Page Four

 

ARMOUR TECH, NEWS

Tuesday, March l7, I936

 

[I msuuoscors

PUNNING, for some reason, finds an important niche in conversa-

tional circles at Armour. In almost
who aspire to the art.
ceives a new threat upon his life.

every gathering there are one or two

After each scintillating stroke, the punster re—

Our amateur humorists can take ex-

ample from Thomas Hood (1799-1845) known for his “Song,r of the Shirt”

and his “Bridge of sighs."

selections from his tragedies.

Among his works he has a number of what
he styles “Pathetic Ballads,” and indeed they are pathetic.
Observe his technique, and the way in

We include

which lie slaps the reader across the face with an odoril‘erous herring
in one stanza, and creeps up behind him and stabs him in the back with

the next:

Ben Battle was a soldier bold,
And used to wor's alarms;

But a connon~boll took afl his lcgs,
So he laid down his arms!

Now as they bore him of the ficlrl,
Said he, “Let others shoot,

For Iicrc 1 leave my second lcg,
And the Forty-second Foot!"

“0, Nelly Gray! 0, Nelly Gray!
Is this your love so warm?

The love that laws a scarlet cool,
Should be more uniform!”

“Before you had those timber 70cc,
Your love I did allow,

But then, you know, you stand upon
Another footing now!"

So round his melancholy neck,
A rope he did cntwine,

AM, for his second time in life,
Enlisted in the Line!

Do you remember this classic verse
from “Faithless Sally Brown?”

His death, which happcn'd in his
birth,

At forty—odd befall;

They want and told the Sexton, mm

The sexton toll’d the bell.

’l‘ I! 3%
0N GRAY‘S “ELEC-Y.”

Thomas Gray's “Elegy in a Coun-
try Churchyard" is credited by many
as being the most perfect poem ever
written. Most certainly it ranks high
in popularity in English poetry. Gray
was by habit a scholar, and feared
what critics might say if he publish~
ed prematurely. According, he spent
eight years upon the composition of
the Elegy, which, though containing
but 128 lines, is one of the most re.
vised and laborious poems ever writ-
ten.

The following are four stanzas of
the “Elegy” which Gray omitted
completely from the published poem.
They have never before, to my knowl-
edge, been published.

These verses are authentic copies
of the original manuscript, brought

Unknown
On bonded knee, with lowered head,
We pause before the unknown dead.

Thcrc lies beneath that grace of
stone,

A lad that's wandered for from
home.

Scores of years have passed away,

But still the secret of that yrarc

Reveals not the lad who lies within,

In quict solitude.

The fruits of victory, the horrors of
war,

Home all been divided amid the roar,
of on unknown dead.

Years have passed and times goes on,
but still wur’s memory lingers

on.

We shall ne’er forget our heroic
brave,

A8 we stand before that unknown
grave.

Bert Griusbach, M. E. '38.
N. B. This poem has been read
over the radio several times, and has
been published in the Midwcsloru
Book of Poetry and Prose.
* $ ’3
Wmngling thoughts jostlc each
Other and crowd through my mind
With “I must do this, and why did I
And will she soon, and this and that,”
And a hundred other daily cares, and
than;
. . . . . A pale blue coil of smoke
ATlSt‘S, soft, worm, soothing, sedu-
tire,
And curls slowly upward, coiling
lndalcntly, then twisting into
Myriad forms, drifts lazily
To the ceiling, with infinite dclibcrulc
Calm, and fading, dissipates,
Vanishing into the nothing whcncc it
came.
E. E., ’38.
fl 11: Ah
“‘5 CLDSlNfi, we wish to thank
Monte MacConnell, Bert Griosbach,
Ralph Faust, and E. E., ’38, for their
contributions. In our next issue we
will include several verses which lack
of space prevented us fmm using
this week.

R. W.

here from England by a friend of ‘ ‘

the family. This manuscript, 1 be-
lieve, is in the possession of a pro-
fessor residing near the church and
Gray’s house.

