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ARMOUR TECH NLNS

 

Tuesday, June 2, I936

 

Armour Tech News
Studem l'ubl1eauon oi

‘XRMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY

CHICAGO. ILLINOIS

”winch-«l Wm»le llurmg the College Year
”fitssociotrd @ollcoirue $1311.59

é 1934 "‘A‘

     

mm 1935

 

2111- l'l-r Yum \1 11h (‘11;111

 

Ill Cents Each

 

EDITORIAL BOARD
ifretll..l.ez1son Jr.
No1tou GCII'KA

l‘lxl lowinrchiel'

Managing Editor
Spmls Editor
News Editor
Copy Editor ..

  
 

Rab1now1tL
ermeister

Sidney

Business Manager

. . 1m
Faculty Advisor Hendricks

Vi’alter

 

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

Assignment Editors
L. Ii. Parker, J.
Featuie Editox

 

I).

bhrehuu

P. Weissmanl
Assistants F. l Heiderireich, M. I.ube1,b S. M Miner, l
B. Nobler, E. .I. Pleva, H. M. Ross, T, H. Watts. 1
News Reporters ............ L. Bain, R. F. Boa1‘d8ley,l
ll. J. Bodnar, E. G. (Tit-chanowicz. J. S. Cullison,
M. Ephraim, A. George. R. I. Jal‘lee, J. D. Keane,
R. Kotal, R. N. Lance, C. W. itch, A. N. Schrieber,
It. T. Smith, E. [1. Stoll, E. 14‘. Wagner, T. W. Yeakle.
Assistant ('opy Readers . . ..W. A. Chopin, F. I). Iiolfcrt
J. F. Sturgeon

      
   

Photographer ........................... It. Mansfield
Cartoonist ..... ., .......... R. Kiehaven
Sportn Reporters . . .......... R. A. Braun.
II. It. (loylc, . l". Morris, (7. K. Nauman, D. 3.;
Rodkin, R. I“. Worcester.
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
Advertising Manager ............... l. M. Thoma~

Circulation Manager
Business Assistant ..

Vol. XVII.

........... . (T. O. Forsberz
............. R. B. Burmun

No. 15

 

JUNE 2, 1936

 

Good Luck! Seniors

You are about to end the most important task
of your life—your formal education. However,
your education will continue throughout your
lives. though perhaps aloni,r dill'erent lines.

you will become participants in the game of earn—
ing a living; and most important, you will meet
people and make new friends

Your college education will help make your
future education much easier, because you have
developed methods of attack and have learned to
concentrate. The association you have had at
Armour with students and faculty members will
prove of inestimable value in forming new friend~
ships among:r co-workers.

Probably only a few will obtain positions im‘
mediately at something you enjoy doing, but those
of you who do not, will at least be in a spot where

W. J. Chelgren,"
1

You ,
will become students in the school of hard knocks; ‘

ation.
With the help of the Armour Engineer and
Alumnus the Alumni are gradually becoming a

‘closely knit loyal group of Techawks and each

year a greater percentage of the graduating class
remains with the institute via the Alumni. With
this, our last issue, we extend our hearty wishes
for lots of good luck! Seniors.

. . . . . .Jostph M. KubCl'l Mostly Political

With what promises to be at least one exciting
political convention, and the formation of two na-
tional platforms coming,r up this summer, we just

cant help breaking: our long silence concerning
national politics

President Roosevelt is already asking congress
lor 1111 increase in t1xalion to finance some of his
New Deal policies. To bring up that subject at
such an inopportune time —— before elections ~—
shows that the president must be sincere in his
thoughts and that some of his projects are not
merely mt <getters. Congress, on the other hand,
is passing the buck and trying to postpone any
taxation legislation until next year. They forget,
.1 the most opportune times, that they were
elected to look after the public interests and not
their own.

Though much criticism has been leveled against
the New Deal and its policies, the Republican
party has already stated a farm policy similar to
the A.A.A. and rehabilitation program. While the
Republicans have as yet said nothing about old
age pensions or unemployment insurance, they
will, no doubt, have some provision in their plat-
form. Things like the PWA, NYA, and some of
the othe' administrations could not be suddenly
dropped without; having serious effects on the
economics of the country. The main question here
is whether such a program should be financed by
the government, or by private business.

