Page Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO. ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Yea: associated Collegiate threes W‘ mmflfioai“; Each $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents MANAGING BOARD ..................... Russell R. Johnson Frank D. Cotterman . . .John 0. Larson . . .Cyril L. DuSell . . . .Walter Hendricks Editor-in-chiei’ Managing Editor ........... Sports Editor ...... Business Manager ....... Faculty Advisor ............... M EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT News Editor ......................... R. S. Kcrchcr Make-up Editors. . J. J. Doudera, M. B. Stevens Assignment Editors ........... N. Gerber, F. L. Leason, S. Rabinowitz. Copy Editor ....................... G. A. Zwissler Assistants ............ H. O. Bauermeister, W. S. Hamlin, R. H. Knabe, V. J. Kropf Feature Editor ........................ J. Galandak Assistants. .W. Graf, E. R. Johnson, A. M. Lane, A. S. Majercik, B. Nobler, E. J. Pleva, T. H. Watts, R. Weissman. Proof Editor ......... ..................... N. Balai R. Mansfield Photographer ............................ Cartoonist ................................ J. Kichaven News Reporter ............. H. J. Bodnar, W. A. Chapin, W. J. Cheigren, E, G. Ciechanowicz, J. S. Cullison, J. Danek, G. .l. Derrig, G. B. Eng, I. M. Footlik, W. Graf, F. B. Harman, M. J. Hades, F. D. Hof— fert, R. Jaifec, R. Kotal, R. N. Lange, C. Levon, M. Luber, R. Morrison, L. B. Parker, G. Prawdzik, A. N. Schroiber, J. D. Sheehan, S. C. Spencer, E. L. Stoll, E. I“. Wagner, R. Weissman. SPORTS DEPARTMENT Assistant Sports Editor ................. l . M. Kuhert Sports Reporters ..M. S. Alexander, R. Braun H. Coyle, G. Morris, C. K. Nauman, D. B. Rodkin, J. C. Scott, R. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ................... E. J. Simek Circulation Manager ................... R. M. Lundberg Business Assistants ...... M. S. Alexander, E. J. Simek Circulation Assistant ..................... C. Forsberg NOVEMBER 5, 1935 No. 7 ‘ Vol. XVI. {lame 0n, Team! Having cinched Armour’s place in the sun with l last year’s squad, basketball is preparing for a season of even more exciting games at the Went— worth avenue armory. The new freshman rule which prevents the frosh from playing on the varsity is a tribute to last year’s team; other schools objected to the teams Armour was able to put on the floor when the Techawks included freshmen. While the varsity may be handicapped by the loss of some good material, the freshman ruling is a challenge and an opportunity to the green hats. Having their own coach and a schedule which will start them off with real competition instead of a seat on the bench, the fresh will be able to show all the power they can muster. Games with freshman teams of other colleges and with city A.A.V. teams mean that next year’s team will include experienced men who know something about playing the game. The schedules are made; the gym is near school; there’s a chance for everybody to make one of the teams. Practice is just starting at the armory, and Coach Krafit and his assistant, Ray Pflum, are ready to watch all you newcomers make your trick shots. So now that classes are settling into a habit, and you’re looking for some- thing worthwhile to do, come out for a few after— noons during the week. And here‘s a reminder for all those who want the afternoons oflc to see the games. The season starts off December 5 against Arkansas, coming away up from the hills to play the Techawks. Plan to be there; start a movement to have your whole departmental group attend in a body; then go, and we’ll leave the school so empty that the profs will get lonesome and come out too. “it firipes Me-—” Doesn’t something gripe you, gentlemen? Then why not let us know about it? Eight—thirty classes, walking up five flights of stairs, or get— ting steam—shoveled by an amateur Winchell; isn’t something like this getting in your hair? Have a good cry on our shoulder then, we can stand tears on our collar. The columns of the News are open to any stu— dent who has a criticism to make, as long as it isn’t libelous or salacious. Just begin “Dear Editor—”a” ARMOUR TECH NEWS v qu «w wwvwww “The giipstich” Cleave to "The Slipstick": let w mast... A& the Slapstick fly where it may. m. mmm .mm mm...» mm Well, well!! So the sophomores have decided to end depantsing. Will wonders never cease? What will Ar- mour be like without street brawls? Alas, how ephemer— al are earthly joys. There was nothing quite as artisti- cally beautiful to the esthetic soul as the bare limbs of a freshman, fringed with shirt tail. But never again. No more will the stirring cry of ’38 resound. We must wax poetical to properly xpress our feelings. * 3% =I= FAREWELL TO LEGS (A Sonnet) Farewell, it must be, farewell Thou pastime of days more fair Stem fate has tolled thy knell And (mac verdant heads are bare. Lone streets that were crowded than Reflect dcsolatians curse. Add limbs (more exposed to men Arc now only sung in verse. My heart is sold to rue, And tears do bcdim my sud eyes As I dwell on the joys I Imcw When stripping barcherwlcd unwise. For numerical cries hem-ken in vain, But hopelessly mocked by silence, remain, * ’3 >9 From Bad to Verse Oh the night was dark and dreary And the air was full of slcct. The old man stood out in the storm And his shoes were full of feet. I ’3 >lv VOICE OF EXPERIMENT Mr. Voice of Experiment, Sir: Six months ago my Wife got a divorce, but my mother‘ in-law is still living with me. What should I do? Please answer quickly. (signed) Jake Juke. There is but. one manly course, sir, to pursue. Marry her at once. V. 0. E. ‘Jll 5? m The Professor’s Here Again Professor Freud was walking Down the busy city street. In absent minded «talking, Merely following his feet. A chance acquuim‘ancc meeting Him, his peace of mind destroyed, When he said in hearty greeting, “If it isn't doctor Freud!” The professor let the greeting page In placid vacancy. Then glancing in it looking glass, "Why, so it. is," said be. m ,. 