Tuesday. March 29, l938 madam Techawks Lose Again; Fizzle Out Against Evanston Coeds Armour’s Party Rays End Worst Season in 20 Years Coach Broke After Buying Team Cakes; WIFE THREATENS DIVORCE Winding up a season strewn with noble defeats, Armour’s inimitable and self-styled Techawks stumbled through their final contest with the National College of Education girls five, ending their schedule in a blaze of yrlory with a 47 to 13 defeat. The Armour squad showed unusual fight, eleven regulars being elimi— nated on personal fouls for holding and unnecessary roughness. What (A) Form Blondie West, star forward on the Teacher’s five, was high scorer with eleven baskets and a couple dozen free throws. Whenever she got the hall the Techawk five was so im— pressed with her beautiful form they just stood by and let her shoot. Bill O’Brien took scoring honors for Tech when he accidentally sank two shots that were intended as passes to O’Connell, but Slippfd oil" his hand. Bill claims he couldn’t help it. Coed Forward Noll Forward Enough for Swanson The first quarter was a one sided affair (as thoth the remaining three were not). The home squad had difficulty getting interested in the game. After meeting his attractive opposing forward, a tall blondc named Olson, Ed Swanson wasted four minutes trying;r to wangle a dinner invitation and consequently didn't exhibit his usual flash. Armour made her first tally when Jack O’Connell tripped over the free throw line and G. E. Brown kicked the ball through the, girls’ basket. Although not two points for Tech, it shows the unusual scoring abilities of Coach Grand Bencher’s boys. Henriksen Thrown Through Hoop Henrikscn opened the second period by making: two points for Tech when he wouldn’t let go of the ball and an Evanston Amazon heaved both him and ball through the Ar- mour hoop to amuse the audience. The crowd cheered Ed Wagner when he hit the referee in the leg for giv- nig: Sylvia Sweet, N.C.E. star for— ward a free throw because he kicked her in the stomach. Pceved at the decision of the scor— er, the Armour five held up the game for eight minutes while they pouted under their opponent’s basket and refused to smile for the newspa» per photographers. Coach Bencher promised the boys free nickel cokes all around if they wouldn’t get sore again, and the game continued. Conspiracy Nets Two Points Armour trailing by 36 points, the girls began to get bored. While the guards were talking about their last nite’s dates, flashy Bill Scherer de- flated the ball and hid it in his trous— ers for a safe place. Disguised as a newspaper reporter, he sneaked along the sidelines until he stood under the basket. Bill O’Brien told jokes to the forwards and center to distract their attention from the Techawks scoring conspiracy, while Hoffman blew up the ball again. Norkus then held Scherer on his back and Bill dropped the ball through the hoop for a leg- itimate two points. Time was called while Manager Yeakle untangled Scherer’s hand from the net on the basket. Bill had reached all the way through to be sure the ball would pass the ring and got caught in the net on the way out. Chelgren Starts Fruit Dance With two minutes to go, Al Schrieber was sent out to find the referees, who had stepped out for a couple of beers. By this time Ar- mour had 13 men on the floor and the Freshman squad besides. The Evanston team captain complained of overcrowded conditions and poor ventilation, so the game was called. when Bill Chelgren started a big apple in the free throw circle. Teeh’s Bone floating Skull Crushers Kill Seven out of Eight @pponents Win U. S. Mat Title asideioree Flees from Sunbeam Weissrnan’s Junior Butchers Coach Sunbeam Weissman’s mat manglers and maulcrs were awarded first place in the 1938 live stock show at the International Amphithe- atre last nite. When Weissmun found out the United States wrest- ling- championships were being held at the stadium and not the amphithe- ater, he rounded up his herd of hard boiled hairy grapplcrs and weni'to 1800 W. Madison where his team took their second blue ribbon for the evening. Dunne Amines Crowd Ton Armour gorillas entered the ring and ten disappointed opponents left it. At 11:30 last night the Chiv cage Fire Department was still try— ing to extricate the 135 pound op- ponent of Jimmy Dunne who got tangled in the girders when Dunne got tired of playing with him and tossed him Skyward. Armour made 40 points for first place, while Whoa» ton, DeKalb and North Central were in a three way tie with 0.0033 points each. McDaniel, 118 pounds of m'issloj and grr—r-, started the evening off” by making four ladies faint in the front row when he smiled at them. He took his opponent in his left hand, squeezed the blood from his body with his rig-ht and then beat. his brains out on the back of a third row seat. Till Opens North Wall Weissman cautioned Tili's Oppon- ent in the 125 pound division not to get him angry. The sucker didn’t believe in hints, and when he stuck his thumb to his nose, 'l‘ill laughed a hearty laugh and threw him through‘ the north wall of the stadium, where he was imbeddcd in two feet of granite on a flat across the street. Captain Dunne, a little barrassed at the rash actions of his boys, tried to be gentle with his sub— ject but gave it up after breaking both his arms with a couple of cute kcy locks. Disgusted with such busi- ness he tossed him into the roof trusses. Hanna wrestling in the 155 pound class had an awful time locating his opposition. Every time he’d get a death hold on his man he’d lose him in the hair on his chest. Weissman finally gave Hanna 0. c0mb with which the latter extricutcd his 155 pounds of annoyance and proceeded to polish him off by weaving a hu- man rug out of his limbs. “Stretch” Maxant in a big; hur- : ry to see his gal, Bunny, took his opponent and pulled him apart in the short time of 22.1 seconds. When the referee and Milxant could no longer find any more of his con- testant, he was awarded the bout on a default. Yanks Head 0" . Tullgrcn condescended to sign autographs for his feminine admir- ers before he took his man down. Tullgren isn’t very gentle and Weiss iman had to remind him to leave in.