iPa g: Two M Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY HICAGO. ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year associated” (€011 ,g'ienz’Q-MW » $52.00 Per Year 5 cpjnic duress Meiji”; ngle Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD ‘Edztor-in-chict’ ....... . . .. . . . . .Fred L. Leason, Jr. Managing Editor . . . . . .Norton Gerber Sports Editor . ................. Joseph M. Kubcrt News Editor ........... Sidney Rabinowitz Copy Editor . ..... Herman 0. Bauer-meister __.._. #M Busmess Manager . .................. E. J. Simek Faculty Advisor .................. Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Assignment Editors .................. W. J. Chelgren, L. B. Parker, J. D. Shcchan Feature Editor ........................ R. Weissman Assistants.F. I. Heidenreich, M. Luber, S. M Miner, B. Noblcr, E. J. Pleva, H. M. Ross, T. H. Watts. Nevis Reporters ............. L. Bain, R. F. Beardsley, H. J. Bodnar, E. G. Ciechanowicz, J. S. Cullison, M. Ephraim, A. George, F. B. Harman, R. I. Jaifee, J. D. Keane, R. Kotal, R. N. Langc, C. W. Reh, A. N. Schrieber, R. T. Smith, E. L. Stoll, E. F. Wag- ner, T. W. Yeakle. Assistant Copy Readers . W. A. Chapin, F. D. Hoil'ert J. F. Sturgeon Photographer ........................... R. Mansfield Cartoonin ............................ R. Kichaven Sport=1 Reporters ........................ R. A. Braun, H. R. Coyle, G. Mm“ ' Rodkin, R. E. Worcester. C. K. Nanman, D. B. susiiv Vss DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ................ I. M. Thomas Circulation Manager ........... C. O. Forsbcrg Vol. XVII. MAY 19, 1936 No. 13 Three Weeks! Three weeks . . . does that mean the clank ofl ghostly chains? A semester’s work crammed into one bitter dose? Or are youn—yes, you, confident of your grasp in every course, certain of the com— ing finals? Not that we want to scare amend, but the work in every curriculum at Al"m()lll‘,l while admittedly not easy, is planned to make it, possible for everyone to complete a course in the assigned time and then to review the work as a final check. The examinations, while serving as a final in- ARMOUR TECH NEWS of formulas, but it is by constant use of these highly developed methods that we arrive at the desired mastery that is our education. So, let's hit those books hard; get the main currents. The texts print, and the instructors emphasize them. in the remaining three weeks, enough time re- mains in which to knock the finals for a row of A’s. Moderation The phrase, “Don’t let your studies interfere with your college education," has probably been heard by everyone when he graduated from high school. After a week or more of constant activity on the campus, we wonder if that statement shouldn‘t be changed back to its original form. After all, we pay a certain sum each year for our education and when we see numbers of our stu-- dent body wandering about sans pants and, judg~ ing by facial expressions, without that which we are here to achieve, we sometimes wonder. When we come to the human tendency of never being on time, we feel that we could reel oil reams of editorial material. Sufl‘ice it to say that “fash— ionable” society folk are finding it more expedient than ever before to arrive at a play before the curtain has gone up. When the curtain goes up late the actors suffer more than the audience, mainly because lthe folks “out front” are already antagonized toward the performers. If you were unlucky enough to have an “8:30" we suppose you did attend a few classes last week and, during the semester we assume that the conscience—smitten few attended classes regu— larly. Perhaps it is psychological, but it’s still more fun to cut a class than it is. to be excused. Perhaps if, as it was formerly, one had to ditch a class to see a coveted contest during Junior Week there would have been more general interest shown in some of the events last week. By now you’re probably thinking that we are contradicting ourselves by criticizing on, very immodcra‘tely. Perhaps. Well, Junior Week has come and gone; maybe you are too buried in class work by now to have time to read this. There are, however, certain things that should be men— tioned and perhaps some helpful suggestion made while it is fresh on our minds will help make next year’s big week even more successful than was centivc, then complete the program, showing the, .studcnt how well he has mastered the work. The 