Page Two ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, April 26, I938 Amour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Federal St. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year l937 Member 1938 [Associated Colleeioie Dress “Entered as second class matter December 8, 1937, at the post olIicc at Chicago, Illinois, under the Act of March 3. 1879." "Warm $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each HEEETORIAL BOARD EDI'IOR [N CH. MAAN GlNG EIEI’IOR NEWS EDI'K‘ srok'rs Iv DI r01: COP T.Olt NA(.ER ADVISE]: EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Curl Rch ’eam- lumos Meyer. I‘moncia Opila Don Dl’rI-lll I‘I'dit r . flow or do dmold . mi . mum: VIN/I Zarem. A Hansen. J. Robson. BT Sternfeld :rs (:1 iiumuixtn Repornr< Crimrus, l‘. Czilunt J Hortm ter. (,7. llicr. E. Kulnin H. Km tz. ll Ma adn del, 84 “Millcvillun J. Niiholsun F. - J. Reidel,“ E. Rosenthnl. S4 Silvermmi, W Wurldlnut rm. H Zimmermi In Asst. Sports Elinor To om Clark Sporte Writers . ll. Nurkufi E. o-rccrsur Sports Reporters , F.1\mlerso . . RIJvIVIom‘y. J Fahry . J. Miriitsnic (‘urtonnixt BUSINESS PEPAR’I‘MENT Advertising Mummei Frank 5min Circulation Munmzer ., . Ralph Emmnn Circulation Manage “0.0m . .R be on Circulatio on Manny,- :.- xchiinges Roger Smith Businm Annie unis .. Ii. 1 Vol. XXI. April 26, 1938 No. 10 On behalf of the faculty and members of the tmlent body we extend our deepest sympathy to Oliver Dickcrhoof, mechanical student, whose father died last week. improve Your Dancing—~— Many class dances have been run in our best hotels and country clubs, excellent orchestras have played, everything was fine but the dances have usually lacked the support of the students. it wasn't the price of the bid that was important, but usually the old familiar saying, "I don't dance." With the thought of remedying this situation a few seniors made arrangements for a dance class. Daniel Stone, a sophomore cooperative student, agreed to act as class instructor. Stone is a pm» fessional dancer. being connected with a north side dancing school. So far two meetings of the class were held, during which time over one hundred students were in attendance. The room was so crowded that the gym will probably be used tor this week's lesson. lf enough interest is shown in these weekly lessons, the instruction will probably continue. It is hoped that through this class more support will be given to the class dances. They require much work and time for the social committees and are often expensive to the class treasuries when not properly supported. Many schools offer dancing as a substitute credit for physical education, but such is not possible here at Armour. The classes. no doubt, will continue as long as the students show interest. Many in the class are beginners and many intend to improve > their dancing by learning the fundamentals and gradually leading into the newer steps. Take ad— vantage of the opportunity! Whose Newspaper? Mind you now, we're not complaining. This is merely an exposition of our exasperation over a situation that has exasperated us on the Tech News for a long time. To put it bluntly, we've been dis— appointed in a game with the student body, with the publicity office, with the faculty and with the administration Their attitude in this game is something like this: “l know some news, but won 't tell until its printed in the daily papers." Well, that‘s all very fine, lots of fun too, but it happens that we on the staff are also students of engineering, and haven't the time to go chasing around looking for news that breaks unexpectedly. Some months ago Dr. Hotchkiss resigned his po— sition as president of our schooln—«very “hot" news. You can imagine how mortifying it was to us when we read aboutr it in the metropolitan dailies coming out on our day of publication. We were “scooped." The school promptly notified the dailies, completely ignoring us—after all, no one reads the Tech News but Armour students. Many, many choice stories have slipped