“ lopponent’s head behind before he i took his shower. McIntyre, “bloody Mac," for short, was unusually rough last night, At'~ iter three seconds of speedy grap- .pling he took his opponents hcel be, tween his jaws and hit his arch off. Mac lost his appetite due. to stage fright, so he just took the several hundred pounds of beef he was con» tending with, broke it up and gave lsouvenirs to the ladies. l 0m- TECH NEWS l l lilhiidki’fh TO LOSE Reputable sources today disclosed the fact that Armour Tech has on- tered a team in the Davis Cup play for 1938. After 27 years of con- stant coaxing- and pleading by the Cup authorities, Armour has finally condescended to let her talent pre- dominate the world’s most colorful tennis tourney. It was only after a written promise had been made that Tech wouldn‘t have to pay for her tennis balls did she agree to enter. Tech Too Good for Prelims Because Armour’s team is l‘t\l(‘.il‘ the scodicst, it will not have to both-l or with interzone play. Said Natin—l chek to the press in an exclusive and l confidential interview, ”It would\ just be 21 waste of time and effort for Armour to bother herself with eliminating South America, Africa and Australia in the intorzone play. Besides we don’t want to hurt their feelings. Hence, we have decided to play in only the semifinals, and of course, the finals." The sound will leave Chicago April ll) for Wimble- don, l‘lnpclund, on an ore bout. That Armour will sweep the finals and bring; the old tarnished silver mug to 3300 S. Federal Street, has already been decided upon. At thel squad’s last meeting “Baldy” Nat~ inchek admitted he could trim Baron Gottfried Von Cramm string-ht sets for the singles championship. Palka and Kuhik decided to whip Von Crumm and Heinrich chkle in v the doubles. Polka said he must rc— jmnin true to his girl or he’d beat them in love sets. England Fact-o Disappointment Swanson has already written Bun— ny Austin, British dub, not to get i his hopes up for the semifinals, smce he hasn‘t a chance against him. Ed in , is to be commended for his kindness Page Three ‘ lWobster tirade School. Noses @ut Track Stars in Close Meet, idfimg Coach Root Overibyed with Excellent Showing of Armour’s Outshining' the chhawks in every event except the two mile relay, the colorful Daniel Webster squad cinched the annual Armour Way- lays, staged at 33rd and Wentworth last Sunday night at midnight. About their loss in the two miler, “Streaky” Gravy, captain of the grammar school selections, said, “Hi you can't steal a chicken inside of“ a mile, you ain’t livin' in do right neighborhood.” The trouble with 'l‘cch’s low scor- ing; in the 105—.09 meet, was ac~ credited to the shorter distances de- manded by the Webster mnrblo shooters. While Tech has been do- ing the 70 yard events, the neigh- borhood opponents are used to cov— ering only three or four yards purl evening. Dark Home (?) Wine The highlight of the meet oc— curred as Cunningham Slam, dark horse of the opponents, made a realu istic finish that brought out the en» tire neighborhoml, ten shotguns, and the squad. His event was a coin- bined cross country, hurdle, and 50 yard event. The fastest run of the meet was clocked after he reached the 49th yard and the cops paced him back over fenskc’s for a 11:08.9 mile. A volley of shots from the various backyards that happened to compose the runway, led to the only individual award of the ninhtnwthc in trying to make it easy lor English tennis enthusiasts. When Coach Colvcrt heard this the trip to Wimbledon. Further— more, he expects to be introduced to, the members of the tennis squad sometime next week when the team; bl” Dubs shot p1 put directly in the seat of Slam’s shorts. Rounding the last turn of the ate atcy Ryan was right behind “Strea— ky” Gravy of the Visitorsw—about 100 yards behind—when the safety pin holding Gruvy’s thi'ce—cm'nercd punts gave way and he was forced to drop from the race. in the quarter-mile Jerry Munch, 999‘s third grade sensation, and a teammate from sixth grade showed their unwashed heels to Covington who was all tired out telling them about the Armour Waylays. Bingham broke another Armour record as he took a third in the 100vya1'd dash. His new record for this event is 5 minutes and 40 seconds, Al having: stopped off for only a short beer rather than the usual stein. Ruthen— hero; had a little trouble in the. high hurdles as he knocked down all but one hurdle and ran around that. Cap. tain Dunbar put on a magnificent sprint in the 220-yard dash to almost catch those six eighth graders who led him to the tape. Enact-i skiers entertained Jack ten last Sunday after- Bill O’B " - team had finally agreed to win the O'Connell mum Cup he suggested that the finals be held behind Chopin Hall and have “Gilli. Will swap physics lab for one good ketball team 'or what have you. holds its annual tea dam-o and bridgol, Apply A~ 1- To 3308 S. Federal party in the Armory. Street, Chicago—Adv. America’s great filmmaker and personality w every Monday night at “7:30 pm Edit, 6:30 pm Chili, one pm M. 5.11, and 7:50 pm P. S.’.i‘.,ovcr tZolumbia Network. or Hear the great Goodman Swing Band "go to town.” Every Tuesday night at: this new time—«9:30 pm EJS.T., 8:30 Pm (3.5.13, 7:30 Pm lit/1.8.11, 6:30 Pm P. 8.11, over {Jolumbia Network. ”the illillli i 3,» ~ , . V \.».~, e mils s . “wk-R ,v on x v - fives.