ARMOUR TECH NEWS Stanford girls are receiving a lusty raspberry from coeds at the Uni- versity of California. abandoned their silk lingerie for furry red flannel underwear. merchants completely sold out and cl the heaviest buyers of the “scarlet scratchies." the hardiness of the U. of C. coeds. to a lady well over 70 years old. .1. During the recent cold snap many Stanford coeds Palo Alto aimed that Stanford women had been Berkeley stores attested The only suit of red fiannels sold went at # DE PAUW UNIVERSITY KEEPS A 12,000.TON RESERVE 01" GOAL IN THE EVENT THAT MINE-STRIKES WILL CUT OFF THE “EL SUPPLY. WE WONDER HOW MANY TON RESERVE THE UNI~ r W . . The Slipsticlt Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. Mother warned me. Father cau- tioned me. But 1, firm in the belief that any fool can write a Slipstick, write on to something or other! Introduction Our typst is on a vacation, Our typist’s awau for a weak Our typudt us on his vscarion nglc thsee damb keys play hose and scej. Chorus Brin beck, biting bzck, 0y, brung becj mub Onnie to me, ta mr; B(ng b4xj, be—ng bick Oj, bvong bosk m5 belni mic-oh helk! t t 8 MENTHOL QUIZ Question: Egbert craves to go to ll Quote Bunny—~“Alas, alas, alas" ———and that is how we all feel. All ter today though, the local movie houses will have a slight increase in their businesses, which will last un- til about March 13. It used to be that a charette was a friendly affair but nowadays there is feudin' goin" on ’mong the Mall 6': the 'Caughoyl kids and the ammunition is that ver—‘ nacular peculiar to derisive collegi- ans. Nothing is quite so disconcertw ing as being told how lousy you and! your problem is and what you will, get on it. The counter—attack is al—y so unprintable. It is all in funl though, and so was the way that l 1 MLEEDOSQOPE SAMUEL HOFFENSTEIN, humor- ist, pessimist, and—we hesitate to say this, but 'we have read some of his more unrestrained effusions— ,lunatic, becomes bitter, and verges on the edge of blasphemy in the a When Hoil’enstein stops laughing at himself and at the world in gen- eral, he joins Thomas Hardy and commences to mutter imprecationa at the high heavens. The selection we give you is from Poems in Praise of Practically Nothing. Interlude, for a Solitary lF'luto Ix . The dream of that high roadway out of life, Soaring above The dust, the tending bitterness, the strife-~— That men call Love, I followed: Blessed be God, Who hung so bright l Tuesday, Marti) 2, W37 Blesséd be God, Who used me for this part: Who, for the richer savor of His wine, Crushed out of me the marrow and the heart, The hope, the dream, and for an anodyns, Hung star on lying star Above His abattoir! Blessed be He, Whom men hovel wisely feared, To whom the seas have sent their terror up»- And may there be no stain upon His beard When next He quafl‘s the cup! WE NOW GIVE YOU Sir Holler:— stein in one of his delectably impu— dent moods. This is one of the series which he styles Poems of Passion Carefully Restrained so as to Offend Nobody. Lovely lady, who does so All my walking haunt, Tell me, tell me, do you know ansITY or ALASKA KEEPS. BRR... AW”;- Hemlfll 0f till”, "1'“ “"01“ Mei..." 105i his trousers. Mr. Loabl ,, m, 1 What the hell. you want? t x: 9.4 lMF t A ta C II ofiois apu advice on 1:; ml a waste of (“an think it was so funny and told Above an abattoir! I emmes a ugus na 0 GEB, the filthy lucrc (dough) ””3 would Richardson so. Anubis was rather Lady, to whose feet I’d bring Ben Schmoker, executive secretary‘s. D., sell mimeographed “reputa~ . . , . - . be. Only Uncle Snazzy remains silent of the University of anesotas tions" of follows as they are doped on thc subject. Is this because' (a) put out for something that. Mike did‘ The dream that shines upon the dy— The world, if I could win it' Y. M. C. A., receives a lot of unusual requests. A mother, worried about‘ her freshman son, wrote him the fol- lowing: letter: 3 "I am sending you three suits of woolen underwear under separate cover. Please see to it that my boy wears them as he should during the cold weather." :k 5* And some time ago a freshie stop. ped Sehmoker and chirped up with, “Can you please tell me in what building the campus is?" Wowl‘. 3h ’2‘ The University of Kentucky boasts a professor apparently so in- teresting in his lectures that stu- dents practically have to be thrown out his class to keep down the en- rollment. Prof. Funkhouser’s Hen‘ edity class attained an enrollment of 115 students as he dropped even first—day absentces from class in a desperate attempt to stem the hugcl registration. What a man . . . . 