by us in such a manner. There are many small but interesting personal stories about the students themselves that never find their way into print. Our staff is limited and naturally can't know of the majority of these. it may be due to modesty, or bashfulness, or most likely, indifference, but the students themselves never take the trouble to inform us of these things. lt may be that we are crying ”sour grapes." Per- haps we are. Much of the fault probably lies in a lack of alertness on our part. The fact remains, never-the-less, that this paper belongs to Armour —to its students and to its faculty. The news it prints is the news that the staff thinks is patrons will find most interesting and edifying, lts purpose is to be of most service to Armour and to represent Armour in the form of a publication with true newspaper policies. To be “scooped" is a reflec- tion upon the caliber of Armour as well as those upon its staff. The responsibility of putting out a newspaper that tells the most about Armour, and Armour people, and Armour doings lies with the student body. the faculty, and the administration as well as with the staff. if they have any news that the rest of the school should know or would like to know, why don't they use this “common ground" as a means of doing it. Well that's off our chests. What a relief! OTHER CAMPUSES The Slipsticlc Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. Well, are you already to hold you/r sides? Good, then here goes. Two fraternity man couldn’t make up their minds as how to spend the evening. One wanted to go to a dance and the other wanted to go to the movies; but still they knew that they had a long homework assign— ment. “Here’s what we’ll do," said one, “we‘ll toss up a coin. If it. lands heads, We'll go to the dance; if it’s tails we’ll go to the movies, and if it stands on edge, we’ll study. it =l«' >lI Now it’s about the right; time for a little pome: Hmnpty Dummy set on the well, H'wmply Dumpty had a great fall; All the king’s horses Ami (ill the king’s men I-Inid uggmg. III 1% lie was sitting at the bar downing one after another and laughing loud- ly. Every so often, as he “ A to himself, he would hold up his hand in protest. Finally the bartenders curiosity got the best of him. “What are you doing?" he asked. “I'm telling myshelf jokesh,” was the reply. “But why the hand in the air?” “Oh, that’s to stop me if I’ve heard i .” t ‘4: 716 3‘ First boarder: “Goo, thew biscuits: are but . Second boarder: “Well, didn't you hom- tho cook say, take your pick." it! 21‘ It: “Say, is your boy Jim going back to college?" “Yes,” replied Farmer Corntossel. “It will cost somethin‘ to send him but, it'll be worth a good deal to keep him from intci'fcrin’ with practical work around the place." it ll‘ Flt MUSIC PROF: “What do you think of Kreislc'r'l” FROS'I-I: “Great! Splendid! Swell pickup, or lot of yep, and twenty miles to the gallon." Il< >l1 UN ANIMOUS PRISON WARDEN: “I’ve had charge 01' this prison for ten years. We’re going to celebrate. Whiit kind of a party would you boys suggest?" PRISONERS: “Open house." Xi KI ll! MOVIE ACTRESS: “I'll endorse your cigarettes for no lose than $50,000." ADVERTISER: “I’II we you in- hale first." I’roll’. Dohrenwend Talks on Stress Analysis Dyer WCFL Clayton 0. Dohrenwend, of the Civil Engineering Department, talked over station WCFL last Saturday night on “Photoelastic Study of Structural Models.” Mr. Dohrenwend told how the stresses in a given structure are am- alyzcd through the use of small transparent models whose small scale eliminates the coat factor of large models. The two types of models used are for demonstration or research. Photoelastic models are made of transparent substances like celluloid, bakelite, and phonolitc. The analysis is based on the fact discovered by Sir David Brewster in 1860 that these substances, when under stress, be- come double tel’mcting'. The next talk, which will be given next. Saturday at the usual time, 6:15, will be on “Theory Behind Traffic