Page Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO. ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year 1936 Member 1037 Rssocioled Cofleoiale Dress @297 $.00 Per Year Single Coples, 10 Cents Kath EDITORIAL BOARD Lnndrith B. Parker. James D. Sheehan Co-detorsdnvChi A. Bruun Spam Editor 1' Copy Editor Business Manager Faculty Adviser . ‘ . r. Beardslev Dcsk Editor .. n. K otnl Renders H , D. Rndkin, 'l‘. W. Yeaklo. ............. L. Buin, Il- Burtnsek, W. E. Erickson, C. Johnson. J. D. Keane, l’. Kosovskl, C. Kovacik, Morrison, N. Nutinchek. R. Perry, arr ' Assistant Copy C. W. Itch News Reporters (:1. Frost, H. N. L. Levine, J. A. Meyer, R. J. P. Sundusky, S. S. Silvormnn. Snort Writers , .. . .. . ”T. Clark. H. Coyle, L. Norkus, W. P. O‘Brien, J. Ratio, E. Worcester. R War *5 . BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager Advertising Aaslslanta Circulation annual- Circulation Assistants R. S. Kohn, ii. 1‘. Kusutzky. Vol. XIX JUNE 2, 1937 . B Burmon Winblud a n . n Erisman, No. 15 So Long, Fellows! Gee, fellows, we’ve enjoyed your friendship and smiles of recognition during the past three years. In our first year, you made us wear those green mites and took us nicely in the freshman- sophomore rush but still after the battles were over and the boiling blood had simmered down, we forgot all. We enjoyed dribbling around you in interciass basketball for the first twa years to the cham— pionship and are happy that you are reconciled by a championship of your own this last season. The memory of sweat and extra effort to pass you on the track is sweet. Those thrilling innings in interclass baseball, the report of wood on ARMOUR TECH NEWS leather and the rousing cheers of our ‘ too will always be sweet memories. Most recently in the fellowship of Junior Week, you laughed with us in the freak relay races—wlaughed at the stumbling of your men and ours; grunted in opposite directions in the tug-of—war; and mutually smelled of rotten eggs. To the men with whom we were particularly associated on the News staff go out our hands. We enjoyed your sincere criticisms of our copy and the comradeship of “newsmen.” You were “real guys.” More Time for Lunch One item which has long been the subject of discussion is the short noon “hour" with which we have been blessed. Fraternity men especially find it inconvenient to have but fifty minutes for a hasty lunch and travel to and from the frater— nity. No one would object to more time for after lunch relaxation, yet a change in the pres— ent hours has its disadvantages. Several different ways of correcting the situa— tion have been offered. One suggestion is to start at nine o’clock and to have one less hour in school, but this would magnify the difficulty of arranging programs, and would demand a larger professional staff and the conversion of more space into classrooms. The suggestion of cutting, say, two minutes off each class and one minute off each between- classes period is met with disapproval from the offices. In addition there is the objection to ending one class at eleven twenty-three and one- quarter and beginning the next at eleven thirty- one and three-quarters. Another solution offered is to have the morn— ing classes begin at 8:10, 9:10, 10:10, and 11:10, thus having all the classes begin at ten minutes after the hour. A similar suggestion has been made to the faculty council, but those who live in the suburbs object to coming any earlier. It seems to us that the students should at least vote on the question so that their wishes in the matter may be made known. fits/771011363 Ever since Helen of Troy kidded the buys into thinking her face was worth the launching of 1,000 ships and a lengthy war—«and before that, women have been making men do foolish things. The beauty that makes men transform themselves into long‘eared, Democratic symbols worked on a romantic freshman at. Princeton University who met a lovely coed at a spring prom. Intoxicated with her beauty, he staggered home that night and penned her a ByronicvSwinburnian letter. But when it came to address the envelope, he realized he had failed to get her name and address. Undaunted, he sent, the letter to “The Most. BeaUtiful Girl in South Orange, N. J." A few days later it returned unopened and marked Lost and Found, “To the Dumbest Boy at Princeton." I Around Washington I By Mervin Cox A.C.l‘. Correspondent WASHINGTON, D. C.