Page Two Amour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Federal St. CHICAGO. ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Your Member l938 Rssocioled Colleoiaie Press “Entered as second class matter December 8, 1937, at the post office at Chicago, Illinois, under the Act of March , 3, 1879.’ We“ $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD EDITO R-lN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR NEWS EDITOR HOM OBERT WINBLAD .WALTER HENDRICKS BUSINESS MANAGER . FACULTY ADVISER . EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Desk Editor .. Rewrite Editor . Assignment Editors Asst. Sports Edits Macdonulil r)’ . er G. Frost, B. Mend, E Paulaitis . . nnsvn. J. Ht-hsun. ll. Stornfeld. A. anem M. Camrns. E. Cnlnnt. I. Dzikowski. J. Hartman. T. Hun- C. lker, E. Knlnin. H. Kmntz. B. Mandel. B. Millev‘illo. J. F El J. Reidel, E. Rmenthal, S. Silvermnn, L. Norkus, J. Ratio, E. Worcester F. Andorran F. IJoMrmey, J. inhoy ....... J. Mirotanic Wudd imxton Sports Writers Sports Reporters Cartoonist ..... ..Frunk S'iluvin n-C us rt S. elm Circulation Manager—Exchanges Roger Smith Business Assistants: .. 1. Meyer Vol. XXI. May 17, 1938 No. 13 Post Modem on Junior Week The week is past—the sophs eked out their vic- tory over the fresh, the faculty took their last licks at the seniors in the faculty~senior baseball game; and all the other time-honored events became his— tory for this year. But while it is still fresh in our minds, let us decide on the future of Junior Week. now, before someone else decides for us. The alternatives are: to let it remain in its pres~ ent abbreviated form; extend it back to a full week; or discard it altogether. Before attempting an answer to so momentous an issue it would be best ARMOUR TECH NEWS to find out exactly what purposes Junior Week serves. It really isn't so heinous a crime for a student to stay home resting or doing back work during Junior Week instead of running around Ogden Field in some prearranged Junior Week event. After all, isn‘t it the purpose of Junior Week to provide a period of relaxation before the final ex- aminations? If the student finds his relaxation by staying home resting up from a semester of inten- sive studying, Junior Week has accomplished its purpose, for him at least. Most students. however, obtain the necessary surceTase from work by cutting loose from restraint, vigorously participating in class rivalries and com— petitions on the athletic field. it is for these that the main bulk of the Junior Week program is built. Finally there are those students who find home too dull and yet participation too vigorous. They form the main body of spectators. The Junior Week “breathing spell” is as necessary to them as it is to the other students. At any rate, it cannot be denied that Junior Week is an essential part of the school year. To lose it next year would wreck havoc on student morale and student grades. Recently we went on record as being against this “three day Week." We still are. We are against it principally for three reasons: first, because too many students stayed home due to the complete dismissal of classes; second. because that feeling of being rushed which haunts some of us all during the school year was still with us during this Junior Week due to its shortness; and third, because too many of the events of the former Junior Weeks were discarded. We are against the complete dis‘ missal of classes, because much of the incentive to come to school during the week (even if only to cut the classes) is lost. The only way in which the student body can bring about a return to the old Junior Week is by letting the school know how they feel about it. We will be glad to print any letter on this subject in our ”Mailbox.” Stoophruin Greeses card So No Wise Guy Could l’ull it Dear Sally: As quarterwit Halfbrain, Senator from the. state of Ignimnzc woncc sell to the Senate, wen questioned as tew why hoa had hiz socks termed inside owt, quotemmy feel. were burning, so I termed the hose on them, unquotc, deer Sally, and I hope yew owr the same. If yew that that I, had a tufl' tyme laste weak at open howsc, yew shuld hav scan mea laste Fridaye, won the peiweating contest an freshman, sof- more rush were held. After that, l kant whaite till I get hoam tew deer olde Hard Gulch vally, in those deer oldc mowtains bak beam. 1 maid six falze starts in the loci-eating contest Aitch tyme sum wise guy firing the gun and mca thinking it were the Starte. In thiz Way I ate fore peis befour the contest begun, and bye that tyme I was so In] that the win- nah walked, or shuld I say “ate away withe the trofy.” Grease on My Beer-d Next kame the freshmen sofmore rush, and oh boy, I put grcese an inch thick on myc heard so that know wize guy culd pull it. I hadent fig- ured on it getting an egg shampoo, however, and woulnot hav minded exsept that the eggs were slightly odorerus, like the wans I tolde yew abowt laste weak. Only these eggs were older yet. In fact, in the hect of mye beei'd, wear