Page Two Campaign for Student Union Begins The lid is ofl’. Now student leaders are begin— ning a campaign to interest fellow students in the needed Student Union. It is planned to con- vert Mission Hall into a Student Union building with all those dreamed of lounges. It would be a pleasure to have some place to bring friends and visiting teams to sit down and be sociable without reaction with a hard class- room chair and without facing a blackboard. Seniors can imagine themselves returning some time in the future to an alumni banquet held in an enlarged dining hall on the ground floor of the Student Union building and gathering for a good time afterwards in the lounges upstairs or perhaps seeing movies of old times in the remod- elled assembly hall. All students must necessarily get behind the move, talk it up, and support it themselves. It remains for the student body to begin the cam- paign and accomplish something definite. Then the alumni and the Board of Trustees will co- operate whole heartedly. On the front page of this issue is an article which describes the aims of the movement in part. On page four appears a ballot which every student should fill out and drop in the N ews box near the drinking fountain on the first floor of Main. Student enthusiasm will be judged by the ballots returned. Cut out your ballot now and drop it in the News box. We’re all depending on you. Saturday Night Preferable for Dances For years Armour dances have been held on Friday nights, but upon looking over facts and circumstances, it becomes evident that Saturday evenings would be preferable for these social affairs. In the past it has been maintained that ball- room rental fees are higher on Saturday nights. However, a recent investigation has proven that rental fees are identical for both Friday and Sat— urday evenings. Many students have Saturday classes, and many feminine companions of Techawks are em— ployed on Saturdays. As a result, some of these individuals do not go to Friday night dances. If I ARMOUR TECH NEWS Keep Armistice Day on November 1 1 When the largest war of all time was over, there was great rejoicing, not because one side won, but because loved ones were no longer in constant danger and people felt that the Dove of Peace had outdistanced Mark-permanently, for was this not the “war to end all wars"? Celebration of this day continues and periodi— cally reminds us that unless we feed our Ameri- can Dove with substantial food it may be again overtaken by the Carnivore. That the race is by no means won may be seen by glancing to what used to be the Far East, but what is becoming If a world power should win an aggressive war, militaristic think~ ing in that nation might become unbalanced in relation to pacifist thinking. and America might the Nearer and Nearer West. again become involved in a war Nothing but unceasing effort at sociological and political improvement along with military preparedness will ever succeed in keeping Armis— .. ,. tice Day on November 11. ETA KAPPA NU To bring about closer cooperation among, and 1 benefit to. students and others in the pro- fession of electrical engineering, who by their at- mutua tainments in college or in practice manifest excep— tional interest and marked ability in this field, this honorary fraternity was founded at the University I Delta chapter of Armour was chartered in of Illinois. Urbana, in I904. I909. tivities. undergraduate. graduate. associate. and honorary. Electrical engineers in the field may be elected to either of the last two qualifications by virtue oi their meritorious work. The twenty—eight active chapters and the eleven alumni chapters are cooperating with the industry's professional society, the AIEE, to bring about an increased interest in the field. An example of this is the annual awards mode by Eta Kappa Nu to the most outstanding electrical engineers not more than ten years out of An active interest is also taken by the as- sociation in electrical engineering curricula. and ”The Bridge." a bi—monthly publication of the as— sociation. has become a forum for articles on this college. subject. Its members are selected from the junior and senior electrical classes on the basis of their service. scholarship, and cooperative ac- There are four grades of membership: 5° . . The Slapstick Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. Most columns of this type usually begin with a poem. That’s a very good way to open a column. I'd do it too but I have no poem. It was my fondesll wish to write an ode about an engineering report. After writing four swell stanzas and three bung-up lines in the last one I couldn’t get a word to rhyme with “bounce.” So we'll let it go for some other time- imd start in with the jokes. e >x< a: BUTLER: There’s a lady pedler at the door, sir. ME: Okay, tell him to come in and bring his samples with him. Swiped. alt 3k Drunk (phoning to wife): “’l‘hash you dear? Tell the maid‘ I won't be home tonight.” Thirty-eight more days. llill Christu mas: recess. ll! 3!: at “You look sweet enuf to eat.” He whispered soft and law, “I do,” the fair answered, “Where do you wont to yo?" FOLLIES OF 1910. ’I‘ ll‘ )1! Pop: How is it. young man, that find you hugging and kissing my daughter? How is it. I ask you? YOU: Oh, it’s great, it’s meat! 1% fix ’I( lEejny. the movie hound, is having his teeth X-raycd. He wants to see a preview of the coming extractions. )l‘ 3k A backwoods mountaineer found a mirror which a tourist had lost. ”Wt-ll, if it ain’t my old dad,” he said, as he looked in the mirror. “I never knowcd ho had his pitcher took." He took it home. That night while he slept, his wife found the mirror. “Hum-um," she said, looking into it, “so that’s the old hag he’s been chasin'." >3! 