Page Two Amour Tech News. Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO. ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year ”4.00 Per Year blngle Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in-chief .... . . . . . . . . . . . . .Fred L. Lcason, Jr. Managing Editor .................... Norton Gerber Sports Editor ...................... Joseph M. Kuberl. News Editor .. . ..... Sidney Rabinowitz Copy Editor ................. Herman O. Baucrmeister Business Manager ..................... E. J. Simek Faculty Adviser .................. Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Assignment Editors .................. W. .l. Chelgren, L. B. Parker, J. D. Shcchan Feature Editor ......................... R. Weissman Assistants.F. I. Heidenreich, M. Lu‘ber, S. M. Miner, B. Nobler, E. .I. Plcvu, H. M. Ross, ’1‘. H. Watts. News Reporters ............. L. Bain, R. l". Beardsley, H. J. Bodnar, E. G. Ciechanowicz, M. Ephraim, A. George, R. I. Jafi'ee, J. D. Keane, R. Kotal, R. N. Lange, C. W. Rob, A. N. Schrieber, E. L. Stall, E. F. Wagner, T. W. Yeakle. Assistant Copy Readers . . . . W. A. Chopin, F. D. Hoil'ert .J. F. Sturgeon Cartoonist ............................ R. Kichaven Sports Reporters ................... R. A. Braun, H. R. Coyle, G. F. Morris, C. K. Nauman, D. B. Rodkin, R. E. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager . ............... I. M. Thomas Circulation Manager . . . .C. O. Forsberg Business Assistant .................... R. B. Burman Vol. XVIII. SEPTEMBER 22, 1936 No. I Views expressed in these columns are not those of any individual writer but represent the consensus of opinion of the editorial board of the Armour Tech News. So You Want to Be an Engineer Did you ever have the ambition of piloting one of those mighty locomotives that thunders past the back fence of Armour? At the risk of break- ing some freshman’s heart we must admit that Armour Tech is not planning to turn him into that kind of an engineer. But now that the men of ‘40 have been welcomed as a class of Armour, they would do well to see just what they are step- ping into. Most of them will not end up as engineers. That surprising fact has been shown in a number of surveys; while engineering students start out by doing engineering work, the records of earlier classes reveal that increasing numbers of engi- neers take over executive positions. This is the reason for the general and business courses which give every curriculum some of the non-technical grounding that enables the young engineer to take his place in the world as an educated person. But there is more to school than studying and there is an opportunity for everyone at Armour to take part in sports, clubs, and the organiza— tions and activities which show what engineering is doing at the present time. So greetings and salutations to all new men and old “Armourites” as we again look forward ARMOUR TECH NEWS to nine months of crowded activities, absorbing work, and some play. Freshman Elections After a week or two of the preliminaries—reg— istration and getting adjusted to the various classes—students will get down to the serious business of studying and electing class officers. This always throws the freshmen into a state of confusion. They are unadjusted and are not acquainted with their classmates so they accept the first method suggested to them and proceed to circulate petitions among themselves. That usually means that one Whose ego is somewhat more than his classmates’ goes about asking ac— quaintances and classmates to Sign his petition. The average new student when thus approached feels important and signs, without much thought. When election day comes along the freshman finds himself voting for someone Whom he never heard of. Later on he feels dissatisfied with things and feels that something was put over on him. To the News, therefore, it seems that it would be greatly to the benefit of the freshmen to postpone any kind of election until February or March, when they can select their leaders with eyes open, through the traditional method just mentioned or by some representative election committee. After all, class officers hold more of an honor- airy position than one of real work except, per— haps, in the senior