they had landed, threa eggs batched into little cbiks. Newsreel camera men wir there, but I didn’t look quite my best, withe greese on my beard, and straw in mye hare, minus my pantz and miss— lug my shoes. However, I mite get a screen offer to play a character tipe. Anywaz the sofs won, as usual, and a bige snake danze waz held. There waz a suspishion that the fresh that they were worms. Waz It Swell Fridayc nite waz the fiting klimax to it awl. The annual] junior infor- mal, and oh, baby waz it. fun. Deer Sally, I don’t want tcw make yew jellous or anything, beakause yew are still the fuzz on mye peeches, but I hade a swell girl—the same won with wich I registered 120 and tops on the kissOmeter at. Open house. Shea waz a honey, and reminded mea that wonce agin the birds were fluttering threw the tree-tops, flot- erring fl‘um bow to bow, and that soft breezes were wispering‘ threw the goldenrod and ragwcad. And the waye Shea. danzed, I hav never- befour ben able tew ride a wommins feat like I rode hers. Wen kissing l Primary/AIS/l. Election Today; Rune” Friday The nominating committee of the. Armour Tech Student Association under the chairmanship of R. Vande— kicft has made the following nominzn tions for the elective offices of the A. 'l‘. S. A. For first vice-president —C. Dell/lent, L. Norkus, D. Sunde, and E. Worcester. For second Vice- president—fl‘. Collier, P. Henriksen, E. Loutzenhciscr, and T. Yeakle. For secretary—«D. Mackcy, J. Meyer, F. Opila, and W. Yeager. The primary takes place today from 9:30 to Zzlr': in the first floor lobby of the main building. The run— off between the top two men will be held next Friday. The present offi- cers of the A. T. S. A. will conduct the election and act as judges. According to the A. T. S. A. com stitution, there must be at least two candidates for the elective offices, 'but the nominating committee has in— stituted a policy of nominating four men to make a wider choice possible. There is no election for president at any time, since the first vice—presi— dent of each year, a junior, assumes the presidency in his senior year, as provided in the A. T. S. A. constitu- tion. Accordingly, R. Vandekieft, the present first vice—president, will be president next year. The other candidates are selected so that the first vice—president and the secretary arc juniors during their term in of- fioe while the second vice-president is a senior. The nominating committee, who has made the selections, was com- posed of R. Vandckieft, chairman by virtue of his first vice~prcsidency of the A. T. S. A. as provided by the constitution, W. Chclgren. E. F. Wag- ner, W. Kruse, P. Henriksen, E. Wor- cester, and R. Graham. The commit- tee was appointed by the president of the A. T. S. A., C. Dunbar. % her, it reminded mea of a collie at the north pole—they were bothe so doggone nice. Wei, Sally, it won’t bea long long till summers hear agin, and final exams start sune, That means I wil hav tew get down tew work. We], as the girl wonce sed tew her Mother. quote-elm proposed ”Lew mea, but heas an atheist and doesnt beleave in hell, mother- replyed‘marry him, my dawter, and between us we will convince him that heas rung, uni quote, and hope yewre the same. Yurcs, Stoopbrain Bliss. @PEN MQUSE— (Continued from page one) Going; down another floor to the electrical lab, there were several fea- ture attractions. The main event was, of course, the “Memo-meter.” Near- by was the cathode ray oscillog‘ruph and the five meter amateur short wave station. In another part of the mom was a dial phone exchange on which the visitor could dial to turn on a lamp, vacuum cleaner or ozon- ator. The case had been removed from the working parts so that all the workings of the dial exchange could be followed easily. At the other end of the hall there were the tele— vision phone booths, another of the more interesting of the juice exhi- bits. Descending to the library, there were the displays of Prof. Spencer’s mathematics models and the camera club picture salon. Several interest— ing' portraits were shown by Profes- sors Hammett and Hennings, and stu- dents Grunwald and Mehringcr. The quality of the work showed what the Armour students can do and 1701'- trayed the keen interest that some engineers havo in the things outside of slide rules and handbooks. Great Interest in Tclza Coil Taking a stroll across the street, the huge 1,500,000 volt Tesla coil was in active operation. The effective- ness of this display was somewhat re« duced because of excessive moisture in the air, causing a large corona loss, but the crackle of the four-foot gap satisfied all comers. Taking a turn south to the physics lab, there were many interesting exhibits in op- eration, The action of gyroscopes, momentum balls, and electric phe- nomena were all on View. Bernoulli’s theorem for gases showed the Flatt- ner rotor ship, a ball suspended in space by an air jet, and the action of a pitchers curve ball. Electrostatic phenomena, lightning, the Cottrell smoke reducer and electroscopes