Page F our by R. W. The University of Alaska is the northernmost college in the world. says the Duke Chronicle, is to count The best way to spot a snap course, north. the footballers in the class! They’ve a ll5-pound boxer at Syrav case that plays football, too, and, * strangely enough, his name is Mul» They ran “5 that a joker recently lins, Moon liliillins.~»Daily Orange. fixed up the pump on the Harvard i 2' :L' The latitude is 64"51’21” (Josh! Tlml's further north than Eivmzslon, isn’l it? a. Campus to deliver be"- His ”’9‘“? The chief of the campus police full" hour Supply 13‘9“”! about a half force of HM Catholic Unioei'slly of hour, and we W°nder if the juk" America,annoyed al the frequent ’H’lfl- “”15““ on him- lotions, has listed the following pew 2': allies: First offense, air will [11’ let out of one tire. . . Scoonol ofl’eiwc, air will he let out . i: 1: From the University Daily Kam- smimAn accidental slip and a fall in the slush yesterday caused one girl to survey her wet clothing and "f (",0 tires. served to bring back memories. Her Third offense, air will IN IN out of remark was “Darn, I feel just like my all tires. baby sister." We can, oer where the old.f¢ishi0ned solid rubber tire is due for a. come- From now on, M.I.T. means “Min- [me/c. nesota Institute of Technology,” as well as “Massachusetts Institute of Technology." Remember this next time you hear of M.I.T. e was 1t m x: A “No Cigarette Bumming League” has been formed on the campus of Louisiana State University. League . fl‘lcnlb’l‘s romised n t to lum ~ be Central News tells us about Eliot ( p 0 . ). H m ,, bummed from. Bummmg of drags Bonnet, hot do salesman at the Uni— . _ , ‘t f (‘aligfmnia Who when his is permitted. It would be touch if a ersi o x " , , .' , , _ , V 'V .' Sllnllfll‘ league were formed here at clothes caught on fire, poured mus— , . . . . Armour. Vie find the tard on himself to extinguuih the _ , bla7e pretty tough as ii is. bu mminu' ill 3i: ill W 3 ’l1 l’rom refor'nmrs oil. the U. of Iii- Tht‘ “Committee 5'0? the Preserva- (limm propose to limil the free bids tion 0f Tradition 3'- Si- Mal'Y'S Uni- to 110, and to pay the Social commit- VGTSlW" proclaimed recently that lee only twenty/lee (lollark each and shaves, hair "“15, baths and any 0th” the ch, ' mm seventy—five, instead of similar marks of civilization would fifty do] be outlawed during exam week. .. J. >l= s: 1. The first requisite of the ideal At a met-ting of the Association oi" romance is security, nearly all of :1 American Universities recmtly, Har— group of women interviewed on the var-d University's President, James University of Kansas Campus have Bryant Conant said. “If a student in decreed. So while young women are America received thrm- hours to con-l still marrying for love, it is love centrale on one subju‘t, he would die}, with a salary. Oh yes? of shock. l r- ll: r; As it is now, he likes to jump from algebra to tap dancing, to l According t0 results 01’ 51 series 01' Cherokee to Choctaw. Our studentsl scientific tests given at Pennsylvania emerge from college with a wonderful E State college, women drivers react smatufing of everything.” An un-l more 5“)le than men in time Of identified professor from the south emergency. sprang to his feet and yelled: “Whyl’ Our football team was playing- yours at Cambridge, and our cheering; sec- tion was calling: your boys ‘damn Yankees,‘ but they quit after the half because they realized no Harvard man had enough history to know what they were talking about.’ ” ri= no , The semester’s most ironical oioryl as stated by the Daily Kansan, ii: of the student who after receiving a "D" in a course- re—enrolled the next semester in an attempt to get a higher mark. He got an “E". - =l’- After a football game at Minne~ % 5 1. 50”, university approximately a ton From the Associated Collegiate of discarded papers, sacks and mag- Press: “A quick witted student in the azines are picked up. bacteriology laboratory at the Univer- . * a sity of Minnesota found a swift solu— Freshmen of the 1940 class at the tion for an unexpected lire. When al University of Mexico may now wear SWdl‘ht’S hair caught 01‘ “1‘0, hi5 Pm: corduroy pants. They were given this out the flame by slamming: a book on privilege recently because of the the fellow’s head.” Wouldn’t thati economy of the practice. burn you up? 1 day. It must be the atmosphere!" ARMOUR TECH NEWS a liar STEAM Sl—lflllEtl ll flammlly WWW ____._____._.._.____ ~ , __l ll’Hli Pl PHI Otto Kuehn was seen passing out cigars at the North Central game. The reason?