Page Two ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, March I, “935 Amour Tech. News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Federal St. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year l937 Member I938 Rssocioied Colleoiate Press “Entered as second class matter at the post office at Chicago, Illinois, under the act of March 3, 1879." @231 $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in—Chief. . . . .................... Russell Kotal Managing Editor ..... . ....... . ........ Robert Jafi’ee Sports Editor ................ Howard Coyle News Editor .......................... Max Ephraim Copy Editor. . . . ..................... Thomas Yeakle . .Robert Winblad . . .Walter Hendricks Business Manager .............. Faculty Adviser . EDITORIAL DEFARTMEN’II‘ ‘Denlt Editor Rewrite Editor Assistant _ _ Aasignment Bartusck. James Meyer. Francis Opllu Feature Robert Perry Columnis Hansen. James Hebson, B nard Sternfcld. Abe . y Roar] L. Burn, E. nl . R rte: C. Cipowski. CD1 5 El Kulnin, B. Mandel. N. Nalinchek. . man. F. Rch. J. Iteidcl. S. Silverman. . Norkus. J. Kath). E. Worcester Sports Reporters F. Anderson. I", DeMoney. 11. Flu er, . an BUSINESS DEPARTMENT .ank Slavin Ralph Erisman obe Kohn Smith No. 3 Advertising Man Circulation Manager Circulation Mnnagep Roger Vol. XXI. March 1, 1938 On behalf of the faculty and members of the student body, we Wish to extend to Leroy and How- ard Downing, our sincere sympathy upon the death of their mother last week. The juniors Give a Formal Once again the junior class presents its annual formal dance. It's a gay colorful affair where the usually drab Techawk bursts out in resplendent. albeit occasionally borrowed or rented, raiment. Affairs such as this are not regular occurrences to an engineering student, and if he should happen to feel like a girl does before her first date, while he struggles with his tie or searches for a collar buf— ton. he may be excused indulgently, for there really is something special connected with the tra- ditional Junior Formal which one should experi— ence while still an undergraduate. There is another side of the picture not quite so pleasant—namely that of financing so ambitious an affair. by the class in the event of a deficit and by the student who plans to attend. Approximately nine hundred dollars will have been invested in the dance by the junior class after all of the expenses have been paid. In order to meet this expenditure about one hundred and seventy bids priced at $5.50 éach will have to be sold. Obviously the junior class. which numbers only about one hun- dred and seventy students, cannot, of itself. make the affair a financial success. Support of the Junior Formal from the other classes is imperative The student planning to attend the formal also has a problem. How many lunches will be skimped. how many minor luxuries suppressed, how many dollars borrowed in order that he attend will never be known, but they will be considerable. The pecuniary anguish is worse for the more poorly situated student who doesn't possess formal clothes. He must dig deeper and rent them. If it happens, as it frequently does, that he has already dug to the bottom, he just doesn‘t go. However. in that event, he will attend the dance in more than spirit, for it is his activity fee, as well as that of those who attend, which will pay for the deficit which is invariably associated with the Formal. There has been some talk in favor of returning the junior Formal to its traditional Junior Week date. There are many arguments for and against this point of view. It is true that a winter formal is usually a better affair than the summer variety. It is just as true that it is more expensive to the student. At Armour however, we believe the winter formal to be preferable for several reasons. The main reason is, that ie leaves the last night in Junior Week open for an informal dance which more students can attend as a climax to the week. The school should offer at least one formal dance each year and the Junior Formal is it. Our best wishes, therefore, to the junior class on the success of its forthcoming Clarice. Its