Page Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY l . CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Publisher! Weekly During the College Year l 1936 Member I937 l lllssocioled Colleoiole Press @Me 1 ($2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Kaela EDITORIAL comm (lo-EtlitvrsI-in-Chlel . Lnndrith 13. Park James D. Shechan Sports . iur . . . Raymond A Brnun News Edam .. His .1. Ch linen Copy Editor Albert N. Schrigb-ur Thornus Business Manager ' endrlcks Faculty AIIVIscr ...... ldris alter H Desk Editor . minke-up Editor A s inmnl Sports . . Naumu nssisznmcm. Editors M. Ephraim, R. l. Jull‘oc . u Edi J. Plevn 'i M. Luber, J. Res, B. tvrnl‘eld, A. M. anom ......s. Weissmfln BUS ESS DEPARTMENT R. 14. Burman Adv n Manager _ A Assistant A. WInblnd Circulation Manager ..M ‘Lubcr Circulation Assistants . Erlsmun, -,- liohn, ELF; ‘ __ mith. Vol. VIV MARCH 9, 1937 No. 4 On behalf of the students and faculty of Armour Tech, we express our deep sympathy to Alix Toth, freshman chemical engineering student. on the death of his father last week. That Receding Corner Prosperity is just around the corner“ During the depression many peoplehave kept, voicing this hope, “If we can only regain the pro- ‘ duction levels of 1929.” We are now less than, ten per cent below 1929 production, and it is; practical‘y assured that we will reach the former ‘ peak befo‘v‘re many months. Yet the end of our, troubles seems far distant. i There were about 1,800,000 unemployed evenl at the peak in 1929, but this year, quoting Harry L. Hopkins, WPA administrator, “with the same ‘ volume of production, carefully prepared esti'.; mates indicate that there will still be some 61/2 to 71/2 millions unemployed. I use the term ‘un- employed’ to mean jobless workers. You can sub« tract from it whatever number you feel are not employable." On account of improvement in machine tech- nology. a worker can now produce ten per cent; more than he could in 1929. As a result of this 1 condition, ten per cent more goods must be pr l duced to attain the same level of employment However, this is on the assumption that the num- 1 her of workers remains the same. Such an as-“ sumption is false, for about onevhalf a million, more young people enter the labor market each. year than the number of old workers who retire. ‘ It is estimated that recovery cannot be attained until national income exceeds that of‘1929 by at least twenty per cent. * Increased consumption, which must parallel higher production, demands that lower prices be established, and then further improvement in l production methods is necessary to obtain ade-f quote return for-the capital invested. Thereforel greater production is allowed, a smaller number of workers being able to take care of the former ‘} production. The principal difficulty in this cycle is the lag of employment behind improvement technology-g At present, unemployment has helped bring about 1 a situation where the top one—tenth of due per“ cent of the people are getting as much incorrige as l the entire ltottom forty per cent, and—what real- I ly hurts our pride—apparently we can not help it. l l l l l l l [ l Here’s Your Chancel ., l Next week’s issue of the N €103 marks the firstl appearance of the “Mailbox”, an addition to the{ feature department. As explained in the news item, acceptable [matter will be questions, quips, riddles, puzzles, opihions, and if necessary. mari- tal advice. It is interesting to note that a survey of other college paters shows few with as varied 1 / featuresi’as the Armour Tech News. Thus the supposedly too-technical engineering student is able to keep on, éven terms with the student hav- ing greater breadth of interest in his college course. To offset the rosy illusion created by these ob- servations, we must admit that the features are products of only a few staff writers, and. many questions which might have been brought to light have failed through neglect of school philosophers to use the student opinion column. Let’s contribute to the “Mailbox”. To You Authors ‘ Hilaire Belloc, in a recent interview on Rudy Vallee’s radio program, told of his dislike for writing and the difficulty with which he wrote. He mentioned that authors who desire the favor of the wealthy usually do not receive their respect because the rich consider writing an unprofitable business. If the author wants to be a leader, the public ARMOUR TECH news has the idea that the wielder of the pen can only be a cream pufl'. How does an author select a branch of writing? Suppose he writes a piece on porcupines and the publisher makes a profit on the book. The publisher will request books on “quills" or some similar subject and soon the scribe will become known as the “prickly” au— thor. But what about fame? A few will read his books, many will finger through them, and pos- sibly thousands will remember at the mention of his name that he was an author. Et tu Mussolini _ Late last" month, Ras Desta Demtu, last Ethi— opian chieftan opposing the Italians, was caught after an uprising and was put to death. The ras was the son-in-law of Haile Selassie, the fallen Ethiopian emperor. A few thoughts on the problems which Musso— lini has met in conquering and subduing Ethiopia and which most conquering nations meet were expressed long ago by Machiavelli and Sir Thomas More. Machiavelli, an early Italian philosopher, wrote: “In order to preserve a new- ly acquired state particular attention should be given to two points. In the first place, care should be taken entirely to extinguish tlie family of the ancient sovereign; in the second, laws should not be changed, nor taxes increased.” >Sir Thomas More in his “Utopia” tells of a king who tried to extend his kingdom by con: quering a country which was continually