There scattered off, the earliest of
the year,
31/ hands unseen,
violets found;
The rcdbreast loves
warble there,
And little footsteps lightly print
‘ the ground.

are showers of

to build and

Him have we seen, the green wood
side along,
While o’er the heath wc hicd, our
labours done,
0ft as the woodlork piped her farc-
wcll song,
With wistful cycs pursue the sct~
ting sun.

The thoughtless
may bow,
Exalt the brave and
case,-
But more to Innocence their safety
awe,
Than Power and Genius e’er can-
spircd to bless.

world to majesty

idolize suc»

 

Hark how the sacred

breathes around

Bids every fierce tumultuous pas.
sion cease,

calm that

In still .9le accents whispering
from the ground

A grateful earnest of eternal
pea/cc.

Note that these verses were not
consecutive in the origin-.11 draft of
the poem.

Thomas Gray. Born in Cornhill,
London, Dec. 26, 1716; died at Cam-
bridge, July 24, 1771. Author of
“Elegy in a Country Graveyard,"
“Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton
College," “Ode to Adversity," “Prog—
ress of Poetry,” and “The Bard."—
Stoddard Library.

Monte MacConuull, '38.

 

By special request from Charlie
PFEFFER, we would like to make
amends and rectify a slight ambig»
uity. It seems that Charles is not a
“repeating” Life student, as we
stated recently, but that he just goes
to that class because he likes it so
much. In fact, everyone likes it ex-
cept “Little Minister” JOHNSTONE,
but that doesn’t count. However,
JOE KICHAVEN combined a little
business with pleasure and. received
a mention commended for his
trouble, which was no trouble.

That well-padded, little gnome. Ed
5Cl'll’I/l.l9ll..'l'zs took a beautiful slide
on his ear when his drawing,- board
collapsed under his weight. You see,
Ed cannot bend aver his board; he
must sit on it, and so, Ed's hefty
rotundity was too much for the
drawing board.

Speaking of gnomes, we might add
that Milt KOHN received a Men-
tion on his archeo. The subject was
a Medieval Tapestry.

We shall have to devote a few lines
to the seniors, who are always cut-
ting up in some way. ...Thep have
refined their lungungc to an unrecog-
nizable eat-tent... .Lennie KAPLAN
ballad up the schedule by keeping
that “certain" book of enlightening
facts, out for a few days more than
his allowed time. . . .The class is up
in arms and ready to “sink” Morris
BECKMAN, u junior, for reading

 

that book....SPEARS boopcd his
seniors in Concrete with, GINthetic
division.

THE STEAM Silillllil.

 

I Book Review

my i

 

 

 

Two very energetic young gentle-
men, namely Cliif (Foreigner) Car-
stem, and Willie the Carp Bolz were
observed by stooge No. 725 in Au-
rora, Batavia, St. Charles, and Gen-
eva, doing some curve tracing. Or
was it chasing?

a a
An annual custom is that of de-
pantsiug all freshmen making their
first trip to a track meet. In attempt-
ing to carry out the tradition this
year, the zeal was so great that a
window was broken in the fray.
(What part of a bus is the fray?)
Anyhow the depantsing went on as
if nothing had happened.

is a w

Shame on you, Professor Tibhals.
After teaching at Armour so many
years. you should know where “H”
Chapin is.
W t a

What lengths will a man not go to
attain wealth and fame! AL RAGAN
bet a quarter apiece to P. R. Shultz
and F. Hackman that he would drink
anything,r they would mix. He won
the bet. Among other things best left
unmentioncd, the concoction con-
tained ginger ale. beer, terrible coll'ee,
celery, cookies, salt, pepper, and lost
and least, a little bit of water.

If those two daffy Slipstick col-
umnists, ZAZU and E. J., don’t get
over their feud soon, we predict a
murder.
a. m

See if you can get Tarzan Lieb-
man to Show you his picture in a
certain physical culture mag.

v; o 9‘

PAUL MARTIN and BILL CHA-
PIN just love to throw pies. They
couldn’t find anyone to throw them
at, so they just threw them at each
other.

