Page Two

ARMOUR TECH NEWS

Tuesday, October i5, I935

 

Amour Tech News

Student Publication of the
ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
CHICAGO. ILLINOIS
Published Weekly During the College Year

.— .
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$2.00 Per Year

 

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MANAGING BOARD
Editor—in-chief ..................... Russell R. Johnson
Managing Editor ....... Frank D. Cotterman
Sports Editor. . .. ........... John O. Larson
Business Manager . . . .Cyril L. DuSell
Faculty Advisor.. .............. Walter Hendricks

 
  
  

 

 

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT
News Editor ......................... R. S. Kercher
Make-up Editors. . .l. J. Doudera, M. B. Stevens
Assignment Editors ........... N. Gerber, F. L. Leason,
S. Rabinowitz.
Copy Editor.. ...................... G. A. Zwissler

 
 

 

Assistants ............ H. O. Bauermeister, W. S. Hamlin,
R. H. Knabe, V. J. Kropf
Feature Editor ........................ J. Galandak

Assistan¢ts..W. Graf, E. R. Johnson, A. M. Lune,
A. S. Majercik, B. Nobler, E. J. Pleva, T. H. Watts,
R. Weissman.

 

 

Proof Editor ................. ... .N. Balai
Cartoonist ....................... J. Kichaven
News Reporters ............ H. J. Bodnar, W. A. Chapin,

W. J. Chelgren, E. G. Ciechanowicz, J. S. Cullison,
J. Danck, G. J. Dcrrig, G. B. Eng, 1. M. F‘ootlik,
W. Graf, F. B. Harman, M. J. Hodes, I“. D. Hof-
fert, R. Jall'ee, R. Kotal, R. N. Lange, C. Levon, M.
Lubcr, R. Morrison, L. B. Parker. G. Prawdzik, A. N.
Schreiber, J. D. Sheehan, S. C. Spencer, E. L. Stoll,
E. F. Wagner, R. Weissman.

 

BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
Advertising Manager ................... E. J. Simek
Circulation Manager.. .R. M. Lundberg
Business Assistants ................... M. S. Alexander,
N. Disenhaus, W. A. Hotzfield, W. F. Lindeman,
S. Osri, E. J. Simek, R. W. Strauss, D. C. Timbers
lake.
Circulation Assistants ................... C. Forsberg,
E. C. Hoyer, W. F‘. Schreiber.

Vol. XVI. OCTOBER 15, 1935

 

No. 4

The Juniors Make Some Progress

Min an attempt to avoid the inter-departmental
biokcrings that seem so prone to accompany class
elfiptions at Armour, the juniors adopted an
entirely new form of class government at their
meeting last Friday. Or at least we think they
dud. So loud and prolonged was the inter—de-
partmental bickering at this bicker to end bicker-
idig that it was really difficult to get a connected
story of what took place and what was decided.

"Never mind. No new thing is ever accepted
calmly and without opposition. The fact remains
that the juniors have made a progressive move,
and the efforts of a group that was planning a
pdlitical steal have been foiled. Even if their
man is elected president, the other departments
will be fully represented in the class government.

,fl‘ogether with a list of candidates for presi-
dent, the new plan is presented for the approval
dif'the class in an election today. Presumably if
the plan is disapproved it will be necessary for
the committee appointed at last Friday’s meeting
to, meet again and make further revisions. At
any rate it seems probable that some form of
departmental representation will govern the
junior class this year.

“Of course the new plan may not work very
well. The commission may be too unwieldy to
get anything done. But there seems to be little
ground for supposing this to be true. An execu—
tive officer with the responsibility of keeping
things going is provided for in the plan, and this
is really all that the standard form provides. The
other class officers, with the exception of the
dilbial chairman, have nothing to do.

alWith a fair trial, the new plan gives every
reasonable promise of being successful, and it
will undoubtedly make impossible the pushing
through of a prepared slate by a coalition of two
dfipartments.

,.

l

‘W a “Guide to Armour”

«ii-Am idea that will surely meet with the approval
of many Armourites has gained considerable
momentum and several influential supporters at
Armour recently. It is proposed to issue a pocket
allied handbook for all students, containing such
material as the A.T.A.A. constitution and com—
plete information about the clubs, teams, publica-
llib‘hs. and fraternities. All of this data would
thus be combined into concise, complete. and
finally accessible form.

