Page Two

Armour Tech News

Student Publication of the
ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY \
l CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
Puluiiuhnd Weekly During the College Year

 

9 sectional” fiollcointc titres?
.gfwif 1mm. m 1935 a.—

bmgle Copies, 10 Cents Eff:
EDITORIAL BOARD
'Editor-in-chiel‘ . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Fred L. Leason. Jr.
Managing Editor ............. Norton Gerber
Sports Editor . .. . . .Joseph M. Kubert
News Editor .......... Sidney Rabinowitz
Copy Editor ............. Herman O. Bauermeister
Faculty Advisor .................. Walter Hendricks

 
  

 

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

Assignment Editors .................. W. J. Chclgren,
L. B. Parker, J. D. Sheehan
Feature Editor ....................... R. Weissman

 

Assistants.F. I. Heidenreich, M. Lu-ber, S. M. Miner,
B. Nobler, E. J. Plcva, H. M. Ross, T. H. Watts.
. . . .R. Mansfield

 

Photographer .......................
Cartoonist ...................... . .R. Kichaven
Sports Reporters ........................ R. A. Braun,

H. R. Coyle, G. F. Mon" , C. K. Nauman, D. B.

Rodkin, R. E. Worcester.

BUSINESS DEPARTMENT

Business Manager ..................... E. J. Simek
Advertising Manager ............. l. M. Thomas
Circulation Manager ................... C. 0. Forsberg

Vol. XVII. APRIL 7, 1936 No. 8

 

 

Veterans of Future Wars

Some sixty campuses now boast chapters of
V, F. W. (Veterans of Future Wars) and Na—
tional Commander Louis J. Gorin Jr. keeps three
secretaries busy sending instructions to new
chapters. The idea originated at a Princeton
University “bull" session where the intention of
establishing a chapter in every college in America
was announced. This dramatic bit of irony is
being approved by nearly all professors and stu-
dents and is increasingly being denounced by
veterans organizations and will probably soon be
denounced by Mr. Hearst.

Declaration of V. F. W.

Excerpts from the declaration on the charter are:

“WHEREAS, it is inevitable that this country will be
engaged in war within the next thirty years, and whereas
it is by all accounts likely that every man of military
age will have a part in the war,

“WE, THEREFORE, demand that the Government
make known its intention to pay . . . a bonus of $1,000.00
to every male citizen between the ages of 18 and 36, pay-
able June 1, 1965 . . . it is customary to pay all bonuses
before due. Therefore we demand immediate cash pay
ment plus three per cent interest, compounded annually
and retroactive from the first of June, 1965, to the first
of June, 2935 . . . many will be killed or Wounded in
the next war, and hence they, the most deserving, will
not otherwise get full benefit of their country's gratitude;

 

 

no less than the men in the coming strife,

“WE, THEREFORE, offer to the American women the
following subsidiary organization, ‘The Home Fire Divi-
sion of the Veterans of Future Wurs.’ . . . The purpose of
this organization shall be to obtain for all aforementioned
mothers an immediate trip to Europe in holy pilgrimage
to view the future battlefields of their present and future
children, and to obtain for the future wives a pension of
fifty dollars per month during the remainder of their
natural life.

“WE REITERATE that the immediacy of our cause is
twofold: (a) inasmuch as the coming war will otherwise
deprive the most deserving bloc of Veterans of Future
Wars of its bonus by causing its sudden and complete
demise, the bonus must be paid now; (b) inasmuch as
the coming war will both obliterate the future battlefields
of our noble future dead and deprive many American
women of their subsequent means of support, the holy
pilgrimage must be made now and the pension to the
Home Fire Division, as a partial compensation for the
inevitable loss, must commence immediately."

(Signed) THE NATIONAL COUNCIL or THE
VETERANS 0F FUTURE WARS.
Why Not Profiteero of Future Wars

“The Association of Future War Propagand—
ists” has been formed and now the government
should, in self-defense, organize the “Millionaires
and Profiteers of Future Wars" and proceed to
tax them sufficient to pay the bonus.

To an engineer, the sudden response of college
students to such a satirical movement appears
caused not by any immediate war threat, but by
a. natural psychological reaction to the vast pano-
rama of the National Political Circus. Vast
American Legion and Business lobbies in Wash-
ington, the national mud-slinging campaign which
has just been started, local and national graft and
personal gain, and the recent farce in New Jer—
sey, aid in affording a sense of futility to the
average college student. Six years of economical
chaos has done its part in undermining the morale
of our generation. It is no wonder that it is dif~
ficult to interest young folks in latent organiza~
tions for purposes outside of their own immediate
problems.