Unemployment has assumed national import-
ance since 1929, but statistics show that there
were 8,000,000 unemployed in the boom days of
1928 and 1929. Those physically and mentally un-
able to work demand some attention and those
who won’t work under any conditions make an
entirely different problem.

Stories of poor working conditions and low
pay didn‘t have much effect on us until the other
night, when we found that the waitress who
served us News men lunch each week, received 15
cents an hour. While it is doubtful that anything
will be done soon about a minimum wage or a
national regulation of working hours, we think
that in years to come, it will be a vital question

 

you can choose the line along which you would‘ to engineers.

like to ad now. With your background, this
should not present any insurmountable ditficulties.
Finally, you will probably find gaps in your or-

ganized education. No one could possibly learn all leaders. Then when hours are cut it will be up to A couple is sitting there holding

there is to know on one subject, in just four short
years. When you find a gap, remember that books,
libraries, and night school will be very useful in
helpinir your further education.

It is useless to say that just because you gradu-
ate, you will lose connections with the institute.
Men who have been so active while in school

change their line of activity to the alumni assoc-L .

Labor is destined to become of increasing im—i

portance to engineers. The question of pay and
.working hours will require a lot of thought by

the industrialists to provide recreation facilities
in order to keep their men from the corner tavern.
One of the largest national problems, in our
opinion, but which won’t be mentioned by any
party, is to take tlie‘ ‘politics’ out of politics.
lTherein lies much of the criticism toward any
parties’ policies and there lies all the waste and
expense of local and national government.

 

Strange Things Happen in the No we
@fficc as Memorials Cat Up Steam

By Imus Show-lit
Several months ago, in a daringgfirc.
Tee}: Vows was w1itten eveiy week ‘ inspiration, while
Today, we present an even mme dalv
in}: expose of how the Slipstick isl ture.
compiled by the so called humoi edi»l
tors.

It is Friday morning.
clatter issues from the fourth en-'
trance of Chapin as the Feature Edi-

urab several sheet

out, crumple it, a
floor. A

 

dle of the floor and setting them on
The Featuie Editor
expose, we told you how the Aimom‘ l seveial pictuies of beautiful girls for

pours a bottle of ink over Zazu's pic-
They uncover the typewriter,

lone in the machine
A mightylsot in exactly straight, they rip it

second sheet

mumbling: to himself.

I". E., still grinning over his joke.

“D'ya ever see this whatchmav
floozit before?"

“Gee Whiz! No! What‘s it for?”

The two begin to trace the gadget
into the innards of the machine and
several minutes later, thoroughly en~
tangled in the ribbon and smudged
with grease and ink, amid pieces of
typewriter scattered over the floor.
they hear someone coming up the
stairs.

“Jiggers, the Editor! Quick, get
rid of the typewriterl!‘

tacks up

E. J. rever ently

L of papel, and set
As it is not

nd throw it on the
is put in.

tor and E. J, race up the dark, rick— Again it is not exactly straight and :1Where """ where?" ‘
ety stair-way. Suddenly the noise receives the same treatment as the ‘An’yplacel 0‘“ the window,
teas 5. Two loud thumps are heard first. Some time later, knee-deep in quick.

 

 

as they knock themselves senseless in
a. vain attempt to dash through a
closed door. Reviving a few minutes
later, they cautiously sneak up the
sta1rs, this time groping: blindly for
the door knob. “Wait a minute, I‘ve
got the keys. Heres the one. D 1,

crumpled paper,

 

 

no paper left. "
“I know what.

 

 

they find that there
is no paper left and the Slipstick has
not yet been started.
Difficulties

“Gosh, what’ll we do now? There‘s

They hastily gather the pieces,
throw them into the frame, and
heave the typew1iter out the win-
dow, absent-mindedly forgetting to
open the window.