HMSuch matters as the Constitution of the
ALEAA. and the division of the student activity
for: have too long been regarded by the students
and mysteries; they are not mysteries; the infor—
"‘ tion is simply not publicized. Publication of
“his information in a small booklet would fill an
actual need.

According to the Armour Tech N cws, the Armour Play-
ers (not to be confused with the Armour Playboys) are
to stage a play modeled after the current “Tobacco Road",
which drew so much comment for its too explicit lan—
guage. Let's hope that they have the nicotine removed.

31: * 1F

Francois says that choosing a chorus girl for a review
is mostly a matter of form.
’1: ’1:
VOICE OF EXPERIENCE
A joke is fine, we must confess,
It is a. work of art,
But never crack a pun unless
You’ve got a running start.
’3 >I¢ 3

And listen, freshmen, in u paternal way we inform
you that the reason you look so young and giddy is that
you run around trying to look like sophs.

fl 8‘ *

THROW HIM OUT

The speaker had just asked a question. The audience
fell ..into a hush (turn about is fair play). The question
was this: “Which came first, the chicken or the egg."
Seconds dragged like eons, but suddenly a shrill voice
from the gallery startled the attentive listeners. “I know,"
it piped, ”the rooster.”

x): *
DOUBTFUL VERSE
“I was bred in old Kentucky.”
She said, “Get this, you oaf.
You can call yourself quite lucky
If you were ten cents a loaf.”
3% ll:

Prof. If there are any dumhells in the room, plenua
stand up.
A long pause, and then a lone freshman stood up.
hot: What, do you consider yourself a dumbell?
Fresh: Not exactly that, air, but I hate to see you
standing,- nll alone.
i} 0
The man who brags, "I run things in my house,"
usually refers to the lawn mower, washing machine.
vacuum sweeper, baby carriage and the errands.
3‘ WE fill

A SAD TALE
It was a dark night, as nights go. A chill wind whistled
through the tombstones. I shuddcred as ,I passed each
grave, dreading to think of the dad?! who lie buried
within. Stories I had heard of the dead coming to life
and of vampires crowded my mind. Suddenly a low pier-c.
ing wail was heard. I looked up. Before me was a man
kneeling before a grave. His piteous sohs were heart
rcnding. The words he was uttering were these: “You
should have never died, you should have ne—e-e-vcr dim ."
Mystery Unravels
And these words he kept repeating over and over.
Finally. moved to pity, I asked him, “Whom did you lose,
your wife?" “No,” he subbed. “Your mother?” “No," he
sobbcd. “Your father ” “No,” he subbed. “Your sister ”
“No,” he wailed, amid cries of “You should have never
died. you should have nc—e-oever died.” “Did you lose a
friend,” I queried. “No,” he tearfully moaned. Then grow»
ing impatient I said, “Well, then whom did you lose? Who
should have never died?” “My wife’s first husband,” he
mumbled.
514 7h 4*
Add definitions: Chicken-feedaa poultry sum.
as a: *
VICE VERSE
Oh the love is very great,
The love of to child for its mother,
But no love ever comes up to the love

 

of one dead drunk for another.
CON-FU-TSE. l

are. YOUR PARDON

 

The editor of the Freshman» Hand‘
book has been advised that the win«
ners of the Inter-fraternity Track
and Relay event, and the golf com-

petition were Phi Pi Phi and Pi Kappa
Phi respectively, instead of as other--

vise stated in the handbook. For this
error the editor of the handbook

wishes to apologize.

 

The omnipresent “B 0 M B I N G
SQUAD" seems to have brought up
unforeseen difficulties for the water—
color slingcrs in the near—by Grant
Park. However, necessity is the
mother of invention, it was once
said, and “HANK" LOHMILLER is
the mother of this one, to put it
mildly. This calls for an explanation,
so here goes: From out of nowhere
(irony), Hank has procured a bright
RED FLAG, which he waves frant-
ically to his fellow classmen, who
watch him with one eye, whenever
the fearful SQUAD appears, and
they run for shelter immediately.