were all shown by means of the large Wimshurst static machine. Charley Eulo had great fun freez- ing gold fish in his liquid air exhibit, and than bringing- them back to life again. The fish got a bit woozy after several freezings but managed to last out the evening in good shape. Next to the liquid air demonstration was the ultra short wave reflector, oper- ated by Nader, Ryan and Dahl. They showed the properties of radio waves that enable them to be reflected in a manner: similar to the action of light waves. Farther on were the light exhibits. Kohn and Abrahamson had a very in- terestihg set up of the stroboscope while Ray Dodge had a color action demonstration. The Slipsticls Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. A The prodigal son has returned with “B. 0.," halitosis, and stolen jokes. Perry: “Did you ever hear the joke about the Egyptian guide who showed a group of tourists, two skulls of '1‘utan—Khamen, one when he was a boy and the other when he was a man.” ¢l~‘ 3i: il! Notinchek : (censored). 5|: ‘l‘ 1k Frankenstein: “How will I know if you gel; to the dance first?” Bride of Frankenstein: “If I get there first I’ll mark a cross on the door; if you get there first erase it." 1? 3l‘ :3 Then there was Petri’s girl friend who sat. in so many parked cars on the highway they put her on the road map. (Apologies to Burns.) 51‘ 4 ill Toilcr: “Just one kiss, dearest.” Tillie: “No, dear, we haven't time. My father comes home in an hour." a: e 4: After reading the censored con- tribution, we asked the donor if he was troubled by improper thoughts. The reply: “Naw, I enjoy them.” )1! 311 We were going to print the names of the seniors who were thinking of picking up a ball and chain in June. We have now decided to print the name of the senior who plans to en— joy himself, if we can ever find him. :l! 1k Love Tip If your girl is as good as the day is long, see her after dark 2r =r * Dumbcll Puma l‘hcy were strolling: by the lapping water, He with old Hank Perkins’ daugh- ter. [11 her mind she wondered if she oughtcr Let the matter drop or fix hcr fall~ ing garter. Teacher: “l\l}iow,l ifHI luy five eggs here and three eggs there, how many eggs will I have altogether?" Jimmy: “I don’t believe you can do it.” This may not be the Wake of the News but it is a graveyard of jokes. #1 1k 'rll If gold it: where you put it, where is silver? Hi II: ll: Yours till you catch me, Ozone of the Ozarks. Boll) Joliee, win rematmm Photon fillliillllll William (Continued from page one) enlightened, by difficulty with the curtain, which persisted in coming down. Sigma Alpha Mu offered a bit of nonsense involving a one foot long “thousand horse power” engine which failed to blow up as scheduled. There were vague reports that it finally did blow a half hour after everyone left. Of much interest to the spectators and news cameraman was the next event on the program of Circus Day. The annual pie-eating contest title was at stake, and about twenty-four hopeful juniors and seniors lined up their mouths for the event. The junior marshals provided a case of eight large and luscious blackberry pics for the occasion, and one quar— l'he lWinnerl Tuesday, May l7, l933 s new in pie eating contest which featured class rush day yesterday at Armour Tech. re tor of a pic was placed on the bench before each contestant. With their hands: held firmly behind their backs, each entrant “pitched in" when the signal was given. While cameras were clicking, the pies began to dis- appear like snow in an electric fur- nace, and in one minute, fifty-five seconds flat, R. Jaffee, eminentmau- aging editor: (if the Tech News and junior schmler devoured the pie, and almost the plate. The sight of his face made a picture that would easily make any pie-eating champion jeal~ nus, with blackberries dripping from his nose and ears. When inter- viewed, Jaffee remarked: “I use the push and nudge system." The event closed when two seniors absconded with two remaining pies which had been saved for the cham- pious. FIND ‘AND I THIS IS A RARE EXAMPLE OF AMERlC/JN INDIAN DIDES —A GREAT SEE YOU’VE DISWVERED . A GREAT Toma .TOO/ . , (out AND swam—mm HOW A an; . SWlOKES WHEN you PACK lT Willi mute ' ill BERT. m. can guess use seamen 3W SMOKE 20 FEAQRMJT PIPEFHLS of Prince Albert. If you don’t find it the melluwcst, tastiest pipe to- bacco you ever smoked, return film pocket {in with the rest of the tobacco in it to us at any time within a month from this date, and We will refund full purchase price, plus postage. (Signed) R. J. Reynolds. Tobacco Company, WELL; DOWN OUR WAY WE THINK A LOT OF PRlNCE ALBERT. U SEE; WE LlKE match-Salem, North Carolina Connluht. 1988, R. .3. Rnrnoldu Tohncco Co. l. DEA OUR TOBACCO EXTRA-MILD IS A REAL wag PARDON. .‘ JU ' NS, YHE FAMOUS IPE COLLECTOR? ‘ THEHEJS NOTHlNO tOCAL ABOUT THAT HEREVER l G0, PRINCE ALBERT FAVORlTE. lT CERTAINLY PHYS GENUINE PLEASURE N A FELLOWS PIPE! um. #51? 1.17 'figéfii‘ffifims \‘xs‘s l Q pipefuls of fragrant tobacco in 1" every 2-03. tin of Prince Albert