Page Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year $2.00 Per Year gle Copies, 10 Cents Each EDITORIAL BOARD . . . .. . ...Fred L. Leason, Jr. ..... Norton Gerber .. . . . . . . . .Joscph M. Kubert ............ Sidney Rabinowitz .Herman O. Bauermcister . . . .Waltcr Hendricks Editor-in-Chief . Managing Editor Sports Editor . . . News Editor Copy Editor ......... Faculty Adviser ............. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Assignment Editors .................. W. J. Chelgi‘en, L. B. Parker, J. D. Shechan Assistant Copy Reader ............... F. D. Hoffert Feature Editor .......................... R. Weissman Assistants. . .W. Alt, W. A. Chopin, E. R. Johnson, M. Luber, B. Noblcr, E. J. Pleva, T. H. Watts Photographer ........................... R. Mansfield Cartoonirt ............................ R. Kichaven News Reporters .................. H. J. Bodnar, E. G. Ciechanowicz, J. S. Cullison, I. M. Footlik, F. B. Harman, R. Jaifee, J. D. Keane, R. Kotal, It. N. Lance, A. N. Schrieber, R. T. Smith, E. L. Stoll, T. W. Yeaklc, E. F. Wagner Sports Reporters ........................ R. A. Braun, H. R. Coyle, G. F. Morris, C. K. Nauman, D. B. Rodkin, R. E. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Business Manager ..................... E. J. Simek Advertising Manager . . . .I. M. Thomas Circulation Manager .............. C. 0. Forsberg No. 1 Vol. XVII FEBRUARY 18, 1936 Keep Worthy ideas This issue of the News is the first put out under the direction of the new staff. In any organiza- tion, in particular a newspaper, a change of staff brings a change in ideas; but there are some ideas and principles which have been established by our predecessors which we feel must not be altered. The duties of the new staff are to serve the students, whom they represent, to present all the facts unbiased, to maintain the quality of the news and feature matter, and to improve, where possible the literary style of the articles. In regards to our policies, we believe in pub- licizing the important position Armour Institute plays in training future business and technical leaders, and in fostering complete cooperation among members of each class and between classes for the obvious benefit of the student body. The fact that there are seventeen retiring members, is alone significant for the seniors. Through the efforts of the old staff, the quality of the news articles has improved, an editorial position of neutrality has been maintained on the political situation, and a number of true literary features have been printed. The watchword of “quality" has existed throughout the life of the news. The last acts of the retiring managing board have been to issue press passes which will iden- tify each member of the staff. The old manage ing board has been dissolved and an editorial board was appointed. Whether this complete separation of the business and editorial staffs will be successful, remains to be seen. The responsibilities fallen on our shoulders are many; however, in the past two years, under the leadership of the former editors, R. R. Johnson and E. N. Searl we have gained the experience necessary for carrying on the fine work of the Tech News. Cue—op Course With the beginning of the new semester, the new cooperative course is in operation, and critics will have a chance to see how it works. This plan was originally intended to become an extra source of income for Armour; however, as the idea formulates, it is easy to find a more altruistic motive. With the practical shop jobs offered, a real coordination between study and work can be made available. A large percentage of the seventy-six students in the course would not otherwise be able to attend college, and the few who find the method a more convenient way of financing their educa- tion are not over-burdening the Institute’s al- ready overtaxed loan fund, scholarship fund, and student employment services. The problems met with have been many and there will be new problems cropping up all the time. T. S. Hammond of the board of trustees :and the Chicago Manufacturers Association has been instrumental in securing the cooperation of the thirty—six manufacturers represented. To allay some criticism directed toward the course we point out the fact that a majority of the men are high school graduates who have been working with their respective organizations ARMOUR TECH NE‘WS w WWwww‘e‘u WV 5 i “The Slipstick” Cleave to "The Slipstick": let l the Slapstick fly where it may. l M». mm “MM Mm mu mm “Well this semester I’m going to work hard, going to turn over a new leaf. No more dates. No more movies. No late nights. I’m going to work five hours a day after school. No more of this putting things off till the last minute. What? Sure, I can get the ca.r tonight! What time will I meet you?” * it * Old lady (to Frosh who offered her his seat): “Thank you, son. You’re a real gentleman.” Miserable Fresh: “Oh, that’s all right. This week is pledge week and I can’t sit down anyway.” 