Page Two Pl TAU SIGMA Pi Tau Sigma is a national honorary fraternity which was founded jointly by mechanical engineer—- ing students of the Universities of Illinois and Wis— consin. The fraternity was founded, "In order to establish a closer bond of fellowship which will re— sult in mutual benefit to those men in the study and in the profession of Mechanical Engineering, who, by their academic or practical achievements, mani- fest a real interest and marked ability in their chosen work." The object of the fraternity is to foster the high ideals of the engineering profes- sion, to stimulate interest in coordinate de— partmental activities. and to promote the mutual professional welfare of its mem- bers. Members are selected at two election; during the academic year. At the fall election 50% of the senior mechanical class is eligible and 25 % of the junior class is eligible. At the spring election no seniors may be elected and 33% of the junior mechanical class is eligible. Scholarship, of course, is not the only basis of selection. Character. personal- ity. and activities are also major con- siderations. The colors of the fraternity are azure and murrcy and are emblazed on the pledge button. The button has the shape of the Carnot Cycle which is em- blematic of the highest possible efficiency. The fraternity key also has this emblem upon it. An annual convention of the fraternity, as well as a yearly publication called the "Condenser," serve to bind the fraternity together firmly. Vol. XX. January 11, 1938 No. 13 Armour Tech. News Student Publication of the ARMOUR lNSTlTUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Federal St. CHICAGO. ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year I936 Member '037 hssocioled Cofleoiole Dress “Entry as second class matter applied for at the post office at Chicago, Illinois, under the act of March 3, 1879." w?“ $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD CotEditors—inflhief ................................ . Landrith B. Parker, James D. Sherman ................ Raymond A. Braun ........ William J. Cbelgren .Albert N. Schrieber . . . Idris Thomas Walter Hendricks Sports Editor News Editor . Copy Editor . . . . Business Manager . . . . . . Faculty Adviser .................... EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Desk Editor . Make-up Editor Assistant Sports Editor ' E imru . C. Johnson. W J. Kalnin. . C. Limbo. N. A. Levine, Meyer. N. Natinchek. I“. A. Opiln. E. Puuluitis. It. E. Perry. F. Rein. J. Reidel, S S. Silvermun, P. eidcl. Sc roe 62 Sport Write M. Sandusky. T. Clark, H. Coylc. L. Norkur, J. Rattn. Sports cporter . .F‘. Andersun, F. De Money . hauiro. H. Fisher. .1. d. V. Mason. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ..... R. E. Bun-mm Advertising Assistants T. Stowe“. W. Speth. Winblml ...... . l Circulation hunger . . .M. Wuldman Circulation Assistants . Ar Bobbi". R. R. hn, R. K. Sml . . Erisman. \ l Fraternity Notes TREANGLE Brother Richert, national chapter inspector, paid us a welcome visit just before the holidays. He visited the school and talked with the professors concerning our standings. . . . The New Year’s Eve party was quite a success if that is to be measured by noise produced. On the day before the party, when no one was around, Brothers Hock and Macdonald, motivated no doubt by some impish impulse, strewed mistletoe about the house with a free and lavish hand. The erring brothers reaped the full reward of their foul deed. Otherwise all was quiet and peaceful. . . Pl KAPPA PHI NOTES Our Christmas Dance was very successful and was a fitting climax to our 1937 season. We held a smoker Wednesday the 28th which was well attended by the town men. The Pi Kappa Phi Eleventh District Conclave will be held here at Alpha Phi Chapter this February, probably the week—end of the 16th. A tentative program has been set up, and the Committee on Arrangements has prom- ised many excellent speakers and a well planned enter- tainment program. DELTA TAU DELTA We are pleased to announce the pledging of Delano Wessels, ’41 Although election of officers comes ()1? next. month, Paul Ransel has been elected treasurer for the coming year. The new ping-pong table purchased by the house is now competing with those increasingly numerous reports for a few minutes of time now and then. A mothers’ club card party just before the vacation and ARMOUR TECH NEWS l ill-lb hldlhhflll or January 6, 1937. Armour Tech News Dear sirs: In response to the inquiry by the Tech News regarding what the fraternities wanted with respect to fraternity news, the Interfmternity Council wishes to submit the following suggestions. The fraternities desire that the present style column of fraternity news be discontinued in favor of the previous plan by which each house bud its own news regularly published in separate articles. To facilitate this, and to insure the readability of such news, it is further suggested that the Tech News appoint a fra~ ternity editor or reporter to be responsible for the gather- ing and organizing of the material. Fraternities at Armour have several hundred students in their membership, and play a very important part in extracurricular activities. It is no more than fair that they should receive a reasonable amount