——-Dcep in the recesses of the massive new In— tcrior Building there is situated a unit of the Federal government that is accomplishing a dual task, both as- pects of which relate to young people and education. The organization of which I speak is the Federal Education Radio Proj~ ect. Within the last few months more than 800 educational radio pro- grams have been broadcast over 87 radio stations situated in 39 states. And most of the programs have been put on by students! At New York University a Radio Workshop is maintained by the Edu— cation Project and selected students from various educational institutions receive training from recognized ex~ ports in the various phases of radio. But for every one of the students in the Radio Workshop there are 10 or more out in the states putting A freshman at Harvard University, noting a bulletin board headed “Dates for English Examinations," remarked that there are hardly any functions to which a fellow can go stag any- more. The odorless cabbage developed at Cornell University recently should make good cigars. The United States has a higher pro- portion of college graduates than any other nation in the world. There is one graduate to every 44 persons. . A ONE‘EYED BEE HAS BEEN DISCOVERED AT IOWA STATE UNIVERSITY. ONLY THREE OR FOUR HAVE EVER BEEN KNOWN TO ENTYMOLOGISTS. Left handed students at the Kansas State Teachers College (Emporia) are protesting because there are not left handed chairs provided for them in the classrooms. The trustees of Muskington College have lifted a 97 year old ban against card playing and dancing by stu- dents. Bel that any (lay now they'll hear that the Civil War is over. In a group of 150 schools consid- ered as leading, athletically speaking, 62 had names of animals for their nicknames. Statistics show that Yale gradu- ates have 1.42 children, while Vas- nor college graduates have 1.85 chil- dren, which proves that women have more children than men, or does it? New York University (N. Y. C.) scientists have developed a sound microscope which magnifies sound 10,000,000,000,000 times. With it they have listened to a weevil boring into a grain of wheat. An “electric eye" detects late-com- ers to physics classes at St. Thomas College. Even while the professor's back is turned, a person can’t slip in undetected, for he must cross a beam and when he does a gang clangs. lt would take 503 years for one person to complete all the courses offered at Yale. The girls at Ber-ea College, in Kentucky, are either poor or they don’t hold hands or kiss in the dorm “parlor." They are allowed to en- tertain three times a week from the hours of six to seven. If caught hand-holding they are lined $10, and if caught oscillating, they are fined $25. A three-wheel cart, scarcely larger than a portable typewriter, but weighing 200 pounds, is used at the ‘University of Minnesota to transport the hospital’s supply of radium. The cart is lined with a plate of lead, more than an inch thick and .5 sur- on through the cooperation of the Radio Project and its Script Ex- change educational radio shows that have proved to be immensely popular. The entire Radio Project is fin nanced from WPA money, and, as in most WPA projects, 90% of the funds must go to relief clients. So CCC boys, unemployed actors, musicians, and engineers get WPA jobs to put over the program of educational radio. On the nation-wide hook-ups, however, the networks pay their own musicians and stafi‘ to provide the finished program. b it The University of Arkansas is go- ing to have an alumnus on the United States Supreme Court, if the prog- nosticators around Washington are right. Senator Joseph T. Robinson of Arkansas is slated for the appoint- ment, according to alleged inside in- formation, although certain of the President’s advisers are said to be against him. If ever anybody earned an ap- pointment, Senator Robinson has. He has borne the brunt of the Adminis— tration’s fights in the Senate, and he has always steered Administration measures through even when they were not in line with his own point of view. :3 a a This column concludes the present school year’s work, and your Wash— ington correspondent wishes you a pleasant vacation, and congratula~ tions that you do not have to spend