Page l we Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Federal St. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year l937 Member l938 mssocioled Collegiate Press ARMOUR TECH NEWS l take more than a diploma away. There is the re- ‘sultant ability which comes from four intensive years of study: there is the realization that they are Armour men. The only flaw in the rosy pic ture is that industry is under the so-called ”re- pression" and can not absorb all of them. A good number of them who do not obtain jobs will accept fellowships to Armour or other schools. “Entered as second class matter December 8,1937.at The rest W'“ do what? If they are wise lLhey Will the post ofi’ice at Chicago. Illinois, under the Act of March keep their finger in the engineering pie in some 3.18 291 $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, EDITORIAL BOARD EDITOR- IN CHIEF NG EDITOR. T JAFFEE EEWSE G! MAX EPHRA SPORTSE EDI'OI‘OR TRDYEDXEEE COPYN Llsll’IOIt INBLAD AN 08 EACULTWS ADVISER WALTER HENDRICKS EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Desk Ed t ...... Cu rl Reh szriw Ediwr o n Keane Assignment Editors .. .. Robert rtusck James Meyer, Francis Om'ln Abst. Sports ‘Edi to? To lurk Mncdonald ryr ro B. ea,d E Paulhitis Hanson. J. Hebson. B Sternfeld, A. (olumnm . Zin— em Reporters M. Camras. E. Cnlu nt. 1. Dzikowuki. J Eur rtman. '.I' Hun ter. C Iker E. Knlnin. H: Krant t,z B. Man 61. B. Milk-ville. J. Nicholson Re J. eldl, E Rosenthal, S. Silverman, Wurldimzton Norkus. J. Ratio. E. Worcester Anderson. I“. DeMoneIY.M J.i Fahey Cnrtoonis rotsnic - RUBINESS DEPARTMENT Frank Slavin lvh Erisman Robert S. Kuhn Rover Smith Bu sineas0 Assistanta .. .. .. w. Speth. P. Mayer Vol. XXI. June 1.1938 No. 15 We take this nzryportumly to extend to the members of the faculty and student body our best wishes for a plow.» Advertising Manager Circulation Manager Circulation Manager—C Circulatio "' way or other. if they are not working in an engi~ 10 Cents Each , nee-ring field continuation of their studies in eve- ning school leading to a MS. is an excellent method. Engineers have made possible whatever claims this world may have to a concrete civilization. If the world is to continue to progress, it needs and will continue to need engineers—the young engi- neers who are graduating now. Therefore, although the world is seemingly rejecting young engineering talent and brains at present, it must absorb them in the future or backslide to a lower civilization. The system of government under which we will exist then is immaterial—the engineer will be an essential factor in it. And so to those one hundred and sixty—one grad» uates we offer our congratulations and the advice to “keep plugging.” Next Fall Upon returning to school next fall, we will find a "new school”. With a completely modem cafe- teria and soda fountain, redecorated assembly hall and a general modernization program promised, many of us will be anxious to return again in Sep~ tember. (”It SM’WLWM’I' vacation. Alter Commencement Baccalaureate sermon, diploma and—finis: one hundred engineers have completed their undergraduate edu— cation. It is, 11‘ course, superfluous to say that these men l commencement day a carrying on the l and SinY young Armour". New lighting fixtures will be installed through-- out the Main building and Machinery Hall. The grounds behind Chapin Hall will be landscaped, nstitute's program of “improving Honoraries will find the private dining rooms in- valuable for their smokers, banquets, pledging or initiation ceremonies. Fraternity Notes By DOUGLAS MACDONALD All fraternity notes must he received by [he iralernity editor before noon Thursday in order to appear in the next my ic W KAPPA PHI Last Thursday, we installed the following officers: Archou ......... Raymond A. Dodge Treasurer” ..Frtmlc J. Hcimlcureich Secretary... . . .Robert B. Maxwell .Roy B. Burman .E'rlwalrrl V. Mulclu After the installation we held a smoker and splash party for the new officers. The Mothers’ club bridge party of last Tuesday was a huge success. Congratulations to Brothers Paul Hoffman and William Buckman, the former on his election to the presi— dency of the F.P.E.S. and Sec.