1 llx Iii i2: Margaret Potts of Vcntura Junior College can take dictation at the mic of 200 words a minute for flvcl con- scculivc minutes. She would make an ideal wife, we think, we think. But , what happens after the five minutes! ‘ Ill 311 a]: Coeds at the University of West- . ern Ontario are ready to flop intol their chairs for a sit-down strike. They threaten to use their parking- power if the student administrative assembly rules against wearing our- r'gcs at formal affairs. ’1‘ 3i: *- “Vacations are a bad thing. They make students forget most of what they know." Prof. Warner Brown, chairman of the psychology depart» ment of the University of California states. Maybe so, but those moonlit nights teach many students quite a few things they never knew. . . . . . a: a: 4: out at their date—hashing sessions. One can’t be too careful. . . . “With Reservations" Here is a letter written by a girl in answer to an ad in the Syracuse University campus date bureau. Dear Sirz—I like your courage in advertising for a date, and I believe he bclicz'cs in college education, (1)) he believes Egbert could act a. lot of good out of it, or (c) he considers the whole matter none of his business? Answer: It is because Uncle Snazzy has been dead ten years. Question: Egbert gets a touch of bronchitis. All his Armour comrades I would like to go out with you. I! am short, rather good looking, and' low to dance. If you should decide1 dash right over to quote cases in which people died from bronchitis by having it develop into bronchial pnou~ to take me, I must make the follow- x mania. Only Jake Jeep refrains from ing stipulation: First: I may he kissed, but with reservation. “Second: I cannot be plied with liquor. “Third: I have no particular desire to walk to the senior ball, nor walk home. “Fourth: A hamburger is not myl idea of after dance refreshments. “Fifth: Anything less than an orchid cannot be called a corsage. “Sixth: I will make the rest of the rules as I go along. 11' you agree to the terms, I will take the jump. You while the windows are being opened. may call for me at, . . house) between o'clock. “I". S.—If I don’t win out for the senior ball, you can call for me on some other occasion. . (A sorority The Northeast Courier of North- east high school, Kansas City, Mis- souri, publishes this bit of flattery: I’d like to he a senior. and with the seniors stand, A fountain pen behind my car, a notebook in my hand. I wouldn‘t be an emperor, I wouldn't be a king! I’d rather be a senior, and never do a thing! In South Dakota the. plural of campus is campi, wc learn from the Industrial Collegian. We don‘t know what it is in any other country, but “It’s really much shorter in Sia- wc’vc spelled it “Campuses.” f mese,” is the modest ‘ o the owner of the longest surname at Harvard University, Kaisui Nimman- ahaeminda I. G. B. >l= bk )1: Of all the Sissies! A University of Iowa professor who planned to go on a bobsleighing party with stu~ dents had to stay home because his mother wouldn’t let him go. She claimed “such a party is not digni— fied enough for a college teacher.” a): Bit '41 Awarding prizes for male ugliness on the college cumin/ls is by no means a new stunt. The University of Chat- tanooga probably started the ugly- muy contests by launching an annual search for the most campussvdisrc- garding map and conferring upon its owner the coveted degree of Bache- lor of Uglincss. Now Hardin-Sim mans University goes Chattanooga one better. Arrangements me being made for the ugliest boy on the cam- pus to have a, subsidized date with the campus’ most beautiful co-col. We should Ito/0c gone to Hardin-Simmons and settled our dole problem for once and all. a r * THE PREPARING OF 150,000 ROUND, WHITE “HEAD—ACHE CHASERS” IS JUST ONE OF THE TASKS THE 4A SENIORS IN OPERATIVE PHARMACY AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA DO IN ONE YEAR. I Leads College Comics | ACK OAKIE—above—Offers un- g dergraduate musical talent its first opportunity to perform in big time radio. Jack is “Proxy” of the mythical oakie-Doakie College of. the Air presented by Camel Cigar- ettes Tuesday evenings on Columc bla's coast-to-coast network. Qualified vocalists and instrument: talists from colleges and universi- ties throughout the country are being enrolled for the rollicking hour-long “classes." Remainder of musical background tor the broad- cast is furnished by Benny Good» man's swing ban and Georgia Stoll's orchestra. seven and eight ..She: I’m afraid to go into that doing so. Is this becuse (a) he has never heard of anyone dying from bronchitis which developed into bron- chial pneumonia, or (b) he is afraid such onccdotcc might depress poor Egbert? Answer: It is because Jake Jeep is sick «bed with bronchitis himself. 