year. During the first semes— ter of the freshman year there are no dances or parties. Officers are merely so in name until March, which is the usual time for the freshman dance. We are not attempting to “keep down” the freshmen when we suggest that they “learn the ropes" with the help of the green caps which are a big factor in uniting the class and assisting them to meet their classmates and upper class- men, and to forget elections until next semester. Armour—lddO Version! Already the result of the definite plans and ac- complished remodeling has brought a decided physical and mental change about Armour, and what is more important this is expected to continue to improve. Students are coming back this year after their vacations with more enthusiasm, more joviality, and more spirit than ever before. This is because they are not returning to the same old classrooms, and the same old equipment. There is something new and attractive about the school which is be- ginning to look more like a campus. The often too prevailing “tomorrow we will move” attitude on the part of the students, faculty, officers of the institute, and trustees has been, for the most part, replaced by an “improve Armour” frame of mind. The N was has a chance to garner students’ sug— gestions for improvement, some of which may not have come to the attention of those in charge of maintenance. Among these are to sandblast the stone and brick of the main building and Machin- ery Hall, paint or whitewash Mission and Chapin Hall and the other school buildings, obtain and tear down the buildings and landscape the prop- erty on both sides of 33rd street at least to State street so as to provide a more pleasant approach to school. All of these would go far toward en— riching campus activities. wholemeal TO THE NEW students, we wish to introduce the Kaleidoscope. This column is intended to air your ideas concerning poetry, hooks, authors, plays, humor, philosophy (petty or othsrwise) and any other article that w You’ll never stir ’Til judgment day. If your heart’s in love With tradition only You’ll be respected But very lonely. TO A PRETTY LADY I'm lived of it. Tired of it. TIRED, I said. ' . . . Yes, I remember all that, But that was before I saw those pink water lilies Blossoming in the Jackson Park la~ goon. I wonder if Keats had the right idea after all . . . Anyway, I’m alone with you. and don’t B. A. Fox. 3 a might come under the general head— ing of literature. We would like especially to receive original com~ positions of anything from abracadw bra to zanyisms. If the compositions are not original but only pieces you have enjoyed, send them in anyway. Shaka A YOUNG LADY who is now can cealing her candle under the bushell of a small town in Iowa, has written a number of clever verses. It has never been cur pleasure to meet this brilliant person, but we were able tol secure a few of her verses from a friend of hers with whom we are acquainted. Here are a few of her witty observations. They are incisive and slightly tinged with cynicism. £6 9! 1‘ If you only spend When you. have the money You may eat bread But never honey. \ If you only start When you know the way, She hated bleak and wintry things alone. All that was warm and quick she loucd too well, A light, a flame, a heart held tight against her own. Will it be bitter cold for her . . . in hell? B. A. F. $ 8 3? FROM Richard Henry Little’s col- umn, “A Line 0' Type 01' Two", we offer this selection. It is one of a series called “News of The Literary World,” written by Dorothy Kiss— ling, and published several months ago. MR. CARL SANDBURG WEARIE’S OF HIS [MUSE Get out of here, gii'l. Get out, I say, Before I throw you out. Every time I look around I see your cni’vellng face Smeared from forehead to chin with. the moldiest words in the lan— amoe- you forget it. I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes . . . You go crawl into it—see? 4' n ’5 IN A LITTLE book of verses which we own, we were amused to find this following the title page: CONTENTS Turn the pages and see 5h 7? ILLUSTRATIONS Close your eyes and think of the Past, the Present, and anticipate the future. * 3k :9 “To those who passed me on the highway and gave greeting, and whom I shall never meet again; to the possible friends who came my way, and whose eyes lingered as they fell on mine,—may they ever be eager with youth and strong with fellowship; may they ever miss a welcome no!