Si: 31! 1
Great talent lies hidden in our
faculty. Brother Winston recently

entertained his class with it song and
dance. Wouldn’t it be swell if we
could import our faculty from Holly—
wood? Yipee! No more cutting class!

Q Iii '9
Just because he is such a quiet
little feller, and always minds his
own business, we must give L. B.
Parker, the first prize for this week:
a gold plated ink eraser.

a: a: m
H. 0. B. is getting to be the local
man about town. For two Friday
nights he’s been missing from the
the news office. Her name seems to
be Dorothy L. Wonder who she
danced with at the Soph dance, when
Herman was dancing with Prof. Pot-
ter’s girl.

I? ’3

According to the Normalite sev-
eral of the girls are not satisfied with
the boys at that school. They seem
to be meeting Armour men on the
“L” platform. Of all the places!

 

‘Weuringiof Green”
Fresh Sibelius Song

Today, March 17, the feast day
of the famous Saint Patrick who
drove the snakes from Ireland,
freshmen representing many races
and creeds will-~if the sophomores
did not take the day off—pay unre—
gretting honor to the saint by don-
ning green hats.

Whether or not brickbats and
Irish confetti will be needed to fit-
tingly celebrate the day is a ques-
tion. “Sein Feiner-like" organiza-
tions among the sophomores may
regard capless freshmen as British
red coats,—a dangerous situation.
Inclement weather may keep all
ranks behind their lines.

The sophomore class seems to
have meant business when it issued
the order that green caps must be
worn during clement weather by all
freshmen as soon as they enter “No
Man’s Land” which is bounded on
the north by thirty-first street,
South by thirtyufii’th street, East by
Michigan Boulevard, and West by
Wentworth avenue.

If the rumor that freshmen will
keep their own men in obeisance to

 

 

TOM TAX.

the ultimatum is true, a halcyon day

 

should be enjoyed by all.

 

 

of Diesel Engineering by
Orville Adams. Published by Norman
W. Henley, New York. Price $4.00.

It is conceded by‘ those familiar
with modern mechanical development
that the increasing use of the diesel
engine in the automobile, industrial,
marine, agricultural and locomotive
fields will so greatly augment its
scope that thousands of trained me-
chanics and engineers will be needed
during the next few years just to
care for normal expansion.

Elements of Diesel Engineering is
a book written in simple language,
covering principles of design, opera-
tion, maintenance and repair of all
types of diesel engines with special
reference to modern high speed auto-
motive types. Its purpose is to inv
struct the beginner in the elements
of the subject.

An outstanding feature of this new
book is the inclusion of many import-
ant charts, diagrams and illustra—
tions showing various combustion
chamber, ignition and installation de-
tails which would help in studying
the subject at home. At the end of
each chapter is a set of questions
useful to anyone making a real study
of the diesel engine.

In the attempt to make the book
non-technical in language several im-
portant elements are referred to spe-
cial textbooks. The lack of any sim-
plified thermodynamics can he noted.
These principles are necessary to the
thorough understanding of the diesel
principle and their omission is rather
disappointing.

The large amount of space de-
voted to the operation and mainten—
ance of automotive diesel engines is
virtually another book in its useful-
mess to the practical engineer. Of
importance to the designer is the
chapter devoted to a history of the
development of parts for high speed
engines. This includes a treatment
of the: removable cylinder sleeve or
liner, the development of aluminum
alloys for pistons and the. placement
of rings for increased efficiency.

The book is now in the school lib-
wry and it can well be useful to stu-
dents toking the diesel course and
to night school students interested in
diesel engineering.

Fred Lemon Jr.

 

 

A Ilinuingham Southern professor
recently sent the translation of a
long and difficult Arabic work to his
New York editor. A few days later
he got a. request to do it over. The
publisher had lost the original. . . .
And I’d like to see that boy tangled
up with a Physics “final.”

 

 

cinemas "was

 

By T. H. Watts and F. J. Homem-iuoh
Don Riggs, a husky 22»year«old boy of Kansas City, Mo., is working
his way through State Teachers College at Pittsburg, Kansas, as a dress-

maker.

