l l 1 z Page Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year ' ”a $1631! 432m: Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD ....... Fred L. Leason, Jr. ........ Norton Gerber ..... Joseph M. Kubert ...... Sidney Rabinowitz Editor‘tin-chief ...,. .. Managing; Editor . Sports Editor ..... News Editor Copy Editor ................. Herman O. Bauermeister Business Manager ..................... E. J. Simck Faculty Advisor .................. Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Assignment Editors .................. W. J. Chelgrcn, L. B. Parker, J. D. Shechan Feature Editor ............... R. Weissman Assistants: W. Graf, M. Luber, S. M. Miner, E. J. I’lcva, J. Rae, H. M. Ross. Make-up Assistants ........... R. F. Beardsley, R. Kotal News Reporters ................ L. Bain, H. J. Bodnar, E. G. Cicchanowicz, M. Ephriam, A. George, R. I. Jafi'ee, J. D. Keane, R. Kotal, C. W. Itch, A. N. Schreiber, E. L. Stoll, E, F. Wagner, M. Alexander. Assistant Copy Readers . . . . W. A. Chopin, F. D. Hoffert J. F. Sturgeon, T. W. Yeaklc. Cartoonist ............................ R. Kichavcn Sports Reporters ........................ R. A. Braun, H. R. Coylc, G. F. Morris, C. K. Nauman, D. B. Rodkin, R. E. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ................. I. M. Thomas Circulation Manager .. . .C. 0. Forsberg Business Assistant ............... .. .R. B. Burman Vol. XVIII. OCTOBER 6, 1936 No. 3 Class Government Now that programs have been completed and that class enrollment has ended, extra curricula activities will begin to assume their normal im- portance in student life. Chief among these will be the nomination and election of class officers. The freshman class has already been advised, by their group leaders, to defer their own selec— tion of officers until later in the year. During the coming period of political strife the freshman class may, by observing and study- ing the methods employed by the other classes, gain valuable information with repect to what is desirable and what is undesirable in each system. Supplementing the knowledge thus acquired with their own ideas on the subject, they will un— doubtedly be able to develop a method of class government with its accompanying problems of candidate nomination and officer election which will be truly in keeping with the progressive spirit with which Armour has been imbued dur- ing the past few years. In the past the Armour Tech News has con- tinually waged a campaign against the unscrupu- lous and “steam-rolling” tactics frequently em— ployed by small organized minority groups in order to enhance their own prestige and further their own gains. We will continue this campaign for better class government. The campaign has not been without whole- hearted support from the majority of the stu—l dents. That this support will continue is to be ardently hoped for. The class of 1936, heeding the cry sent forth by the IVeH‘S, responded by establishing a nominat— ing committee, whose purpose was to select upon a basis of merit, attainment, and qualification? several candidates for each office, the officers then being chosen by the usual method of voting with the closed ballot. Though this method does afford numerous opportunities for the practice of “partisan politics" by influencing minorities in the selection of candidates, the students charged with this duty allowed no such action to bcsmirch the reputation of their committee. The class of 1937, not to be outdone by its predecessor, also heeded the “call to arms.” In order to eliminate the regimentation of the vari- ous class departments behind each of several groups of minority sponsored candidates, the class adopted a commission form of government in which each department would be duly repre sented in the administration of class affairs. Flifortunately, this mode of class government did not function as efficiently as was hoped, due, chiefly to the indifferent attitude held by the officers with respect to their duties, and due, per— haps, to the influence which the “old guard” poli— ARMOUR TECH NEWS lticians exercised in the formation, and later, in the administration of the commission plan. All Armour is interested in the outcome of the impending elections, especially that which will be conducted by the freshman class. Will the move for better class government continue to receive ever increasing support, or will it suffer a set back? Who can tell! Drive Safely! , In keeping with the campaign for safe driving which has assumed national proportions, it be- hooves us to admonish some of the student drivers around school. While fast driving is not necessarily dangerous it must be remembered by engineering students that the force of a car in— creases as the square of the speed. In other words it takes just four times as much distance to stop a car going forty miles per hour as it does to stop a car