3! 1|1 Two followz; who have hot lips are a utar trumpet player and a 3colch- mun finding a cigar. Add to collegial: dzfinitions: Professor-«A hired bit of camou- flage placed around an athletic club to give it the appearance of a uni- vcrsity. Bachelor—A fellow who never on the ensuing day prevent them from enjoying the evening to its utmost. they do go out Friday evenings, thoughts of work ‘ makes the same mistake once. Tuesday, November 9, I937 Dear Sally, Well, Sally old gal, old thing, hear it is the 6th, or 7th week of skool, and I am just that. Yes sir, I mean yes mam skool is reely tough—like your maws pie crust? This yearc I am wressling with a thing called Calculus. No, it is not Grcak, it is a study of upper, or maybe it is hier mathematiks. Then their is mechan— ismm, sometimes called kidetatics, or something. This hear subjekt is reelly hard. News of a tesst in it leeves us in a cold mist. Evry time the prof. (I think it stands for profit) enters the clussc, a shuuder runs around the mine and then slows down to a walk. No soonner (lo I step out of the fire, than I am in the frying pan. for allong coms chemestrce. You shure learn a lot in this course. Did you ever no that that stuff your grandpuppy brews has carbon and hydorjen and oxigen in it. practikal~ 1y :1 mixture of soot and water? l'd hate to bee a bridge. Did you no that the bridge over Unc. Foocy’s kreak has strcss’ss and strains and comprcsions and tonshions and every-v Win-”mum E flow-tho mode l Sampson seems to think that the only cure for insomia is the Chem Lecture class. The professor, in Sampson's defense, says it’s 0. K. to sleep in class just so long as you don’t fall out of your chair and wake up the rest of the nodders. Don’t forget co—op basketball prac. tice every Friday morning at 9:30. Hold about a. few of you fellows showing up for a. alumna? ’1‘ '4‘ ix After an extensive poll of three students we have the following re- forms to suggest to our employers to make this a better world to wirk in: 1. Permit sunbaths during work hours. 2. Place bridge tables in all de‘ partments. 3. Organize inter—department polo teams. 4 Take out time clocks; replace with free gum machines. 5. Put a hamburger sandwich and a sweepstakes ticket in every pay envelope. We guarantee the bankruptcy of Fraternity Notes I Again, other students work in night school on Friday evenings and still others are occupied in student activities. For these, it is impossible to attend the Friday night dances. A large group of night school students would attend dances, but have been unable to do so because of the dancers! being held on Friday evenings. Definitely. Saturday night dances would have a larger attendance resulting in larger cash re— turns. It is hoped that the various social com— mittees will weigh these facts carefully and schedule future dances on Saturday nights. Vol. XX. November 9, I937 Armour 'l‘ecli News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year ‘1 No. 8‘ IQ‘So Member [03 7 1 hssocloled Colleeiiole Press «We 25" $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD Co»Editors-in-Chief .............. . ................. ............... Landrith B. Parker, James D. Sheehan Sports Editor . ................... Raymond A. Braun News Editor ...................... William J. Chelgren Copy Editor ..................... Albert N. Schrieber Business Manager ....................... Idris Thomas Faculty Adviser .................... Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Desk Editor R. F. Beardsley aka-up d .R. Kotal Assistant Spor C Nauman Assignment Editors 1. JaEee Feature Editor J. Pleva Columnists ..l. H . Zare Ass stunt News [J I. Yeakle N we Reporters. R B rtusek G. Frost ohnson, J. D. Ken N. L. Levine, J. A Meyer. R. Perry. S. S. Silvermun. Cub Hanoi-tars . , .. . . .. .Carlson. Cipowski. Colant. L. Dolhun, German. D. Graf, . Hansen, Hartman, Kzilnin, , Lauhe. D Lony B. Mandi-l, V. Mason. E. l’aulaitis. F. Keh. Reirlel. S rnedu ...T. Clark. H. Coyle. L. Norkus. . ., . .. . .....F Anderson. F. De Money J. Good. V. Manon. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT """ w. sperm: Slavm. J Kati/0, E. W Reporters . b Shapiro, H Advertising Manager Advertising Asuiumnts'l‘. Stc Irculatiun nnuer ,. , Circulation Assistants ., R. c K. SI ....R B. Burmxm R. A. Winbiod.1...... .M Waldman 1i. ‘Eriaman. gladly contribute. “Huge successes" are being claimed by the fraternities When for their l—lallowe’en parties and dances which were given a week ago last Saturday. The Pi Kappa Phi party in- cluded a novel arrangement whereby a dressing committee made sure that everyone was in costume for the party. The Phi Pi’s and Delts say that their dances were among the best ever given at the houses. Teas Phi Kappa Sigma and Phi Pi Phi report that Mothers’ Club teas were held at their houses last Sunday afternoon. These teas brought together mothers of the new pledges and the mothers of the members. The Pi Kappa Phi Mothers’ Club announces a card party to he held Novemwl her 20th at the house. The mothers have guaranteed ex- cellent refreshments and a large number of prizes. This week the members of Theta Xi are going to attend the weekly luncheon of the alumni in The Fair building. Travelers Two automobile loads of Armour Phi Kaps are going to drop in on their Minnesota brothers next Friday for the week-end. The boys hope that the surprise will be a pleasant one for their hosts-to-be. The Northwestern- Minnesota football game will be one of the events taken in. Last Saturday Rho Delta Rho held a pledge dance at Thame Hall. Russ Morgan’s orchestra supplied the rhythm. and unique programs in the form of a slide rule were used. Touch Ball Interfraternity touchball semi-finals will be out of the way this week and the winner of the game between the winners of the Delta Tau Delta——Phi Pi Phi and the Rho Delta Rho——Sigma Alpha Mu games will get the mythical cup. House ping pong tournics are due to get under way in preparation for the annual inter-fraternity tournament. Some of the houses will have pool tournaments also, for the members who like the more solid sound of ivory to ivory. turnstiles WW In view of the treatment of our cfiorts at composing the “Fraternity Notes" and the rehash'ing that has been alarm to them, we d‘on‘t feel it wort/1, our time to bother with them. When the notes are back as of last year we will Douglas MacDonald. Bigamict—A man who is broadmindod about marriage. .. . If there are words that rhyme. I don’t know-em and that’s ZAZU. Nanv firm that places this plan into effect. Stop me if you’ve heard—- Look twice at the girl who seems exotic very ever I try to write a poem, On second glance she’s just neu- rotic, Homesick Hillbillywrites offihool life to Deer Sally finch in the Mountains thing? Gosh, that bridge must be tired. We lernt that in a mekanics class 0 boy, hot stuff eh? Gee, people hear are funny. other follows in our skool—some of them anyhow where grean caps and NO pants. Can you cmajinc that. And down home all we wear are beards and carry a jug of g‘x‘andpappy’s. good home brew. It seams that profs. have :1 cents, of humor too. One was teaching; a hi skool geometry class (angles. on this and that, the same old lines). Anywow, he said that a rite angled triangle is one with a hypotcnoose opposite a right angle, and with two- lcg‘s. Just then a cute little thing in the buk of the rume gigglled out loud, like puppy’s pigs. He kame rite out and said quote Haven‘t you two legs too? Unquote, however he did not ask her if she had a hypot- enoose also. Hallo, it shure put the class in konvulshions. Well, Sally, be good until I rite again. Evorytime I see the milk- mun‘s horse, I think of you, Yures forever, Stoopbrain Bliss. The Great R1 1. ' at J Have you ever seen a great rhom~ bicosidodceahedron? It his 62 faces and 120 vortices. The small rhom- bicosidodocahedron also has 62 faces but it only has 60 vertices. Just to show that not everything is in a name, the snub dodecahcdron beats these two by having 92 faces, but it only has 60 vertices. By this time you have guessed, that these are polyhedrons. There are 13 of them belonging to the family of inscript- uble Archimedian polyhedrons, and all thirteen can be seen on the first floor of the Planetarium in an ex- hibit prepared by the Evanston High School and the Tilden Technical High School. This exhibit is sponsored by the Women's Mathematics Club and the Men’s Mathematics Club of Chicago. It is intended to show how practical- ly everything in life is influenced by mathematics. There are so many items in this exhibit of particular in- terest to engineering students, that a trip to the Planetarium to see them is well worth while. W. C. Krathwohl. z: ..... .fi __ ._ “The students who rank highest in scholarship are also the students who take an active part in extra-curricu— lar activity.” Dean G. Herbert Smith of De Paul University hasten- ed to add that “bookworms” rarely make the highest grades. IL. Miran OH,DADD‘/, ism’r rr YESCHUBBINS, “9 THRILLING OU‘I’HERE IT’S AN IDEAL ' ' UNDER 1' THAT’S RI usr AM ”i OH,‘/OU MEN! YOU'D THINK "ME out easements W V T APPRECIATE WHAT PRINCE ALBERTS bio-BITE FROG ESSOAND CRIMF’ CUT DO "TO MAKE IT'S GREAT TO WATCH HOW PRINCE ALBERT WINS NEW FRIENDS. FIRST, FEIJDWS SMELL THAT EA. runes/snares THEY FIND HOW GRAND THE RA.CIZIMP CUT MW AND walelm-MTHEN WATCH ‘EM GO FOR PRINCE ALBERTS ddllfidlbbifi AND Wfii’d WWW? Smoke 20 fragrant pipefuls of Prince Albert. If you don’t find it the mallowest, tastiest pipe tobacco you ever smoked, return the pocket tin with the rest of the tobacco in it W to us at any eime within a month from this date. and we will refund full purchase price, plus postage. (Signed) R. J. Reynolds ... Tobacco Company, Winston-Salem, N. C. 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