American Legion Worried

The declaration of the V. F. W. mentions only
possible war off the soil of their native United
States. Yet American Legion commanders brand
the movement as started by communistic pro-
fessors. Some claim it is being fostered by the
American Liberty League or League for Social
Justice. We think that anyone with a sense of
humor could point out the fallacy of such argu-
ments and see why it does have such an appeal.

In answer to the “Unpatriotic” cries of “Patri-
otic” organizations, we dare say that any red—
blooded collegiate member of the V. F. W. would
respond to the first call to arms in case of foreign
invasion. Here’s to the future and may all self—

 

“AND WHEREAS, the women of America will suffer

 

 

 

il Fraterwity Notes
TRMNCLE

 

appointed seers be had guessers!

Student Upinion

 

Counter Attack
I thank Mr. MacConncll for his
compliments, but he over—estimates

 

 

Tuesday, April 7, I936

 

      

b
the slapstick fly where it may.
WEEWWW ‘/
Tort:

..ra:»4v x.- . will

    

.- r/ . V
S'm'umwclot, in days of old,

IWo‘rc Armor made of
/ stccl
A n d everywhere I: h i 5

[might did go,
Right noble did he foal.
He was invited into court
To dine with Lady
Hausors.
He spilled some water on
his suit,
And rusted his
trousers.
Two maids by the river
were kneeling,
To dicrobc for a bath they
were stealing.
Said the owl in the tree,
"How’d you. like to be like
me?
When the belles of the vil-
lage are peeling."

best

Retort:

‘l‘ li' 5k
“How much are those collars?”
“Two for a quarter.”
”How much for one?”
“Fifteen cents.”
“Give me the other one."
)l} Ill 9’
Spring, sprung, sprung
Spring is sprung,
Song is sung.
E’llm'l/ dopc’s
Got new hope.

Spring is sprang,
Boo/cs go hang.

Worked your Mot/l?
What a laugh,

Spring is spring

Birds do sing
Spring is haw-c,
Summer’s near.

Legrns.
’li >il ill
For this home,
I’ll go home
Gel 1.4. rope
Hang that dope.
Zazu.

is ll: 44
“I understand that your job as the
human cannonball is very annoy.
intr."
“Yes, I get fired every day.”
it 4‘ l.”-
ME

lln npitc all the threatening lettoru,
That make me feel uneasy;
In spite of the Finger of Scorn,
There's still someone who loves me,
and that's

ZAZU.

 

 

ELEPHONE engineers had to find a way to stop gray

squirrels gnawing holes in the lead sheath of tele-
phone cables. Even a tiny bole may let in moisture ——sbort
circuit the wires—and put a number of telephones out of
service temporarily.

Many idcao were tried, but the squirrels gnawed on.
Finally the cables were painted with, black asphaltum and
sprinkled with sand. The gnawing stopped.

Not a major engineering Problem, to be sure. But thou-
sands of strange little Problems, too, have been solved to
assure you the world’s most reliable telephone service.

 

 

 

 
 

  
 

About the most important of the
recent events are the various judg-
ments that affect the entire depart-
ment. That little thing which affects
individuals is the Sign of the Red
Cross.

We may as well start with fhe
seniors, whose problem was An Au-
tomobile Salon. The judgment of the
mrajcls was very deadly and fatal in
many cases. The top mom-d was a
Mention Commended, given to Art
SCHREIBER «M Joe PFENDT and
mentions were delivered to Chick
SCHREIBER and Ivar VIEHE-
NAESS. Guess the SCHREIBERS
like in keep all the top grades in the
family.

And then the results of the B. A.
Judgment on the Nave of a Church
came in. Once again high hopes
were shattered for only two mentions
were given, to Al RAMP and Joe
REIM. In the Sophomore Water
Color judgment, GOERS, CUNEO,
SKUBIC, and PELZ were rewarded
with mentions for their humble cf-
forts.

Now to get back to earth, or rail-Av
e:- “dirt", as you would call it . . .

 

 

 

The juniors are up in arms and are
very indignant because of the bum
steer given them by ”Mac." Seems
that Mac gave the boys the number
and name all a model, but Hank

LOHMILLER found the error.

The same juniors putaup a notice library to study for it.

Last Wednesday an election of
officers was made for the coming
year. The following major changes
were made: John Penn will succeed
John Scott as president; George Boy—
1311 will be vice-president; and Kurt
Weiss will follow in Penn’s footsteps
as treasurer.

The formal installation will be held
downtown in about two weeks at the
Founder’s Day Banquet. The olTi-
cers elected will assume their duties
at this time.

Pl KAPPA Phil

On the evening of April 3 several
of the active members attended the
monthly meeting of the Chicago
Alumni Chapter at the Stevens Hotel.