going twenty. In the city, where one has to be prepared to stop at nearly every street intersection it there- fore seems foolish to try to get going forty in as short a space as possible: yet that is just what some of the students are doing. Some drivers seem to get a big kick out of turning a corner and hearing the tires screech on the pave— ment. Not because there is any danger of a car turning: over, but because one never knows what is coming from the other direction, this is very dangerous. Last month, some interesting facts appeared in Colliers, national weekly magazine, which showed through a survey of five companies em— ploying large numbers of drivers, that some drivers are “accident prone." They could, of course, transfer those men to another department but this did not prevent those men from driving their own cars on the public highways thus the public menace was not alleviated. While there is no way of checking up on student drivers, it is the duty of every one to self analyze himself and find out just what—~if anything—45 wrong with his driving. We‘ve heard of a man who put a coffin handle in place of one of the door handles of his car. Anyone who rode in the car remarked that though it was somewhat a gruesome reminder, it had a real effect on both the driver and the occu- pants. Perhaps you who have a you for spec- tacular (?) driving might try it. The real trouble seems to lie in the lack of consideration for the other fellow. Too much faith should not be put in the old phrase"‘right of way." After all the fellow in back or in front might have poor eyesight or be somewhat tight. Much better to let him go past than to take a chance. ’36 Model Criminal When police chiefs of America’s leading cities go into a huddle, you can safely wager that their topics of discussion will be both interesting and educational. One of the meetings of the Inter- national Association of Chiefs of Police brought out the composite “1936 model" of the typical American criminal. He was described as “a lazy, vain, moderately educated city youth whose par- ents have separated; shielding his laziness and an inferiority complex behind a false bravado ‘that leads him into crime; motivated by a desire 3:0 impress ‘the girl friend’ with a flashy appear- ;ance of wealth.” “Engineers" who designed the “model” in~ :cluded such men as Joseph A. Gerk, 35 years a lpolice offiicial, 10 years chief of police at St. lLouis; George G. Henry, chief of police at Balti— more, Md, an omccr for 48 years, and William EJ. Quinn, chief of police at San Francisco. Especially heavy was the brief case of Chief ‘Quinn. Declaring that the age of the modern lfelon ranges from 17-24 years, he illustrated his Lassertion by explaining that the majority of the “3,000 inmates now housed in California’s San lQuentin prison are under 424 years of age. His ldata also showed that 98 per cent of his cases lcome from broken homes. Quinn also was quick to explain Frisco’s lmethod for the prevention of crime among youngsters. “Every officer on the force goes lthrougb our big brother bureau,” he said. “It iworks wonders with tough kids. Crime has de- lcreased markedly since the system was inaugu— rated." Convention of this kind naturally call for con- ;siderable labor and research if they are to be lsuccessful. The reports of Chief Quinn and his {associates point to their interest and honesty in lattempting to make the conference worth while. ‘—(From a column by J. E. O’Brien in the l Indiana Daily Student). ' MW; The Slipstick Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. Tobacco is a dirty wood, It, satisfies no normal need, It makcs you thin, it mulccs you loan, If takes the hair righl 0!} your bcmz, It’s the memo. siufl' I’ve ever own, I LIKE IT!!! ll: 3% >l< HELP! HELP! The SLIPSTICK is conducted by c. j. and ZAZU. Now you can see why we ask for contribs. Howz about it. Let‘s soc what the new freshman humor (‘.’) is like. IF )6! 5:: Studc (translating from Latin): Caesar and his men made several ‘sallies from the town. Second Dope: Tsk, tsk, and him a married man. i: A smart man is one who hasn’t let any woman pin a thing on him since he was a baby. Dunga Ghin. 11: il‘» 5% Freshman — when sending in con- tribs to e. j., don’t get your ideas from DETECTIVE STORIES. His own humor is gruesome enough. Oh, the first kiss is sweet-«— Like a bud, like a wafer; But the last, I repeat, Em. thc last kiss is safer. 7'ch flrct kiss is sweet With an. innocent savor; But the last is like. meal With some salt for its flavor. 0k, with wonder I look”— You no fair, so capricious! Say, whose goose did you cook For a mom so delicious? Egotism 1'3 the anaesthetic nature given to dilation. the pain of being a. fool. fl: * ., “Do you like short skirts, Mike?" “an, dey get lipstick all over me shoil. when 1 dance wit’ dem." Note: No doubt a great many of you freshmen will recognize one of the jokes ('3) in o. j.'s column last week. If you don’t, ask the librarian for the ’29 lilo of the A.T.N. and look at the fifteenth joke in the Slipstick of the May 14 issue. Ketch on? Op. 0. 