Arise

Enter Zazu

Rip off a hunk of A iou uu knocking is heaid on the

it WW1“ 111ml Here W)“ “Y 11;, Wl‘e the wall papei. ” The wall paper is innci door and in walks Zazu Zazu
L‘l) Alter “V0 minutes 0f haul set in, and, being triangular, they sees E. J.-E. J. sees Zazu. They
WOW. they find that the door h can't tell whether it is in straight or fight. The F. E. stands upon the

 

been unlocked all the time. They en—‘
ter. They jimmy open the door of
the Managing Board’s sanctum sanwl
torum and prepare for a day of hard ‘1 through several
WWk- l While the F. E.

The title “The

The Process Begins
E. J. clears the Editor's desk by fascinated by a

carefully piling all the letters, press gadget on the typewriter, sets it on
.the floor and lies down beside

releases, news stories, etc. in the mid-

not and so it remains.

out and a pause ensues as they thumb

silly over one of his own jokes, E. J,,

desk and cheers them on with shouts
of “Sic ’im, E. J.", and “Atta boy.
Zazu!” They struggle until, too ex-
haused to strike another blow, they
lie panting on the floor. Suddenly
Zazu jumps to his feet with, “Hey,
fellers! I gotta gag”
“Shut: up!"
(Continued 011 page four)

Slipstick” is typed

musty joke books.
is laughing himself

hitherto unnoticed

 

1t,

 

| ____.._.______ Wm
The gymsmk l Fraternity Notes I
Cleave to the slipstiek; let

the slapstick fly where it may. THETA XI .
We take pleasure 1n announcing the

pledging last week of:
Louis Kacel, Ch.E., '37.
Robert Worcester, E.E.,
We

 

 

Alter a six months’ investigation.
we have determined the five funda-
mental rcasous why the seniors
should be glad to graduate. We are
presentim,r them now for your ap—
proval, consideration, ratification,
and approval. 5.
1 Brother (Zhapin who was elected pres-

Sume Joys of Graduating . . . . ,
I. TO PASS the Social Science l‘ ident ot Tau Beta P1 and of Eta Kap-

pi'ol‘. without. having,r to smile and i 1’“ Nu for the following year. Broth—
say “hello." er Magnuson was elected secretary~

2. TO CD out seven nights in the treasurer 0f Salamander.
week instead of six. Our golf match with Triangle a

3. TO HEAR a train go by with- Week ago proved to be quite an excitu
out instinctively clutching for some ing match, results showing our team
support. to finish on top by a close margin.

4. TO HEAR the word “examina- Stevens, Norris, and Anderson com-
tiion" without having); the calcium in posed the team. We are awaiting the
your body precipitate out into your playoff of the Phi Kap-Phi Pi match
legs. for our next games.

5, TO LIVE through every other It was hoped that our tennis match
Tuesday without having to avoid with Triangle would he played lust
Zazu’s column. Friday. With but a week of school
remaining it seems doubtful whether
the. tournament will be finished this
spring.

'38.

also wish to congratulate

 

their
Congratulations are, also in order for

initiation into Pi Nu Epsilon.

 

1% ’3 fl
She: No, 1 can‘t: waltz this one
with you. I’m so danced out.
He: Aw, miw you're not. You’re Since these will be the last; notes
just pleasimrly plump. {Or the DI‘ESBM year, we Wish everyv
. 1. it one a most enjoyable summer and
those not; graduating: we hope to see
next fall. Until then, so long.

Captain: Why do you wear a wom-
an’s nightgown when you 9,1) to bed?
Zazu: Because in case of shipwreck
women and children come first.
c a

rm r1 131711

 

The Phi Pi’s certainly cleaned up
as far as sports go this year. With
the addition of the baseball cup, and
winnip; a second leg‘ on the track and

Speaking 01' Zuzuvrlir claims that
his girl 171: just 'rziimtcou. yours and
some month.» old today. Nineteen
yours and highly-one months old. to

be exact relay cups, we have won every major
* * " sport this year.
A “DOMH "GPOI'LGIW VISIIIWE J00 In the recent A.T.S.A. election Bro,

