Page Two Armour Tech Student Publication of ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year [936 Member Disocinled Colonials Press . . W... $2.00 Per Year 7 ______________________.___._————————__.____... EDITORIAL BOA RD Copy Editor . Business Manager . Faculty Adviser Desk Editor Make-up Editor . Assistant Sports Editor Assignment Editors Feature Editor Columnists .. Literary Editor Assistant Com! C. W. Rich, us . . . . Rodkin, T. W. uklc ,. ...L. Buin, R. Bur Johnson. J. D. Keane. P. News Reporter»; .. G. Frost. H. N. L. Levine, J I’. Szindusky, S. S. Silvermun. Sports Writers W. P -_____'_________._____.__———-— BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager . Advertising Assistants Circulation Manager Circulation Assistants R. S. Kohn. H. P. Kusutzlcy. R K. Smit . Single Copies, 10 Cents Each . H. Bodnnr, A. R. George, tusek, W. E. Erickson. Meyer. R. J. Morrison, N. Natinehek. R. Perry. .. . . T. Clerk, II. Coylc. G. Morris, L. Norkus. . O‘Brien, C. Swiinlmwnki. E. Worcester. R. Worcester. ARMOUR TECH NEWS “Engineers Hop." Junior Week saw them lose a tough softball championship and the rush. Raised to sophistication in their sophomore year, the class of ’38 elected its officers. H. J. Bodnar was president. At the giving end in the green cap battle, they showed their mettle. They successfully defended the championships in has— ketball and track won in their freshmen year. On March 13, they held the “Sophomore Cotillion" at the Lake Shore Athletic Club. In Junior Week, they came through to overwhelm the fresh in the rush. With Bill Chelgren president, the past school year has seen them return the basketball cham— pionship to competition and come through in glor- ious style to win the interclass baseball and track events. Their Junior Formal at the Drake Hotel initiated the school to something different. Keep it up ’38. News the l°37 An Incomplete View Marvels of science and engineering are me sented for Armour’s visitors each year as the school holds open house. Many students sacri- fice a large amount of their time and energy to made the event possible—time that is scarce S,,,,;;j§§fij,‘,’,‘§f,‘,§‘,§3 at the end of the semester, especially for the Illirisrhzfir type of student who gives his loyal support to presenting the work at Armour to its friends. Koaovskl. C. Kovacik, Vol. XIX. MAY 10. 1937 No 12 He is always active in school affairs. Class of ’38 On September 24, 1934, 212 hopefuls entered Armour Tech and assumed the title “class of ’38.“ Class politics received its inauguration when the freshman class elected its officers—C. W. Dun- bar, president; H. J. Bodnar, vice-president; C'l H. Preismeyer, secretary; J. C. urer; S. E. Healy, social chairman. Open House exhibits must necessarily be tangible, and for this reason a full picture of work at Armour can not be given. A large pro— portion of the student’s daily school life involves school spirit and participation in the extra-curri- cular affairs, which can scarcely be put into a glass case and shown to visitors. As much a part of a technical college as engiu Lindahl, treas- l peering training is learning how to live in a bet— lter way. Living and cooperating with our fel— Intramural athletics came next when afterdows in affairs of common interest gives us as dropping a baseball game, the class of ’38 won the coveted interclass baseball championship. in track they showed added strength by taking the interclass meet. Leading into social life. on Washington‘s birth- , could show our guests even much real value as the more practical engineer— ing training. All this is not intended to belittle the work of the students; they are to be congratulated on the exceptional exhibits, but we can still wish we more about our day the freshmen and sophomores presented the l school as it actually is. Monday, May it), l937 The Slipstieh Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. Welcome, friends