”WW Page Four Fly - Chasers To Muff ’37 Opener Nine Men Absolutely Helpless on Any Diamond Swimmers Sunk in Eight Meets; last week when they turned in “This year‘s Tech squad will face one of the most disastrous seasons in years," proudly beamed Coach Krafl‘l; “untalented, ignorant mate— rial, poor coaching and no funds from that cheese Schommer will without a doubt ruin the team." Directing the squad training rou- tine from a silk damask chaise lounge the coach eooed forth his strict or'l ders between sips of lemonade. I-Icrr Coach is especially looking forward to .the opener of the season with Chi- cago, April 10, as he expects Armour to face its woist defeat in a decade. The team will be led by Dave Fors- wins. that they garnered any wins at cent with four straight defeats. North Central and Wilson. 4 Wins Bought Tech’s tankstel‘s alescd their season losses, leaving them a low record of eight losses balanced by only four With a team as consistently wet at the Techducks, the wonder is The average was brought down in the last four meets from 50 to 33 per- The team began their water-logged ‘ season with a materially strong team, cinching two opening meets against Dodge, using a pair of non-skid water wings this season, took indivi- dual scoring honors with 77 points, averaging 3.36 points and .76 punc— ARMOUR TECH NEWS l Delays-M (Continued from page one) pace with Siebert’s excellent jump- ing. Holler caught his trunks on the bar at 18 feet 37 inches and had to be shot down with an elephant gun. He will be buried in the cinder pile cast of the Fieldhousc next month with full military honors. The high jump brought out a choice all. field of performers who really gave the customers a show for their money. This event was won by Bech- el of De Koy Teacher’s. Bechel had a bad case of “spring fever.” He turned in the unique record of jump— ing ten and one half feet under a bar set at six feet ten. Second place went to May Robson, also of the Temple A. C. Unforseen Obstacle Met The home team met with an un-- foreseen obstacle in the relay event. tWO berg, manager, as Coach Krafft’ is tures 1191' 1'3‘39- Svagdis Swain an going to Sex Park to 599 a ball gamel immediate second with a '75 point to- that day, tal, and washed in the high average The pitching stafi‘wm be headed by of 4.81 out of 5 for the individual Will Krusc, a mediocre hurler, whose faces: and 1-82 Out 01 2 101‘ the sub- After Ryan and Dannis had given Tech :1 large lead, Dunbar ran away from the field, but refused to give. Deuter the baton till Deuter paid him back the two bits he owed him. slow ball is his only asset. Assisting marine relays. Harlicek, who had him will be Tom Green, who was suspended from St. Mary for selling the team’s signals, and Pococha and James’ converted Mah—jong players. meets, was forced to drop ofl‘ a perfect average in the first two team because of water on the knee. In the opening meet, the Armour By that time the next three events were run 011'. The winner of this event was the paroled quartet repre- senting State Pen, who ran away from the Police team. Their time the In Seidcnberg and Bacci, Armour Penguins fed North Central the was from 1 to 10 has a pair of expert receivers. Both bHCk'waShv 44‘31‘ It was i“ this The two mile 12“,, )roved to be are quite adapt behind the plate. The meet that Winblad, swimming tsn another breath taker l‘rrmour’s lone infield is stuck with a group of re— feet under water, 5m“: a hole in ‘ . turning lettermen, Bartusek, a Braille student, will play first base, Ed Wag- ner, Krafft’s nephew, although he has not showed up for practice will start at third; Dunne, a close friend of Wagner’s will be at second and “Dead Arm" Roche will be at short. Sub- stitutes are Tullgren, Rodkin, and Shewchuck, who will be used to plug The The second meet. saw party in Armour‘s favor, the third, Wright Junior and the floating decide what bats to buy. Seiden-ldividual 1 win, and. in the the side of the pool with his head. incident sEt back the team $37.00 and the pool wall three feet. a splash 49—26. George Williams’ soaked Armour in College ducked the chhducks in the fourth, Boilermakers up the outfield. ldrowned them in the om). Svag-dis The team will meet tomorrow to l paddled mightily to cop the only in- relay, burg", being the only player to havcl‘churned the water thick enough to entry, Finnegan, refused to run in black trunks. He appeared in a pair of step-ins and was immediately put off the field by the judge, amid the boos of the female customers. Carlc< ton Deuter was substituted for him and, after leading throughout the race, was too weak to break the tape. This enabled Baby LcRoy of the Home For the Aged squad to cap» hooked by Wilson, Wright, Loyola, and Williams. Junior Life-Guard used a bat (do not confuse with bath) lenable his team-mates to tun across‘ emblems and rubber ear-plugs will be awarded all team members still The Armour flying-fishes sailed able to stand up. before, will illustrate the fundamcm to victory in this event. tals in batting to the team. , 1 Everybody enjoys refreshing mildness in a cigarette . . . everybody likes good taste and pleasing aroma. These are the things that smoking a pleasure. For all the good things that smells drag can give you we to enjoy Chesterfield Copyright 1957, LIGGETI‘ a: Mums TooAcco Co. invite you