Pa gc Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of th ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly Uurmg the College Year $21.10 For Your N'Ingle Copies. 10 Cents Each MANAGING BOARD Russell R. Johnson Frank D. Cottermnn . Lumen Cyril L. Du Sell Wulter Hendricks Editor-in~chief Faculty Advisor . EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT .R. S. Kerchtr M. 1}. Stevens GerbLl‘, F. L Leason, S. Rnbinowitz .. . Zwios sci or .0 Bauermexstor, W S Hamlin News Editor Assistants .. l. Knabe. V. J. Kw)?!g1 Fulnndak .1 . ,, 1eatxrandittgr .. ll‘lajercik . o R Weissrnan.N I3 I I . .. . a Si front Editor ‘ R Mansfield . ic uvon §“’$§°'£2lo;ee. . n Chapm. . .i. Chelgren. E . Cierchunowlcz, J. S. Cu I M. F oothk, Ihb G. Eng .D: uln‘lofl‘ert, “R. rJafie B. Parker, A. N . . .'N. LJ-n n, Kauai. R .11“ wrégnet, u Welsamim Schreibcr. J. I) Shechan. E. L. Sotoll, SPORTS DEPARTMENT Assistant Sports Editor . Show: Reporter C. K. Nuuman, D. Ii. .1. M Kubert yle. G. Morris, Stott R Worcester. (lli , J. C. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager. Circulation Manager... Businenfi Assistant , Circulation Assistant 'Vol. XVI. JANUARY 28, 1936 . Forsberg No. 15 Armour’s Student Newspaper Armour’s student newspaper is now nearly eight years old, young as newspapers go, but even so, with a past beyond the ken of any of our pres— ent undergraduates. Few students know how many difficulties cluttered its early path, or have any idea of what changes its mere presence on the campus has wrought. On these points, interest- ing,r as they may be, it will suffice to say that many difficulties were overcome, and that the presence of the News has produced a noticeable change in undergraduate spirit and activity at Armour. But more should be said, and more should be understood, about the exact position and the exact function of the paper in the Armour scene. In the first place, the News is strictly a student newspaper. It holds before the student body a standing invitation to any man who has the ele- mentary ability to write simple English and to fol— low instructions, and who is willing to do a little work, to become a member of its staff. Promo- tions are made strictly on a basis of ability and service. There has never been the faintest sug— gestion that the News is controlled, or even influ— enced by any minority group of clique. ARMOUR TECH NEWS The primary aims of the editorial staff of the News are, and always have been, to put out as good a newspaper as is possible. This means, first of all, that it must be interesting and entertaining, and to this end not only does it publish the best feature material it can obtain, but its treatment of news matter puts a premium on reader inter- est. The paper strives to cover every bit of news that is of interest to the Armour student, and to present it to him in an attractive and palatable guise. Governed entirely by a sense of responsibility, the editorial policy of the News, is perhaps not quite so clearly defined as its news policy. Its edi- torial columns serve as an open forum for the air- ing of all kinds of views on every kind of subject, but they also serve the further purpose of advo— cating definitely the policy of the News editors on many matters of interest to Armour men, not only as students, but as American and world citiu Zens. The complete justice of the latter function is not as well proved as it might be, but both facts and opinions seem to confirm it, and the function. is performed with full realization that it implies a responsibility to weigh, in every case, the editor‘s fundamental duties to the students, to the Insti— tute, and to society. To the foregoing aims and responsibilities may be added one more, a duty which every editorial board keeps in View, the duty to place the News, when it is time for them to leave it, in the hands of a group who appreciate fully what the funcu tions of the paper are, and who have the ability to add to its proficiency in performing them. With this issue of the News, the