of Armour, to the humor column! We thought it best to let you know—there should be no se- crets between us. Our beast is that we possess the finest collection of slightly mildcwed jokes ever gloatcd over by any college columnist. So, besides evoking a laugh on one, we may be able to stir up some fond memories. Alle’. oopl .1. Lights . . . laboratories . . . people . . many people . . . Mother . . . Dull . . lostnluber shining, foaming . . . . . . spur/cs crackling . . . sister . . . brother . . professors . . . dimming . . . music . . . Peggy . . . people . . . Radio . . . motors . . . plans . talking . . . Words . . . drivers . oscillators . . . Students work- ing . . . working . . war-ml!!! It‘s Open House Nile Tonifr! ’1: iii =1 “Did you know that Berger is em- ployed as an auctioneer during the summertime? He drives an awful bargain!" And Mamie agrees. “And how! I was Iiding in it last night.” They tell us that the golddiggcr’s ambition is always to look neat, and trim. ’lX 91: ill “I heard you gave a bii.r dinner at your house Saturday.” “Yes, I served soup to nuts." “Oh, you had Zazu and Morphine over?” .1. .1. .-. “So this is the Woman’s Club The- atre where you made your first ap- pearance as an actor, eh Nick?” “Yup, eggs mark the spot." II1 :k "A The war; some women get rid of their lzunlmnds is simply killing." Prof. (at entrance exam): “How much does; a twelve—pound mackerel weigh? Precocious air." Prat: “Well, then, what time does the ten o‘clock train leave? Sumo Frnsh: “Ten o'clock." Praia "Then how much does a twelve pound mackerel weigh?" Frosh : “Don’t know, 1 l l I May Day came on the fourth in- l stead of the first for the architects l because that was the day that the little red marks were put on their l plates. Since there were many I judgments this week the award no— 1, tices will be squeezed in somehow, l leaving space, I hope, for some in- 1 teresting sidelights. Goers, lwasa, Klipharrll and Jake I received First Mentions on their Cinema Lobby designs. Wagner got l a First Mention in Freehand, and 1 when the letter from the Beaux Arts I came on Thursday, Moseley had a l Half-Mention on his Esquissc- Esquiesse and Slcuhic a Mention. Since the school has received more awards this last year than it has for many years, the fellows are all feeling very high. After the last Class B plates were furiwd in the fellows 1'11, Ihe Soph drafting room went on a small tem- ouf in, file Durws. They all returned sufv and sound excepting OSTER- MAN, who came buck slightly damp l from, an excursion into the water with X his clothes 011. Outer“ in the Jmllm‘l room. CUNNINGHAM and LITWIN l (‘t’lClJl‘flU‘ll by having a Japanese dim | ilb’)‘ of sulcigulci. Scrcrul hours later CIH'Ininglmm wished that he had 07'- (lcrcd (I hambm'gcr. He was on the cighfl: floor or the iimc. Figure the , rest out for yourself, because if I‘ wrote it, it would be censored. l Iwasa of Waikiki is holding a house I party for his fellow-inembers in the l Junior class, that is, if they all can I fit into his one-room apartment. It l has been rumored around that Iwasa I would like to try sailing an outrig- l per canoe on Lake Michigan. It} certainly would be an interesting 3 thing to try. Last minute flashes: Cerovski won l l well formal will be held at the Drake Silver Forest on May 2]. Sigma Alpha Mu has completed arrange- ments for the yacht party on the “Columbia” next week; Joe Mashman, the sailor man, is in charge of the arrangements for the affair. The annual T X picnic will be held at the Indiana Dunes on May 30 or June '7. Art Dreis, Theta Xi social chairman, has also completed plans for their splash party at the Lawson “Y" during the week of May 23. M...