Louis, noticed a large stone and a
faded rose lying on the table of the
famous lighter. “Would you mind
“I’ll"! me What that 5‘0"" is 1'0"?” comes president next year. Bro. Dun<
asked the news hound. “Not at all," bar was also recently pledged to Hon.
answered the Brown Bomber, “that’s. 0,. A

the stone with which an envious box-
er struck me on the head." “Oh, and
the rose?" “That’s the rose I brought
buck from his grave as a souvenir!"

m a a:

Dunbar was elected first vice-presiA
, dent. Bro. Heiko, who was first vice-
president this year automatically be-

We recently received a letter from
Brother Pflum, who, with Brother
Fricde, is at: the Navy Air Training
station at Pensacola, Fla. He. says
that they are both flying high down
An optimist is a person that opens there and expect to join the fleet soon,
11 pint bottle with five folks. around‘

RHO DELTA RHO

and ‘kcepn the cork.

Rastus was (lead. A wonderful
funeral was in progress. The preach—
er talked at length of the mood traits
of the deceased brother, what a good,
honest man he was, what a good pro-

Wo take pleasure in announcing the
informal initiation of the following
men:

R. I. Jaffee ’39

M. Ephraim ‘39

 

 

 

“What’s that you said?" queries the “Pm“ and it 13D: too. NM only (IOGS

[ behind her.

 

vider for his family, what a loving:
_ husband and father. The widow grow
'rostlcss. “Andrew,” she whispered,
“150 up dare and look in (lat coffin
and see if dut’s

,,

H. S. Ruekberg ’37

A. Hoffman ’39

N. Levin ’39

H. Harrison '39

We have planned no events for
this summer. but will announce any
plans when made.

 

yore pa."

1

iln the parlor a davcnport stands.

 

 

hm

 

hands.
So far — no farther.

    
  

1
l

’l‘llE S'l‘llllllll Milli/ill.

1
l

Now in the parlor a cradle stands,
The mother is weeping- and wring-
ing her hands.
So far — no father.
ax 1. =k

 

 

 

 

1s invariably referred to as she: l
She wears a jacket with a yoke,
lpins, shields and stays. She has an

1
Jii Several reasons why a locomotive
1

 

Quoting H. O. B. (Mighty Tender),
we give, you: “This time of the year
we're getting to be like the butcher
V who fell backwards into a large
, . bhe 3'13“ attracts atten- meatgrinder. We’re getting a lit-
tion With pulls and mufflers, and tlc behind in our work.”
sometimes she foams and refuses to, .1. i,- .1.
work. At such times she needs tol
be switched. She needs guiding and
she requires a man to feed her, but
most characteristic of all is that she
is much steadier when she is hooked
up.

she have shoes, but she sports pumps
and even hose while she drags trains

The Juicers went on a picnic last
Thursday, and supplied us with two
items. First of all, they took along
a, half barrel of beer. The Sissies
didn’t even finish half of it. To bad
:1- i. a: we weren’t there

,, .,.

“You don’t drink at; all?”

“No, I always got a nosebleed af-
ter drinking."

“That’s true. We always finish off
the night by having- a scrap too.”

4‘ ’6 *

Stui‘z claims that he rode all the
way out there (50 miles) on his bi—
cycle. Oh, well, it takes all kinds of
people to ‘make a world.

s a».

THE FELLOWS AT THE TRI»
ANGLE HOUSE PLAYED A DIR-
TY TRICK ON BOB “I GOT A
NURSE" LUNDBERG. HE HAD A
DATE TO GO ON A HIKE WITH
A GIRL AT EIGHT O’CLOCK [N
'THE MORNING. THE FELLOWS
DOWN AT THE HOUSE SET THE

Since a wife is a man’s better half
-—maybc that's the reason men who
have been married twice look as if
there were nothing left of them.

., ,,

A farmer let a bum sleep in his
barn. Coming; to wake up the hobo,
he found him fast asleep, his head

resting on a hollow cast iron pipe. CLOCK TWO HOURS A‘HEADi
Farmer: Wasn’t that pipe awfully WITH THE RF SULT THAT BOB-
uncomfortable? BY WAS AT THE APPOINTED

Zazu: Naw, not at, all. I stuffed it:

PLACE AT SIX 0 CLOCK.
with strawill! T 2'

'11
s ’1 Dickcyboy Lischcr, graduating
architect, has confided that his one
ambition in life is to kick in the
stained glass windows in the Mission.
As we said before, it takes all
kinds. . .