of attention by the Tech News. A student paper should gather and pub lish student news, but the Tech. News does not gather fra- ternity news and has repeatedly ignored publishing such information as has been submitted by the fraternities themselves. The Interfratcmity Council will give its full- est cooperation to the paper in this matter, and will up- preciate the early return of “Fraternity Notes” as a regu- lar feature under the control of a fraternity editor. Very sincerely yours, Al N. Schrieber, Secretary lntarfralernify Council. "To be or not to be’ Fraternity Notes Fraternity men apparently believe the Tech News to be anti-Greek. To leave the letter on this page without comment would be an injustice to the staff. It is true that for a number of years each fraternity had its notes under separate heads. The only reason for changing the form of presentation last year was to correlate fraternity events and to make the notes more readable and interesting to the entire student body, . The Tech News does not cater to any campus organization or group. It is true that reporters are not assigned to gather fraternity notes. How- ever it is our understanding that each fraternity has a scribe whose work is to supply the paper with information. Fraternity notes have not been “ignored.” The notes have in a few cases been prepared and ready for publication but have not been used be— cause of a surplus of more readable material from our viewpoint. Notes as received from the fraternities are often written carelessly on scratch paper. The fraternity notes are rewritten so often that it seems ridiculous to hear complaints of a change in typographical form. If each fraternity wants its name in bold letters alone on a line, we will be glad to print it at our regular advertising rates. In this issue the notes are written in the form desired by the fraternities. Incidentally five of these seven were written by staff members after our deadline at 5 p.m. last Friday night. Fraternity notes will continue as a feature at the discretion of the staff. A fraternity editor will be appointed. but the Tech News has no in tention of disrupting its editorial policies for any individual group. a bang-up New Year’s Eve party were the latest social events at The Shelter. SlGMA ALPHA MU Following the close of school for the Christmas holi- i days fi'a Al Schricbcr and fra Irv Schifke spent a week end at our University of Illinois chapter. Their appear- ance upon returning to Chicago indicated an exhausting spree which they attribute to a skating party, formal dinner dance, a. banquet, and a tour of the school all packed into two full days. Fra Schlifke also attended our national convention at Cleveland, Ohio, over the holidays. The house celebrated the end of 1937 with a theater party to see “Brother Rat." PHI Pl l’Hl We wish to congratulate Phi Kappa Sigma on its vic- tory over our team in the interfraternity basketball tour. nament. The mothers’ club held a monthly meeting last Thurs- day at the house. They plan to have their next meeting at the Stevens Hotel. RHO DELTA RHO We have just finished the decoration of our new rooms in Chapin Hall. A house warming stag will be held be- tween semesters; besides the actives and pledges, the ma- jority of the alumni chapter will be in attendance. Our tobogganing party scheduled for the Christmas holidays was postponed due to the lack of snow. It may be held between semesters in the event of a snowfall. Pl-ll KAPPA SEC-MA Members of the house are elated at taking Phi Pi Phi in a recent inter—fraternity basket. ball game. It is the first time in twenty years that the Phi Pi’s have been defeated, and we all consider it a privilege to have had this pleasure. Thanks for the keen competition, and the splendid display of sportsmanship. rile Slipstick l Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. i Two more issues and than . . . Ee- jm/ and Zuzu write no more! No more will you. laugh at their good, clean, funny jokes, smrkl‘i‘ng humor, hm‘lc to their companions wisdom, clip and paste this column each Tuesday night into your diary. No! Time takes its toll and so Eejoy and‘ Zuzu must leave to join the romlcs of their predecessors, to live only in the dank, dusty files, symbolic of the days gone (lg—soon lo mould and crumble and then sold by come future circulation manager to a, junk man fm~ two-bits per Inm- olrcol pounds. Aml‘ to Eejcry and Zazu this memorimn: R. I. P. Arum. bk ’lt 9r And now, of all times, comes an offer from some H. A. W. guy to sup- ply us with three jokes per week per annum perhaps. Dcm‘ H. A. W.: We love you. You’re as welcome as a pledge-captain’s broken neck, as . . . mom] You're welcome! Rise and shine! en a: s: No. I “Did you hear about the girl who went riding and only got one ahoe muddy?" “No, let's hear it.” "Well, she reconsidered." it 2 5i W No. “Com I ?” “No!” "Well, I will anyhow.” “At. least I've done my duty.” it IF :{1 No. 3 Optimiot—A ninety your old mom (my-lug LL two-punts suit. ’K' ‘b ll: Eat; Munch—Crunch for lunch, it’s good for you. r i)! 