1!: ll: ’11 l Rosalie thinks her sewing famed You see, she doesn’t know Why all the boys call her “That little sew and sew." We will now pause for a moment our; dark room. . .‘He: But dearest, I’m with you. She: That’s just the trouble. Will some one open the windows ' [ just a bit more? MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! *1: if m Collegiate viewpoint: It's not the, girl that counts, it‘s what she standol for. 5b 9: a Our censor went to the races l And he came home a wreck. He’d seen to his chagrin Two horses neck and neck. 1% 2 If at first you don't succeed, try, try again—but NOT with the same gal. ~Mcmoirs of E. J. a. c a The great southwestern part of our country is supposed to be very health» ful to live in. This report comes in from the little town where they killed off two of their oldest people to start a cemetery. A circus agent, hearing of a hundred-and-eight-yenr-old mountaineer living there, visited the place to hire this modern Methuselah for his show. The agent found him sitting before his shack smoking a pipe. Delighted, the agent entreated, “Come along with me, I’ll pay you well." “I’d have to ask Paw first," answered the old codger. “What! you have a father?" ejaculated the agent, “Call him out.” “He can’t come out now. He’s feeding Grandpaw. You see, Grandpaw’s hands shake quite a bit now!" 39 it it Overheard in P. Mission: “How was I to know I had been going to and told Milka so. All in a dayll There hasn’t been a judgment so far this semester and so the only thing left to dig up is Dirt. Litwin is still laughing about the time he made Joe Wagner roll across the floor. Joe is the type that can really roll too. . . . There was a rut loose in the department and we think Burnhum is the boy who put the thing under Prothcr’s study and thcnl squashed it. An open window helped out a lot after Prathcr’s nose dis-l covered Mr. Mouse. l After one month of clammering about who Mr. Loebl saw in the Eun- plre Room the answer is here. The; man who appeared to be so com‘l pletoly, madly, that he] couldl not tear his‘eycs from his date ‘ was—~LINDAl-IL. The truth willl on“! l enamored There are no answers to last1 week’s query because A. G. forgot the questions. This week’s quiz iszl 1. Who was bowled out for loafingl and why is Huboi sore at Mr. L'Zl 2. Who is "bluenose‘l" 3. Who won- dered if “Charcttc” was a French girl and why? Art Gum. jlwrolemlty Notes ll DELTA TAU DELTA The chapter takes pleasure in an- nouncing the formal initiation of the following men: James Winston Duncan '40 John J. Fox, Jr. '40 Eugen. Jerome Hanson '38 William Andrew Haubcrt ‘40 Louis J. Jacobs ’38 John For-nay McIntyre '38 .lamea Paul Ransel ’40 Philip Increase Robinson ’40 Philip Randall Smith '40 Donald Helgonon Surnde ’40 William Francis Yeager '40 Bernard William Bernstrom '39 ) l A number of the actives attended the regional conference at Madison on the 25th, and the house was a little quiet over the week—end. We are looking forward with a great deal of anticipation to a num— ber of events. One of the forthcom- ing' basketball tourney and we expect to go places this year. The Mothers' Tea will be held on March 14, We also have a line looking bunch of‘ rushees this semester. The Preb- Streb banquet about tops the busy month ahead of us. l’lll Pl PHI Gamma chapter of Phi Pi Phi takes great pleasure in announcing the pledging of: Maurice J. Gates, (311.15. ’41 Arthur W. Malmquist, NLE. ’41 ling breath, The desperate story Wherewith men seek to light the mood of Death—— The dream of Glory, 1 followed: Blesséd be God, Who hung so bright a star Above an abattoir! The dream of Joy, the dream, that even Christ Wrung‘, carth-accurscd, From the tenacious thorn, the thun- derous mist, The acid thirst, I followed: Blesséd be God, Who hung so bright a star Above an abattoir! The dream of Peace, where like a little wind To the indifferent grass, Life sings to the green quiet of the mind 0f airy things that pass, I followed: [Blessed be God, who hung so white a star Above an abattoir! PI KAPPA PHI Last Sunday, after the ending of a successful probation week, the ac- tive members of the Alpha Phi chap- ter of Pi Kappa Phi had the pleasure of welcoming the following men into their ranks: Roy I). Brinkman '40 Julian C. Chaderton '39 John W. Dodge '40 John R. Gerhardt ’40 Clarence Laskowoki '40 Elmer A. Motson '40 Richard Clinger ’41 ll‘larold J. Pavel ’40 Ralph J. Schmal ’41 Edward W. Schmidt ’41 Frank E. Slavin '40 