‘ want a comrade.” ANNA STRUNSKY. R. W. Tuesday, September 22. I936 The Slipsticlc Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. Fnlmlty Froliks of 1940 We have great fan in giving marks We give fcw' A's and 3’s; What most of all we love to do Is pasc out D’s and E’s. (Profs and instructors, all to- gether) Oh its all in fun, oh, it’s all in fun, We donl care who gets 'cm but we’re having lots of fun. (Curtain) And so ends our colossal produc- tion, dedicated to the class of 1940. Now you know it all, the cold stark truth. ’9 W * Found on freshman'i: registration card (why Mr. Kelly has gray hair): ‘ Name of parent or guardian —-— Mommy and Daddy. Next week we give you E. J. Don’t fail to clip each and every one of his columns to wrap your lunch in. They‘ll add that cheesy flavor. The trouble with E. J. is his last line. It’s too far from his first. 8 fl ZAZU: (Pounding on E. J.’s head with a hammer): “Knock, knock.” e. j.: “Who is there?" ZAZU: “Little Old Lady." e. j.: “Little Old Lady who?” ..ZAZU: “Oh! When did you learn to yodcl?" ’1 i * Let us drink to the thought that whci'e’ci' a mom rows, Ho is own: to find something that’s blissful and dear; And that when he’s for from the lips that M loves, Ho can always make love to the lips that are near. Thomas Moore. *3 * m DECISION Silvia has Winsome ways; Hoi- smile makes Monday bright. Lou is tops, she sings and plays. To hear her brings delight. er‘tha Lee is widely read, And clever as a quip. Annabella can knock them dead; She shakes a wicked hip. Between these girls, I’m loin apart. I don't Imw which. to choose. W.’ @Ah‘iPU@ lflus owns STATUE cm; lllE maumcupouu HARVAR ND use Aug-mus uncut—m ARE rust ~o OHN HARVARD mo Nor loom . \_.. [ll CDANDFHEITW‘T N E . . ,_ IN use. 1 IS NO ASWUE , was. as“ Willi? W W . _‘_, Viacom “mucous“ 50 FOLD AND . , more» THE ”GREAT TUITlON ls“ l REBELHON 0F IBIS“. ‘70ETIMES lilii‘éitiill‘ldlih WA“ sous bogus» A FEW HARVARD - WEEKS BEFORE. COMMENCEMENT. WAS‘ YOUNG! ' umwsnn l DlNNER' l LB. MEAT. SUPP ~ BREAD AND MILK.I ER topic noun ‘ A FAVORITE Wl FAMOU FOR ”‘5‘ DRINKS ‘ AND STEAK?— HENCE POWER“ HOUSE STEAK?! Which of these shall have my heart? Why, all! How can I lose? R. W. ... ... >14 NOTISS Iii-Li-ingamong the Freshmen will not be tolerated in the Main Lobby. A special play-room will be provided for such purposes in Chopin Hall. '11 o It: Honolriclm “What author is noted for his vocabulary?" Chelgren: “Webster!” VI 01 d1 0h. freshmen, hark to my advice There’s one guy here who’s very nice Ho's smart, he’s cute, in fact, he’s swell. His namc I really hole to tell. But floats ZAZU. and deposits. Hall, Mission. Seniors will enroll as follows: second floor, Main Building. floor, Main Building. Registrar. _ at time of physical examination. floor, Main Building. use elevator. to 6:00 P. M. ing, from w8:30 A. M. to 2 P. M. Information for Students Registration Dnyu: Monday and Tuesday, September 21st and 22nd, 1936, are devoted entirely to registration, enrollment in classes, making out program cards, and such other preliminaries as are neces‘ sary in order to begin the regular work on Wednesday, September 23rd. A charge of $1.00 is made for late registration, ,and a fee of $5.00 is charged students for non-payment in full of tuition, fees Freshmen Awembly: Tuesday, Sept. 22nd, 9:00 A. M., Assembly Freshman Orientation Tests: Tuesday, Sept. 22nd, 10:00 A. My“ 12:30 P. M., 2:00 to 4:30 P. M., 5th Floor, Main Building. Freshmen will meet Senior group leaders at 10:30 A. M., Friday, Sept. 25th, in assigned rooms. Mechanicalu with Professors Huntly and Peebles in Strength of Materials Laboratory, basement of Main Building. Electricals with Professors Nash and Scar in Elec. Lecture Room, (Iivils and Architects with Professors Penn, Stevens, and Spears, in Civil Drafting Room, second floor, Mission Building. Chemicals with Professors. Freud and Van Atta, in Room A, fourth Fire Froceciu with Professor Finnegan, in office, 41 W. 33rd Street. Engineering ScienCc students with Professor Paul, in Chapin Hall. After enrollment, students