Lighting.” Hollyyyood : HOLLYWOOD. — The sky’s the limit for a flock of films coming up. And that is to be taken literally. Producers have rediscovered the student of cinematic trends knows these things go in cycles. Witness the cycles of Crime Doesn’t Pay moi» ulity plays, historical dramas, bio~ graphical subjects, polite drawing room comedies, etc. Such is the power of imitation that when one studio makes an outstanding success of a certain type of picture the oth« are are sure to follow. Most recent was the madcap ne- riois. It started with “My Man Goth tray" and continued through over modifier immgininua until the prob- oble height of amusing absurdity was reached by Katherine Hopburn and Cary Grant in "Bringing Up Baby." GRINDSTONE l—Iow grateful many people would be if they could get their relatives to work for them the way Bob Burns’ Arkansas: kinfolk produce for him. Bob estimates he has them do and say about half a hundred lough~pro- voicing things every week. He count- ed up between scenes on “Tropic Holiday." “Ac near ass I mm make out," he said, “it taken anyways 50 jokes a week to keep me supplied for my picture, radio and ncwripapcir jobs. That means Uncle Slug, Aunt Boo, Grandpa Snazy and the rest have to be funny practicmlly all the time. “Ain't it a caution how I keep their noses to [ho grindatonc’l” great outrof-doore as a theme. Every .— Ste‘am Shovel . mm Don’t get in the way of Instructor BILL BARNES when he’s heading for the bookstore. Could it be that he’s looking for some scientific data or that daily airmail letter from that certain someone way back in Texas. was MARVIN $KOLLER, a junior, had a do some last thinking last week when the Iroahmen tried to borrow his pants. In fact, they had them half way off. our”: DAN (I DID IT) JACOBSON’S ability to pull strings didn’t help him last Friday when he pulled a few circuit breakers in the juice lab and put us all in the dark. Remember, Jake, it’s dangerous to fool around. lilo-«op Notes Now that the column his dispersed with the business at hand, a lighter channel of thought will be followed. It seems that the entire class is being scourigcd by a flood of not-to- thoroughly-munipulated slide rules . . You just “ain’t” if you don’t possess a “mystic~stick” . Even a two-bit one entitles you to enter the circle of Whos-whatzis . . . When tired eyes are falling just drop a malted milk tablet in your bazoo, and one in your neighbor‘s fly—trap and etc. etc. Anyway, that’s the remedy that Stone thought out . . . He appeared on the “blotting-front" with a bottle of malted milk tablets, thinking that they might form an inner support to tired eye~lids . . . “A l w a y s-thlnlringr~of~501ntithing—to- erit” Jordan had his mind on his night work the other day in physics class . . . A word to the wise, Mr. Wit, the next time that you make a. slip like that, Dr. Sprague will probably hit you with everything but his slip-stick . . . Time for a. short. one boys? . . . It's fun as long as the stakes don’t get too high . Well, ’til this time next week, be good, and if you can’t be good, be . . To the freshman—~Don’t cry over lost pants; thank your lucky stars that your shorts were not lost. Luck an’ stuff fellows—So Long. C. A. S. Newark University officials this month opened a drive for an endow- ment of $1,000,() )0 to meet pressing financial needs. 0_._ The University of Minnesota, (me of the largest U. S. state universities, lost your spent $10,000,000. _.._4,.