The staff joins in wishing our readers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. On Making Resolutions Four per cent of the entire year lies between the be- ginning of the Christmas vacation and New Year’s Eve. Instead of spending this time in comparative relaxation according to present plans, why don't we put on an extra spurt, so that by New Year’s Day we'll feel so self-sat- isfied that we will neglect to make any resolutions for next year, leaving the 96 per cent of the year for leisure. Vol. XX. December 14, 1937 No. 12 Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY 3300 Federal St. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year 1936 Member [937 hssocbiled Colleesiole Press “Entry as second class matter applied for at the post office at Chicago, Illinois, under the act of March 3, 1879." wfi'g’éz/ozu $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD .. 'n-Chief ...... Landrith B. Parker, James D. Sheehan Sports Editor ..................... Raymond A. Braun News Editor .................. . . .William J. Chelgren Copy Editor ..................... Albert N. Schrieber Business Manager . . ...... ldris Thomas Faculty Adviser ............ . ....... Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Desk Editor .. . Beardsley Make-up Ediwr Karat Nanman A. R. Georg . . h A. Brain, R. .1. Banner. G. c. G. E. Frost. 11. In. German. 1.. u. Gra. A. artman. H. (3. Johnson. w. H. Kohl. E. .l. Kalnin. ‘ . 'nc. n. Mandel. .1. 1L Meyer. R. E. Prrry. F. Reh. Clpowsi; i. g: . Colnnt. r. 'A. Obilu. n. l’uuloltifl. l'. . ii. I\: 'm' J. Reillv S s 's. Silvermun. Snndusky. Reidol. c hr ~a-- . Snort Write it Clot—k. n. Coyle, L. Mrkm. It F, Anderson, F. De Money . . ntto Silorts Reporters ‘ Good. V. Mason. 5. Shapiro, H. l" BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ....-R. B. Bowman , dvcrtis Assistant 1‘. Stowoll, W. Spcth.F. Slav . Wmhlad ........ ‘ Circulation Mummer- . .. . .. M. Wnldman A. Bobhill. ll. Erisman. Circulation Assistants R. Kuhn, R. K. Smith. ARMOUR TECH NEWS; SALAMANDER Nineteen years after formal work of collegiate grade in fire protection engineering began at Ar- mour Tech, 0. L. Cox. '23, and R. M. Beckwith, '24, in cooperation with Prof. J. B. Finnegan of the faculty took the initial steps in l922 to found Sala- mander, honorary fire protection on— gineering fraternity. The chapter is the only one in the United States. The fraternity key is in the shape of an inverted sprinkler head while the mythical Salamander born, of fire. imbued with fire, rejoicing in fire, is , enclosed to remind viewers that fire is not only the destroyer but is also the servant of man. The pledge button, reel and black in color, represents red fire and the black char that remains in fire's wake. The basis of election to the active chapter is scholarship and character. Two elections are held each year. In October, a sufficient number of seniors to make a total active member- ship of not more than ten and the junior student having the highest standing in the F.P.E. department may be elected. Not more than five members of the junior class may be elected in the Spring. Each year the “Deflector" consisting of letters written by alumni members is published and sent to all alumni members of the chapter. As the fraternity continues. it is realized that men of the same tastes and interests should strive for close union and effective cooperation through a brotherhood whose bond is a common work. W W i ’l‘l‘ih Mhllhml ( M ,r .VN- ~W What is the true significance of the present undeclared war between China and Japan? We in China sincerely believe that. aside from defending our own soil, we are also undertaking the defense of certain basic principles indispensable to the maintenance of international peace and good order. These principles are, firstly, the sanc- tity of treaties, without which there would be utter anwiehy in this world and normal international cultural and economic intercourse would not be possible; secondly, the ontlawry of war as an instrument of national policy and of aggression as the root of all wars; and, thirdly, the principle, long established in international law, of non-interference in the internal affairs of other nations. Japan is distinctly violating all three of these prin- ciplvs. Are we going to allow Japan to set a dangerous precedent which, we feel sure, will be followed by other aggressor nations? We are firmly convinced that the security of one nation depends upon the security of all, and that what happens to one nation is. bound to have repercussions on others. The Chinese people, therefore, earnestly hope that all peoples of the world who wish to live in peace will furnish us in the present struggle with every possible assistance so that mankind may forever 1id itself of the spectre of war. Gan Eng. By James Hebsan According to Dr. Roy W. Hatch, professor of social studies and educa- tion in the New Jersey State Teachers’ College, the discussion of contro~ versial topics requires of the teacher an honest respect ability to