staff which has laid its course during the past year takes its leave, affirming that the foregoing principles have always governed its policies, and knowing that the staff to follow will continue to hold them in‘view. LETTER BOX The Players’ Audiences The audience of Armour’s plays is not worthy of the earnest efforts of the players. If all the real work and time that is put in by each and every one of the characters in the cast and the in— dividuals backstage, were known to the unappren ciative audience, than acceptance of the finished product would not be one of a three year old in- fant. (Refer to the audience of “Dust of the Road,” which had to be told to be quiet.) It’s al— most sad when boys at a school like Armour are not big enough to absorb the splendid productions Mr. Hendricks offers them. Katherine Pape Urso, (Make-up Artist for the play). February 1. on February 10. It takes quite a bit to disturb us lie-men Arx, but how we take advan» tage of said disturbances. Seems that everyone has been remarking about the recent cold spell (it’s probably warmer now) and so, just to be difiercnt, we will too. It hap- pens that we are not too busy right now and are taking advantage of the cold weather and it provides a pleas— ant (?) interlude in which we are taking" vacations and otherwise. In fact the sophomores adjourned class to go to a local theater just to warm Programs are P rctu 1'!) Registration For yesterday and will C. Pay bill in Cashier's Oflice on the second floor, Main Building. N T B - D. Enroll in classes. (Sec Sched- mv arm egEWS ule below.) This may be done only on Saturday, February 1, Next semester’s registration began 9:00 to 12:00 o'clock, and Mon- continue until day, February 10, 9:00 to 3:00. It will be again held E Return class enrollment card To avoid confusion, and a final program card to the the office advises students to register Registrar’s Office. during the former period. Complete Enrollment in classes, in all sub- jects, by departments, must be instructions for registration follow: Make out a tentative program. er of the Main Building. Fill in registration card and in 9:00 to 3:00. receive class enrollment Mechanical Engineering—«Office, lst card and bill for tuition and fees floor, Machinery Hall ...... Huntly from the Registrar‘s Office. Electrical Eugincering~0 case dripped milk. the “L”, coming down—town. made as follows: Saturday, February 1, 9:00 to 12:00 o’clock, and Monday, February 10, posted in the foy- floor, Main Bldg. ..... Civil Engineering—Office, 43 W. 33rd St. Chemical Engineering~0fi1cc, fioor, Main Bdg. .......... Freud ll: happened on Tuesday, january 28, W36 . . ‘ The Slipstlclc 5 Cleave to the slipstick; let ‘ the slapstick fly where it may. Well boys, it’s time to sharpen up on long range vision 01 get youx “specs” refitted because. . . . 1i: 111 k The final will be rough and dreary, And its and for out of sight; Foot it bravely—«strong or weary; Trust in luck, or do it right. a :11 “Your husband looks like a bril- liant man. I suppose he knows a lot?" “Don’t fool yourself. He doesn’t suspect a thing.” VI: ik ll: Air Pilot: “Have you heard the remark: See Naples and Die?” Passenger: “Yes!” Polit: “Well, we are over Naples and the engine is not functioning." “Lustig'c Krclner Zesting, Cologne. 7! ’F ’l‘ Agitated Wife: “I’m positive that was a human being that we just ran over." Motorist (in thick fog): “Good, then we’re still on the road.” 1l= DI: )k She: “I guess you played around with all the French girls while you were in Paris." He: “No, not all of them. only there for two weeks." 34 =l< I was Daughter: “Why does the bride dress in white?” Mother: “Because she is happy.” Daughter: “Why does the bride— groom dress in black?” Mother (looking at father) : “Keep quiet, don’t ask so many questions.” 