- Treus. of Salamander, and the lat— ter on his election as secretary of the Players‘ Guild. On June 10, the last Pi Kay social event of the academic year will be held. It is to be. a senior farewell party. Since this is the last issue, All reooir to Brothers Perlet, Spcer, and Thomas, graduating seniors. RHO DELTA RHO Last Saturday thirty-five Rho Delt couples “stomped at the Stevens” at our annual dinner dance. The affair was adjudged by all as magnificent. We now point to finals and then, as a celebration, to Brother Saltzman’s party. We held our last formal meeting last Friday where several summer af- fairs were planned, among them beach party and picnics. Study for finals is going on in (lead earnest here, for we plan to as- ‘ some our old position on top of the scholastic heap. Pill Pl Pill Gamma Chapter of Phi Pi Phi Fra— ternity takes great. pleasure in owl nmmcing the initiation of the follow— ing men: Harold Anllsz, C. E, ’39 Daniel (formal, Coop, ’41 Earl C'oviuglon, 017.15., ’41 Philip Virtue, F.P.E., ’41 The Chapter is also pleased to an- nounce the Pledging of Robert Sr'hmirll, Coo/10., Vern. I‘m'lrcr, Coop" ’41 Congratulations to Brother An- tlmn and Parker on being initiated into Tau Beta Pi. Nice going; fellas! ,, j l Cement Elisha News Full Term l’rogects Completing a most successful year, the Camera Club officers are now making plans for next semester. They are thinking of cutting down the membership of the club in order to provide maximum benefits for the more active members. Plans for a photography salon have also been discussed. The salon would be in the club rooms and would contain a permanent exhibit of mounted photographs. Some of the photographs will be obtained from time to time through camera contests sponsored by the club. Ernest Mehringer, student founder of the Armour Eye, is; graduating this June. The club will miss him and his invaluable aid towards the development of the organization. ElllCihiEElln-a (Continued from page out?) “A Day's Visit to Armour Institute.” His article describes the every day activities about the school in all of their phases. Since this magazine is sent to most of the alumni it should bring back many memories to them. The issue of the Engineer is to be the largest that has ever been pub- lished. According to the publication stafl' there will be almost 25,000 copies printed. They are being sent to all of the alumni. students, and several large industries. The maga- zine reaches people in every state in the union. This issue of the Armour Engineer and Alumnus will have a larger cir~ culation than any other school pub- lication in the entire world. Because of this, Armour Tech is receiving added prestige among the technical schools of the country, bringing the graduates of our institute a higher standing wherever they go. Because the Engineer is such an outstanding publication it gives employers who have not had any previous contact with Armour a favorable opinion. S. A., also on his being elected Presi— dent of the lnterfraternity Council and President of Beta Omega Nu, an intcrfI-aternity honorary on the cam- pus. Luck to our tennis team which is now all set to play off the finals ‘l'or the cup. The men of Gamma are looking forward to the annual Senior Fare— well Party which closes the year‘s so- cial season for the chapter. We will be sorry to lose Brothers Deuter, Dunbar. JohanSon, Morison, Parker, Congratulations also go to our President, Tom Collier, elected Vice»Presidc-nt of the A. T. on being , FREE Move Smoker in Mission Thursday Twenty members of the Fire Pro- tection Engineering department turned out last Thursday for their annual smoker. The function was held in room “D" of the Mission. All of those present. thoroughly enjoyed themselves at a "Monte Carlo" eve- ning, the phoney muzuma being sup- plied by president-elect I’aul Hof— mun. Several lively games of red dog and black jack started the rapid trun- sit of “money” from one player to another more fortunate. Along toward 9:30 the annual award of the CI‘osbj."Fiske»Forster Handbook was made to Tom Hunter by Professor Finnegan. This award is given each year by Slamander, the honorary fire protection fraternity, to the sophomore who made the best record in the department during; his freshman year. The award is one that is really worth working {or as the handbOOk mentioned has come to be looked upon by fire protection engi- neers us their “Bible." It contains just about all that is known about fires and fire hazards at the present time. Lyclkberg to Lead Alpha Elli Sigma During ’38-’39 Ollicers of Alpha Chi Sigma for the comingr year were elected last Thursday at the regular election meeting. B. K. Lyckberg was elected Mast/er Alchemist; C. R. Adeszko, Vice Master Alchemist; R. T. Smith, recorder. Reporter P. J. Pletier and treasurer R. B. Boertitz will continue their duties next semester. An informal initiation and Smoker was held on Friday, May 20, and on the following Sunday the formal ini- tiation ceremonies were held. Fol— lowing thesc, the members held a