3!! 4‘- ’11 PopuIar Songs Classified Junk Song: “I feel like a feather in debris.” F. Popper goes to sea: “Red Sails in the Sunset.” Whiskey transported by plane: “Moon Over Miami.” Cracked file: “Bro/con Record.” Rotary Harmonics: “Music Goes Round and Around.” * 3; =l< An Architect’s Idea of Humor “1 gave my dog o. bone and deteriorated." She got mad and called him Mr. Not because lie went and Kr. But because the night before, This same Mr. Kr. Sr. t ’1! it Listen you Armour students, we had a contest in the Slipstick once upon a time about several weeks ago, offering a fur-lined bath tub to the person who sent in the oldest joke. Evidently you didn’t think it was in earnest. We herewith repeat the rules, and request that you send in a reply. The prize will be a small fur—lined bath tub, as previously announced. This is not a hoax, but a real contest. Here are the rules, somewhat altered. The contest will be for the worst joke. 1. All entries must be in the news boa“ in the lobby of the main building, or in the bus/act in ”10 Tech News office by 5:00 P. M., Friday, February 28, 1936. 2. A copy of the Slipstick, or a reasonably accurate facsimile must accompany each, entry. 3. All persons are eligible except cuzployccs of {he Armour Tech News and their families. 4. The opinion of the judges must be m-cr'pfcd as final. The price will be awarded to the person sending in the worst joke, or humorous poem. )‘s 9.‘ DUMB BELLS strophe The Armour chimes will rim} (1! times When they are least expected. You’ll never even go to class If by them you’d be directed. nnlistrophe : The bolls you hear are wary queer, To tell the truth they’re dizzy. Sometimes they do not ring at all And other limes they’re busy. epodc No one knows nor seems to core, Just why we Imus those noises. Our unstruuy now/cs their wrmlglings wear ’I'hcir shrill sharp tone annoys us. i?- a l l ! DIPPY DIALOGUE Tort: Don’t spit on the floor! Retort: What’s the matter, does it leak? Tori: This match won't light. Retort: What’s the matter with it? Tort: I don’t know, it lit a minute ago. Retort: Why (lid you ask for a glass of water when the barber nicked you with a razor? Tort: I wanted to see if my neck leaked. ll: a Another One on the Same Order Baa baa, black sheep, Have you (my wool? Sure you down fool; What do you think I am, a duck? 3!: 14¢ * In parting, let us say this: This is your column, and if you like it, that’s fine, tell your friends. If you don’t, instead of complaining, send in a few contributions. 01‘, as Harvey T. Woodruff might say, Help! Help! Help! Con-Fu-Tse. by their employers and accepted because they had an excellent high school record. A few Feb- ruary graduates were fortunate enough to find jobs and therefore enabled to take the course. It remains to be seen whether a man can carry a double period of math with its attendant homework, along with twelve hours a week in the drafting room and a third subject. From the complicated arrangement of the curricula, one can easily see where any failure would practically force a student’s withdrawal from the program. Paticipation in extra—curricular activities pre- sents another problem. Although the student will probably have enough to keep him busy, if interested he is eligible to participate in all extra— curricular activities, However, the eligibility requirements of athletic teams and certain de- mands for time by other activities will naturally eliminate the co-op student from participation. The second group will start next February and upon the outcome of the first venture depends from one to seven years. They have been selected the probability of further extensions. | aronriyr erosion 4 Noise in Library It seems to me that the library of an educational institution should be a place where members of the stu» dent body can go to do some serious thinking or study without sull‘erlng; undue interruptions. This is not true of the Armour library. Anyone go- ing in there to do some serious work in the hope that he will find quiet is due for a sad awakening. The place is more like a lunch room rather than a library, lacking only the clutter of dishes to make the din complete. There is a constant buzzing,- of voices; groups of students getting to- gether at a table and holding a con— fab, not whispering, but in ordinary conversational tones, and generally making a nuisance of themselves