1 graduate engineer may at any time be called upon l to give an account of himself, the impression hel makes may be determined in large part by his} ability to handle a new situation and apply hisi engineering knowledge. l School work may seem to be a depressing massj last week. ‘day, May 11 On behalf of the students at Armour, the News wishes to express its sympathy with Howard G. Downing, whose father died Monday, May 1]. We likewise extend our deep sympathy with Pro- fessor Philip C. Huntly, whose wife died M0n~ ARK NEWS No doubt many of us are still just 'a little dizzy from the happenings of the past week and certainly n good number of us are still recuper- ating". For somewhere along- the line “Jungle Amour,” of development, and while Armour skin in the annual lnterfratcrnlw them, yes, wc'rc short {our reports. Pageant held in Ogden Field last was still struggling with growing: Fraternity Pageant Taken by Phi Kappa Presenting: a colorful skit entitled Phi Kappa Sigma won the loving cup and the circus day m Till: STEAM Slitllllli. Well, boys, it‘s all over. Now we can take a deep breath and settle down to work. Let’s see now, let’s see. Oh yes, those reports. Four of And the homework that we are he. i pains, the boys decided that it was great sport and much more fun to maul each other and raise a general rumpus. All this was disguised as the different events of Junior Week. And we shall have to agree, for it certainly is great fun and we wouldn't miss it for the world. While the rest of the department was participating in the events of Junior Week, the sophomores were on diuretic. And while Mr. REED was calling for “triggers” for his chil— dren, we were out playingF baseball or tennis or golf for the various tournaments, or even parading around as hobos and possibly look ing more natural than we have for a 1011;: time. But it seems the sophs did not need much help for “Swede" ERICKSON and Wally LlTWlN came out on top of the heap of the judgment with a Mention Com- mended apiece. But it was really a treat to see Al RAMP remove his dignity along with his “glad rags" and don old clothes to enter the fight between the juniors and seniors. and Lorry JDHANSON, who was blind as a but without his glasses, staggering around the field looking for an eight foot push ball, and Hank LOI—L MlLLER, as a Marshal, struggling with the gun as he started the different events off. And there on the sidelines was; Charlie SALA ETTA. watching the fun. Junior in he, iamy pants, just: There was really a nice turnout “from the Arx, possibly because Shc‘to SPEARS cautioned the juniors to be in there fighting, as they were. TOM TAX. Friday afternoon. in this stunt, three scientists found the ruins oi‘ Armour in the year 2030. The ruins yielded a WPA worker who was lean— ing on a shovel, and some students playing: cards with negro savages standing around. One of the scient- ists was left on guard while the others slept, but a tlaxendiaired ne~ gro temptress lured away the guard, allowing savages to capture the sleeping explorers. The other skits were also well re- ceived. Delta Tau Delta gave a pan» tomime on school work, graduation exercises, alumni reunion, and rea1~ ity after graduation. Many of the audience were unable to control their laughter as the pantomime was ef- fectively presented. The Phi Pi Phi stunt showed Mr. Allison investing- the school’s money in the stock mar- ket with valuable tips from Profesr sor Bibb. Pi Kappa Phi presented a hillbilly act in which one member of the large family was aiming to go oil to the big city to school. Their stunt included some hillbilly music and dancing, and a feud. Sigma Al- pha Mu presented a farcical melo- drama in which Armoui"s chimney was irretrievably stolen, but the chimney hole was found in Profes- sor Schommer‘s pocket. Theta Xi en- gineers were unable to fix a car in their act even though the best engi— neering methods were applied. FinalA ly somethings exploded in the engine and they gave up. The judges for the Interfraterni- ty Pageant were Mr. Allison and Professors Fulghum, Huntly, Paul, Schommer, and Spears. hind on. Oh well, our job at pres— ent is to dig up the dirt, to rake. up the mud, to drag family skeletons from their closets. to—ctc. etc. Here, here, Steam Shovel, quit stalling! Here comes the dope. 1. e it John Galandak came down Monday morning to see the Parade of Hobos, and can you imagine his embarrass ment when he was given first prize. The thing that got his goat is the fact that he wasn’t even entered in the contest. (Honest, Galandak, we wuz only kidding.) 