banquet downtown and later attended a show. Applications tor Student Mk New lleing Taken As in past years, part time work will again be available next semester for students desiring- to earn a por- tion of their tuition expenses. Stu- dents who have attended Armour at least one year are eligible for the school jobs. Application for these jobs should be made to the cashier on or before June 15. While there will be no definite in- formation concerning; N.Y.A. jobs until August, Mr. Sctterbei‘g believes that the program next your will be about the some as at. present. Ap— Plummcr, and Widcll, but we wish them much success in the work which 1 is before them. plicfltions for work umlcr the N.Y.A. will be taken in the laltcr part ol‘ ‘, August when quotas have been set. The Slipsticlr Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. First F00: “Say, that new farm hand you hired is certainly a dumb 111mm ..” Ser-oml Foo: “How come?” F'. R: ”Well, the dope found some milk bottles and he swears up and down that he's found a cow’s west.” 7k In a: CHALK IT UP FOR EXPERIENCE Bottle. Expectation. Grab. Wild elation. Smell. Polpitution . Drink. Damnation. Hriir tonic. Expectoration . Ill 9k 55 THE HUMAN BRAIN Is the most. wonderful organ in the world. It starts working the minute we get up in the morning and—.— It doesn’t stop until we get to 33rd and the tracks! 3k ’3 Woolworth Bldg.; “Why do you have one light?” Statue of Liberty: the more liberty." lit “The less light, * The technical name for sowing is sheet music. I¥ Judgre: “I fine you $1.10 for beat ing; your wife." Customer: “‘Ycr overcharging me. It should only come to a dollar.” Judge: “That extra dime is for Federal amusement tax in your case." =l< vii: Are you still reading? Let’s take time out for coffee. How many lumps of sugar? (Kind reader, here is where you get a break). Well, have 6. lot. Toke onul 1: 21a Il= Some people think it’s wrong to stand on street corners, but not me; i always stand there. Almost every- body sltops for me, and those that don’t ore foolish. I‘m attractive and sleek looking, Imd although I caution people I guess they can’t help going for me. You see, I'm a traffic light. ill t’fl Ik SONNET TO A SCARECROW When I was young I wanted to be, big slrnng mrm, an engineer you rec. I sun/rid my dough, for marry a year, And some to Tech, with. momy a fear. I wrmrr’t wrong, I soon found out, The dear old profs would whoop and shout. Study to twelve, sleep to six, School by eight, or be in a h ~— — - of a. fix. Four long years, cramming for ’zmms, Finally a sheepskin in my hands. Out into the world I happily went, Picturing the time I’d be a retired ald‘ gent. Eight long years, peace, (loch. {he nut howec is at great place. Pk Il- I’oe 76])08011 in ‘l' He was in the chem. lab, and the professor was explaining reactions to ion. This: liquid turns blue if your un- known is basic, and it turns red if the unknown is acid. “Sorry, but I'm color blnd,” apolo— gized the brain trust. “Have you got anything with a hell on it? :3 3! #5 First Drunk: “Jee, whizz, we must be having an earthquake or shum~ think.” Second Likewise: alive!” First Polluted: “Oh, boy, you know t ,, “Land shakes .2. s. r. “Boy. oh boy! That was some blonde with you last night. Where did you get her?” “Dunno, I just opened up my bill— fold and there she was.” >l< l. xl: He: She: “Wanna hear a good joke?" “Is it clean or funny ” x» :l: .9. Blue law of Illinois: “. and a person can not. take a picture of a man with a beard." Law student: “Of course not. has to use a camera." 11 e if Ethyl married Shell, where would Texaco?" ‘i~ $5- I? I must be leaving: (so scori'l). J . . B. ll BA PLAYED l'l ONLY TWlCE.’ @I‘éAgCaOWFm SCOTLAND N HURLED GIRLS ALSO JOlNED THE BATTLE! ‘Weclnescluy, June I, l938I ill tummy OLDEST. ‘9 THE NEW HOME OF ALPHA KAPPA Pl FRATERNI [Y NY ST. JIOHN'S‘ COLLEGE ANN’APOLlS‘ SlZ l6 YEARSO GOOD CLEAN Hill. I N A CLASY RUE: H [\T THE UNIVElGlTY 0F 20000 EGGSA D A AND FISH HEADS WERE Stoophruin dials School Fond Farewell, Home To Hillbillies and Sully Soon Deer Sally, Plato Ducksoup, immient awthor— ity on Hydrophilusopholigy sed to the assemblage of reseerch fown~ doshion A.I.'1‘. scyentists, quote—— Gantilemen, owr long recserch and experiment withe hundreds of blew- printz and micromceters on the question of wich home first, the hen or the egg, are futile. The egg are a duck's egg, unquote. We], Sally, a stpidenduows move- ment started at skoll laste weak, namely a. 40 millyon (anywaye it had a lot of zeros) dollar otcwdont unyon. Oh, boy, iz it going tcw boa sure]. The tenitive plans is oz fol- lows, ond they