1F ill “b SAME DIFFERENCE Ho: “Why does a woman say she’s been shopping when she hasn’t bought a thing?” She: “Why does a man say he’s been fishing when he hasn’t caught a thing"? Ii‘ #1 >li Aftnhle clergyman (to little boy wearing half-socks): “Who's got nice, round, chubby legs?" Little boy: “Mummy!" l: Ill 1!! A young doctor, trying to he a lit— tle Hobby while addressing" a mother’s meeting said: “In all 11w world {her-0’11 nothing so sweet as tlw smile on the [one of an upturned child.” ’11 ’l’- 5?- Conductor: “Can‘t you see the Sign ‘No Smolcing’l” Sailor: “Sure, mate, that’s plain enough. But they are so many dippy signs here. One says, ‘Wear Nemo Corsets.’ So I ain’t paying attention to any of ’cml" A. M. RESULTS OF WAR HALLO’I‘ Returns of the questionnaire submitted to readers of the Armour Tech News of January 14, follow: Doubt- You 0 ml The manufacture and sale of armaments for private profit should be prohibited by international agreement ....... 74 17 2 An effective worldv organization to control international, social, political and economic relationships: (:1) Is it possible. ........... 26 46 20 (b) It Is necessary for the maintenance of world peace. 35 31 14 The League of Nations has proved ineffectual and should be scxapped .......................... The nation must always remain the, ultimate. political un1t.44 27 16 Fmeign investments should be protected by the Army and Nav vy ............................ 11 73 10 War is inevitable under capitalism. . . . . . . . . . . . .......26 48 15 It is my duty: (11) Paiticipate in any war the government may de— . Clare . .......... ..... . .16 65 G (b) Pa1ticipute only in defensive war on our own soil. 57 22 7 (c) To refuse to participate in any war whatsoever. .12 60 9 The most ellectual means to security for the United States at the present time lies in: (a) An Army and Navy sec- and to none. .38 30 17 (b) Compulsoiy m1l1tary training Ibr all able-bodmd men . .................... 8 69 8 (c) Compulsory military training in colleges and uni» versities ................................. . ....... 16 72 4 (d) Isolation and economic self sufficiency . 56 9 (e) Fascist dictatorship ...... 84 1 (f) Communist dictatorship .............. 83 0 (g) Democratic political processes with capitalistic eco— nomic mganization . . . ....................... .86 33 16 (h) Indus tiial as well as political democracy. . . . 58 13 13 (i) Membei ship in the World Court. . . . . . . . .. ....... 15 55 18 be seen regularly in the vicinity of Congress at. and Springfield, and though her name in Selma BUD affectionately calls her "sis." You're clipping Buddy! BROWN, BYSTRICKY AND ARAVOSIS, the three musketeers are going- aristocratic on us. It used to he the Gem now they go to the Rialto. 'l'l‘lE STEAM SillWll-ll. WHAT HAPPENED TO SNOO- NIE? 507. Vito Machulis last Friday, “I’m sure glad it‘s Monday so I don"t have to go to any 10 o’clock class.” Well, well. The Arx are certain- ly soft—licartcda-al’ter locking: Shollo M. Spears out, they broke down un- der his pleading; and let him in !! Chief Santonio Rouvennas Gon- zales Econnmopolis Carstens, (all six of him) alias THE Galloping Greek, is now to be seen hunting on the South Side. ’Smatter Clifiord, are you getting tired of Olga, or don't you like Vodka. Quote: H. 0. Bauormoieter, “the industrious copy- -reader,” on Roget’s Thesaurus: “Is that the book of dirty storios’ — — . ” lBill Petersen does not believe in letting frigid temperatures keep him from his daily sun—baths under the juice lab lamp-racks. Acording to Bill Fogle. the civils in summer camp like to skin their rabbits by feeding them ex-laxl Brother Winston must be inaugur» »————- ating an advice-to-the-lovc-lorn cam. So FRED LEASON claims he saw paign.