make critical judgments for himself. a 1r s: “Soap-box” orators have at last come into their own. Columbia. Uni- versity has announced that hereoftw it will award two scholarships annually ‘ The scholarships will be given for electioneering, union organization, and open—air vocal per— to students who are the best street—comer speakers. formers. =l= =l< #1! Students at Knox and Monmouth colleges went on a strike preliminary to the 53rd football game between the two schools. Not satisfied with a promised half holiday, they objected to the school’s decision to cover the faculty members merit. a a “g Harvard freshman have petitioned school authorities to replace the young chamhormaido who tidy up their rooms, with older women. It seems the youthful maids are too “giddy," talk too much, and sing too frequently while at work, disturbing the students at their studies. a in school govern- A University of Rochester scientist has trapped a rare third form of uranium, employing “cloud champer” apparatus and a camera. By study- ing! its disintegration he has esti- mated the age of the earth at 2,000,- 000,000 years. X= 55 in Public polling is developing into a nuisance on the campus of Louisi- mw State University, according to the “Reveille,” student paper. An editorial states that either the amor- ous should be cautioned to court in seclusion or “vigorous measures” be adapted to’ curb cupld’s campus ac- tivities. ‘k a; ,x The University of Nebraska is be— ing over-run by the Smiths. There are six Robert Smiths and four Vir- ginia Smiths, two of whom belong to for the student’s full day by holding short classes in the morning, leaving the afternoon free for the game. A “Candle Light Brigade," 250 strong, marched into the library of the University of California at Los Angeles in protest against the inade-i quate lighting facilities of the build— ing. 51! 3i: =8 An 18 year old coed is the only feminine guide in the North Woods. She attends junior college in Ely, Minn., and in her free time acts as a guide to deer hunters. What Emily Post is to society in general “Pittiquette” is to the Uni. versity of Pittsburgh. It is edited by a sophomore coed and is presented 1 i to all freshman girls at the Uni- versity. *4 fit =9 What is man coming lo—thal he invades a field which women have al- ways dominated, that of possessing an inferiority complex. psychia- trist at the University of California who hears the woes of students states that inferiority complexes harass twenty—five per cent of the male students entering the school. A rarity among sehools,_is Simpson College in Iowa.‘ It is one of the few colleges in the United States Where the same sorority, attending classes. A University of Minnesota fresh- man had to say “Ugh" 97,000 times in the last few weeks, and it wasn’t a fraternity Erick either. That one word was his entire speaking port in a play. 4 At George Williams College a re. cent concoction of their social com— mittee is noon hour dancing. The boys and girls swing it once a week from 12 to 1 in their social corridor. Why not have something like that at Armour? All we lack is girls. Any suggestions whereby we may over- come this minor contingency will be students have an equal voice with appreciated. The Ellipstick % Cleave to the slipstick; let ' the slapstick fly where it may. 'A Illiss'lssippi River steam-boat was stopped at the 'nwalh. of a. tributary stream, owing to the dense fog. All inquisitive passenger hustled up to tlw ‘caplalw. and fussily inquired the cause of the delay. “Can’t see up the river,” was the laconic reply. “But I can see the stars overhead," said the fussy one sharply. “Yes, bill‘imlcss the boilers bust we aint going that way.” ' ' >l< 5i: 3h ' Temperature Scales 100 degrees Fahrenheit in the shade 55 degrees Centigrade in the shade 328 degrees Absolute in the shade 10 steins of beer in the shade. 1r : Lutimua Poemus Latibus niglitibus Losius keyarium Climbus porchibus Bustum britchihus. And a question in a Latin quiz was to write the four principal parts of any verb. Ono not too bright stun dent Wrote~ slippo, slippers, falli, and humptus. When his paper came back correct- ed it said: failo, failere, fluncti, sus— pendum. if! 31¢ ‘li Stair 037'1'.:——~“shall we go in taxes or wear our own clothes?” >l' ”Say, Doc, as long as I’m to be under other for appendectomy, do you mind cutting out my Corns? I’m kinda sensitive.” 3!: ¥l< A modern woman is like a match—— slim, has her own head, flat-co up easily and can burn a follow up plenty. 11¢ >l= vh HOLIDAYS The Christmas season comes apace And smiles light up the Freshman’s face. He‘s going home to see his folks And tell them all the college jokes. How little bow~wows visit classes Making Prof‘s reclean their glasses, Finding- extra students where There once was just a vacant chair. How early one September morn He wished he never had been born. He left his green cap home that day And lost his pants, the sophomores say. He also lost his city Queen, Who chanced to see the shocking scene. She never knew her hero bold Had spindle legs turned blue with cold. But now his true love calls him back, Let’s wish him peace till Finals crack. 