wil probably double it. First, they is going: tew com-l pleatly remodcll and redckorate the Misshing Bilding. They is going to streemline it, and paint it up four the first. tyme in 103 years I gross. Then they are going tew make big lowngcs and study I'umes. In won rume they owr going tew billed a bige bar, and starve frothy, intoxi- kating, invigorating, three per scent chokolato sodies. There is a ugly rumor that they are going tew hov sum classes also tcw compete withc awl this. Gee, I can hardly wate for skool to klose, summer va- kashion pass, and 51:00] to open agin next fowl so that wee can get going withe awl this. Skull Gets A. A. L. R. C. Prize Deer Sally, a grate honor befall the skoll laste weak. The A. A. L. R. C.~—American Associashion of Love and Romcos in Colledgc--— awarded us the yeerly metal and tin cup for owr outstanding (under the balconcy) uchcovemcnts in those fealds. We hav the largest amownt of grate lovers and womin’s idols in this skoll than in any other in the land (challengel). Our cassonovas receave letters and photos from awl over the York, kountry, including New Smith, Wellsly, Vassar, Alca— tum, Sing Sing and many other points. Feminin harts melt and there eyes drool won they sea and hear these men. And I hav hen do- ing my share tew help. Plan": Fishing Trip We], deer Sully, another weak and a halve and I’ll bea boom agin, withe owl the foalks and yew. fish— ing horshue crick, swimmin in grand» puppy’s well, hunting possum and wrebits in Bowscr’s wood, cllmming thr.I mugs 01’ Foothill mountins, and gazing into yewre eyes, wich are like moonlit pools of sunlite as Paddle- braln, my pet. hog, fondly rubs uginst my leg. Oh, boy, Sally, and I hav only won thing to worry abowt five tymes bentwcan now and then—~ cruminations. I am afrade the ezams our going to hit men on top of my bed and give men fallen arches. Again the profs hav mean glints in there eyes, and sheets on there faxes, as they face the trembling stewdents and withc a hollow lafi" rattle off the ninety-nine and one topics that. wee are expected tew no for the exams, the fore thousand equasions, and the posibility of being axed obowt any- thing beatwecn page won and page 1203. Yes, there is nothing like the with met I am going tew spend withe yew and the foalks. By the waye, tel Pa tew sharpen my axe. I‘ll be darned if I’m going: tow bottle those six foot moskitoes with a butcher knife, like I did laste summer. I always think 1' get. away from them. but they get mea, in the END Wel, Sally, must klose, as sum— won iz cuwling mca sweetly, and it isn’t the iccman. Yures, Stopbmin Bliss. Electroruotive florporul‘iou Visnted by Armour ASME. Lust Week—end Members of the Armour A.S.M.E. were conducted through the Electroa motive Corporation in La Grange, Illinois, last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons, May 25, 26 and 27. The tour was arranged by Prof. Ro-esch for thee days in ordei to allow the entire membership of the l society to attend as the plant lestricts the number of daily visitors to thirty. The plant, which is one of the new- l cst large industrial plants in the Chi» cugo area. is the home of many of the newest types of Diesel powered streamliners and switch engines. The popular Rock island “Rocket,” which is known to all Armour students, was built. in this plant. The group was, able to see the finishing touches being 1 applied to a new Baltimore and Ohio, streamliner in the paint. shops. Of interest to many of the mem— bers was the assembly floor where the locomotive is begun. Here worle men are cutting- und welding huge slabs of steel, some 3 inches thick. . l l l l l will contribute over ’ locomotives tots! we "ht of 1:36 mus The absence of castings in. the con— struction was apparent, notably in the truck suspension where the entire support for car, wheels and electric motors were built up of repeated welded sections of steel. After the frame is completed the Diesel units and the corresponding electrical equipment is set in place. The Wim Lon Diesel units which are assembled at the plant are unique in the respect fthnt. the entire moral block is built up of welded steel. The engines lungs from eight to twclw cylinders, have 8 inch bores, strokes of 10 inches and will develop up to 900 llP. at 750. .RP.M After the assembly is complete iii If UBII’IS £119 lfSt Fill} and giu‘n 9. :illfli inspection The plum is capable 0f ’tuininp' out a Lomplcié‘ locomotim :2 day running at ca [unstruc— tion of snitch engine lined locomotive diffex Eli-riot rover. The only (ll. eI-ences be sinus of the 9 s\\'l‘:cli . l' (zit‘S! 94;: a: l my 5:): {sis .