This is one way of solving a tick-
Iish problem, but it did not seem to
Ilolp a. certain wandering FRESH-
MAN, who was caught unprotected
out in the open. ..anrll much a nice
suit he was wearing.

 

ARK NEWS sends out an urgent
request on the behalf of Merrie
BECKMAN, who has misplaced his
but (more irony) and consequently
has been “goingr collegiate", en-
dangerinu the crop of alfalfa on his
head. Oh yes, the request: will the
one who has found the hat, or other—
wise, please return it to Morrie with
no questions asked, and he will be
glad to take the finder's picture
gratis.

 

It seems strange to what means
an arc/L will resort to act {lulu and
other material in the course of study
for a projct. PFENDT and VAN-
SCOYOC found themselves in a
criminal court, and did not feel out
of place, while gut/wring informa-
tion on such places for their current
problem. We hope we have not giv—
en the other Seniors the idea that
habuobbiug with criminal»; will (lid
their designs, but than they have
tried everything else, so why mt. . .?

This pillar has just received in-
formation that you have always
wanted to know...“UN‘CiLE HER-
MIE" LACVNER’S speech is not an
affectation; it is a product of that
marvelous institution, HARVARD...
SCUBIC is studying piano under
none other than Roy SCHEEL, who
is already famous as a crooner...
“GREEK," IWASA is conducting a
class in languages, namely, JAP-
ANSE...”RAG” GROVES takes
two holidays every school year. and
has one more to go...“UNCLE
EMIL" LADER is a “fresh-air" and

 

athletic fiendfiand works out at the I signs of. old age, one of the charac-
u

Y”...“SWEDE” ERIOSON is go- teristics of which is absent-minded-
ing' out for wrestling “on the mat”,l ness. Although he does not know it,
hoping it will facilitate wrestlingl he answered instead of ADDIS
“on the drawingnboard”...Perhaps t’other day in GRAPHICS, a lucky
we can arrange a bout between LA- oreak for IRV.

DER and ERICKSON.

 

 

 

 

Here is one for the books—Charlie
PFEF'FER almost caused a riot in
dime in front of the ART INSTl- the senior drafting room by doing a.
TUTE will be happy to know that it "self-propelling” walk or (lance.
hon been found, at no little effort However the fun really started when
and labor. Mr. WAGNER is in cuo- Mr. REED came into the room, right
today of the lucrc. in the middle of the dance, and was
Charlie’s fizz crimson!

TOM TAX.

No doubt the peroon who lost a

 

Ralph EDMUNDS is showing

 

 

HOUGH large, the Bell System is simple in structure.
Think of it as a tree.

Branches: 24 associated operating companies. each
attuned to the area it serves.

Trunk: The American Telephone and Telegraph
Company, which. coordinates all system activities.

Roots: Bell Telephone Laboratories and Western
Electric, whose functions are scientific research and
manufacture; Long Lines Department of A. T. and T.,
which through its country-wide network of wires links
together the 24: operating companies, handles overseas
service; Advisory Stall of A. T. and T., which advises
the operating companies on all phases of telephone
operation and searches constantly for better methods.

Working as one, these '
many Bell System units on-
able you to talk to almost
anyone, anywhere, any time.

 

 
 
  
 

 

l
STUDENT
STEPS up TO
TELESCOPE
AND DROPS
PEANUTS our
or HIS POCKET.
AS MONKEY O
LEADS FROM
STAND TO
GET PEANUTS
- MONKEYS TAIL
RELEASES
CATCH ON
puc DRWER
.ALLOWING
or T0 DE$CEND
ON STUDENTS
HEAD CAusuNe
HIM TO SEE
ALL or— HHS
mucous sinus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

       
  
  
   
  
 
 
   
   
  
 
 
 
 
 
   
    

MV IDEA OF A
REAL JOY SMOKE
is To LOAD up WlTH
COOL, MELLOW
D.A.»— AND LET
NATURE TAKE
" ITS COURSE l

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Gilt-AND 'EQEACCQ
.....- WITH WE
«\BH'E" FLEMOVED'
ncRWw CUT W
Fog. com. 5L0

   

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