Page Two Armour Tech Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO. ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Your [936 Member Rssocialecl Collegiate Dress 2.00 Per Year Desk Editor . .. Literary Editor ,. ' nl (Tony Renders . Rel}. l). liodkin. l' nntluaky, . Snort Writers: W. l’ O'Hrien. J. Rutlo. T. Worror or Advertiling Manager .. Advertising Asuistan Circulation Mummer- .. " culntion Assistants R. S. Kuhn. II. I’. Kusotzky. R K. Smith. Vol. XIX A Motion to Cut initiation Fees to Honoraries When a student is initiated to a number of honorary fraternities at Armour Tech, he finds himself giving a small fortune to wear another key on his watch chain. Explanations for the high Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD Landrith B. Parker. Clark. II. (‘nyle t it. W1 BUSINESS D ARTMENT MAY 25, 1937 ARMOUR TECH NEWS mum of fifteen dollars. High initiation fees leave amounts in the treasury which the. seniors may see {it to use for purchasing ash trays or paper weights or for News members in voting on an appropriation were to , use money directly from their pockets instead of \that which they had paid in their initiation fee, lthey would certainly be more parsimonious. It seems better to cut initiation fees to a mini- mum, actually collect the fee, and to meet extra expenses by assessments. l937 James D. Sheehun Student Opinion x' alter Hendricks Dear Maintenance Department: In a recent interview with one of your members, a group of students was informed that “Armour students think 9 too much." The interview concerned itself with the den plnrahle condition of the lavatories at this school and the remark was directed at the complaint that was made about the manner in which these rooms were kept. The gentleman with whom they conferred seemed to think that if the Armour student is given an inch he wants a. mile. Maybe so, but at least the atmosphere, both gaseous and material, of the toilets should be such that one would feel safe in the use of it. Any engineer even slightly acquainted with the study of sanitary engi- neering would certainly entertain many critical views in regard to such “eyeand—nose-sores” as the fifth floor lavatory. If no other solution is available, perhaps the senior class might be talked into presenting the school with sev- eral “old fashioned out houses,” which at least would have enough ventilation to insure a comparatively pleasing atmosphere. . Beurdelev l. Kor- ”e 1.. Norlms. r. R. 3. Burmnn avin, IL A. Winblnd .u or . Erisman, No. 14 P. R. Schultz, Jr. A. T. S. A. Elections When the small number of votes by which Vandekieft defeated Kruse in the recent A. T. S. A. election for the initiation fees are given by “Sting a number 01' l position of first vice-president is considered, it seems that expenses among which are included the cost of the key, shingle, initiation banquet, honorary banquet, hono~ary dance, fraternity news sheet, pictures in the Cycle and miscellaneous expenses. Some of the current expenses cut. If necessary, affairs such as the honorary banquet could be made optional and not be in- cluded in the initiation fee. In fraternity initiation fees should be set at a mini-l Wternity Notes I Social Highlights Despite the last two weeks of work in preparation for finals, social events are still dominating: the calen— dar of the fraternities. Last Friday evening the Delts inaugurated the first “Fathers Night,” and it was real- ly a huge success. Dinner speakers were Dean Hcald and Professors Car. pcnter, Iluntly, and Sprauuc. Mo‘ tion pictures were shown of the Jun- ior Week at vitics, and all enjoyed a gay songt'est directed by “Sail- orman” McIntyre. All credit. for the evening is due to Chairman Bill Yeager. On this same evening, many of the other houses also celebrated. The Phi Kapps reveled at their annual senior farewell dinner dance in the Drake Gold Coast Room. Triangle had a radio dance. Sigma Alpha. Mu star- ;zazed on the long awaited nautical party aboard Mashman‘s boat— Eleven couples were present and cruised along the north shore. Sat- urday night, the Rho Delts had their annual dinner dance at the Holden- Stratfm'd. On Sunday, Theta Xi picnicked at the Indiana Dunes State Park, while Phi Knppa Sigma had the annual spring: outing: at Beverly Falls. On June 12, the Phi Pi’s will adios their senior members at Dick Vandekicft’s home in Villa Park. On June 12, the T. X senior farewell will hold forth at Richard Ansel’s home in Oak Park. The Pi Kapps have completed plans for their senior farewell to be held at the house. Pi Kappa Phi Elects Pi Kappa Phi announces