a grand affair and deserving of student support. If the students are unable financially to support it, it should be dropped. However, we don't believe that to be the case. Fraternity Notes RHO DELTA RHO We take great pleasure in an- nouncing the pledging of the follow- ing men: Deer Sally, Hill Billy Will Don “Soup and Fish ’ for Swanky Formal Dance The goodc die young, and the olde1 riting'!" “Aaiu’t got nothing to rite ‘cums up and sez, “why, isn’t yew Garrison G. Hollowich Harry Loomson Arthur Welsch Iongl‘atulations to the new man! Congratulations, also, to brother Max Zar on his being elected to the presidency of Chi Epsilon. Our next house party, a Monte Carlo party has been set for March 12. The arrangements are being handled by Irv Footlik, Sam Spencer, and Bernie Sternfeld. The informal initiation and hell week will occupy the third week in March, and the formal initiation and banquet the last week in March. TRIANGLE 'Triangle fraternity concluded its week of pre~initiation festivities and formally initiated the following men: Howard Gayle Robert Graham John Kirkland Robert McMahon Edward Steinlce Robert Sweeney We are also pleased to announce the pledging of Bert McCleneghan, Co~op ’43. THETA Xll We are pleased to announce the formal initiation of, Richrwd J. Hmwlu ’42. William Wilson, Jr. ’42. Captain Edward Mock tells us that ‘the pledges know their lessons; but :their jokes are still poor. We ex— pected that. Pledge Mangan usually comes to school on his own private motorcycle, but due to the unfavorable weather he has been forced to ride the elevat- ied like a human being. We congratulate Bro. Young on 'his pledging to Pi Nu Epsilon, but we’re still trying to discourage his whistling around the rooms. “Gen- tlemen, gentlemen!” Pres. Glos is a frequent visitor to Beta Theta Chi sorority where he is dye to keep looking that waye, Un- quote. Its so sad. \Vel, old girl, I are beer aginl A weak has pased sinzc yew rote too me, an I were shore serprized to beer that youl‘e sister Amorphus finaly got marryed. Gosh, I shure that she were goin to bee. an old made. However, I gess that eleven years wazent too Societty life has engulfed mea agin. Stoolibrain Bliss, the bow brum— moi of Chicawgo. the anzer to every maids hart. Lasts weak I sung (ac- ompanyed by a glca club and orkes- tra) at the Goodman theater. Was I gud? Wen I sung everybody put there finger in there ears, I gess so that they culd concentrait on my singing better. Even the conductor of the concert praysed mea. He sed, quote, ether yewr of? key, or awl the reste of us our. Gosh, it waz nice of hime to tel awl the rest that theye were off. Sumbody remarked I had a F-flat monotone voice. I gess thats reely sumthing, cause nobody elze has won. Imagine a Herring in My Pocket Item no. 2 on my societly liste is the junior Prom (I gess it meens prominent). Everybody are gain whoring foode insted of klothes. Seems funny to mea, but I heerd won fellow say that they were awl going to where soup and fish! Emagin a herring stiking owt of my pocket. Wei, I hav finally found owt the difference between a. diplomat and a ladie. Wen a diplomat sez yes, he meens perhaps, wen he sez perhaps, he meens no, and wen he sez no, he Is no diplomat. Wen a lady sez no, she means perhaps, wen she sez per» naps, she means y'es, wen she sez yes, Shea is no lady. In a english quiz the other daye, my friend Alf juste sit there, not riting or dewing‘ anything. Prof. instructing in Greek culture and ethics, and pitching a little woo on the side. ' with.” Prof sez:“ wcar’s yewr pencil, Alf?” “Ain’t got none teecher," he re- plys. “Howe many tynles hav I tolde yew not to say that"—-sez teech. “Lis- ten, I hav not got won, yew hav not got won, we havent got won, they haven’t got won—~" “My, mie," Alf interrupts, “wear is awl the penzils.” Sally, I hav hen having the most wonderful experiences lately—Every nite befour I go too bed I eat cheezc orarehit, I gcss yew card it. Then, every nite, my dreems are invari- baly in technicolor. Girls Check False Teeth Wel, instalment II of my grate novel—quote—Skool life in Gulch— Kreek valley, or “Yew Only Die Wonce~Unquote. Dawns