312. I; so, W'ilty-sisma “Sorry, Prof" my slide rule isn’t working well today on. account of thc dampness." , A.T.N., May 14, ’29. W 3k y]: Mocorint: Gimme five gallons of gasoline. Attendant: Sorry, but we don’t handle gasoline, sir. We got Motor- eue, Mile-aiming High Test Speedi’t, Benzorolino, Green, Blue, Orange Roadzip, and Aviation Petrol. Which 'will it be? 9M it 5* Policeman (to old woman who was knocked down by c. j., (the hit and run fiend): “Did you get his num~ her?" Old woman (feebly): “No, but I’d recognize his laugh anywhere." ll! >17 ’ll If a. woman’s intuition is so wamlcr- ful, why does she risk 30 many ques- tionsll—R. S. F. 914 9h a: The Ladies Anti—Smoking League of Dcwville was holding a great mass meeting. At the speaker’s table stood the speaker for the day, Mrs. Agatha I. Krownem, ugly as an ostrich’s neck, engaged in fiery oratory in an attempt to convince the audience of the sinful influence of the weed. For emphasis, she added, “And I say to you, my dear friends, that when, after three months of persuasion on my part, my husband finally gave up smoking—4 kissed him with joy!!!” Voice from the gallery: “Served him right, the dope!” >l' 4 ll! Physics Prof. says, “What hap- pens when an irresistablc force meets an immovable object?" And Coed replies, “Both women are usually hui .” Ill s.- ME He has great wit, he’s very wise, He writes these gags for all you guys. He’s very modest and he’s shy, V‘ho is it? Why. it’s 1 — and that’s ZAZU. ’l'llli S'l'lillli’i Slllllllll. To all outward appearances, JOE HLOUSEK is as rough and ready a specimen of Armour M. E. manhood as any modern miss could expect. We wonder what his little Nymph would say if she saw the ethereal ballet- dnnce this mechanical—minded Pav— lova was presenting at the (Jo—op Fall Festival, before an appreciative. ~— and paying —~ audience. Is that the week’s issue? 3k>¥ i: TRASH! TRASI-il. . .BII..L O’BRlEN is now the silent partner of the firm Billy and Lilly Ltd. Nevertheless, Bill always manages to get the last word in‘, providing that it is “Yes, My Dear." She only weighs 90 lbs, but the scars on Bill’s face are not from shaving. it a: =ll FLUSH! FLUSH! . . . Cliff “Abo- mclique” Carstonc is a very fortunate individual. He doesn't hm": to buy any new books this yea-r, Lust year’n will be quite sufficient. ~ in an Paul Marlin wmzta his lunch back. Hch lick hch, it’s too late now. Hch hch hchl.’ Next time don’t leave it laying around where the wolimc can gel at it. w x: W vandalism that was mentioned in last b If any of you intellectual renders think this column is not right, why “Let’s go team," yelled the farmer. . 1'; >lV IF in the blue blazes don’t you contrib- ute? Come on, givell Don’t worry it Tuesday, October 6, “936 your item in proper for publication. Send it in, anyway, we’ll take: all the Home. ‘4‘ '9‘ ‘il Profesuor Paul: What kind of ani- mal matter goes into the construc~ tion of buildings?- Curstcno: Human beings. it a); 3. After Bud Adclson went to the movies to see “G‘Men,” he was intent upon joining up with them. Then when he told his father he was going to the movies to see “Bad Girl,” his father locked him up in his room. After all Bud . . . “l4 3P- 95% It’s time for the men at Armour to rise up in protest. It seems that some of the faculty won’t allow the library to got a subscription to Esquire even if the students pay for it. Can this e more “tagimentation,” “radical- ism,’ or “reactionarism” '.' n: a: If: Ken Reynolds and Harry Bliss loy- ally taught all the boys at the Y.M.C.A. summer camp, which they attended as counsellors, the Armour “Fight Song." 2!: :l: >1: Wonder just; why six or seven senior electricals have showed up f0]? Glee Club rehearsals. .1. .. -.. The tables seem to have been turned for HANK APPEL. Up to now his pals ('.’) have had to obtain “dates" for him, now he‘s doing the some for said pals! ‘1: c >1. With all this rushing going on— wlml cl’yu know—someone wanted to ’l'llllll BILL CHAPIN. ll: vll Fl‘ We see by the papers that Pro- lessor Harris in offering a slide rule course. Wonder if his to help the boys “increase the accuracy of their errors?” (A. T. N., first issue.l TEN the class of 1917 was at college, a long distance telephone call took (on the average) more than ten minutes to be put through. This time has been whittled down. gradually, so that now the connection is made in (in average of 1.4 minutes—nine out of ten of them while you hold the line. But this is only one Phase of the relentless effort to improve. Your service is better today because voice transmission is clearcrmintcrmptions and ’ errors less frequent than over before. America demands fast but sure telephone scrvicowaud