rounded by a copper plate covered the summer months in Washington’s with chromium. shimmering heat. 9 . . ‘ The Slapstick Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. Good morning, all my friends and professors! Because this is the last column this semester and because we want you to enjoy your last few mo— ments here, We will refrain from men- tioning exams. Exams mum nothing to us. We’re out for the education. and so tolerate the exams as a bit of an inconvenience. We never worry about comma, usually going out on a. bingo for a solid two weeks before the orc- ams. We never worry about exams. We're fluuklug out fills semester! t ”l: a: . ”What have you done," St. Peter asked, “That I should admit you here?” “I ran a paper," the editor said, “At my college for one long your." St. Peter pitying'ly shook his head And gravely touched the bell. “Come in, poor thing, select a harp, “You’ve had your share of hell!" Northeastern News. a: “How is it that women learn to swim more easily than men?” “Who wants to teach a man to swim, anyway?” ‘2‘ )lx fine: “My boss is an angel." Prue: “I'm so sorry l’ Iii fl: ’2‘ The hangman tightened the knot and asked the condemned golfer: “Well, do you have have anything to say before I hang you ” The golf- er piped up with “Yah sure. Mind it I take a couple of practice swings?” l >)= ti: And are we glad we don‘t have to take Prof. Bibb’s (exam after that out; . . . 5“ V11 m Plight owls seldom give a host. 2: m m A CHEER Orlha ultra chlorbcmeue Double-bowled olcfiuc Alpha Bola osuzouc 0m iodo, four dibrom Ethcrs, esters, slufl and blah, RuhSchmicrr, RaluSchmim‘ul Roth 3 times] ii: ii! The original high-pressure sales- man was one Slug MucBustem, a musscur. 4!: 7'71 7% Wheat may be goingr up but the price of wild oats will be the some. . ,1 ”Did you ever sell brushes?" “No, why?" “Well, you better get one quick and start sellin'. That’s my husband at the front door." ’15 3% )li “Yesterday ll shot a hole through a nickel at 200 yards." ‘ “‘Humph! What did it get you?" “A son-in-law. The nickel was in his back pocket." iii l’l‘ Wagner claims that if you give a girl three hiyhbclls she’ll strike out for herself. )li Vt A nose dive is a plastic surgeon’s office. til ‘ri‘ )i: So long, good luck and a, humane vacation, if any: Enjoy. "The trouble with plants and sub Wells is that just as soon as you start moukcydug around with them they die, and then they’re usually dead!” philosophic/es Doug MacDonald to the softly snoring junior schmlcr class. Surely from the heavens drops light for youth if youth will walk thereby. 4‘ a =|= “One Down” Kruse wouldn’t give up baseball for seven chem reports and a new pair of white shoes. “Those baseball trips give a person a broad cultural background that will prove invaluable in later life." For further reports see the other eight old men. * ll: “To h.. .. with the Devil’s Play- ground!” moans Milt Kooster, “‘n she was such sweet and innocent like!" Milt took a dare to dance with a girl sitting alone in the corner and liked it. When the floor show came on, his partner loft him flat and re- appeared as a hula dancer a in strip tease. Win the reward of the next world by suffering in this ........ [jar—”War...ei ‘ ‘ Fraternity Notes i \Wedncsday, June 2. ‘l937 The final week 01’ school is hero and the fraternities are casting fare— well glances ovcr the past year as well as looking forward to the com~ ing summer and next fall. Sigma. Alpha Mu Elects Sigma Alpha Mu a the election of the following officers: A. N. Schricher, prior; 1. E. Schlifke, exchcqncr; J. Mashman, recorder; R. Kohn, historian, M. Kahn, assist— ant cxchcqucr. A new Triangle pledge is J. Widcman, Co—op ’41. ,More Social Events The Phi Kapps reveled at a radio dance at the house last Saturday night. Fifty—three couples were. pres— ent at the Rho Delt dinner dance last week. Alumni from the year 1919 and up were present including,- the four charter members. Professor Nachman and “Sonny” ‘Weissman were present. TX will have their senior farewell dance next Saturday at Dick Ansel’s home; two weeks lat- er they will have an alumni dance at the Edgewater Beach. Wednesday, June 9 is the date for the Pi Kapp senior farewell, and reservations should be made early. On the same date the Delta will put on their similar party. Triangle Convention in Black