Columbia’s Prof. Colin G. Fink believes universities should have less
“blackboard scientists” and more practical laboratory workers.

Twenty Cunnecticut Wesleyan University students are studying prac-

tical governmental methods in Washingto

For students who keep wondering
how to get an extra “ten spot” from
home comes a friendly tip from the
Daily Northwestern. One student at
Northwestern follows the market
fluctuations of the stocks his father
holds. When the stocks advance, he
writes home for money, feeling that
the purseholder should be spiritually
and financially in a philanthropic
mood at the time.

 

Now comes the shocking news that
the date bureau at Drake University
at Iowa has shut up for lack of up-
plicunts.

Sounds made by the heart can be
seen, heard, and photographed by the
electrostethograph (looks like we’re
engaged in another hunt for long
words, doesn’t it), an instrument dc-
viscd by Dr. Walter Biering, presi~
dent of the American Medical as—
sociation.

Harvard engineers are developing
a “frost-proof" road.

Not even Phi Beta Kappa head-
quarters knows the official grip of
that organization.

 

Even in Canada coeds do not like
their boys friends to go in for
“liquor or mustaches." In a recent
poll of the University 01' Toronto
Campus, the coeds expressed violent
disapproval of such “obnoxious”
items along with mutilated fedoras,
imitation racoon coats, and long
waving,r hair.

This ad appeared in 3. Syracuse
paper, giving the address and tele-
phone number of a sorority house:

 

 

   

“Lost — woman s purse containing
Phi U., 'Phi Psi, and Beta pins. Valu-
able for sentimental reasons.”

Now let’s look at the “pet peeves”
of coeds at Indiana. University.
Among them we find “Being kissed
on the back of the neck,” “a. fellow
walking on the wrong, side of a girl,”
and “conscientiously funny people
who repeat their wise crooks to make
sure you hear them."

A secret organization called the
Hot Dog: at Syracuse University de-
crees that its members shall pass no
exam with a grade of C and that
they shall wear white shoes the year
around.

This ad is from the West Virginia.
University daily: “Men Wanted: By
two popular sorority girls, two hand-
some gentlemen for dating purposes.
Social assets required.”

In spite of the fact that women
do not have to bear the expense of
dates, Wisconsin coeds spend $150
more a year than the average man

oes.

“Heavy" water has 21 viscosity 23
times greater than that of ordinary
distiller] water. Stir it fellows, it’s
getting thick.

The American Liberty League
claims a membership of 200 among:
Rutgers....What do college stu-
dents know about liberty?

 

A. Hendrix College professor has
weighed a ray of sunlight. .. .How
in h did he hook that onto a
spring balance to get its weight?

 

 

 

   

    
   
    
 

“I’ll admit I didn’t know what pipe smoking
was until I discovered Prince Albert,” says
Matthew Danahy, ’88, about America's fa-
vorite. “It’s a 100 to 1 shot you’ll like RA.”

, flgfigfigfifififig yfisffi’é fikfié‘kbfirflfix

Mhhhld REVS Ellfimfll. Nflfinmfil‘t @FFER

Smoke 20 fragrant pipefuls of Prince Albert. if you don't find it the mellow-
nst, tastiest pipe tobacco you ever smoked, return the pocket tin with the
rest of the tobacco In it to us at any time within a month from this date, and
we will refund full purchase price, plus postage.

(Signed) R. J. REYNOLDS TOBACCO COMPANY

 

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

THE WAWDNAB.
Mill Sindhi?

Robert Sensemann, ’35: “You can’t beat
P. A. from the economy standpoint.”

 

 
 
 
   
   
 
    
 
          

 

THE KiND
DA?) '

SMOKE-'5

 

\

  

“My old pipe and a tin of P. A. are always
within reach, ” says “Texas” Fought, ’38.

c: 193:5. R. J. Reynolds m 02.

   
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
 

pinuls of Ers-

nt tobacco is:
ever): E-v-ozxmxi tin
of Prince Albert