___ Students of the 'l‘e' ‘hers College of Connecticut are preparing to film a movie of life on their campus. —0 St. Mary’s College in Caliiornia has three official names, but all be- gin with name by which it is known from coosl-to-coast. rfi-—o Both houses of the Massachusetts legislature have passed :1 bill to kill the teuchcrs‘ oath law. __c__0,_._ A new (’itl'l'lt‘lllllll’l. and (caching material, laboratory has been extol)- Iixlicrl ul Syracuse University. *0— Fecs for outmflstatc students at Louisiana State University are now on a reciprocal basis, being the some as charged Louisiana students to at- tend the state university from which a student comes. —————o— Michigan educational authorities are considering establishing graduate divisions for the state‘s teachers col- lageu. flap“. Louisiana State University jour— nalism students have completed the histories of 18 newspapers in that state. -._0,_ Temp,” University has established a ricw school of nursing with a five year coursc. By J, lilulyson The University of Del-aware is now offering a year of study in Switzer- land to enable students to study the League of Nations at first hand. students time A shop in which may spend their leisure pursuing their hobbies has been opened at Massachusetts immune of Technol- ogy. _._...(,_..... Ayyrmrimalcly 122 teams from 20 slates are entering the dz’butc tour- ucy spans red by St. Paul’s College Of SI. Thomas (ma! College of St. (‘rilhc'm'iie 7——o—-——— Out of 590 colleges and universiu tics of the U. S. and Canada, 268 offer either radio courses or extra— curricular instruction. .__._0._* Wits. Zoe Seeves, Drake University English professor, has bad in her classes nine famous writers and 15 members of the present Drake fac- uIty. fluo— Columbia University students have asked Pres. Nicholas M. Butler to apologize for not allowing Robe‘rt Burke to speak at a student club meeting. D Chicago, Ills~lACPl ~Research by Prof. Ellsworth Huntington, research associate in geography at Yale Uni— versity, made known at the Univeiu sity of Chicago, convinced him chil- dren born in March or late February in the U. S. have the best chance of achieving intellectual distinction. #u-o His data indicated persons born in March in the United States, and in countries of similar temperature, live 3.8 years longer than those born Well, Juniors with a. problem due. today is Tuesday, also for Today staggers on! March of Arx, which reminds me, Saucrman had some pictures taken of himself the other day. They’re just like those that the prisons take of inmates, the only thing that the warden will have to do is to print his number under- neath. Darn considerate of Sauer- Puss. It seems as though the seniors thought they took the ELS. Com— petition, some disagree, with the thought that the E.I.S. took them. However, Klipharclt received a men- tion in New York on it; Cunningham, Becker, and Iwasa. received half- mentions; and Litwin gets his name in the Bulletin. Big news: Junior “MIKE" MIKO- LA C'ZYK won second prize of $100.00 in the lamp competition. We under- stand that he’s going to throw a party for his class. Good stufi. BURNHAM wa/nls to deny the rumor that he's going to marry the SEAvHAG. The sophs have got a mouldy new problem according to same. They were throwing plaster around in the modeling roam last weak, occasioml~ ly the stufi landed in the mould. “How about youse guys going to the All-School Dance, April 29, at the Swedish Club,” inquiries Litwin. Get your bids from him. Every4 body‘s going, why even the Sea—Hing might be there! Oh yea, Prather got a Fi xst Men~ tion in the soph freehand judgment last week. BOZ—ART. BUT MY NEXT PlPEr‘Pp UST BE WIGHTH fl lM SORR‘I TO MAKE YOU Dll’A DEG SOUT YOUR WHOLE STOCKO IVES HAD 3 PIPES OFAP— AND NONE (EETTH EM SEEEMgD TD lLl. TAKE THIS CONE HELLO DON. momce wu’né PUSSY ABCUI' SELECTING A PIPE, BUT" HOW ABOUT YOUR TOBACCO? GIVE ME PRINCE ALBERT FOR wily KIND OF PIPE. COOLWAND, 5AM l5 iT hillbilly rostrum AND toenail Am“ SMOKE 20 I’I‘M‘ARMNT PIPEFUIS of Prince Albert. If you don’ t find It ( owost, tastiest pipe to. lmcco you ever smoked, return lhe pocket {in with the rest of the tobacco in it In us at any time within a month from this date, and we will refund Iu purchase price, plus postage (Signed) R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, Winston-Salem. North Carolina lT PACKS RIGHT, SMOKES ‘ Coayrixhz. lass. R. J. Mynoldn Tobacco Co. PRINCE ALBERT lES XTQA- , MILD, 'IOO ‘ THGOOD RICHTASTE.’ pipeEulc of fragrant tobacco m ovary Z-oz. tin of Prince Aibcrt i i i l l i i l l