Life is roal, life is earnest;
Let us strive to do our best;
And departing, led/17c behind us
Notebooks that will help the
E

 

res t.
.l

Brothers Magnuson and Stevens upon I

 

 

We’ve come to the end of the rape,
so to sport/.7, and now we can. hang
ourselves, unless we make good on our

cmimimttioi'is. And if we do make
good there will be quite (1 number of
ymduotus. In view of the fact that
this is the last edition, of this post for
the your, a d that {11' is the last time
the growl Ming seniors will open this
news-paper and find the Arm News
staring them in the fut-0,1090! like Io
give them a great big; send-off, such
(as it is, and we want spare the
others.

All this talk about the seniors
brings to mind the judgment of Ry»
erson Prize Competition,’ locally.
Outside members on the jury were
Mr. Marx, noted for his residential
work, and Jerrold Loebl, a promin-
ent; architect of Chicago. When the
smoke cleared away enough to see
the grades on the projects, we found
that Art SCHREIBER, Wes WEIT-
ING were both awarded Mention
Commcndods, to say nothing of the
numerous mentions and other sundry
grades seen on the other drawing-s.

Mr. LOEBL was also kind enough
to come again to talk to the boys,
especially the seniors, on architec—
ture as it is practiced. A great deal
of interest was given to the photo-
graphs of some of the houses Mr.
Loebl has done which he had brought
along to supplement his talk-«the
photographs, not the houses. He in-
dicated that there is great promise
for the future in architecture, which
makes us very, very happy.

Here is another success story, this
time by one of our fellow students.
1You: didn’t ‘know there was a suit“
cecsful student, did you? But then:
is, and the reason for his success
Hank LOI—lWIlLLER tells us is that
he uses “pastel and Opaques instead
of atom: or bricks" on projets. We
cannot see the: connection but may-
be Hank has n little “water color"
on the brain.

One of the more versatile Fresh-
men goes under the assumed name
of Lawrence CUNEO, for he is not
only the best “nigger” on lettering
but he draws a mean caricature. His
most recent one is that of “Bunny”
NIELSEN who does not know who
draw it so if you see Bunny, don‘t
tell him. What‘s the build-up worth
CUNEOY

Frank HRACHOVSKY must have
a sense of humor, for when some of
the boys wanted to die-pants him just
as a joke, he told them he would sit
on the stairs of the Art Institute sans
pants, until said article of clothing
was returned, or maybe that isn’t
so funny. But is it a promise or a
threat, Frank?

Now for a few predictions that are
almost certainitics, at least one of
them is for there is 11 rumor going
around that your news—ed is a candi—
da, for the “sinking" fund, the (111.1119
mg event. to take place in the near
future, and at tlw merciless hands of
tho juniors. And for what, for being
your correspondent. One other candi-
date to grace the Great Lakes Foun-
tain. is Jar: REIM, who is to be the
sole property of the Freshman for the
want. He doesn’t know about if so
let’s hope it comes off before he sees
this. All, but your news-ed knows
about his.

The initiation of the freshmen into
the ARX Society came ofi" as a grand
finale and was followed by the An~
nual Banquet. Everything was com—
ing off very nicely—even the pants
—until a policeman stopped the pro-
ceedings. But at that the boy‘ had
a swell time, and the newly~i itiat-
ed fresh are storing up ideas to be
used next year when they are at
the other end of the paddles.

And so, we‘ll sign off until the
next season and IT! case you COT??-
spondent does not continue as such.
just remember him as—

TGM TAX.

 

 

 

 

Prof. Goetz, in his Senior Soc. Sc,
class. gave the boys the opportun—
ity of working a one-hour problem
at home. and asked if anyone thought
he could not do it at home without
outside help. The class was silent
except for J. OWEN LARSON. who
was somewhat doubtful of himself.
The result was that JOHN GWEN
L. got a nice three hour exzixnius»
tion for himself. As we 5 2 before

   

R

 

 

it takes all kinds of people.

W.wmu?