Hills Most of the houses are planning their summer program consisting of the usual outings and dances. All of the Triangle actives are looking; forward to the two weeks at their national Convention at the Black Hills 01' South Dakota. The Pi Kapp Mother's Club will hold their annual pot luck dinner on June 10. Triangle held a combined alumni and active meeting: last Thurs- day at the house. Lam. Shots Phi Pi meets the Delta in the golf finals and Phi Pi will also meet the Phi Kappa in the ping: pong finals. Delt Nichols is having “fine" trouble with Neil Steele. That’s all for this year fellows. Good luck and lots of fun over the summer. College days are the happiest days of your life. When the typewriter keys waver and fade in front of your eyes and you can no longer road the fifth place on the slipstick; when thc index of refraction persists in Coming out to be 7894.32; when the math prof hands back that quiz with an unhappy little sigh; then—then re- member these are the happiest days of your life. Think of the friends you make, (what if he won’t pay that twenty cents till Tuesday?) Think of the fact that school will close in another week. Feel it? Happiness! Daddy was right, college days are etc. Therefore, depart softly from these hallowed halls, (always remembering- to collect that twenty cents) toddle up to the departing seniors and shake them heartily by the hand. Poor souls, theirs no longer the assignments to occupy their idle time from 5:00 to midnight. Now, instead of merely getting D on a design problem they can have the much more satisfying ° BUCKSHOT” me SENIDR WALK AT THE UNIVERSlTY OF ARKANSA? W THE NAMES OF ALL GRAD- um'ss (over madman/so g ON IT! ' ckfiwghx ivy Alsatian? Cnllzgm: Pveyiwkis’llumu Wu. 1 m Now that the school year is prac- tically ov‘cr we look back and see that the department has improved enormously this last year and we feel sure that it will improve even more next year. We are very sorry that some of our professors are leaving and ack- nowledge that their criticism has been a great help to us and we wish to thank them for it. We are looking forward to next year when Mr. Deam will be the director of the department and we feel certain that his criticisms will help to boost us along even far. thcr in the Beaux-Arts than we have gone this year. The librarians of the Burnham li— hrary have helped us a lot too, for. we would never'be able to design much of anything if they hadn’t found many examples for us to use in the huge collection of books in their charge. The last Class A j udgment has just passed by now. Baker, Donnelly“ Lohmiller. Ramp, and Salettn. have one more mention to the credit, which isn’t bad a’tall. The colunm suggests that the fol- lowing awards ought to be given: 1. “Class writer of best insulting letters prize"-—Moselcy. 2. “Laziest man who still gets a lot done prize"—-Parks. 3. “Fly off the handle quickest prize”——-Mike. 4. “Modesty prizc"—Kliplmrdt. 5. “Sucknr better prize”-—Beckcr. 6. “Going; longest without a hair- cut prize”——-Bnrnham and Liacher. «Ami now that the year’s work is done I say ’byc now—sec you in the fall. Art Gum. trolleys Days, the Happiest of Your Life; Don’t Worm. You Won’t Flank experience of watching the bridge collapse when the first unsuspecting soul ventures out upon it. Be cauti- ous with the leaving Chemicals; they will probably be shy and hard to ap- proach, the poor souls having spent two thirds of their time in the evil smelling fog drifting about in the labs. Blow a little hydrogen sul— phide in their face and they will re- cover rapidly from the asphyxiating effects of fresh air and evidence pa- thetic signs of delight at finding someone else in the building. Unfortunately the semester closes this year after the final exams instead of before, as it has been determined that there is a greater attendance if this procedure is followed. So take the finals but don’t attach too much importance to them. Nobody will ilunk since flunks are said to be un- pleasant to receivedahd unpleasant experiences are contraverted as these are the Happiest Days of Your Life. ”ff—.— ALTHOUGH HE HAS BEE sumo smog as: BOYHCDD ’7'; ll 3 i . ,,. I , o o . . , IS THE SUCCESSFUL BAND DIRECTOR OF HAVERFORD COLLEGE! BUTLER N THE LAMBDR CH1 HOUSE AT ALABth M 'll—lREE 0’?- Hi5" E NA ED gag}, orrsrsws mussel, cs: AND ALPRA 5