2r- Suunds in the Night "Okay, kids, move along!" “Please shut up so Uncle Jerry can sleep.” “Now I know what the prof meant when he said I was dumb." “Mama, Po’s core.” "(1'0le l” ll: #1 IF Free Testimonials Eoloy—"l keep mentally alert by eating; Munch-Crunch. And it grown hair tool" Zoom—“My scholastic standing, my sense of humor, all I am I owe Munch-Crunch." it: ill Munch-Crunch for lunch. Eejay and Zulu. The belated Christmas present. that the seniors received on the Emerson Prize was not; all lemons and grape- fruit. Litwin got a Mention and Da- vidson and Cunningham received Half Mentions. This is the first time in three years that the department has rated on the Emerson. These same marvelous seniors went out to Skubics’ summer home for the day, catching up on their ice-skating. The exuberant SONJA BAKER gave an exhibition, but had only one pair of skates and they were on his feet, so he had a hard time doing some or his. tricks. MISS PARKHURST is on expert mthewthic’lzm . . . MR. HARPER was once lost in a fog while flying amd finally landed in safe?” with but one quart of gasoline left in the tank. Horton, although he is a sophomore, still wears his gloves baby-fashion— With the string through the sleeves like you once wore. Skating- reminds me that MR. MELL is being put on ice very soon by a fair lady that he met this sum- mer. He says that the wedding can’t come off until he has the sophomore problem finished. This last bit may make you thirsty. The mild Lumber Tycoon of River Forest Went out New Year’s Eve and somehow or other just couldn’t find his way home for the longest time. This is where I’ll try to find my way home. ART GUM. that evening as a sop to his feebly '(Facts: “Here I am in Joe’s place, 'enthetical insertion somewhat deviat- Tuesday. january ll, 1933 Cold Blooded, lronicul Professors Prove impervious to Pathetic Pious By Robert Parry ~ The process of submitting to a. quiz is not precisely pleasant and apparently a professor after long, years of delivering quizzes becomes completely impervious to the an“ guished cries following the an- nouncement of catch quiz. No pro- fessox' has ever been known to wav- er from his fixed course succeeding anguished howls of, “Whatl A quiz Thursday Profl'y‘! We got three other quizzes and a heavy mumblety peg tournament up on that day." The professor, with the icy sneer to which all instructors full heir to, merely shrug-s his shoulders and no doubt refrains from beating his wife protesting conscience. The whole examination system is fundamentally wrong in any event. A simple application of the scientific system which all engineers know, and proceed assiduously to forget, since the application cuts seriously into the time spent in the local dens of in- iquity will definitely prove this. what a hole!” Organization: “1 don’t like Joe in the first place, I don’t like these refreshments, I don't ——HIC——-—think an’body loves me. sob.” Generalization: “I don’t like anybody in the whole worl’.” Em plunation: ? '1 ‘!) That was a par ing from the original subject which, in the order of Professor Freud’s parenthetical discourses, and up by getting somewhat out of hand and constituting entire lectures by them- selves, The original subject two patron. theses marks back, was the feeble cry of protest from one who has suf~ fared abominably under the ana— chronistic system. The redletter day the quiz was switched from that giv- en two periods previously, and the day that the quiz for which all essen- tial tormulas would be given turns out to be a quiz for which the Pro— furssor regards all essential formulas to be embodied in the philosopher‘s stone of one solitary formula. Of course all enlightened people now realize that examination grades are no real index to a student’s capacity for a subject and grade according~ ly. And of course all instructors at Armour have the inherent capacity for study, and of course—therefore everyone passes. Which may or may not be recognized a laboring irony. Women Who Love Work Are Kidding, Says Psychologist Chicago, Ill.—-(ACP)——According to at Loyola University psychologist, Dr. Alexander A. Schneider's, the bachelor girl who tells you that she simply loves her work and wouldn’t think of leaving for home or family, is kidding at least. 50 per cent of the time. “It goes back to Freud’s theory of the free will,” he said. “The girl may have had a frustrated love affair, sho may fear that the man she mor- rios will dominate her or she may have a dozen other reasons, all in her subconscious mind, and none of which she will admit. “The chances are that she will say she simply is not interested in men or perhaps that the right man never come along. In her case no man would be the right. man.” And after hurling this gauntlet in the face of emancipated women, Dr. Schneiders loaned back, safely on- sconcod behind his psychology books. UEAL telephone wire—not in cables—can now go underground where bad weather and grass fires can’t harm it. To make this possible, an entirely new kind of Special insulating cont- wire had to be developed. pounds, special splicing methods were devised. Then a simple, economical method of burial had to be found. A special plow solved this problem— one that digs a furrow and tucks away the wire in a single operation. Just one more step in the process of making Bell System service constantly more dependable. Why not telephone home tonight? Rates to most points are lowest any time afler T P. Ml. and all day Sunday.