“ l Fraternity Notes Once again Junior Week is with us and the Greekmen are ready for ac. tion. Tuesday night the annual fra‘ ternity open house is the headlining feature. All houses are holding dances and an open invitation is extended to the entire student body to bring their dates and have a gala evening. Wednesday is the "double header" with both the track meet and the sing on the schedule, and on Friday thel annual Circus Day skits will help to ring down the curtain on a glorious their fil'St baseball game and Theta week. Xi 19-0 in their second, the Rho Theta x, Elecgs Delts have high hopes l'or the champ- Theta Xi announces the election of ionship. Stellar hurling by Sam Tara- the following officers: G. M. Ives, dash was the feature of the encounter. president; R. N. Ansel, vice-presi— The Phi Pi’s lost a heartbreaker to dent; R. W. Young, treasurer; A. C. the Bolts last Thursday. At present Giovan, con-esponding secretary; .I. all houses are limbering up “films ,_ G. Sodaro, house chairman; and racquets and golf clubs mpreparation G. M. Amory, assistant house chair- for the fraternity tournaments. man. “The Armour Rathskellar” is the Baseball Tourney Underway After sinking Triangle 9 to 1 in 1 House visitors; hi ho New Sigma Alpha Mu initiates are M. V. Kahn, Ch.E., ’40; R. S. Kohn, ME. ’40; J. P. Krumbein, Ch.E. ’38; and A. Levenberg, Ch.E. ‘39. Rho Delis announce the pledging of two new men. They are Sam Spencer, . Ch.E., ’39, and Judie Zahlen, Co-op] ’42. ‘ Many Social Events Planned Social events are crowding the calendar for the rest of the year. The Delt‘s Mother’s Club meeting on May 2 was the most successful of the year; a musical program and refresh— ments concluded the business meet- ing. Last Thursday night, the Delt’s put on the Annual Founders’ Day Alumni party. The Phi Pi Mother’sl Club met at the house last Friday.‘ The Phi Kapp annual senior fare» , _—-»———.—_.._——————-——-— l M the First Scarab Prize and Fox the ‘ Second Prize. Congratulations to‘ these two freshmen. . . . Wilkinsonl lost ten of his one hundred and sev— l enty pounds and is now just a shadow » of his former self. Farewell to the ‘, Arx and a greeting to the Open\ ART GUM. I 1 title of Triangle’s Circus Day stunt; it sounds great. George Ives is direct- ing the TX songsters, and Joe Sodaro has charge of the stunt. Two new trophies have been added on the Phi Pi Mantel—«bowling and basketball are the latest. Sigma Alpha Mu sent Al Schricber and IIv Schlifke on a visit to their chapter at the University of Michigan last week. Did You Know? Bob Levy has the Rho Delt pledges working hard on a house cleaning program in preparation for their open house. All other houses are do« ing likewise. Pi Kapp Burman may be in cold storage before the week is over, if the fresh have anything to say about Some of the Triangle brothers have presented a queer odor since the inv spection trip to the Armour Fertilizer I’Vorks. The alcohol room in the re- search laboratories was a n o t h e r great attraction. Johnny Penn gets a great deal out of the dinners on ten- nis team trips. (Perhaps the word is meal, instead). Ten Fronh: “0h, now I know. pounds, IIir." DAWN IN A DORMITORY 7:00 A. M. in Spring fly? up?" “Yup!" [The Steam Shovel J Absent-minded professor like those about mother-in~laws, have their foundations firmly fastened in the pure white marble of truth»- slig‘htly reinforced, of course. While rushing up to the board to clean up a point during Velvcl'n lecture, Prof. £31,351 B. 8;. Fraud ran smack—dab into a five—foot. ring-stand and apologized to it! He thought it was Velvell a a II- “Bill” Luise. newly initiated mem- ber of Sphinx, can’t even spell the word. In writing out a receipt for the Cycle, he laboriously spelled it— Shpinx. Honorary Literary . . . tsk, tskl ".i 9i: ’l: 1. O U l S “Tmeha/cec” LOGULw LO, on a compulsory hunger-strike since Pete Winal’s party last Satur- day, swears he’ll never pick up those da'r'lcacpcd cubes again. “Two shakes, and it casl me forty cents!” moans Louis. “Na lunch until I make up the deficit.” The reason. the bare~lcgged