the day after the midnite befour. Beautiful Jullietta McJuice, the sugar czar’s dawter (he’s a sugar daddy) arrivves at the county skool of New Wyoming on her mule, stranely enufl‘ becuz she is the teecher. Orfie Basiltwerp, our hero, is in 7th graid, partly becus he lovs her, and partly becuz hiz olde man is in 8th graid. The bel rings, and skool are begun. The boys check there guns, and the girls check there false teeth. The daye cums to a klose, wen aw] of a sudden 8 shots ring owt. Cries are heard from with- out. “It’s awful I” “Wat a mess!” “Such blood!” “Hea had it cunning!” “This wil raize a big smell”, etc. Jul— lietta, the fare, her face sickening with horrer (six gunfights in the school in a weak had maid her ner- vous) rushed owt, just as Orfie saing owt—quote “—there, I guess that wil teech skunks too steer clear of this skool (hear skunk is used as an animal, deer Sally, in place of the usuall meaning of an affectionate term for sum person). As the Shakesperian acter after 15f: nite worlce sed — quote ~— wen I walked owt in tights, they laffed; wen I bent over, they split. I wil dew the same and klose. Yures, Stoopbmin Bliss. The Slipsticlc Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly Where it may. Gee, it’s great to be famous! The mail box is overflowing with letters (all two of them). Everybody has something to say. For instance: Editorial Board — “$%i‘%%&l You’re :firedll Dr. McNamara—“Son, you sound a bill whacky." Father—“Is this what I’m paying money for?” Dolores—“Consider yourself jiltv ed.” Sid Kreiman—“I’ll niCItcl.” open for a :1: a: *- POME' 1 Any girl can be you In a classy coupe; In a. taxi they can all be jolly— But the girl worth while Is the girl who can smile When you’re bringing her home in a trolley! is lit “Did you hear Helen’s getting mar- ried today?” “Who is the lucky man?” “I’d say her father." ll: =t= '= “It’s hard,” swirl the landlady, “to lhlnlc a young calf was killed to satis— fy om- appetites.” “ch,” said the unhappy border, biting his steak, “it is tough.” t- l‘ ll: Wife: “I have to give Junior so many spankings." Hillsbaml: “Well . . . maybe I’d bet- ter not buy that. new emu—you’re learning to be a back seat driver already." ’1': iii ll! Please, fellows, at least crack a smilcl I’m depending on this job to support a child and three wives. 1k y]: ll: Song of the Schmior I’m thru with all women, They cheat and they lie. They prey on us schmiers till The day that they die. They tease us, torment us, and Drive us to sin— Say, who is that blonde that. Just; now came in? ll: >l’- ‘r‘fi . . . no I walks up to this editor and sayn, “Linton, mood indigo, didn’t I tell you to quit panning my column?" Then I fointa with my left and crosses over with my rightmjust once—that’s all that was necessary. Oh, well! I’ve got a. big brother V . . .. with. telephone poles .. ' l the shell and goggled agams 152ml. dust, telephone men hay: followed the 400 year old tral of Coronado in building; the 211m]: transcontinental tigeplgfincs?:.n , e . eccutly complete . . ' Jiards took many days to cross the trncltloss Southwest, dimming - . ' return- , 5 to lde their ‘ Blake g“ this desert mo You can open . . mainly over the new line. beams: the pioneering spirit o't Corona still lives. Oceans,mountains,dosortsy1eld that epitit,bringing 1e Bell System goal: dable telephone commuulu here! do on P with anyonea ““YW cation who arm . . . B. R. S. 5m pounce ALaem cam/awry 4; ., l9 MILDfTHERE l$N'T ,A ‘ l arr OF Tongue-one! it may l‘l’/ é” } 'TAS‘TV ' i 4 5% pipefule of fragrant tobacco in every 2—0:. Rim of Prince Albert ECAUSE 0F "ll-IE SPECIAL NO— BITE PRO . VOU'LI- FIND IT RIGHT THERE ARE IOTS OF THINGS I'D SKIMP ON“- BUT NOT ON MY TOBACCO. PRINCE ALBERT , COSTS LITTLE ENOUGH, CONSIDERING HOW llllllfil IT SMOKES AND HOW GOOD wreaths SMOKE 20 FRAGRMNI' PIPEFULS of Prince Albert. If you don't in it t c mollowest, tastiest pipe ta- ynu over smoked, return the packet tin with the rest of the tobacco in it to us at any time within at month from {his date, and we will refund full purchase price, plus postings. (Signed) R. J. Reynolds Tobacco» Company, Winston-Salem, North Carolina