——a brand new baby girl. Congratulations Otto! The Mothers’ Club held a meeting last Friday afternoon. As usual there was a good attendance. After tipping the waiter after the We have just received word direct- Ncws banquet last Tuesday. BILL 1y from Missouri that Brother Ab- CHELGREN, BOB LIEBMAN: CAL butt is known all over that state as NAUMAN, and BOB and GENE the “Hannibal heart throb.” WORCESTER found that they had At the last meeting the following jUSt enough money left between them officers were elected for the coming to obtain group rates at one of the year: better theatres nearby. They claim they had a gem of a tii‘ne—wthe low- lifers! Meanwhile ED HAROLD, M.E. '3 , ’38, ’39, ’40, and CARL FORSBERG were doing some do— bauching on their own at the Rialto, some half mile north. Claire Dunbarupresident. Lorentz Johansom—vice-president. Edwin Hummer—secretary. Francis Abbott-treasureiz nno DELTA RHO "l" Our splash party which was held Saturday night, February 6, at the Steuben Club, proved to be a huge suct. About twenty—five couples turned out to enjoy a most refreshing and pleasing; swim after which they danced and had a buffet supper. The novel races and games played in the swimmimr pool were a source of much * * * fun. El) WAGNER HAS BEEN MOP— The fellows about the house are lNG MIGHTILY FOR THE PAST now busy preparing for the initiation WEEK, AND IT ISN’T ENTIRELY of the pledges which is only a few DUE TO THE FACT THAT HIS weeks all. This week the house will GIRL NEGLECTED TO SEND HIM play host to the rushees, and a vigor- A VALENTINE IN RETURN FOR ous rushing: season is planned. HIS. ED PUT HIS ALL INTO THAT LAST SHOT WITH NORTH CENTRAL LAST WEEK AND .. . MISSED! AND NOW THERE’S N0 LIVING WITH THE GUY. Ki- 1-)? I: 3h 3} Just another proof that there is absolutely no justice in this. world: Professors Sear and Winston, taking differential equations with Prof. Bibb, passed the course without tale ing' the final exam. And we had to take six...! They probably got an “A" tool SlGlVlA ALPHA MU We take great pleasure in announm ing the pledging: of' HAROLD SALZMAN, M.E. 40 “Van Atta is “Gt quite as SODllisti- Our dinner and theater party held rated as 1. I’ve seen everything." between semesters was a grand suc- modcstly confided Prof. Freud to his cess. “0h Say Can You Sing” prove( sleeping junior (31395- BUL he was to be a great i-eviver of the spirit 1'01- wrong. He had yet to see the comic lowing: the final examinations and an valentine whiCH was to arrive the appropriate finale to a semester’s very next day sent by wc-know-who— work. liut-we—won‘frtellvunless . . . . 1: a 3 “Out at Wisconsin,” reminisces l’rol'. Houuen of the Chemical Engi- neering department, “the atmosphere was clear and the surroundings pim— toral. I like Armour very much but i hate to wash my cars and here I find that l have to wash them every w i w illusll'i' speller Homincft emplaiiis: 'Tlur ‘1” is silent mi in swimming.” ix 0 it Can anyone figure out how come that mouse which was found in the toe of Hank Appcl's shoe over in the Pi Tau rooms was dead? a z: .~ Jake “No-tux” Krumhein demands our apology for that item about his mother not lilting Regina. We otpol~ ogize. It must luwe been his father. Regine “Ai'dmo're 0520" has a core heel. Jolie is mad at her. a n After watching Jack O’Connell play basketball, we don't think that he needs any of Art Wildermuth’s “Odom-s do Sloutre—Housoe” perfume to make him smell. We’re only kid- ding, Jack. Nice goin’l [ autonomous A Chinese Rejection Slip : ILLUSTRIOUS BROTHER OF THE SUN AND MOON: Behold thy servant prostrate be-'} fore thy feet! I kowtow to thee and\ beg that of thy 1:; ' thoul “Em-V0“ grant that I may speak and} When one sits down to write a I‘Vf“ l'hine honored manuscript has 2, column such as this, there is general- deig-ned to cast the light of its august l } . i . ly some wee bit of news, but alas,l countenance upon me. W'th raptures » today there are but a few tiny mots. l I have perused lt' By the bones OE‘ (Pick it out according to your taste, mine ancestors! Never have I en- if any.) , countered such wit, such pathos, such 10m, thought. With fear and tremb- ; We have among us gentlemen, twol ling: I return the Writing". Were I‘silpermen, (bow please) one u cimdcll to publish the treasure thou hast sentl of pure genius and the other a. tower ‘ me the Emperor would order thatl of physmzl prowess, (figzti'alivclyfl, none be published except such thatll'm ul'eliilccfu.r'a,lly speaking). The} equaled it. Knowing literature as I l former is Frank Hi'aohoosky, whoI do, and that it would be impossiblel hauled down one Firs-1 Mention Com- . in ten thousand years to equal What'l mended and two First Mani‘inns in thou hast done, I send thy writingl one judgment for (in all time record.‘ back by guarded servants. g The latter is Al (Imlucky) Ku,bic(l,j Ten thousand times x crave thy who boas-fed that he couldn’t bell pardon. , “prints-ed” and nearly slaughtered low l Behold! My head is at thy feet and} (10) yes, I said fen. man before lzc ‘ I am but dust. ‘ ’IUIIS finally swurim-d over. Anolhoi‘i Thy servant‘s servant, ‘ foul of strength was the lugging of‘ Wang Chin Editor. l a huge piece of limestone almost all‘, ————READERS DIGESTL film way up from the, shipping room, l , and then, like one of those piano mow . taken down stairs again. If some of . the current Art Institute show. One or johns, the darn thing hurl to be the fellows really want a job they could easily qualify as stone-puckere- o/I‘oimders — an - trucks. Incidentally, someone wondered if there was some- thing wrong with the clay. .. Faculty notes: Mr. Krehbiel has one of his oil paintings exhibited in of our water color experts is trying to crash through with two of his paintings in the exhibition which fol~ lows this one. Mr. Hofmeester gave a learned discourse on this and that as a sequel to his final exam. We are very glad to hear that he is on such e‘ood terms with our dear Mr. Ford. Ditto for his new electric toaster. Mr. ,\ Loebl spied one of the arx on at Sat Lil-day night completely enamored by a beautiful (‘1) girl; and in the Em— pire room, no less. Who could Mr. Loebl have seen? He claims he can’t think of his name. Art Gum would like to know because he could use some bribe money. A LITTLE QUIZ; l 1. Who bowled 225? 