1r Reverend Johnson of the Ethiopian Methodist Church had been asked to resign because of a disagreement with the Ladies' Aid Society. His farewell address was in part: “Brothers and Sisters, I received your request to resign and I accept and leave you with no regrets what- soever. I shall not say goodbye, nor shall I say fare~ well because those words do not express my feeling. Nor shall I say ‘auriver,’ but I simply want to call the attention of each and every brother here to the small piece of mistletoe pinned to my coat-tail as I walk down the aisle.” Bobby. ll XI1 ’l’ NARROW ESCAPE A nine inch fire ladder. CON-FU-TSE. l I l A recent declaration in this col- umn was the cause of much discus- sion and dissension among the stew- edents. The statement was to the effect that there are many individ~ uals hero who have “bats in their beli‘rys” (nuts to you) and now, just; to prove our point. . .some one sent KEEPER Joe WAGNER a “large beeootiful bunch of oak leaves. That is not so bad because many people have an affection for Joe, but attached to the bouquet was this in- scription, “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Joe.” “Well, that’s taken care of,” said Charlie SALETTA, who along with KICPIAVEN, EDMUNDS and REIM received FIRST MENTIONS for their ci‘l’orts in designing an artist’s summer colony. There were also many mentions, in fact the boys really turned out a nifty bunch of plates. Now all we want is to have the B. A. judgment taken care of. .4. J. ROSEN seems to have a natural gift for digging up facts about women, but especially Japanese women. The other day when AI. made some incredible remarks about them, your ucwswd was tempted to have some Jammcsc women visitors verify the statement, but he blushed instead. “Little Minister" JOHNSTONE did some mighty fine blushing- him- self when, for the first time. he spoke a naughty word in criticising his. own problem. No doubt he was influenced by the other boys but then Bob of all people. Tch, tch. The sophomores do not seem to have much wileower of their own and can be influenced very easily. That is exactly what two of them did, they influenced the others to vote for certain members of the class. The victims of the one—sided election are Cunningham as massicr and Don Murray as sou—massier. The highlight of the past‘ week was Mir. VOIDA’S lecture on the Orient, and any oncux‘lwho was there will agree that it was "the nuts”, as one of the fellas so ably said. In con- nection with the informal talk a number of fine nlzetchcn were shown. The boys lilzcd itI very much and a few more similar lectures would not be out of order. We are quite certain that we can talke some lessons on how to handle women from Frank HRACHOVSKY. That is very good, but what are we to do for an accent and that con- tinental touch? “Well,” Frank says, “just smile,” and after all who can doubt his word. Debate on Utilities at A.l.E.E. Meeting “Resolved: That utilities should be Iederally owned” was the subject of a debate at the A. I. E. E. meet- "ng last Friday morning in the elec» trical lecture room. It was decided by a decisive vote of the audience that the affirmative team of A. Goldsmith and P. L. Slugg won the debate. The negative team was com- posed of E. J. Costello and N. Disen- haus. Tuesday, November 5, l935 Seltmicre Hold'Party with Ragan‘asll/i. C. Last Thursday night the senior chemical class gathered in the Chi- cago Craftsman‘s Club to celebrate Hallowe‘en. The party, a cestume affair, began at about nine o‘clock and ended after two. Entertainment with A. Ragan as master of cere- monies included the standard games devised for such an occasion, point- less stories, questionable jokes, and dancing. TQM TAX. o . .. . nettle r lance we YOU have made great progress in the Past 10 years. Let’s see some of the things the Bell System has been doing in that time. Since 1925, we’ve cut the average time for complet- ing Long Distance connections from 71/2 to 11/2 minutes. We’ve made the service more our wires are now in cahle.We’vc increased the telephoneh scope about 80%—-—you, can now reach nearly 31,000,000 telephones, in every quarter of the globe. The next 10 year period bring equally important advances. near. unanimous essence immune to weather —— 94% of may That is one of the ever-present thrills in telephone work! \./ STUDENT @ mus ASLEEP AND SAWS wooo. SAWIED BLOCK FALLS 0N owus HEAD. MAKING tvsevmwe 60 BLACK FOR THE OWL. HE THINKS IT 15 NIGHT AND Hoe-rs SCARING moo wuo LEAFS FOR owes PLATFORM DRAGGING MATCH ACROSS SANDpApm .. MATCH Lieurs suvsocxrr wmcu "nos BUCKET or STUDENT AND AWAKENS HIM IN TIME To HEAR ASSIGNMENT FOIL NIEXT LECTURE. Tl . a cHOIcE. FOR 1 MELI ouN ‘ oz . , .1 THE. so Conifer“: “‘35! TOBACCID. guRMlNG. MILD: IN El“ "‘ A 035 m mew! gr TIN “was ALEE . Kg”, noses. w“ 5 I». J mucus Town‘s) mom, I NEVER KNEW HOW GOOD A PIPE COULD BE LL I TRIED PRINCE ALBERT use-W Top-QUALITY \‘CPJMP GUT” 5LQW. COOL a a .ow FLAVOR so RIGRT" ND TWO 5 e3. L flu. wimmxrsucm, s. c.