11.13.13. til W 7k The minister arose lo address his congregation. “There is a, certain mom among us today who is flirting with another man’s wife. Unless he puts five dollars in the collection 1202:, his name will be read from the ml- ML" When the collection plate came in, there were nineteen five-dollar bills and a two—dollar bill with a note at- tacked: “Other three pay day.” 5i! >1! ‘4' . And an incapable guy is one who is capable of anything. a: a: at We don’t like it either. . . 5" >1 316 lnttovert No. 1: “Yup!” Introvert No. 2: “Umph.” lntrovert No. 3: “Quit arguing!” #4 si 24 Sign on an Alpine hotel: "tourists going mountain-climbing must nettle all accounts beforehand.” * . “If you had your life to live over again, what would you do?” asked the nosey news-hound of the retiring star. “The same things, but much oftener.” in * 'tl: Montmorencyz—Beg‘ pawdon, sir; when does the next train leave for the east? Ticket agents—In six hours. Mons Ditto:-—Beg pawdon,’ sir; and the west bound train'l, Ticket agent—Not until tomor- row. Mont Same Thimg:~—0kay. Fordie; now we can cross the tracks. 7h - ’7‘ 'r In case we don’t see you before the next issue, we wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy‘New Year. Enjoy land Zazu Armourls Hillbilly 5 Tuesday, December l4, 1937 ends Christmas Emotions “to ills Mountain Belle Deer Sally, ,. Josephine wonee sod, quote—loft and the world laffs with yew, cry and yew streek ycwr rouge, unquote. So wot. . Wei, Sally, old Knick will sune bea hear again. How times scurries on? And with the approaching holoways cums many activities and things too dew. Am I dewing them, you bet! It seams that they have a orkcstra hear, a thing in wich a lot of instew- ments get together tool turn ourt rythmik harmonics. Wei, the stew~ dents in it axed me if I did not want to play my zombotrone in itu—vyew no, the inscrowment which has won string that I hit with my hands, and sweet musik like a harp and trom— bone kums out of it. We], I joint the orchkestra, (how dew you spel that anyway? and laste weak we were invited to a tea danz at a musik skool. Wow, did I hav fun. I waz the chimes of the hat, or the bell of the ball, or sunthing. My beerd had an irresistible opecl too the girls, and my blew serge overhawls waz the style rage. A Wommin Engineer I hav hopes that you, my deer sal~ ly, may boa able to kum hear to skool with me. I red in the Mas— sachoosits Tech. newzpaper that they hav coeds in theyre skool. Wowl All a wommin engineer will hav to (low to land a job is low pul her skirt a halve inch above her two, and she will land the contract to build a sus- pension bridge across lake Michigan. Boy oh buy. another big danz cums up this week. It is cawled the ”Senior Sing” I believe. I wonder if it is anything like the sings we used to hav at the skool howze ever sat. .' dual-t of corn we reely whent to town. This dam: meens that If I go I'll hav too take my second bath within a month. Gosh, I’m am becoming so white hardly anybody noes me. Sumo Ben Ham Next sat, I loaf for my Christmas vizit bak hom. Run over an tel my mow to peel the spuds before she mashes them for Xmas dinner. Dog- gone, eating in lunchrumes is spoilin’ me. And tel her to take the fcthers of the turkey. it improoi‘s the flavor greatly. I can hardly waite to see yew and Zig, and brother Lem an Clod and Twist an sister Ziro an Goldilia and Effie and my other brothers and sisters, and your fam— bly. I guess I’ll dres up as sunta agin this year, brother Lumebrain is only 23 and shuld stil be kept innocent that there is no santa Klaus. For Dad I am brigin sum newfangled thing they Where arown heer called shoes. I’ll bet brother Lamebrain gets a kick out of them. For grand- maw I got a new corn pipe rite oi? the cob. Uncle Zeke is going tew gov. one to. It certainly is cold hear. It wnz so cold in the bording howse the other nite that the filament on the elektik bulb {rot frosty and put the lite out. I tryed to warm it up with a match but the flame froze solid, bekame brittle and broke. I heard that. Christmas is stuff that, every year before it, you wish everybody at very merry. Wel, as a. long- distance traveler once answered when St. Peter axed him howe he had gotten to the Golden Gate, be sad “flu.” Therefor I will :llo, and have f'lum, Yures, Stoopbrnin Bliss nite wen with a hymn hook and a Wishes yew a mery Chris‘tmis. anew/Teri Several years ago the question was raised: “Has the limit been reached in the speed of drawing copper wire? ” Western Electric engineers, assigned to find the answer, developed new methods and machines that did it three times faster. With further study, they surpassed even this record—twelve times the original speed! And the product is lower in cost, higher in quality! Aiming always for this goal—better and more eco- nomical equipment for the Bell System-Western Electric engineers continue to develop the art of manufacture. " hkaQWfikW xix .\~\