in a turbulent state. This new annexa‘tion caused the king, so much trouble that he didn’t have time to give to governing his own country. It came to a point where he had either to give up the con— quered country or to lose his own. . We sympathize with Mussolini for the prob-l lems which he must face. v: The Siipstick Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. To the same girl in the some R.O. VALENTINE 2 Dawn come your nose at the sight of me. When. you read my valentine, You. dimplcd up and smiled at me. YipecH! Fo’givo me Helen, fo'give me. i: 1k I: I hope you appreciated the efforts of our new cubs, Mar-teen and Pythagoras. That dopey Mor-i’een was a bit rough with his cracks but after all he is rather hard. when his father came over from the old country. They put him in Lenv- It all began enwnrth for smuggling Mar-teen in- to the U.S. and Morvfeen has it in for American CITIZENS. ll! lb :1: Heard at A. I. T. (no kidding): “But Professor, you're wrong, we had ten problems for homework not two, and besides that’s for tomorrow; you promised us a hour quiz for to- day, ’mcmber?" “But Miss Steele, I returned that book live minutes late and I insist upon taking the prescribed punish- ment. Take da two bits. “Five bucks, Stan? Say, wait you forgot to add on the sales tax, that ain’t honest." “Will you change my mark Pro- l‘cssor Freud? You gave me a.“B” and I only deserved a “D." “I'll have to see the markc'r, he forgot to take ofl‘ half for this be, inf:r late." 3% r Voila! A letter from a young lady received last Thursday. To the Editors of the Steam Shovel: Due to circumstances which could not have been foreseen, “the young Indy in question" will be unable to go out with anyone Friday night, though she had made an engagement with Roy Starmnnn for the Armour Sophomore Informal. She regrets this fact exceedingly and hopes her note will clear up difficulties which may arise, due to her failure to ap» pear. The Young; Lady in Question. It looks as if we stepped into some— Pythagoras: Gee, I wish I got as good as you, anull I-Iero: Why junior? Pythy: So I can have akstooge like Eejuy to set em up for me. ll! ’1‘ Suggested Theme Songs HYPO NEEDLE: I Gotcha, Under My Skin. PROFESSIONAL HAWAIIAN GUITAR LESSONS Private Lessons at Studio $1.25 per Ell-Z, Music. Included Private Home Lessons $1.75 For fin. Music Included CALL Sl-IEL. 1624 B. GRIESBACH 6611 N. Maplewood Ave. i with his girl. Tuesday, March 9. I937 thing or other. First a letter from Ray, now one from the “Young Lady Question." Little man, what now. . . . in W, '1‘ ’1; Morton E. Luber went skating He skated long and he skated hard. He had to keep up with a girl who weighs less than his shadow. Not that she is thin, but Morton is built rather . . . uh . . . stuidy-likc. Anyway, he skates him— self into a sick-bed and into a ses— sion of arnica and aspirin. And she never even visited the invalid! Mor- ton is now a lame-backed, stone- henrted woman-hater for at least a week. )1: ’1‘ 1“ Bertram F. Heine, the school ac- cordionist, was recently offered a job by the National Theatre Corporation for the coming summer and refused. “I must have my summers open to make up for the subjects I’m going to flunk this semester," mightily sighs Bert. KNIT’DER: You Do the DARND< EST Things, Baby. I CALC: You Are So Easy to Love (but he‘s one guy in a million). ’l‘ ’ll )1: Smm'tlz/ dressed in. gorgeous frock, Lounging against the cocktail bar, Baby, how I wish you were As naughty. my you think you are. unull'that’s ZAZU. THE BOULEVARD CAFE 11100 S. Michigan Ave. Tel. Victory 9354 nvitns You to Try Our Special Half Milk Fed Chicken or Sirloin Steak French Scnl ion, Fried in1 8 r wIilth‘ h Fried Pothtoes nII(l Goa Flow. (“is es, brood and butter for on y .356 After Kill" P. M.. Luncheon 202 W HELLO! Evelyn Chandler—— America’s Queen of Figure « Skaters! She’s the only one in. plate somersault without touching the ice. It’s called—— ”THE ARABIAN CART- WHEEL. Yes, it takes healthy nerves! So Evelyn smokes the world who can do a com- I; Camels. "Camels don’t jangle my nerves,” she says. "I smoke Camels all I pleasel ” m [092.4 n m INTO A SPIRAL. Evelyn’s balance and stamina show good physical condition. A bout smoking, she says: “Camels never interfere with my phys— ical condition. They're mild!" :2; “ACROBATIC SKATING at breakneck speed is strenuous and exciting,” continues Evelyn. “It takes a digestion in tiptop shape. I always light up Camels at mealtimes and afterwards. They help me enjoy my food and Evelyn E’handler . a .. . . flaring: . I. . . Lovely . .. .. . .. Wing-footed .. .. .. . .. Sledding Marvel l9 DIZZY SPINS in rapid s'uc~ cession-~here again smooth— working digestion stands Ev- elyn in good stead. “Camels set me right,” she says. “ They never tire my taste." .3“? SIG BUCHMAYR, internationally fa~ mous ski expert, says: “I smoke Camels with my meals and afterwards, ‘for diges- tion’s sake! ’ ” Camels speed up the flow of digestive fluids—alkaline digestive flu- ids. Camels are mild—easy on the throat. Copyl‘ll m u Camels are made from finer, MORE EXPENSIVE TOBACCOS— Turkish and Domestic —- than any other popular brand SPARK-PLUG of the Detroit Red Wings is Herb Lewis. Herb says: “Camels always top off a good mealto - perfection. ’ ' “ S T R E A K I N G DOWN a bob-run wdemands nerves of steel, ” says Ray- mond F. Stevens. "Camels never both- er my nerves. ” Irrepressible Jack Oaicie leads you throxke'h a full-hour‘s gala entertainment. imagine Jack Oakie running a college! Don’t. miss him or his supporting cast! Benny Goodman’s “Swing” Band! Hollywood comedians and singing stem! Special college amateur talent every week! Tuesdays—~9:30 pm 3.8311, 8:30 pm 7:80 pm M. S.T., 6:30 pm P. S.T., “'ABC—CBS. SEE YOU ALI. AT HISTORIC crows MALI. C. S.T..