2. Who puti pepper in whose what? 3. Who said, l quote: “I think Bob Davis is cute?"l 4. Qui dit a tantfit? Ari; Gum. l FORMALW (Continued from page one) lovers. Some continued on to listen to Clyde Lucas and his California Dons in the Gold Coast Room. Dean and Mrs. H. T. Heald and ml. and Mrs. J. J. Schommer from the faculty, were present. This year’s junior formal broke tradition in two ways. The time was changed from the end of Junior Week to the winter season. Instead of" the usual dinner dance, the affair was a table dance with dinner op- tional. About twenty couples ordered dinners at the dance. Stanley E. I—Iealy, social chairman, was assisted by C. W. Dunbar, E. Hanson, C. W. Modersohn, S. M. Osri, G. L. Stober, and I. Thomas. THETA Xl Our dance on Jan. 23, at Thorne Hall on the McKinlock Campus, was a huge success, and we wish to thank the members of Phi Pi Phi, and Del-- ta fraternites for their cooperation by coming to our dance. Plans are now being made by our Social Chairman Mr. Dreis for our annual Hard Times Party to be held on Feb. 27. Our rush committee, under the able leadership of Sodaro and Young are making plans: for several get-to‘ gcthers between the rushch and the members. Any freshmen or new members who have any free time are invited to come up and look around. We are situated on the second floor above the social science office. We wish all the other houses on the campus the best of luck in their rushing. mum THE BOULEVARD CAFE 3100 S, Michigan AVIS. Tel. Victory 9354 Invites You to Try Our Special Half Mill: Fol] Chicken or Sirloin Steak Friflll in Butter with French Fried I’otntoca and Cole Slaw. Rudishos, cui mood and butter for only. . .. c c Other trains are proportion- ately speeded. To maintain schedules under present demands is a Chal- lenge to railway stamina and resourcefulness. It is hearten- ing to observe how capably After 8:0" 1’. M.. Lu IME FLIES, and trains on the Tuesday, February l6, l937 Place New Tables in Fresh Chemistry Lab Have you noticed the improvements in facilities in the freshman chemis- try laboratories? lontractors were hired to tear out the old lab tables and install new tables having a more compact interior and having stone tops. The old wooden floor was torn up and in its place was put a smooth concrete floor. The gas and water supply pipes are more con- veniently situated than were those of the old lockers, waste troughs are deeper and wider, and also are con- structed of stone. The rack upon which the reagent bottles rest are slightly wider than the old racks that were torn out and are so situated that they are out of the way but easy to reach. These new lockers lack the permanent ring stands that the old tables had. Not only did the laboratory see some improvement but the supply room was renovated also. The two small openings in the walls that formerly supplied the students were replaced by a large window, having; a large wide shelf, and another smaller opening. Reporters Needed By Armour Tech News With the withdrawal of the senior members of the News staff and the advancement of sophomore and junior staff members, opening-s have come for freshmen to assume starting posi- tions on the news, feature, sports and business staffs. Freshmen interested should call at the N ews office, 4th entrance, 3rd floor in Chapin Hail. Mary Dilerro Restaurant 3258 l’rinceton Ave. Menu changed daily. Home cook~ ing. Complete steak or chop dinners, 35c. Special 301: dinner railroad fly with it. It is a frequent compliment for watches and clocks to be set according to lthe passage oi the trains. Yet the years are constantly requiring new schedules to , meet the accelerated tempo of modern business. Passengers ' today must measure their miles by their minutes, and freight must travel at what used to be good passiengerhain speed. The Illinois Central’s streamline Green Diamond, for example, makes its daily EBB-mile round~trip between. St. Louis and Chicago in 590 minutes, including stops. The MS—l (Merchandise Special, a freight) reaches Memphis overnight from Chicago, after several stops, covering the 527 miles in 830 minutes. REMEMWEEE . o a To meet new needs in new ways, but with never a sacrifice of ancient virtues—that, I believe, is the greatest achievement to which the railroads can today lay claim. Speed is fine, but it is at its mihaf: challenge is being met. best when backed by the safety, comfort and dependability of railway experience.