fool irks the hosiery manufactm‘crs is simply the fact. they’re not livl’nr/ off the fad of NW. lcmd. YA 11: “Can’t you see that sign, ‘No Smok— ing‘?" “Sure, it’s plain enough, but there are so many other dippy signs here. One says, ‘Woar Viso~0n Corsetsl’ So I ain't paying any attention to any of them!" 3'5 ll: 1!) “Say, Zazu, can I touch you for a dollar?” “What do you think I am? I have to earn my money by my wits." “Well, let’s have a half a buck then." a: w Newlywed: I married a. girl with a twin. sister. - ' .Buchelor: How do you tell them apart? Newlywed: I don’t bother; the othernnc has to watch out for her- self. a 111 .1. With madness in our hearts We buried Sammy O'Day. He tried to live the life of Reilly While Reilly was away. '4: r ’1‘ So until the next time we meet again, G‘bpe, Eejay. l 1 s 1 l l l l Around Washington By Marvin, Con: A.C.P. Correspondent Washington, D. C.~«A National Academy of Public affairs to train young men and women for diplomatic and administrative service in the government as West Point and An- napolis trains officers for the army and navy is proposed in a hill intro- duced by Representative Disney of Oklahoma. ,1. ,« w The advantages of college training again were proved in the capital this week. Two students at Cornell Uni- versity, Russell Brazil] and Gerald Masters, hitch hikedinto Washington Sunday night broke and hungry. They were on route hack to Ithaca from North Carolina, where they had spent their spring vacation. No money and no foodl This was a dis— mal prospect, but due to their col- lege training they surmounted the obstacle. Brazil and Masters walked down to the neighborhood of George Wash- ington University. They spotted a neat residence and presented them- selves at the door. They were col— lege freshmen being put through a fraternity initiation, they told the housewife, and they had been in- structed to obtain from her a couple of ham sandwiches and an apple or two. If they failed on their mission, the boys said, they would be sound: ly paddled when they returned to the chapter house. The boys repeated the procedure with several housewives and left Washington a couple of hours later well fed and carrying sufficient food to last them for several meals. 7b$>h Four out of five, say the ads, have pyorrhea; and the same proportion of Cabinet members have college ed- ucations. Postmaster General Farley and Secretary of War Woodring are the only members of the President’s oii'i~ cial family who failed to receive a college education. Here’s where the various members received their college training: Secretary of State Hull, Cumber- land College, in Tennessee. Treasury Secretary Morgenthau, Cornell. Secretary Swanson of the navy, V. P. I. and the University of Vir- ginia. Attorney General Cumming-s, Yale. Secretary Ickes of the Interior, Chicago. Secretary Wallace, Iowa State. Commerce Secretary Roper, Trin- ity College (now Duke) and National University. SAY, PRINCE ALBERT IS SPECIALL‘I 'I EVENL‘I AND 5LOWL‘I a I l WALRUS-‘l‘USK PIPE SON. 'THEY USED com, SMOKING. THANKS TO THE ‘CRIMD CU'I: IT PACKS AND DRAWS RIGHT ... BURNS JUDGE, 'IHIS NOT NECESSARILV, WALRUS . TUSK EECAUQE IT MAKES A COOL- SMOKING EATED FOR , . , \ * fie» 1. 7“ . PRINCE ALBERT FdfiNEVu IBACM GUARANTEE Smoke 20 fragrant pipefuls of Prince Albert. if you don't find ii: the mellowest, tastiest pipe tobacco you ever smoked, re- turn the pocket tin with the rest of the tobacco in it to us at any time within a month from this date, and we will refund full purchase price, plus post- age. (Signed) R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, Winston- Salem, North Carolina. THEN I CEIZTAINL‘I’ SOMETHING ”TELLS WISH 'THIS PIPE ME YOUVE NEVER 1 OF MINE WERE SMOKED PRINCE AND THE ‘nosrrE’ peocsss Removes ALL. THE HARSHNESS. NATURALLY you GETA MILD, SAVQQY SMOKE AIéBERT IN THAT , ,. . cues. PRINCE ALGERT Is ALL. vou SAY ~— AND THEN SOME!