0‘ 9‘ Perhaps it was planned in advance, but Professor Moreton didn’t know it. Last Thursday night, (the big night, remember?) at the A.I.E.E. banquet held down at the Congress hotel, Professor Moreton was the re« cipient of the apparently unwelcome attentions of one of the more dar— ing hostesses. Some of the boys wrc predicting a. combined Armour-Normal paper for The Slipstick 4? Cleave to the slipstick; let the slapstick fly where it may. After a roundmthc-world-cruise,v the practical joker sent his New York friend a collect telegram from San Francisco that read: “Feeling fine and dandy. Never felt better in all my life.” A week passed by and the prac- tical joker had i‘org‘otten about the telegram when he received, by par— cel post, a large and heavy package, 0. 0. D. for which he was obliged to pay postage amounting to $6.57. When he opened the package, a stone the size of a man's head fell to the floor. It was labelled: This is the stone that dropped oil“ my heart when I received your telegram. ¥l= r; :1. No news may be good news—but no luck is always bad luck. IF 3i: it He: Kissing is unhealthy. She: I really couldn‘t say. l’ve never been ‘-—A — He: You've never been kissed? She: No, I’ve never been ill. 1h i: a: Wiley (fishing): “Such a long time and I haven't caught anything vet.” Hubby didn't I?” (ditto): ”I bit sooner, ’1' :K iii A really embarrassing situation is. when you want to call someone an idiot and he boats you to it. lit :1: i, The rich. Wm” has his molar cor, His country and his row", (’b‘fbllt’. ‘ I‘Ic sum/ms a fifty (rut rigor . And jfli‘l‘ll u! fate. l Hc fri'mls Him (In, lively day, l He knows not no . y, llf‘?‘ pinch. Nix Iwurf nouns light, his lal norms: IIWI. Hr lion 4,1. chm/1. Yr! though my [amp burns low (liltll dim, ; Though I rims! alum» for livelihood, r Th" It you Hint I would (,‘lllHlf/(f wilhl l l l l him? You be! I would! r. .r a: A planter of Virginia wanted toi reward his faithful colored chauficui'l by giving him a Christmas present. “Dobeon,” he asked him. “what would you rather have, a ton of coal or a gallon of whiskey?” “Wal you see, Boss, I burn woml."| E. J. .1 lb. . . , ‘ JUDGE, SOME OF THE Pipes IN vouR COLLECTION ARE AS BEAUTiFULAs vouca DAUGHTER“ BUT AFTER LOOKlNG THEM OVEQ I'LL STICK TO Mv coco OLD BRIAR “e Tuesday, May l9, V936 l.MrossmLE?-~not at all. Year after year Long Distance telephone service grows longer in rcnch-shorlcr in the lime needed for making connec- tionouliighcr in (finality of transmission—«lower in cost. Since the first of this year, Long Distance calling has been made cheaper in two ways. 1. Rates are now reduced after 7 P. M. each night on person-tu-pemon calls to most points. As formerly, station- ‘Mrstalion rates are lower after 7 P. M. 2. The same low night rates now apply all day Sunday on both types of service. Just another proof that the Bell System is constantly striving; to fit telephone service more closely to your needs in every possible way. Why not who ”downing: of these "Bargain Hours” to keep in clamor touch with home? i HE'V, NOT so FAST ON THAT ow BRIAQ, ‘ SON SMOKING PlPES OF BRUYEQE % ROOT, QR TREE HEATH 1N [849,AVOUNG FQENCHMAM, MONSiEue VASSAS, DISCOVERED THE NATlVES OF “ll—lE PYQENEES the near future. Ever since the party 1 given by their news staff, to which our staff was invited, a number ofl “Normalitcn” can be seen in the com— , party of our new . b V 7‘ k Last Thursday night, as you prob- ably know, about thirty stray engi— necrs marched into the Chicago theater in a snake dance and then marched right out again. That is, all but Bob (You Can’t Print This) Jaflee, who was forcibly detained by the management. Just why HE was chosen is a mystery to us, unless per haps he tried to stay behind and see the show. pipnl’uls of fra- grnnr tobacco in very 2—ouxlce tin e of Prince Albert HE STARTED MANUFACTURING LVKE PRINCE , NuaEQ‘i’a A ill. 5. ll. l3“. its best—we’ll accept sweeter P. A.'s “crimp cut" tobacco is and We’re invitingyou txsmoke Prince Albert. If you don't say it’s smoking tobacco at regrets, and your smokes will been us. But when you learn how much cooler and Prince Albert doesn’t bite the tongue ~well, we take the risk on regrets. Read our offer below. your that W‘ WWWW’“ Wfi'fli‘o’c’wfi .-.:;:~;.;.;.