the elec- tion of the following officers for the coming year: Harry Pcrlet, presi- dent; Torn Speer, secretary; Frank llcidenrcich, treasurer; Roy Brink— man, chaplain; Roy Burman, ser- ucant-al-arms, and John Gerhardt, historian. Sigma Alpha Mu announces the formal initiation of J. P. Krumbein, ChE. ’38; R. S. Cohen, ME. ’40; A. Levenberg', Chill. "39, and R. Abram- son, ME. ’40. Triangle announces the pledging of John Swanson co—op ’41. Endings Rho Delt Bob Levy has received a fellowship at the Institute. The Phi ' Pi‘s defeated the Pi Kappa in golf two matches to one. Mulraney and Giovnn, TX brothers. visited their U. there should be a run-oil election. Now, the A. T. S. A. is planning to amend the consti- tution and require a majority vote for election to office. Since there is no specific clause in the A. T. S, A. consti- tution stating the number of votes necessary for election, why not apply the majority principle to this election and have a runoff? can certainly be All class elections are run on a majority basis. Why not round numbers, ,the leading student organization? Irving Seidenberg. , Math Handbook vs. Box Lunch, or How to Spend Twentyuiyive fleets scale slip slick that ever scratched By Zozu i an engineer's noggin." ; “Step right up, gentlemen, step 1 right up and see the mathematical “HOW about a demonstration, Mis- marvel of this day and age and it’s l tor?” 511111505“de “Albumen" Musin, an in this little book." “Gorsh,” who has had a most extensive and gunned an eaggr Fresh. “Pooey,” prolonged course in analytics. l taunted a calca’idden Soph, “Yessir, “Quiet, stooge," muttered the erst— lboys, this little book will absolute- while book salesman, “and to con- l{ lcey and uncovidish—nn~alley solve tinue, boys, this here little book isn’t l l l l any problem in higher mathematics all you get for the shiny little two- (luit‘kem’ .vm: can say Alexis Troyo- bit fee I am charging: today as an ViCh Sehnerbetsky. Arithmetic, Hill'c- introductory price, no sirec, I also bra, gomertree, long division, addil- give to you a complete unrevised and : shun, and 3'95, it even exposes the uncxpurg‘ated copy of the 1937 Stick- , intricacies of the most difficult four- ney, 111., street guide . . .” “How i about a demonstration, Teller?" de- F3 mandcd “No Tax" Krumbcin, vision- . 9’ Other Campuses .‘ ing‘ the chance of adding profit to his " wholesale hook agency. _ ”Well, okay, Buddy. You ast for of a ”ladies only" dance to be held it," murmured the ganja, soul. “You at M”“”‘"” Sim" C°neg°‘ The 3M” boys will all have to find the area of The “Spinslers' Skip” is the name swing and sway amid the colorful book it’s a cinch. Take a four—irch Wiring °‘ a meal 6'1““ ‘circle, f’rexample. You multiply lour “ ” ,by three, divide by 6.597 add 1, sub- tract 11, integrated between lemons or limits or whatever you callem, mul~ tipiy by 294 and then look up the ; table in the hook.” ”Whats’ the an- l swcr'l" piped up a well meaning se- l ‘ ,nior. “And now, boys,” continued 1 lour hero, “I’ll Show you how to add. l l Smoking in moderation might have , a beneficial cffecl, says Dr. Arthur [ flinz, professor of chemistry at the l (g ircrsily of Berlin. Commute, (L derivative of tobacco nicotine stimw Inim- ihr heart. l 1; e A new way to kill time has been “Take 5 and 3 and 621 and 756. Now invented by students at Northern n‘lyou add with my speshul system. llmms State Teachers Lollege. They Lesee, six~one-three makes ileVen’ l draw a circle representing a clock carry dcr two—«hum—seven carry 1 and hands. At five minute intervals one—er——the answer gentlemen-.— l they ink out the sections around the , l ’ l dial At the end of the hour it is Where S the dam" "“5 I keep’"_ ‘ ' the answer is—1234. What? Am I completely fillef. [wrong‘l Oh, the answer is, my you, I what the heck’s the answer anyhow? Add it up on that slide-rule. You see this book never fails. If you get stuck, it always tells you how to do it on a slide—rule, right here on the llaSlS page, ‘page two!” “Ya know what I think," confided a Frosh to _ , yhis pal, “maybe he’s a ‘fake.’ ” An anonymous contribution from Adrian t‘ollege: “Going around with women keeps me young. I started g‘o- , ing with them four years ago when ‘ I was a freshman—and I’m still a freshman.” * When lessons, meetings, plays and uulside activities pile up on the cal- endars of the girls at Stephens Col- lege, the president calls a ”Stop day," 24 hours during which students can do what they please. a e at “New, boys, I’ll show you how to find the area of a square but—I must have your undivided attention. Very difl'cult “At this point a junior sentinel standing on the corner of 33rd and Federal shouted forth, T of C. chapter last week. i has been blushing; since last Wede box-lunches.” nesday. Triangle John Penn will soon “You take a—here, where’r you ‘ be working with the U. S. Gypsum going? Say, what’s that guy got that lcompany and Nat Kendall goes to I haven’t got? Boxdunches, hm—e ’ work in California. there's an idea,” holding a senior farewell party. Now, if the will don their most elusive fincry and a circle someday. NOW with my little ' Student Slipstick Jrl'ltor’s Note: The “Slipsticlc” was written this wcclc by a. student who claims the column is slightly decomposed. It is submitted for your approvalL—or what have you? BAKER'S DAUGHTER My Sweet Tart: You’re wali‘le cute, and you’re roll the world to me. As the sun rises in the yeast and makes bismarks on my bed— room wull, I think of you, my angel face. I‘m a well~bread young fellow and that’s a good raisin why you should marry me when I get; enough dough raised. Be my better half, and everything will pan out all right. Icing your praises all day and night, bakecause I loaf you as I sit here kneeding your kind affection. Donut rel'use me, honey bun, or you’re cruller than I think you are. I deserve a little oven, for you’re the flour of my eggistcnce. This is a very awful letter, my sugarait took me u whole-wheat to write it. But: if you don’t marry me soon, I shall become a bun, and I E’clare, that would be terrible. I sure must be a elutcn for punishment, because the way you roll it out just cats me. Let this be “an revoir" and not “good pie.” Your own Cream Puff. THAT’ 5 MY DAD 'Whose clog: is that? That's my pup. Wllose's cow feed is that? That’s my fodder. Who made that noise? That's my pop. Ill/hose hand is that? That’s my paw. Whom Cola-Cola is that? That's my pop. Whose body is that? That’s my dead. VVlIoso popcorn machine is that? That's my popper. Ill/hone long distance call is that? That's my further. It e =l= It was a, While Fish trunk and the noisy motor lcfl, the driver hard (1/ hrrriiig. is 9a Mark to Jim's parachute song: “It don’t mean a thing, if you don’t pull that string.” u: x: v21 lFrom all latest reports, beer we.» mode in the Ark. The Kangaroo went: in with hops, and the Bear was brain. m a. an lBerl: “Say, why do you call your girl post-script, Jim?” Jim: “Her name is Adeline." 2‘ XIX 4% Thin Slip-Stick is dedicated." to Air- pltmc Jim, who for three short years has flown, with us and is new bailing out for Columbia. Best of luck, from one Punncr to another. Barney Google. With one more column to go after this one, the news that filters in has a note of finality as far as awards are concerned. Since cash and med— als always come first we have— Schmaltz won the First Medal A. I. A. award, Kichavcn the Second Medal, and Saletta won the Medal. The fellows who are now in the money are—~Johanson, a junior, Alschuler Prize of $25.00; Osicrman, a sophomore, Alschuler Prize of $25.00, and Robinson, a freshman, Adler Prize of $50.00. The Class B fellows are, for the most part, fccling low excepting GOERS, HUBOI, JAKE, KL]?- HARDT and PARKE. They mammcd to collect a. Mention apiece out of the new strangely mcage 7‘ Armour awards. The seniors rated again on on, Eqnissqum'ssc with. Hroehmz- sky, Lolzmiller, and Price, rating Half Mentions. I’ll-ilk 8 , heat and the finals coming on, the rush mung. Stomningly yours, ART UM. The Slipstiek Cleave to the slipstick; let. the slapstick fly where it may. WWW. Street Scene There they were, the sweet young thing and shy, oh so shy young swnin. Coyly she gushed: “Nobody loves me and my hands are cold." And what do you think he said? “God loves you and you can sit on your hands.” «is. M minim. xii ’l: Dear Readers, we give you The Eachelor’s Prayer Dear Lord, I wish you'd get this straight: I know I cooked you for a date For Saturday, but what I meant Was anyone but the gel you sent ‘ll Ii ill And now, u POME. I Was a. car In the lane. Was a mom Was a jam. Was a. moon. Was motor Wow romance In the our. Wow or arm Went around. Were two lips To be found. Was a kiss Wm; a sigh. And another By and by. II Was a car In the lame. Was a 7mm Won u jam. Was a mom Growing bold. Hutchinson ‘ Wm: 00 jemc Growing cold. Was a mom Was on goof Wile (ll jimc Was aloof. Was a men Put in place. Was a jtmc Slu/ppcd his face. in u r- Quit holding your nose. You’ll need both hands to steady yourself for the next; gag. The dinner party was over. The men had all eaten heartily and ex— pensivcly. At the corner at the table the lone Scotchman tried to make himself inconspicuous when the check arrived. Suddenly, to overyono’s sur- prise, he spoke up: “Just leave the check for me. I’ll take care of it." They obeyed. Item in the next morning’s news- paper: “Scotchman M u r d e rs Ventrilo» quist.” 