The chapter has had the pleasure
of having Brother Alton Jungels ’32
live at the Chapter house for the past
month.
, The first issue of the chapter pub-
lication, Alpha Phi—lee, which is to
be published four times per year, was
released last Monday.
3, Brothers Robert Winblad and Ray
i Dodge were among the leading scor—
ers on the school’s swimming team for
which they received minor letters. We
feel sure that these small letters will
I grow into large ones next year.

With the appointment of Brothers
Frank Heidenreich and Robert Wind
blad a an' of our baseball

 

 

 

     

 

disguised as one of Mr. Suter‘s week-
ly sketches. The program, written
by “Jake,” was a Tombstone for a
Day, and the freshmen went to the
Just shows

to inform the frosh of the neces- how gullible these “green” men are.

sity to wear the green caps.

fresh retaliated by immediately tak-
0, goody l have to add that it, certainly did look

ing‘ the notice down.
goody, a fight!

The I n

with. the
aulamolzilc

senior
we'll

connection

['mch, (m sulml.

[as though KAPLAN and BAGNU—

We'll bet the freshmen are still} 0L0 left their plates 0th ooerm‘tc

“sore” at Jakubowski, who gave
them a fake sketch problem. It was

i wear an. open window.
TOM TAX.

 

 

my literary ability, for it is surely
be who is the erudite one, since his
eloquent phrasings are a little above
my head—that last sentence in his
“correction to end corrections" ca.-
pecially. But perhaps the proof—
rcader left out a word or comma——

accidents will happen, you know.
But I fear that Mr. MacConncll’c
definitions are oncsidcd and there-
fore misleading. He evidently is
quite unaware that the word “au-
thority" means the right to command
or act, as well as: a person appealed
to for support of opinion. Webster,
1 am sure, will be happy to have an
occasional visit by Mr. MacConnell.

Sincerely,
Tom Yeakle, '39.

team, we are getting under way with
enthusiasm.
THETA Xi
The chapter is offering congratula—
tions to Brother James Kropf on his
success in securing a position with
the Westinghouse Electric Company.

 

RHO DELTA RHO

Last Saturday night the second;
semester Pledge Dance was held at
the house. Besides the actives,
pledges, and their girl friends, many
of the alumni were present. Those
present were so pleased with the
dance orchestra that demands have
been made to use this same group
at the next affair.

Arrangements have been prac~
tically completed for the annual
Rho Delta Rho dinner dance. The

date has been set for Saturday night,
April 23; the place probably being
the Belden—Stratford Hotel.

Due to some slip—up last week, we
neglected to mention that Brother
Sydney Miner has been elected
recording secretary.

‘ JUDGE, WHIL

, PIPE IS MADE OF? ITHA‘E A

’M WAITING: F012

, YOUR BEAUTIFUL BUT DILA'roaw
DAUGHTER, WOULD vou TELL ME
JUE'T WHAT THAT MEERSCHAUM

 

MEERSCHAUM, MEAMiNG ”SEA
‘ HVDQOUS SILICA'TE OF MAGNESIUM -MINED
PraiNCIPALw IN ASlA MINOR _ BUT rr’s THE
uicn OLD PRINCE ALBERT YOU SMELL. 1

A LOAD OF lT IN VOHJR PiPE/~(%’\
, / .
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\A/ELL, DO we so

‘ DANCING, OP. Do

i STAY HOME
AND KNIT ?

3 ..;®‘ J

1 ”a '

 

l

 

< .
pipcfulo 05 fra-
grant tobacco in
every a-nunus kin

of Prince Albert

Jugr A MINUTE,CHUBBINS.
I'M BEGINNVNG A LlFE LONG
FRiENDSHiP WITH A
GENTLEMAN NAMED
PRINCE» ALTBER'T.
A LITTLE REVERENCE
% |S lN OEDEFELIJH

MEET llilE l’llll‘ltlE dF l’ii’E lfllillflllils
milleliE AlhElilll

Introduce yourself to Prince Albert
at our risk. Prove to yourself that
- there's no other tobacco like P. A.
As a tobacco fancier, notice how
P. A. ’s “crimp cut” makes for
a longer, cooler smoke. Enjoy
steady pipe-smoking that doesn’t. bite the tongue.
See how evenly Prince Albert cakes in your pipe.
How mellow and fragrant and comforting it is!
Below is our man-to-man offer.

  
      

     
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   

 

    
 

we....ggai..&,§,s.:-@.zz , or

GENWEEMEN M PRENEE EKBER‘F NEW? igllllhtifi ‘i’fltfl
Smoke 20 fragrant pipefuls of Prince Albert. If you don‘t find it the mclfow-v
out, tastiest pipe tobacco you ever flmoltcd, return the pocket tin with the
rest of the tobacco in it to us at any time within a month from this date, and
we will refund in]! purchase price, plus postage.

(Signed) R. J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO COMPANY
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

 

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