should pay their fees on the second floor, Main Building, receiving a registration receipt. Enrollment in Classes: The registration receipt must be shown to the instructor as it entitles the student to enter classes. No student 1.2-; allowed to enroll in a class without this receipt. Sophomore stu- dents will enroll for Mathematics, Physics, and Mechanics classes in the Electrical Laboratory, 2nd floor, Main Building; for all other classes with the instructors in their offices. As soon as a student has enrolled in all of his classes. he should make out a permanent program card and leave it, with his class enrollmentcard, at the Office of the Vaccination and Physical Examination: All new students must report to Dr. McNamara for physical examination. Watch bulletin board for appointment. Vaccination certificates are to be presented Library: Students may draw books from the Library by showing their registration receipts to the Librarian. Gymnasium: Hours for exercise and class work are to be ar- ranged with the Instructor in Physical Training, Gymnasium, fifth Check Room: The Check Room is located on main floor of Mis- sion Building, West. Tower entrance. Students are expected to check their hats, overcoats, and umbrellas. Elevator: Juniors and Seniors are the only students allowed to Text Books: Text books and all students’ supplies may be ob- tained in the Students’ Supply Store, Mission Building. Board and Room: Information in regard to board and room may be obtained in the Office of the Registrar. Fountain Lunchroom (and Student Union) basement of the Mission Building, and will be open from 9:00 A. M. Telephone: Public telephones for local and long distance calls are located on the first floor of Main Building. Cashier‘s Office: After September 23rd, all fees and deposits for lockers, keys, tools, laboratories, drawing boards, etc. are to be paid in the Cashier’s Office, northwest corner, second floor, Main Build- Sophomores, Juniors, and is located in the When Louie Jacobs and Bob Ho— men poured twenty 0.6. of alcohol in- to George Pie lLle-i'is ai-unyeade, George was certainly brought to life. He turned in one of his best analyses that day. It just goes to show what “tiger too.” can do for you. Maybe if we too/c some we’d yet out «better column. .x: m .1. Some of the practicaljokers went around spreading alum over wash- buttle mouthpieces in chem. Another prank was substituting .solid glass rods in place of the mouthpieces. Of course John Masin and Carl Deuter wouldn’t know anything about it. 3“ ll= 4‘ During a recent inspection trip through the Institute, the visitors were shown through the chem. labs. The blow—oil came when a young blondc pointed at “Butch” Kubik and then asked the guide, “What kind of an experiment is that?” '1‘ W It One of the laziest men (‘2) at school is B. W. ‘Gamson. It is reportedthat during the summer chem. courses, “Red" set aside a liter (beakcr.- It wasn’t used for any chemistry experi- ment either. It is suggested that Red save this beaker as it will be a useful mascot in “F"—Chemistry. . a a To make sure that they had the same soap samples, Art Wildermuth and Roy Pctro decided to make a test by washing themselves with the soap. After they tossed up to see who would wash, Petra started latheripg‘ his face. It is quite evident that Pete lost the toss. v m :1: Down at civil camp Burdette Peter— son was taught the art of snipe-hunt- ing. Peterson was given a large bag and sent out into the night to catch a few snipe. “Pete” sat rigid in the same spot for about six hours, bag in hand waiting for a bird to run into it. Then came the dawn. #1 t: =k This column would be very interest- ed in knowing what happened to Will Kruse seven times during a late sea~ sou baseball trip. s t. a After drinking up Zazu’s crotch oil, Deuter, Berger and Ryan could be found loitering in the \icinity of the fifth floor. Zazu told them it was pea- nut oil, the villain. However, he was rewarded with a «bucket of hot water. $ ‘3 8 Just as soon as Eng’s platinum crucibles were reported missing, Blow- ie (Prof) Milleviile asked “Duke” Evanofl‘ to return them. “Duke” had to take time out from his hydraulic and try to «rustle them up. warfare games with Stober and Knhle N wwaemmmmwmuww»~m.m