2? $4 is Still with me? Well, as a reward, the next feature will be excerpts from the “Armour Big; Abridged Dictiom cry." Cartoon—~A thing cigarettes come In. CobblentoneawA pavement that people would rather was asphalt than. Cream-~—Something that breakfast food don’t taste so good without it, but you use it when you go to use milk and haven't got any. Door Knob—~A thing a revolving door goes around without. Fem—A plant that you are sup~ posed to water once a day. If you don’t it dies, and if you do it does - anyway, but not so soon. ,,._ The seven ages of o. womanwthe infant, the little girl, the miss. the young woman, the young woman, the young woman, the young woman. 9/ $ ’1‘ Forever yours, if and when you catch. me. Pythagoras. After dinner ntoriar are a spa» cialty of Jacob G. Lipmun, dean of the agricultural college at Rutgers University. In one he gave re:- cently in New York, he rat-defined persons connected with higher edu‘ cation: “A professor w Casts pearls before renal swine. A dean-«Not smart enough to be (A professor but too smart to he a, college president. 3 A president—Not gooci enough iof be a professor but too good to be 5: ‘1 clean. L An zxiximuuo~0ne who holds the: president and insult}: responsible tor , the success of {be footimii team. imitation A trusteewflno who has eight- mnres about. endowments." "Tuesday, May 23, Willi Harvey Ruthenbere gave a most instructive spiel in “llow a Flying Buttress Stays Aloft” during l’rol‘. Home's morning "Strength Gloss,” He will next exploit: how to use a worm gear for hair. ‘l- if- it Prof. Wolfe has finally found a way to quiet his unruly mob of Schmlurs in the onouton juice class. The first; one to open his trap nets slugucd with a yard stick. He’d use the “Dunes. in the Corner System” but alas, the room has only four corners. 1h ill to (flinch “Motorboht” Modovaolm cloimu ho [ind a swell Elmo M the jun- iosr dance, but sold the liner was no slippery he just couldn't dance. ‘i‘oa bad, Chuck, we’ll get some mud nout "MIG. ll! Iii It: Gene Imbur strode proudly to the front of the senior industrial Studios class. To read his student speech. He opened his mouth, but; nothing came out; he couldn't read his own xvi-ti.- hug. til it! lit H. 0. i3. couldn't be ntoppo‘l last Friday nightm‘fll have to hurry to the printers,” In) liltltl. tit W ‘14 Maybe the lroch lont the ruuh but they were organized to wit. a curd sent to one Hurry iT’runtinnmlz Mouse report to me 111; Armour Square, 1:00 o’clock, Friday, no till to receive further instructions concern- ing the mph. 1 will be wearing u No. 9 on my arm. A. Follow ll‘ronhrnun. We wonder if llurry didn't report to No. 39 by mistake. >51 :4: Ileidmunn and Brown, thorn: worn during juicer“, went till a picnic with their :I'cllow A..I.E,E.’n. it moms that they ended up in a Igli'lu' outing; while their brothers continued on. The l'cmmcn all touts-ht own: the boys and decided to loss a coin tor them. Two brunettes were awarded the "boom nuiln.” The poor tidings lost; the term. it m l: Entrepreneur 'l‘om Cunnltmlmni.. who studied architecture m; u filth), lino, returned limit it weekend trip to New York yosterr’lnymbicpcnmm port» ly paid by Junior llirdmun of Amer-v ion. This organimtlon sponsored u membership drive contest in which each new member pays ton month for the Junior Bitumen when; and mom hership card. A few weeks one 3th) of those listed in tho Ammmr dime» tory were surprised to llnd themselves lull-fledged members. Since this trip cost, Tum only fifteen doliom, ho is saving, up for a trip to lilvmisiton next month. ; lilttiililttlitfidilii EUTE‘IANASIA Sllilinil. claim pun/Md Ilumlllg/ of earth Framing, lwapml about: [W inhalant: 04mg. Six feel olmllnw to bar profound 1/71):le Ami. 'lflO’lll/l't‘l'l'lf/ brain with nutrition; for ram-19m. The battery in dead, .. , Electrons dew no more. From these corroded wires A hundred relays clicked. A hundred memo: hemmed. .. . film battery is dead. By these corroded wires A thousand lights. were lit. A thousand signals: harmed. . .itnd sparks. . .‘l‘hc hala‘ery is: {loin}, . .The current is mind on". The host and power .The relays: choked with (l . .The in; sit “on dirt. , [Fins lien»: are cold and o ..’i’he si‘gnais bionic. _ T5247 Ev ”end sparks are still. . . .The better? 7. ills}: now: they .6”? or. s, 1%" WA g; m: Whig; «(mist the," be?