—To wit: “Never mind Brink, THREE RABBITS walking home we all go through it once, ~ - - " from a dance! Why Fred. BUD (Wottaman) ADELSON who used to boast all- being on Al dyed~ Eugene A. Krok was the first vic— tim of a watchful elevator group—— ln-the-wool woman hater, in now to he got a bath in the mech lab. hillWE 4 all WMW‘T MlL‘DN ES$ l mhidlt drunk WWW Willi tidbit Width dmwthht’i? up. We think the dopes had some- thing to do with the cold weather, so that they could have an excuse to cut classes. ”D0770" reminds one of Lonnie Kaplmr, who, if he repeats a certain expression again, will be a cand’idatc of the Seniors toward the “Sin/ting Fund." We won’t mention what the expression is but you have certainly heard it, and like that popular song (what is the name of it?) the more you hear it, the more you. detest it, Well, the juniors had their first ‘taste of a modeling projet and judg» ment and the results left many dis- illusioned “Gavel” designers. How- ever as usual, a few do rate and these few are Bagnuolo, Johnstone, Chiap- pe and Becker. Since most of the boys did the projet in one day, they said, “If that‘s a projet, a sketch problem would be a snap." Oh yeah! [Oh well, we all benefit from mis- takes and past experiences, but Klip- hardt, having no previous experience in bringing mill: to school, was cer» .tainly in a. sweet jam when his brief The annual basketball tournament is once again in full swing. The first game has been played and the se- niors showed their superiority by beating the juniors 20-16. The hard fought for prize is the famous “Lead Pipe Trophy.” Here’s one about that fresh air fiend REIM. The other day in a. steel class Joe started to open some windows to get some air, but he never 'got around to it because the other boys put him out and locked the doors. Jae got the “air”, but nearly froze in the attempt. We’d like to know why there was such great secrecy about the outcome of the archeo judgment for an “As- syrian Temple.” It was only after much persuasion that we learned that Irv Addis and Roy Samuels each received a mention. Only two archeos were turned in. Don't forget! The Charette is February 7. Get your bids now! A little publicity will not hurt. lt’n really going. to l):- a swell dance. See you there! Tom Tax. Fire Protection Engrg.—Ol’fice, lst floor, 41 W. 13rd St ...... Finnegan Architecture—Office, 3rd floor, Mis- sion Bldg. ................ Spears Engineering" Science—Office. 2nd floor, Chapin Hall, 2nd entrance ........................... Paul “Electrical Engrg. Lab., 2nd floor, Main Mathematics Bldg. Thompson Physics . Bibb Mechanics ............... Paul Englishwofl’ice, 3rd floor, Chopin Hall, 2nd entrance ..... Hendricks Foreign Languagesmoflice, 3rd four, Chapin Hall, 2nd entrance..Sager Social Science—Office, lst floor, 43 W. 33rd St. .............. Dutton Physical Training—Gymnasium, 5th floor, Main Bldg. .......... Krafft For special elective subjects not scheduled confer with the instructors. The hours for these classes will be determined later. The instructors named have full charge of registrations for their de— partments. It is not necessary to register with individual instructors. Registration in all subjects, by do» partments, must be done at places designated. Here’s the reason such a straight-from- the-shoulder no—risk ofiier can be made. We know that in Prince Albert we’ve got the quality-«the taste and aroma—the top-of—the-moming flavor that college men are looking for. Men who have tried Prince Albert are satisfied with no other brand. So now we ask that you, too, try Prince Albert. Test Prince Albert under our positive yon-musube-pleased guarantee. Note the special “crimp cut.” That makes P. A. bum slower and give a cooler smoke. Note the mildness and absence of harshness. That’s because of the famous P. A. "anti—him” process that is always used in the manufacture of Prince Albert. Prince Albert is packed right—in tin. The big red economy tin contains around 50 pipefuls of choice tobacco. Get it at your campus dealer’s now. ENE NAFEflNAh .5;ng §Elli®b€l§ pipaiuis of fragrant tobacco in every 2. ounce tin of Prince Albert @kllt @WER ro WWE dilllfltdhltdt Smoke 20 fragrant pipefuls of Prince Albert. If you don’t find it the mellowest, tastiest pipe tobacco you ever smoked, return the pocket tin with the rest of the tobacco in it to us at any time within a month from this date, and we will re- fund full purchase price, plus postage. (Signed) R. J. Reynolds Tobacco- Co. \ViustonvSalem, N. C. c1 19%. m1. WW» “15.63.