Following the formal initiation a banquet was held at the chapter house. Next Sunday the Mother’s Club will hold a tea in honor of the moth. ers of the newly initiated Pi Kapps. Brother Lawrence Barbicri of Psi Chapter of our national organization has been staying at the house for the past week. He is an alumnus of Cornell University in Syracuse, New York. ‘3le ALPHA'MU With a full program planned for the next few weeks the members and pledges are beinf,r kept quite busy. This week we are entertaining fra Jimmy Hammerstein, our national secretary from New York, who is vis- iting our Middle-west chapters. The alumni are holding a special meeting , Thursday night in honor of “Jimmy” and all of us extend to him our With the ending of Hell Week the deepest welcome. following eight men were formally economics instead of chem lecture all initiated on February 20: last semester? I sleep just as well in both!" a: a at And you. never realize what a small world this is until you see an Armourite trying to park his car in it. l as 9k a: In conclusion, here’s a HOT TIE, l 1 William ll. Buckcridge, F.P.E. '40 William M. Caldwell, Sc. ’39 John C. Cerovski, Arch. '40 Clayton W. DeMcnt, F.P.E. '40 Carleton Dormer, ClhE. ’38 Budd Kubiclxa, Sc. '40 George A. Molitor, ChJE. ’40 Richard N. Vandekiefl', M.E. '39 Everyone, including the pledges, When you LAMP :1 swell looking l enjoyed Hell Week to the fullest. The FLAME don’t get her LIT up unless , actives maintain that swinging a PYTHAGORAS. you‘re a MATCH for her boy friend. paddle hurts the giver worse than the receiver, but the pledges would error in this way of thinking. Wednesday afternoon our Moth- ers’ Club gets under way with a tea l at the chapter house. A great deal of l enthusiasm has ben built up for the ‘ Mothers’ Club and an interesting l program will be presented at the tea. l On March 13 our splash party will be held at the Medinah Athletic Club l and arrangements are being made by l fra Mashman who promises us a wons dcrful time. Another alumni who is having; a grand time is fro Gus Freund who is vacationing in King's» ton Jamaica. He has invited us to : have our next party down there and ‘ Close the windows. There’s a draft. have been willing to demonstrate the’ all of us wish we could accept his teasing- invitation. Are you sure of anything For a single minute? You whose eyes can kindle flame Only Death could smother, Tell me, please, does any dame Differ from another? Was the nipple applesauce Evc ate in the garden? Aren’t you all a total loss? No? I beg your pardon! R.W. “Structures” Heard By W. S. E. Last Week Problems in “Structures" were discussed by Mr. W. J. Carton of the Portland Cement Company last Fri- day at the regular meeting of the W Slides illustrating various types of rigid frame structures were shown by Mr. Carton who analyzed the de- sign of rigid frame bridges and arch- itectural concrete during his talk. Mr. Carton will return at a future date to give a talk on the construc- tion methods of concrete. THETA XI The brothers and their girl friends all turned up last Saturday night for an annual Hard Times party. The costumes that were worn were quite novel and unique. Brother Kerbher and his wife dropped in from Milwaukee on Mon— day, and stayed for a short visit. Brother Kercher is now employed by the Cutler Hammer Corporation. Our bowling team is practicing in the event that a tournament will be coming soon. Our first basketball game will be played today with the Delta Tau Delta fraternity. PHI KAPPA SIGMA ' The house wishes to congratulate Mr. 0. Gordon Erickson and the mu- sical clubs on the fine concert pre- sented last Thursday evening. The following men were initiated on Monday last: Wayne Felix Doldcr, 13.5. '40 Harry Prestegard, M.E. ’40 Thomas Alexander Clark N15. ’39 . Leroy Dressler Downing, FIRE. ’40 Charles William McClure'n, E.E. '40 James Donald Charlton, Ch.E. ’40 George Nels Soderstrom, 13.13. ’40 Karl Wilbur Hawkins, Ch.E. '40 Our congratulations to the new men. TRIANGLE Our new cook arrived this week and we are no longer plagued with Lundberg’s cooking. Brother Frank Kaman will probably come back to school if Lundbcrg‘ promises to stay out of the kitchen. Kaman has been advancing a mum ber of reasons for wanting to stay at Bob Young’s house. The real rea» son is the proximity to Mundelein College wherein lives a certain blonde. A house pingopong tournament has been scheduled, the winners of which will comprise our team in the Inter- fraternity tournament. Pledge Dave Dahl has :1 nice forehand drive and some good serves and is likely to be the winner. new“. . L... .