Cigarettes. make C.S.T., 6:02 E.S.T., 6:01% Y.S.T. Neal Simeon returned to win the shot put competition by granting the sphere 196 feet, breaking his arm 1 in two places and the record by 7% " millimeters—surveying done by Al'- mour Civil Department, W.P.A.. proj- ect No. 1465. However when a l Singer Midget on the other end of lthe field threw the sphere back to “Sim,” the judges’ investigation re— vealed that Simeon threw a rubber ball coated with dried mud. Armour made a clean sweep of the dashes by taking first place in all three events. Bodnal'Lreturning to action after a layofi“ due to a cal— loused thumb, lead the pack of wolves followed closely by Deuter, Ryan, and the be-del‘bied Treasurer Allison, who claimed some back 1111-“ ition. Ryan, who finished third in each event, was running interference for his hoofing colleagues, throwing broken glass behind him so that his team-mates wouldn't be overhauled. Thus Armour won in a maze of gory. Armour, far better host than com- petitor, broke the world’s record by carrying in and setting up the high bodies in 6 seconds flat. In the hurdle events the twu Barber Col- lege Teams shaved down the leaders' margin over them by clipping all known records. But they fell short of cutting down the entire total. In order to win, barber fans cut notchcs in their opponents’ hurdles. Slivers, torn seats, and porcupined chasses forced a field of 97 to retire before they could finish, conceding victories to the two hairdresser represcllta‘ lives. In the discus throw, saucers had to be borrowed from the lunch-room, as Coach W. C. Kraflt’s wife had broken all the disc-uses over knoggin the night before, during the course of a little misunderstanding as to where lie—of all people—pick- ed up that blond hair on his coatll Bill had no comeback and—Ar— mour had no discuscs. ture the event. His time was 5:02 Armour’s Towers Till I‘ Really Tower New 3 For the benefit of student base~‘ ball fans, the main building: will be‘» placed on stilts, in order to raise it, three hundred feet higher than it is. now. This will enable them to vicwl the games at Sex Park with greaterl ease than at the present lavel, thusl saving them hundreds of dollars in money that would otherwise have been spent on tickets. Elticiency ex— pert Lucifer Flower is responsible for this boon to Armour’s baseball lovers, and is now engaged in the task of installing telEscopes in all of the rooms facing the park. Dean Heald announced that classes would be suspended during all of the im~ portont games of the season. If the innovation proves success~ ful, Chopin Hall will also be raised Tuesday, April 6, l937 Balm Bam Bam Beam Ow, Boom Bum, Own! The Armour Tech Rifle Club held its first practice sassion in the sub» collar ol" Chopin Hall. Tllirty~five members appeared and the new equipment was equally distributed among lhem. Each man, given an air rifle and pea shooter, immedh ately delllonstrotcd his exceptional marksmanship. After the practice session, two outfielders were found shot dcad in Sex Park, live freshmen were decapitated by bullets tearing through the walls of the fifth floor drawing room, six supports were shot down from under the “El" station, the arsenal in the Armory ignited, blowing up the entire South Side, and the edge of one paper target slightly nicked. Other incidental damage caused was the flooding of the entire to accommodate the crowds of new. students who will come to Armourl when they hear of the new plan. Among other advantages of this‘ idea, the class—rooms will be lifted loop, caused by the lake front be- ing entirely shot up. Armour and Company will pay for all the dorm ages; as the cattle found slaughtered in the Stock Yards by the barrage his ; ' above the general soot level, and ac— cording to Miss Steele, the librarian, the. raising: of the building will be the only way to uplift the general level of the student. ”MM—”gm In an exhibition hop-. etch match, Stale Pen defeated National Guard’ “1‘5 at the City limits. 5-0, proving that the pen is mightier than the sword. When the time came‘to award the cups and the medals, ‘it was found that Daisy Schommer had absconded with them. He was found plastered in the Faculty Club drinking carbon- ated gin-and—milk shakes from the cups. He will be asked to resign within the next twenty—five years. Next year’s Delays will be held at .14.. THE EOULEVARD CAFE. 3100 S. Micllinun Ave. Tel. Victory UHF»! vi, a You to Try Our Special [lull Milk Fed Chicken or Slrloln Stroll rrled in Butter lillfl Cole Slaw, ltudishl-s, "rend and butler for only. . Soul loll. After 8:00 P. M.. Luncheon: 20¢- ” .- .. .c .. m with French Fried l’n'ntour. of shots saved the company $13,000,- 000 killing expenses. The state mil- itia has requested that before the next practice session, twenty hour notice be given so that the city can mobilize and form temporary shel- In the mean- time, the Spanish insurgents have sent lhc United States Government a formal notice charging Armour bul- lets had shot down three Spanish bombing ships over Madrid. Serious international complications are ex- l pcctcd. l .._,~_____._ n»: the city dump grounds to provide room for the two more expected fans. Mary Dilctro Restaurant 3258 l’rinceton Ave. Menu changed daily. Home cook- ing. Complete steak or chop dinners, 35c. Special 30o dinner l l l n ‘Weulgsh ,