g The election of officers for next year was held Friday and the follow- ing men were elected: Prcsideiitv~00n Ragga, Vice residem~ErL Loutzenlteiser. Treasurer-lVillium Penn. Rec. Scc’y—wflm Renter. Corr. Scc’y‘Robert Graham. Steward—George Frost. Editor—J‘lawmd Coyle. These officers will be officially installed on April 12th at the Found- er’s Day Banquet. Tuesday, April 5, V933 THESE ARE THOROUGHBRED iSN'T—mis one ARABtAN HORSES. SOME FOLKS SAW ARABIAN 1 THAT PAJxlO- BYTE PROCESS CERTAINLY ASSUQES AN YES, AND PRINCE ALBERT SURE lS 'TAS FOR A TOBACCO THAT'S $0 SMOOTH AND , m\ PRINCE ALBERT WM A ‘FlND’ FOR ME. i222? ‘Wl‘whdldlhhllifid AND A ll/llELLOW} COOL, 5L