in the manner of little children. Only this afternoon, in a 15 minute period, the librarian spoke to three groups about unnecessary noise, even going so for as to eject one group. This served to quiet the others, but not for long, the din starting immediate» ly after her back was turned. Now college students are supposed to be out of the adolescent stage, and able to do a bit of thinking. If these students who think the library is a place to hold confabs would use what little brains God gave them, and con- sider the students who want to study, they would hold their gather- ings in the lunch room or on the nth- letic field. Here they can talk and yell as loud as they please without bothering anyone. E. Shulman. Say, who brought up the subject of the recent ARK DANCE? In the first place, we do not like post- mortems any more than you do, especially upon such affairs as the CI-IARIZTTE, which is and was dead and is now buried. But, as it is, we noticed very many persons who were having one swell time, well at least one or two persons, in fact we had to tell Cunningham and Woolsey about the good time they had. We could not ascertain whether or not Harry Eockwith, Each, who looked as though he had a broomstick in his coat and “seven league boots” on his feet, enjoyed himself. Among the other fancy stoppers was Al Rosen, who had to be literally dragged to the dance and then dragged away, as was the case with many others. At any rate the DANCE was a great social success as you no doubt have noticed. but that is as far as it went. “(gnawing wboul things already dead and buried makes us wonder why BILL CONCOLINO is still working on. the summer problems for A CANOE CLUB. Scams strange [but u, lwwlc mun of Bill’s noteworthy ability is not able to catch 1.471 with Iziuumlf. He is either wry late with last summer’s problem or he is yet- tiuy a head start for the next one, which is not such a, bad idea. Wonder what happened to Vic Chiappe, who was recently sporting a new shiner (around his eye). When asked about it, Vic would say, “Boy, but you should see that door!” But what we think really happened was that he was shadow boxing and for» got to duck. We’ll bet on the shadow. It must have been extremely diffi- cult but JOE WAGNER did it. Since the arrived of the new freshman co- ed, Joe Imus made a superb, manly effort to keep himself as scrupulous— Iy neat and tidy as possible. He has even lost some of his gruffness and is now as amiable and genkIe as a lamb. He no longer uses harsh words and has toned down his ”Alllriiiight- hooooys" so that he sounds like R. P. L. Expect to see lace curtains as we come in some morning. Now, we may as well add a word of welcome to the new freshmen, co- ed and otherwise, who have just on- tered this “academy for learning: stufi'” and which, in spite of its looks, is not such a bad place. As Shakespeare would have said if he had thought of it, “In time one can get used to anything," and now all we can say is “Verb, sup." TOM TAX. Gus Analyzer beamed" For Use in Auto Lab Mr. D. S. Dickey, M. E. ’34, re- cently loaned Armour Institute a Hayes-Orsot in the automotive laboratory under the direction of Professor apparatus for use Roescli. The apparatus is the latest type of gas analyzer, and will be used to test exhaust gases for carbon mo- noxide, carbon dioxide, orygon, etc. Through arrangements by Mr. T. R. Routh of the J. W. Murphy Com- pany, Dr. Dickey demonstrated the HayeSvOrsat gas analyzer before the night school class in Diesel Engin- eering at the close of last semester. Tuesday, February id, 0336 W S. E --— , (00" mod from page 1) official as yet, opening membership lo the society to sophomores And studmt‘. in all other departments. T. M. Ramotowski, president of the W.S.E., announces that the fol- lowing- program has been arranged: February 21: G. Dodge on the Grand Coulee Dam. February 28: .l'. Fleming, “Fire Protection in Building Construc- tion,” in conjunction with the RP. {9.8. March 13: Dr. A. M. Briswell of University of Illinois, “State Water Supply." March 20: (7. Carlton, “Reinforced Concrete.” March 27: T. Bridges.” Rowe, “Chicago “Can you really talk through a wire?” people still asked when this telephone switchboard went into service back in 1881. (ULApparatus was crude-service limited -——hut the idea was right. it took hold in spite of ridicule. Today there are more than 13,000,000 tele- phones in the Bell System—telephone conversations average 60,000,000 daily— the service is faster and clearer than ever. ti. Telephone growth and im- provement will go on. For Bell System men and women work constantly toward one goal: enabling you to talk to anyone, any— where, anytime.